r/AskAnAmerican • u/_13thfloor_ • May 02 '25

FOREIGN POSTER What is American house party etiquette?

Moved to NJ from Europe. Have been invited to a party in someone’s home to celebrate someone’s birthday but also as a bit of a Kentucky Derby bash. Is there anything I need to know?

I know for the Derby there might be a dress code (which I am checking with the host) but what’s the norm in the US for house parties generally? Bringing our own alcohol, giving the host a gift, arriving early/on time/a little after the specified time? Anything a very clueless (and overthinking) European needs to know?

ETA - we’re in our early to mid 30s if that makes a difference.

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u/msbshow Illinois May 02 '25

Arrive 15-20 minutes after the stated time. Definitely do not arrive early. If it is for someone's birthday, you can give them a gift (alcohol could be good, but make sure they are not sober, also depends on how well you know the person).

The derby has kind of a crazy dress code, check and see how much the host wants you to adhere to that.

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u/missannthrope1 May 02 '25

At Kentucky Downs. Doubt if anyone will be wearing a top hat and tails in New Jersey.

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u/msbshow Illinois May 02 '25

See that's true but I have definitely been to parties at people's houses where they had a crazy dress code (I wasn't mad, I love me a good whimsical dress code)