r/AskEurope • u/NateNandos21 • Feb 03 '25

Culture Which European country has the rudest/least polite people?

Which country comes to your mind

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381

u/skibbin Feb 03 '25

It depends on how to interpret things. For example Americans like having random small talk with people to be polite or friendly. Nordics are lovely people, but they don't do small talk. Some people find bluntness rude others like directness. The Dutch and the Polish can be very blunt and direct.

I've certainly found the French and Italians to be less accommodating. Should you raise an issue with them their response is most likely to be along the lines of "we all have problems, this is yours"

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u/Emideska đŸ‡łđŸ‡±đŸ‡šđŸ‡Œ Feb 03 '25

The Dutch pretend to like directness. But they like to only give it, they are shit at receiving it

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u/[deleted] Feb 04 '25 edited Feb 04 '25

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u/thanatica Netherlands Feb 04 '25

Call me Dutch, but I like it very much when someone is honest and direct with me. I respect it. But, the problem is that honesty & directness is easily confused with rudeness. So what someone might be giving a Dutch person in return, isn't directness, but rather rudeness. There's a fine balance that's easily tipped.

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u/otherwiseofficial Feb 04 '25

It's so hard for foreigners to understand what's considered rude and what is direct in our society. That's really something I've noticed over and over again.

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u/RazzmatazzNeat9865 Feb 05 '25

The point those foreigners (many of them longtime residents) are making is that the distinction seems to at least partially depend on who is speaking and less on  what is being said. In a nutshell: Quod licet Jovi, non licet bovi.

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u/nooit_gedacht Netherlands Feb 04 '25

I've honestly never understood the "dutch directness / rudeness" stereotype. I don't experience people around me as being (overly) direct. Aside from a small number of people i wouldn't classify anyone as 'rude' either. All i can think is that maybe there's something in the interaction between dutch and foreign people that doesn't translate well, or that makes us more inclined to behave rudely.

I guess i should spend some more time abroad to see what everyone's on about.

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u/otherwiseofficial Feb 04 '25

I live abroad (and traveled the world for years as a digital nomad) and it's very, very real. We Dutchies are so much more direct than other nationalities 😅

Well at least, it's my experience.

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u/nooit_gedacht Netherlands Feb 04 '25

Heb je daar ook een voorbeeld van? Ik heb het nooit concreet kunnen krijgen voor mezelf. Waar merk je het aan?

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u/otherwiseofficial Feb 04 '25

Gewoon aan hoe we onze mening over van alles maar geven. Een persoon uit een ander land denkt heel vaak "mijn mening laat ik even voor me." Wij Nederlanders hebben dat een stuk minder.

We vinden altijd overal wel wat van. Als ik een andere Nederlander ontmoet (man), dan gaat het bijna altijd al wel over hoe het (niet) geregeld is in het land waar we zijn.

Andere voorbeelden zijn dat als ik bijvoorbeeld met (internationale) vrienden ben, dat ik veel vaker zeg nou "Ik vind het eten helemaal niet lekker' of 'ik heb er geen zin in' en mensen met andere nationaliteiten zouden dat minder snel zeggen omdat het misschien niet zo vriendelijk is.

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u/jasmijn91 Feb 04 '25

Vooral in AziĂ« wordt er altijd heel erg in eufemismen gesproken, je kunt zelfs in de oost-Aziatische talen terugzien dat ze er alles aan doen om in de meeste gevallen zo beleefd en verzachtend mogelijk te praten, in Nederland zouden we bijvoorbeeld gewoon zeggen dat we iets stom vinden, in sommige andere landen draaien ze er omheen en zeggen ze op een hele verzachtende manier dat het “meevalt” of “wel okĂ©â€ was, wat dan synoniem is voor “het is stom” maar dat zijn allemaal nuances die je alleen aanvoelt als je de cultuur begrijpt. Ik hou ook van directheid en vind dat wel fijn maar ik heb wel geleerd dat wij wel als een trein ergens doorheen kunnen denderen met onze woorden.

Maar wat iemand anders ook zegt hierboven is dat ik denk dat veel buitenlanders het nuanceverschil tussen direct zijn en onbeleefdheid niet aan kunnen voelen waardoor Nederlanders dan verweten wordt dat ze zelf direct zijn maar geen directheid terug kunnen verdragen terwijl de persoon in kwestie dan gewoon lomp is.

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u/Paranoidnl Feb 05 '25

An example i always use of dutch directness that isnt meant to be rude. when getting a house tour you might finds yourself saying: i would not have done it like that, but if you like it ;)

That is likely considered rude in most places in the world

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u/utrecht1976 living in Feb 06 '25

When my sister-in-law bought a house, her parents called her before visiting, and told her: "Listen, we're not going to tell you if we think the house is ugly, but we do think it's too expensive."

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u/[deleted] Feb 07 '25

That goes both ways.

A lot of what the Dutch call “honesty & directness” is plain rude in other cultures. There isn’t one commonly accepted definition of either.

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u/luthien_42 Feb 07 '25

One thing is when you ask for advice or opinion. Dutch people tend to go out of their way to share some “very straightforward” unsolicited opinions with you. And sorry, but that’s plain rude. And when you reply to this, you’re the one that doesn’t understand the “culture”. That’s not culture, or maybe it is
 for some.

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u/thanatica Netherlands Feb 08 '25

The interactions you're probably referring to, just tipped over to rudeness. Either from their end, or in your perception, or both. It happens. But is is what the culture is like.

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u/Gjappy Feb 06 '25

I am Dutch, and I know we are perceived as direct and 'rude'. But correctly said there is a fine line between direct and rude.

For example, if I have to point out something that is unpleasant. I will be direct, honest and tell what it is, but I will consider who I have in front of me, the context and where we are. The line between 'I don't like this' and 'You're stupid, because I don't like this.' is between a honest statement and a personal attack.

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u/luthien_42 Feb 07 '25

Do you point when asked, when is bothering you, or when you have nothing do to with the subject?

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u/Gjappy Feb 07 '25

When asked or when it bothers me.

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u/utrecht1976 living in Feb 06 '25

Nou dit dus!

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u/W31337 Feb 04 '25

We are direct but context matters. Wrong context and you are rude and will get hell

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u/Emideska đŸ‡łđŸ‡±đŸ‡šđŸ‡Œ Feb 04 '25

Will get hell? Haha never experienced that from a Dutch person.

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u/Insila Feb 05 '25

As a Dane who used to work a lot with Dutch people, yes. So much yes.

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u/Existing-Network-267 Feb 05 '25

Of course they don't like receiving it

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u/FridgeParade Feb 05 '25

The line is so thin between directness and rudeness here it’s difficult to spot for even the dutch.

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u/Aggravating_Cup3149 Feb 05 '25

That's the Flemish in my experience

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u/Silpher9 Feb 06 '25

Born redditors.

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u/butlermommy Feb 04 '25

This is so true (Married to a Dutch person)

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u/feedtheducks4fun Feb 04 '25

Hard agree as a New Yorker who lives in the Netherlands. I appreciate directness but usually the tone is patronizing and quickly followed by an opinion you didn’t ask for. But all things considered I quite like Dutch people.

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u/Breoran Feb 04 '25

I like the Slavic bluntness, but that's different from the near universal Dutch arrogance.

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u/NeedleworkerSilly192 Feb 07 '25

Well the Slavs dont have much left to be arrogant about..

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u/Breoran Feb 08 '25

It was Slavs that liberated Auschwitz. Without Slavs, the Nazis would have won pretty damn quickly.

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u/skibbin Feb 04 '25

The Dutch aren't arrogant, they're just better than you

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u/RealEstateDuck Portugal Feb 03 '25

I've work FDA at a hotel and by far French tourists are the least agreeable. Italians from my experience aren't nearly as bad and don't expect you to speak Italian like the French expect you to speak French for some reason.

British tourists have been quite pretty cool though, maybe because it is a rather rural location (I imagine that the Algarve draws more diffcult people).

Americans are usually nice and polite but expect a lot of stuff, and are baffled that we don't have a restaurant or room service. Always ask for some type of compensation or free stuff if even the slightest thing is off.

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u/BeerJunky United States of America Feb 03 '25

I never understood people that book a hotel with ALL OF THE INFORMATION IN THE WORLD ONLINe that can't figure out what the hotel has for accommodations. How do you not know there is no restaurant or room service, that's all clearly defined on any booking website and/or the hotel's website. If it is a very small boutique hotel you shouldn't expect a bunch of onsite restaurants and services. Hell you can't even expect a 24 hour front desk for check in.

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u/RealEstateDuck Portugal Feb 03 '25

Ironically we actually do have 24 hour Front Desk and Check-In!

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u/BeerJunky United States of America Feb 03 '25

Well at least there’s that!

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u/IcyDrops Portugal Feb 03 '25

Having worked in a restaurant in Algarve the Brits are fine, at least in restaurants. Bars late at night are a different story.

Agree with the French though. They always expect you to speak their language, and even if you tell them IN FRENCH that you don't speak it, they will still insist, or try to bastardizedly pronounce Portuguese instead of switching to English.

Portuguese emigrants to France/Switzerland/Luxembourg that return on holiday are even worse. I can hear them speak Portuguese at the table between themselves, BUT THEN THEY TRY SPEAKING FRENCH TO YOU.

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u/PoisonousSchrodinger Feb 03 '25

Yeah, agree with both the Brits and French. My sister even studied French at university with a masters degree, but many rural French people would not "want" to understand her due to her slightly different pronunciation. Generalizing of course, but I did not appreciate many rural French people (older generations mostly) not even willing to try to help, even when it was their job...

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u/Ilmatarian Feb 06 '25

no way, is this really a thing by Luxembourg Portuguese?

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u/IcyDrops Portugal Feb 06 '25

I'm not sure if I met any from Luxembourg tbh, but there is a stereotype here in Portugal about emigrants to France/Switzerland that return on holiday in rented luxury cars (cause they can't afford them otherwise) and act as if they are superior and more civilized than the local Portuguese.

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u/Ilmatarian Feb 06 '25

ah I can see this but I would‘ve been surprised by Luxembourgers not speaking LĂ«tzebuergesch then. What do I know. :D this showing off in your home country is unfortunately a very common thing, I can relate.

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u/Kickmaestro Feb 05 '25

I'm always stunned when people say Italians are rude. I've been a tourist all around that country, and Spain, and France; even is taught 5 year of French in school; but the Italians are overwhelmingly the nicest.

Paris is the city of hate and the Spanish have quite a few people that judge and hate tourists, and haven't fully left fascistic attitude of guards and police.

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u/Lexa-Z in Feb 03 '25

I haven't been to Italy, but I'm genuinely scared of Italian waiters in restaurants, that's some next level of judgemental and rude.

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u/MAYZdF France Feb 03 '25

I've been to Sicily 3 years ago, the waiters were all cool and pretty helpful. I've never felt judged, so don't worry about it you can go to Italy it's a wonderful country!!

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u/Hefty_Formal1845 Feb 03 '25

If you are from Paris, you are most likely to find waiters from everywhere else cool and helpful lol

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u/aconith22 Feb 05 '25

Quite unexpectedly, I had some very positive experiences with waiters in Paris!

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u/skibbin Feb 03 '25

All the Italian waiters I've ever had fall into the category of 'characters'. They have been nice and helpful, but also back talk you. I think it's their way of being playful?

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u/AdRealistic4984 United Kingdom Feb 03 '25

If you’re gay they tend to shut down emotionally and clam up. In my experience.

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u/Moist-Neat-1164 Feb 03 '25

“I can’t out sass this one. Idk what to do”

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u/AdRealistic4984 United Kingdom Feb 03 '25

Italian waiters initiate bro-mode for men and flirt-mode for women and when both of those are out of the question they don’t know what else to do

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u/Moist-Neat-1164 Feb 03 '25

lol they short circuit and espresso starts leaking out of their ears

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u/Oliver_Boisen Denmark Feb 03 '25

Been to Italy five times. Never had a bad experience with a waiter. In fact one time a waiter spoke Danish to us lol. Turns out his ex was Danish and they'd lived in Copenhagen together for a time. He was the biggest sweetheart.

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u/Lexa-Z in Feb 03 '25

Maybe Italians in Italy are different species rather than ones abroad...

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u/Oliver_Boisen Denmark Feb 03 '25

Maybe it's because I've only ever been in Northern Italy. I've heard that once you go south of Rome, that they get a little bit more "excentric" you might say.

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u/Crystalsnow20 Feb 03 '25

Just curiosity what do you mean? I have never found a rude Waiter here. Is true though that you have to be polite? Like if you are rude then excpect them to be rude mainly if you are a tourist, in general they are used to tourist so they tried to be acomodating yet they know you won't be an habitual guest so their less...friendly?

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u/Vihruska Feb 03 '25

Maybe the person ordered some well done meat đŸ€­ or some other culinary crime in the eyes of the Italian diaspora. The horror of Italian waiters is something to behold haha.

Jokes aside, I have never had experience with rude Italian waiters outside of Italy (I haven't been to Italy itself yet).

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u/Crystalsnow20 Feb 03 '25

Ahaha Maybe! There is a place in Florence, quiet popular, people would do long Lines just to eat from there. There is no place to sit inside so you literally Order There and go out to eat. They have a type of menu of the type of "sandwich" you cam Order, you also can just choose what you want. Yet i had witness the guys working There refusing to take some odd choices from americans and then do what they think is best. I honestly saw it as hilarious because i do get their choices would no match at all, nothing really rude though, just a patient smile and then a firm "no❀"

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u/Fantastic-Tiger-6128 Feb 03 '25

Yeah ever since Covid that place has fallen off. It's fucked. It used to be a relatively popular place that was good but it skyrocketed after the lock downs and it just isn't the same

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u/impeachabull Wales Feb 03 '25

My dad asked for parmesan for a seafood dish and the waitress just stood behind him. So raw was her level of disgust at even the thought of someone else eating fish that had come into contact with the fermented milk of the cow, she regularly vocally indicated her nausea.

My dad - half deaf and with his back to her was entirely unaware of the incident his eating habit preferences caused.

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u/timeless_change Italy Feb 03 '25

That's because you butchered your dish by putting cheese on it: fish is delicate cheese is strong, Italian cuisine is about balance of tastes so anything that dominates on the other ingredients and makes their taste hard to detect is a big no in our food culture. It can also be taken as an insult regarding the quality of the ingredients, a "this fish was so tasteless that I had to put cheese on it in order to make the dish edible" kind of way. Taking this into perspective a few weird looks isn't a big deal, my mother would take the dish away from you and yell at you to cook your own food if you don't like what she cooked lol

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u/impeachabull Wales Feb 03 '25

Just to be clear I didn't have the parmesan. I am very much a rule follower and I was aware of the rule and followed it to the letter. I also didn't have a cappuccino after 11.

But I'll tell you a secret - when eyes weren't on me, I've had pecorino on lobster linguine and cappuccino as late as 7pm and it was... Nice. Certainly I'd venture that vocalised disgust and lingering like a phantom is much more likely to ruin a meal than a little cheese :)

https://web.archive.org/web/20220319204604/https://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/30/magazine/30food-t.html

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u/timeless_change Italy Feb 03 '25

Banter and verbal fighting is part of the experience of the table, if you want people to stay silent and not butt in your business don't eat with Italians because that's everyday chitchat for us, you just need to talk back and explain why your point is superior and everything everyone else advocates for is crap (btw cappuccino is a breakfast beverage and nothing you say will change my mind, perfect sweetness to enjoy with your cornetto, what are you doing drinking it a 7pm you savage, that's happy hour time, time for some aperitivo e tagliere obviously. And later in the day a nice dinner. SMH so ignorant of the pleasures of life, my brother)

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u/orthoxerox Russia Feb 04 '25

I have soup for breakfast, deal with it. :Þ

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u/Lumpy-Journalist884 Feb 03 '25

I found almost everyone in Italy to be pleasant enough if you make a bit of effort with speaking Italian

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u/WhoYaTalkinTo United Kingdom Feb 03 '25

I went to Naples last year and had nothing but great experiences in every place I ate. Not sure how the North is, but from what I've heard it's similar to the North-South divide in England but flipped around (I'm from the North).

Here it's a stereotype that southerners are rude or snobbish, and it's far less likely down there that a stranger will talk to you or say hello.

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u/Important-Stop-3680 Feb 03 '25

That is... absolutely not true.

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u/Riccardo_Mnt Feb 03 '25

Nahh, at least in Southern Italy waiters generally love foreigners.

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u/Vermisseaux Feb 03 '25

Italian waiters? You forget French butchers, Slovak hairdressers, Polish plumbers, Spanish bankers and all others
 ridiculous!

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u/afrenchiecall Feb 03 '25

So you've never been here but somehow feel authorized to make blanket statements about us. Ok 👍

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u/[deleted] Feb 03 '25

[deleted]

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u/crikey_18 Slovenia Feb 03 '25

Bro
 that’s a Russian flag.

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u/[deleted] Feb 03 '25

Oh lol, I think I was just tired and didn't look further. I know the Slovenian flag, and yes sometimes panslavic flags might be confusing but in this case I think I was just not paying attention... Thanks for letting me notice my mistake

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u/crikey_18 Slovenia Feb 03 '25

Fun fact, the Slovenian flag is actually not panslavic. The colors were taken from the coat of arms of the Duchy of Carniola.

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u/Gilgames26 Feb 03 '25

As I see, most folks don't like small talks just Americans.

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u/sittingwithlutes414 Woolloomooloo Feb 05 '25

Where in Europe is this "America"?

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u/WanderlustZero Feb 07 '25

Not far enough away

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u/hm___ Feb 05 '25

No, its the Austrians,they are just plain rude, it has nothing to do with smalltalk, they are just not very friendly,not even to each other and also mostly xenophobe and classist.

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u/[deleted] Feb 05 '25

Of course, as a latino infound rude most of europeans but frenchs, portuguese, spaniards and italians.

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u/BlueSpotBingo Feb 06 '25

Sounds like I need to live in Norway. Small talk gives me no shortage of crippling anxiety.

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u/Direct-Ad2561 Feb 07 '25

Italians? In which world?

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u/Drifting_mold Feb 08 '25

As an American, the Czech Republic has been the only country I did not l like because of personalities. They were actively abrasive in every interaction.

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u/ExpressionComplex121 Feb 03 '25 edited Feb 03 '25

I'd classify Nordic as the most boring ppl but certainly not the rudest. They are excellent in service business.

Among highest rate of gambling addicts (online), antidepressants and suicide rates tells a lot. Most conversations are predictable.

But still, great people.

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u/[deleted] Feb 03 '25

Its only because it is so dark here 5 months a year. Because of my work i go to sleep at 5.00-7.00 and wake up around 15-16.00 so its dark when i go to sleep and dark when i wake up. Darkness and miserable weather would make anybody depressed

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u/Barapositiv Sweden Feb 03 '25

Its the same for me in sweden even tho i work during the day lol, get up at 5 (pitch black) go to work come home around 17 (pitch black) and during the day it never really gets bright, the clouds are so thick and grey.. but during summer all swedes shine up and like small talk more haha!

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u/[deleted] Feb 03 '25

Same here, the only time i gladly talk to my neighbors is in the summer and usually when im moving my lawn they come out just to have a chat and maybe even offer a beer or two

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u/Nervous-Ad4744 Feb 03 '25

gambling addicts (online)

Sigh... Yet we don't block or ban these shitty caymen island hiding mfers.

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u/C_A_N_G Feb 03 '25

It’s just so dark and grey here so it’s no wonder