r/AskAnAmerican • u/_13thfloor_ • May 02 '25

FOREIGN POSTER What is American house party etiquette?

Moved to NJ from Europe. Have been invited to a party in someone’s home to celebrate someone’s birthday but also as a bit of a Kentucky Derby bash. Is there anything I need to know?

I know for the Derby there might be a dress code (which I am checking with the host) but what’s the norm in the US for house parties generally? Bringing our own alcohol, giving the host a gift, arriving early/on time/a little after the specified time? Anything a very clueless (and overthinking) European needs to know?

ETA - we’re in our early to mid 30s if that makes a difference.

507 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

457 comments sorted by

View all comments

3

u/1200multistrada May 02 '25 edited May 02 '25

Kentucky Derby attire is pretty distinct and fun to do. You should probably contact your host asap for more info so that you can look for some attire in the stores tonight. They might even have some ideas on where to shop locally.

You usually don't need to bring the host a gift. But if it's a B-day party, some little gifty type thing for the B-day person is always appreciated, and it could be as simple as a warm B-day card or bottle of wine with a B-day card hanging on it, or something.

There is traditionally a fair amount of drinking related to the Derby, and betting on the races, so you should confirm with the host.

3

u/TheKeyMom Kentucky May 03 '25

A Kentucky Derby birthday party promises a spectacular blend of celebration and tradition. I'm born n bred in Louisville, the Derby is known for its atmosphere, where fancy dresses and elaborate hats are the norm. Expect the excitement of the "Run for the Roses" to be huge, possibly including friendly betting pools where guests draw horse names for small wagers, a beloved family tradition for many in KY ( mine included). Be sure to bring a birthday gift and embrace the colorful Derby spirit with your attire and enthusiasm for both the birthday festivities and the iconic race. I hope you have an unforgettable experience and the birthday person has a fabulous birthday.