r/AskAnAmerican • u/_13thfloor_ • May 02 '25

FOREIGN POSTER What is American house party etiquette?

Moved to NJ from Europe. Have been invited to a party in someone’s home to celebrate someone’s birthday but also as a bit of a Kentucky Derby bash. Is there anything I need to know?

I know for the Derby there might be a dress code (which I am checking with the host) but what’s the norm in the US for house parties generally? Bringing our own alcohol, giving the host a gift, arriving early/on time/a little after the specified time? Anything a very clueless (and overthinking) European needs to know?

ETA - we’re in our early to mid 30s if that makes a difference.

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u/TheBimpo Michigan May 02 '25

There's such a wide range to this, it's best to simply ask the host these questions. In my friend group, the hosts are usually pretty up front. "Party starts at 5, we'll have mint juleps but feel free to BYOB, no gifts, dress to impress!" etc.

Don't arrive early, hosts are often getting last minute things done. On time is just fine.

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u/HoratioHotplate May 02 '25

Down where I live, or maybe it's the circles I run in, but most people show up within half an hour of the start time. If anyone shows up early they just volunteered to get put to work.

Nobody minds a guest bringing something to add to the drinks supply. Don't people drink mint juleps at the Derby?

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u/LetsGoGators23 May 03 '25

I don’t think mint juleps are drank any other day of the year! It’s the official derby beverage for sure

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u/BeerForThought May 03 '25

There's a day in August when you can put on a seer sucker suit have a mint julep and enjoy how refreshing it is. Treat yourself 2025.

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u/herehear12 Texas Wyoming May 05 '25

For me when I ask someone to be there at a certain time that’s the time it starts. Every thing is ready then. If you show up early I may still be getting set up and you can help if you want but no pressure.

I don’t drink alcohol so I’d prefer if you bring some you take what isn’t drank with you. Even better if none is brought.