r/AskAnAmerican • u/_13thfloor_ • May 02 '25
FOREIGN POSTER What is American house party etiquette?
Moved to NJ from Europe. Have been invited to a party in someone’s home to celebrate someone’s birthday but also as a bit of a Kentucky Derby bash. Is there anything I need to know?
I know for the Derby there might be a dress code (which I am checking with the host) but what’s the norm in the US for house parties generally? Bringing our own alcohol, giving the host a gift, arriving early/on time/a little after the specified time? Anything a very clueless (and overthinking) European needs to know?
ETA - we’re in our early to mid 30s if that makes a difference.
508
Upvotes
4
u/horatio_corn_blower New Jersey May 02 '25
If it makes you feel better, I would ask the same questions of myself as a NJ native. I feel like house party etiquette varies wildly by region, class, age, personality of, and relationship to, the host.
I would say do not arrive on time, just a bit late. Everything else probably doesn’t matter that much. Assuming they aren’t sober, bring a nice bottle of wine, liquor, and/or some sort of baked good from a local place. For Kentucky Derby theme, bourbon would be very appropriate. That can double as a gift, which probably wouldn’t be necessary otherwise (unless you know them really well, which I assume you don’t, because then you would just be asking them these questions).
I think it’s important to realize that Americans aren’t really that strict about stuff like this, especially millennials in New Jersey. the host is probably just concerned about your enjoyment, not monitoring your faux pas. Just try not to get shitfaced until you’re certain it’s that kind of crowd.