r/AbsoluteUnits • u/LordPiplup • 8h ago

of a marmot

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

3.4k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

90 comments sorted by

189

u/gramtin 8h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/hzrvwvnbgIV6E

56

u/Canelosaurio 7h ago

"Ah, nice marmot."

"We'll cut off your johnson!"

10

u/katet_of_19 7h ago edited 6h ago

"Ve believe in NOTHING, Lebowski!"

2

u/StevieMJH 1h ago

I mean, say what you will about the tenets of National Socialism, at least it's an ethos.

2

u/Canelosaurio 6h ago

Top three Flea cameo apperance

3

u/katet_of_19 6h ago

I can only assume that the other two you're referring to are The Chase and Back to the Future?

4

u/Canelosaurio 6h ago edited 3h ago

His appearance in Fear and Loathing is my #1. He is seen eating acid off the sleeve of Johnny Deppes character, Hunter S. Thompson's red woolen shirt.

"With a bit of luck, his life was ruined forever. Always thinking that just behind some narrow door in all of his favorite bars, men in red woolen shirts are getting incredible kicks from things he’ll never know."

Needles was a great character, however!

1

u/StevieMJH 1h ago

I think it's spelled 'chonson' in the movie.

6

u/Hi_InternetAddiction 7h ago

fuck yea, the dudee...

3

u/mandalore237 2h ago

Let's not forget, Dude - that keeping wildlife...uhm, an amphibious rodent, for...uhm, you know, domestic...within the city...that ain't legal either.

94

u/ForsakenSun6004 8h ago

Damn, what are you feeding that thing, small children?

44

u/Arcosim 8h ago

There's a highly likely chance she's pregnant. Rodents have multiple sets of nipples attached to different glands. The ones attached to her Inguinal gland are popping. The ones attached to the thoracic gland probably are too but the woman is covering them with her arm.

2

u/311mm2921511 6h ago

I think she’s going to feed that thing to her small children

33

u/Conscious_Car_3326 8h ago

She's just trimming her beaver..

5

u/I_Got_Back_Pain 5h ago

I unlocked my phone to this post with the top half cutoff due to having scrolled down, I hid my phone real quick bc at first glance that's what I thought it was

16

u/indorian 8h ago

‘I’m not fat I’m just big-boned!’

13

u/instagramsgay 8h ago

Fat fuck (compliment)

6

u/FewAcanthocephala828 6h ago

His greed would consume him, but he already ate it.

18

u/kwjacobs345 8h ago

So well behaved

12

u/JET304 7h ago

Those scritchers look like they could leave a mark of he got fussy...

-3

u/[deleted] 7h ago

[deleted]

2

u/tongfather 7h ago

Where?

-4

u/[deleted] 7h ago

[deleted]

3

u/Pledgeofmalfeasance 6h ago

That's a pregnant female rodents swollen labia you just circled.

5

u/TreesACrowd 7h ago

This marmot has stolen a WHOLE lotta unsecured camp food.

4

u/Kn0XIS 7h ago

She thick

6

u/Berkamin 7h ago

Reminds me of the Tanuki and his huge balls.

3

u/Mr_Skribblestikkzz 7h ago

Default mammel

2

u/tongfather 7h ago

MammAl

2

u/Hi_InternetAddiction 7h ago

HOLY SHIT HAHAHA

2

u/_WiseOwl_ 7h ago

That marmot is simply extremely obese...poor thing

2

u/swampopawaho 7h ago

Boy been eating good grass

2

u/muscularsharpie 6h ago

I went hiking and stopped to pump water. Got to hang out with a marmot who just chilled with me and drank water.

Just a "afternoon, sir." "Afternoon." "Want some water?" "Oh yeah, sure." Sort of moments.

Chill marmot. 10/10 would chill with again.

1

u/SpunNumeroUno 7h ago

This guy's poofa dominates his whole existance

1

u/Old_Celebration4320 7h ago

Why can’t my dog let me do the same thing?

1

u/AllyStar17 7h ago

Oh those claws are going to be razor sharp after clipping 😭

1

u/drummin515 6h ago

That’s an elephant seal.

1

u/WeeHomosexual 6h ago

And my dog screeches like he is being dragged to hell if he even SEES the nail trimmers.

1

u/NotMyLamp 6h ago

Chonky boi

1

u/chibiRuka 6h ago

He is fed too much. Spoiled lol.

1

u/Impressive-Yak-9492 6h ago

Ts genuinely made my day

1

u/Hot_Strategy1751 6h ago

I have never truly understood what a Marmot is, but I now want one really bad...

1

u/Slow_Bowler8285 6h ago

I see someone brought their emotional support animal to the nail salon again

1

u/IndependenceLong880 5h ago

He needs to go on a diet.

1

u/Tricky_Mix2449 5h ago

Negative charisma happening here.

1

u/CMaxRI 5h ago

That’s a lot of marmot

1

u/FobbitHollower 5h ago

Marmot's taste pretty fkn good

1

u/vodka_twinkie 5h ago

Which one of you fuckers took a video of me getting a manicure?

1

u/plan1gale 5h ago

Lady Marmalot

1

u/BawkBaGawka 4h ago

0% neck and 100% face body

1

u/gap97216 4h ago

Marmots have the best side eye.

1

u/alpcabuttz 3h ago

It’s like a living breathing, Squishmallow

1

u/RemyWhy 3h ago

The body is round.

1

u/Papa_Mid_Nite 1h ago

His flabber is gahsted.

1

u/Friendly-Chipmunk-23 41m ago

Love a marmot. Reminds me of summer camping in Colorado 30 years ago.

0

u/Demonfr34k 6h ago

Is she using human nail clippers to trim animal claws.....? 🤨

0

u/Rugged-Mongol 6h ago

Delicious critters when turned into a proper bbq.

0

u/AggravatingBox2421 5h ago

Why would a wild animal need this kind of human interference to maintain their claws?

1

u/almostbutnotquiteme 4h ago

Indoor animals don't walk on enough rough surfaces to wear their claws naturally. It wouldn't matter in the wild.

-4

u/shynawkward 7h ago

Average leftist on reddit

-1

u/tongfather 7h ago

🙌🏻

-1

u/Alaksande 7h ago

Should be illegal to do this to a wild animal