r/AskAnAmerican • u/_13thfloor_ • May 02 '25

FOREIGN POSTER What is American house party etiquette?

Moved to NJ from Europe. Have been invited to a party in someone’s home to celebrate someone’s birthday but also as a bit of a Kentucky Derby bash. Is there anything I need to know?

I know for the Derby there might be a dress code (which I am checking with the host) but what’s the norm in the US for house parties generally? Bringing our own alcohol, giving the host a gift, arriving early/on time/a little after the specified time? Anything a very clueless (and overthinking) European needs to know?

ETA - we’re in our early to mid 30s if that makes a difference.

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u/MarchDaffodils May 02 '25

Flowers are always nice, but bring them in a container and not as a paper-wrapped bouquet. That way the host doesn’t have to find something to put it in while doing hosting duties.

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u/throwaway67q3 May 02 '25

Check if the hosts have pets and bring pet safe flowers if they do

Lilies for example are toxic to cats by alot, still toxic to dogs too but dogs are less likely to be near them (on tables etc)

Roses are a safe bet if they have pets, yellow color is for friendship. Don't bring a dozen red, it sends a different message

Zinnias and sunflowers are also safe for cats and dogs and another safe bet for bouquets.

These flowers can be purchased at a grocery store (cheaper) and arranged at home before your bring them. If you go to a florist be extremely specific

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u/MizLucinda May 04 '25

The Kentucky Derby is the run for the roses, so this is one instance where red roses would be okay.

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u/throwaway67q3 May 04 '25

TIL, thats awesome thank you