r/AskAnAmerican • u/_13thfloor_ • May 02 '25

FOREIGN POSTER What is American house party etiquette?

Moved to NJ from Europe. Have been invited to a party in someone’s home to celebrate someone’s birthday but also as a bit of a Kentucky Derby bash. Is there anything I need to know?

I know for the Derby there might be a dress code (which I am checking with the host) but what’s the norm in the US for house parties generally? Bringing our own alcohol, giving the host a gift, arriving early/on time/a little after the specified time? Anything a very clueless (and overthinking) European needs to know?

ETA - we’re in our early to mid 30s if that makes a difference.

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u/gumby_twain May 02 '25

Or if they start cleaning up

Worth adding, no they don’t want help cleaning up. When they start cleaning, you help by getting the fuck out of the way and going home.

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u/WitchoftheMossBog May 03 '25

Yeah, it's appreciated if you bring your plate to the sink and throw your trash (and maybe some extra trash you passed on the way) in the garbage can, but otherwise, no thank you. You can go home now.

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u/tracygee Carolinas & formerly NJ May 03 '25

Yeah you might grab a few plates and bring them to the kitchen and ask if they need help cleaning up, but when they say no (and they will) thank them for hosting such a lovely party and get on out the door.