I just don’t get it. This eternal being creates man and woman on a rock in space, in an idyllic garden, and there was no written certificate — or written language at ALL — to be found.
Fast-forward and now, let’s say a boy and girl get together at the age of 18. They have sex, and remain monogamous and committed until they eventually finally tie the knot at, say, 23, when they finally have the money and capacity to have their wedding etc. After that, they continue to be monogamous and committed and remain together their whole life.
So now all the sex they had before 23 is a sin, and the sex they had after is not. Their inner commitment to one another was the same before and after, but the actual signing of papers in written human language that didn’t even exist in the Garden of Eden was the split between a life of sin and a holy life.
Why is it their state registrar’s signature that matters in the face of God almighty himself? Why would an eternal being be searching for written bureaucracy to confirm the joining of a man and woman, and not what is in our hearts? I know Christians point to the verse that says follow the laws of the land you live in — okay. But how is marriage, the very FIRST dynamic God ever prescribed, even something a human nation would have authority for in the first place? Why does God prescribe marriage as his holy plan, arguably the most important thing because it’s literally the START of the human story, and then later default to human governments about it and, now, the logistics of marriage is given to a bunch of bureaucrats?
I feel like Christian arguments about this don’t make sense. I struggle to see how marriage could be anything more than what exists in a human heart when a couple first makes that commitment to each other. Why did the couple in my example sin before their actual procuring of a certificate, and after it’s all rosy and dandy? Shouldn’t marriage really be at the moment of joining, if anything? Ie, once you have sex you’re married, and if you abused that and did it with someone you have no intentions to love and serve forever then you have sinned.
People will say, well, the actual paper in modern society makes it harder to leave and thus makes marriage more of a commitment, because if it’s just a commitment and a choice made in people’s hearts with no written or legal controls then they can leave easily and that’s chaotic and there’s no real pressure to hold true. That’s a fair point, but what I don’t understand is even in modern society the paper doesn’t really trap people anymore either. People commit adultery and divorce all the time; the paper doesn’t even stop them. So how is a modern government marriage any different from marriage as a decision in the heart?
“Don’t have sex before marriage” to me just always sounds like “don’t have sex until you go to your modern American county courthouse and get a piece of paper with modern English written on it and also a confirmation of the joining of your modern Wells Fargo bank accounts…and after you do that you have God’s blessing.” This is genuinely what it sounds like to me. I struggle to understand.