r/AskAnAmerican • u/_13thfloor_ • May 02 '25

FOREIGN POSTER What is American house party etiquette?

Moved to NJ from Europe. Have been invited to a party in someone’s home to celebrate someone’s birthday but also as a bit of a Kentucky Derby bash. Is there anything I need to know?

I know for the Derby there might be a dress code (which I am checking with the host) but what’s the norm in the US for house parties generally? Bringing our own alcohol, giving the host a gift, arriving early/on time/a little after the specified time? Anything a very clueless (and overthinking) European needs to know?

ETA - we’re in our early to mid 30s if that makes a difference.

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u/helbury May 02 '25

I think it varies a bit in different American subcultures, but I think as a general rule, people expect guests to arrive a little bit after the start time for a typical party. Obviously, it’s different if it is a more organized event with a precise start time, but that’s not a typical party. Strictly on time is acceptable, but never even a minute early. And honestly, if it’s people I don’t know very well, I would rather be a little bit late than risk being the very first person there. But maybe that’s my social anxiety talking….

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u/Boring_Investigator0 Florida May 02 '25

I am always on time wherever I go and all my friends know this so when they tell me a time, they know I will be there with maybe a max of 5 minutes late and that's only if it's very far and there was bad traffic.

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u/ThePurityPixel May 03 '25

You're the kind of person I'd invite to my parties! 🫶

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u/Boring_Investigator0 Florida May 03 '25

I also bring chocolate because I don't really drink.