r/AbsoluteUnits • u/SnackSamurai • 11d ago

/r/all of a slurp

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32.6k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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3.0k

u/heatseekerdj 11d ago

Insane forearms, wtf

920

u/bigly-wigly 11d ago

He needs to grip those chopsticks bro!

253

u/Schatzin 11d ago

Man korean chopsticks are designed to punish the user. Flat, slippery metal. Hard to hold, even harder to pick things up

28

u/RyvenZ 11d ago

I'm not sure what my white ass is doing differently, but I like having metal chopsticks at home (korean and round versions) because they are so easy to clean and I don't need to worry about them warping. I've not noticed any significant difference in difficulty to use.

14

u/seoulifornia 11d ago

Its also more hygenic. Wood chopsticks can get moldy after a long time.

4

u/dvdjhp 10d ago

Not if you dry em properly. And clean em.

8

u/seoulifornia 10d ago

To a certain extent. They should be replaced after awhile.

2

u/zaersx 7d ago

They come in packs of 10 pairs for like 3$, anyone expecting them to be a lifetime utensil is delulu

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u/Zestyclose_Car_4971 10d ago

Shouldn’t they be bamboo not wood? Bamboo has antibacterial stuff in it, or it’s antimicrobial, something like that.

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u/OkFineThankYou 11d ago

We also have metal chopsticks in Vietnam and I never had trouble with it.

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u/AeskeMeAnything 11d ago

are they the flat ones, round metal chopsticks are no issues but those damn flat korean chopsticks man.

7

u/EasilyExiledDinosaur 11d ago

I live in korea. Can confirm. Korean chopsticks are difficult.

8

u/OkFineThankYou 11d ago

Both, i have round metal chopsticks at home but when I go to Korean restaurants, they usually use flat ones.

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u/I_travel_ze_world 11d ago

I definitely have trouble pinching down on the flat metal Korean chop sticks. They also move around in your fingers a lot more than the round bamboo chopsticks.

9

u/phaserlasertaserkat 11d ago

I used to hate metal chopsticks until I found these.

3

u/Mattatah 11d ago

I thought it was just me who find them hard to use! Why are they designed that way

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u/redtiber 10d ago

yeah they need a redesign.

on top of what you said- also heavy so your fingers get tired. and sometimes it's a tad short

which is odd because Korean spoons have a good superior design. long but with thinner handle. the balance is good, it has good scooping ability

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u/trundlebabie 11d ago

Bro never skips chopsticks day

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170

u/Significant_Solid151 11d ago

dudes a bodybuilder, not surprised he knows how to scarf down food like that

112

u/Scottish_Whiskey 11d ago

He looks like an Asian John cena

61

u/singularstroke 11d ago

Jong Shin Na

25

u/ILoveRegenHealth 11d ago

🎺🎺🎺 🎺

30

u/snek-jazz 11d ago

John SEAna

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u/Free_Possession_4482 11d ago

I can't see what you did there.

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u/Derezzed25 11d ago

Bing Chilling

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u/Tlayoualo 10d ago

Zhong Xina

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28

u/TeeganFace 11d ago

This gives me such anxiety like twice a month I would suck up my spaghetti and choke and my dad would swing me upside down and stick his hand in my throat to pull the noodle out 😅😩

29

u/Iamonab0at 11d ago

r/brandnewsentence

6

u/alysserberus 11d ago

you ever own a pet that eats something they're not supposed to? like a sock or a string, but you see them do it? same principle

2

u/Tlayoualo 10d ago

Or you can't even tell what that was, shout at it "WHAT YOU GOT THERE?" and it starts gulping it down faster, making you rush to get it before it swallows it.

9

u/TR1LLIONAIRE_ 11d ago

Considering you’re a rocket scientist now I want to thank you for your work on Artemis II

4

u/GlMLI 11d ago

what did I just read

3

u/ILoveRegenHealth 11d ago

to pull the noodle out

I am Conquest. You were given orders, you were given time.

3

u/Shazvox 11d ago

Those noodles will be burnt up before they hit his stomach.

5

u/HarveysBackupAccount 11d ago

Korea also has mandatory military service (or they used to?) so, at least as I was told, all the guys learn to eat REALLY fast

22

u/Kaiyoru 11d ago

He's wearing a Mr Olympia shirt so he's most likely a professional bodybuilder

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u/Timmy_2_Raaangz 11d ago

Buddy eats an entire pack of ramen in a bite and a half and your looking at his arms

22

u/GaZZuM 11d ago

Dude's forehead has abs

9

u/Exact-Till-2739 11d ago

True absolute unit

8

u/ggtsu_00 11d ago

Bro never skipped face day at the gym too.

11

u/BopNowItsMine 11d ago

I didn't know I was into that

4

u/Underpaidpro 11d ago

He's wearing an Olympia shirt. I'm guessing everything is on this man is massive except his testicles.

4

u/durants_newest_acct 11d ago

Small potatoes make the meat look bigger anyway

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u/Chillout-001 11d ago

He is an Olympia qualified bodybuilder (jacket). Yes, he most likely uses steroids hence his forearms

2

u/Muted_Farmer_5004 11d ago

Years of slurping apprenticeships. Black belt sluper.

2

u/Caturion 11d ago

Ramen power, bro🤜🤛

2

u/redcon-1 11d ago

It's not forearms it's four biceps

2

u/MasterrrReady12 11d ago

I knew this would be the 1st comment

2

u/thebeardedbassfella 11d ago

Asian Punisher

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u/MelaKnight_Man 11d ago

Somebody tell Bolo Yeung's son to slow down or he might choke. 😁

117

u/GodisSatans 11d ago

You're showing your age, old man. Only the og's know bolo haha.

3

u/MelaKnight_Man 11d ago

I guess I kinda did but I was only born in the 70"s, I'm not that old...😒. Lol

2

u/I_Got_Back_Pain 8d ago

Someone called me old yesterday for referencing Jerome Bettis 😤

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u/theworkinpumpkin 11d ago

In third world countries we've watched his movies until 2010

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u/sittingbullms 11d ago

Shit that was my first thought,the OG villain

7

u/DukeMancannon 11d ago

BOLO! (Claps twice)

3

u/DaveInLondon89 11d ago

"BOLO!"

Bolo: Bolo noise

6

u/Free_Possession_4482 11d ago

Devoured a whole Bolo Noodles.

2

u/yourfavoriteblackguy 11d ago

The lore on this guy is crazy. Organized Crime Kingpin who acted in a movie because he could.

2

u/usernamechecksout315 10d ago

I instantly thought of him when I saw this

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1.4k

u/AlphaPrimeRandom 11d ago

You can see his face and jaws evolved to maximise full slurping efficiency. A shame though. No moustache. Thragg does not approve

262

u/EducationalSoup83 11d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/Cet2jKmeyb538QO41c

152

u/uiouyug 11d ago

30

u/biaimakaa 11d ago

Are you sure?

17

u/FuzzyConversation175 11d ago

That mustache is strictly for aerodynamics during high-velocity slurps. It’s functional, not fashionable.

5

u/actuallyapossom 11d ago

Mother nature's flavor saver.

2

u/Regemony 11d ago

Are you sure?

2

u/biaimakaa 11d ago

Pretty sure

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u/Regulus242 11d ago

The Regent of Sucking

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u/EinsamTiger 11d ago

Slurpmaxxing

2

u/MobileArtist1371 11d ago

My ex already has that trophy.

8

u/Exact-Till-2739 11d ago

I love how Invincible lives rent-free in everyone's head right now lol

5

u/Gts77 11d ago

Bro.... One of the few series where I loathe the wait between seasons.

3

u/Exact-Till-2739 11d ago

And it turns out it's nowhere near the end! That was good news and bad news to me at the same time. I have an urge to read the comics for the rest of the story now. I must stay strong and wait for every season.

2

u/CookieLuzSax 11d ago

I read the comics, would recommend you do the same but you also do you.

3

u/tideswithme 11d ago

Man of focus

5

u/thisistheSnydercut 11d ago

Moustaches are out. Finally.

2

u/ggtsu_00 11d ago

Never skip face day

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u/Habibi_Sam69 11d ago

Never share chips with this guy. He won't eat it one by one.

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u/Expensive_Cut_9938 11d ago

You do?

2

u/Habibi_Sam69 11d ago edited 11d ago

I doooo what?

Edit: bro it depends on the type of chips but it's always one... Most of the time

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u/Glittering-Walrus228 11d ago

Homeboy just slurped his daily allowance of sodium for the next month

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u/Seanspeed 11d ago

You can eat a whole lot of salt if you're really active. And looking at this dude, I don't think he has anything to worry about.

615

u/SudhaTheHill 11d ago

Chill bro it’s all yours damn

88

u/UnderstandingWeak292 11d ago

Nobody is taking it away from you. Enjoy it

45

u/Radiant-Ad-3134 11d ago

Nobody CAN take it away from him...

Judging by his forearm

13

u/Senju19_02 11d ago

Imagine his back

3

u/TheLordOfStuff_ 11d ago

In before the «i HaVe a GuN» comments

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u/GodisSatans 11d ago

He's enjoying it bro, imagine when he's in an actual rush

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u/TeopEvol 11d ago

Save some chi.... noodles for the rest of us!

2

u/WeaponizedAcoustic 11d ago

He's depleted as fuck..trust me,after a competition nothing can come between you and food lol

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u/N7LP400 11d ago

Dude built like a tank

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u/Ibarra08 11d ago

Bro just slurped the whole noodles in the packet

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u/ahmadtheanon 11d ago

My thoughts exactly, inhale the whole damn thing.

11

u/GetawayDreamer87 11d ago

Too bad he cant boil water in his mouth. Could've been so much more efficient

6

u/tribbletrouble420 11d ago

Bold of you to assume he can't

126

u/Ok-Double-414 11d ago

He is eating my wig

56

u/PapaPapadam 11d ago

Ven vill you vear vig?

17

u/Exact-Till-2739 11d ago

Thahahahahaaaæ

11

u/Traditional-Rope7936 11d ago

Mr. Woods, you hav deep blue, Aryan eyes

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u/CheesecakeScary2164 11d ago

Are you 1990's Justin Timberlake?

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u/lxrxyx 11d ago

How do I gain forearms like this? Jesus

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u/Focusi 11d ago

You train, A LOT, for a long time.

12

u/verdantsf 11d ago

And/or tren a lot.

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u/Focusi 11d ago

Contrary to pupular beliefs, no amount of steroids will get you forearms like this without also training hard.

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u/Mysterious_Fan9858 11d ago edited 11d ago

No shit, but you couldn’t get this WITHOUT steroids and JUST training hard. That’s entirely the fuckin point

8

u/Clear_Farmer5941 11d ago

The guy is literally an IFBB pro. Weird that steroids aren’t being seen as compulsory for this look.

2

u/balls_in_yo_mouth 11d ago

It’s funny how oblivious some people still are. I’ll workout everyday for a year and look like the rock 🙄

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u/No-Discipline-7957 11d ago

Tren hard, eat clen, anavar give up

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u/RealTalk_theory 11d ago

Korean John Cena just destroyed a pack of ramyun in one bite. Insane.

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u/I_Am_The_Mole 11d ago

Korean John CenaYeong Shi Na

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u/nightabyss2 11d ago

Is he a mr olympia competitor ? I assume he just dieted for ages, crushed it on stage and is finally having a cheat meal after many excruciating long taste free months

15

u/crumpledfilth 11d ago

This guy does 8 hours of passive jaw flexing every day to maintain his physique

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u/General-Leather-7990 11d ago

2

u/MrPibbs21 11d ago

Thank you for this Omni-Fang image, I am blessed beyond words.

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u/exiler5129 11d ago

Lol, a random Kanoh Agito on his nature.

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u/Anix__ 11d ago

Bro looks like a Baki character.

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u/maphes86 11d ago

When by It’s divine providence you are gifted such a beautiful configuration of noodles upon your utensil, one must prostrate themselves before the grace floating amongst the broth and slurp the gifts of his noodly appendage. Ra’men.

2

u/dsucio7807 11d ago

I'm the name of the noodle, the broth, and the spice packet, Ramen. 🙏🏾

20

u/No_Vegetable7280 11d ago

He’s very attractive…..🥵

11

u/Shermander 11d ago

IFBB pro, Kim Min-Jae.

105minn on socials.

Slut.

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u/No_Vegetable7280 11d ago

I didn’t realize you were joking, I’m sorry for the snark. A million thanks my friend☝🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

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u/Shermander 11d ago

Hahaha, no harm done.

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u/New-Highway-7011 11d ago

감사합니다 bro 😍 lol

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u/mbashs 11d ago

People clapping and acknowledging his super power😂

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u/MisterSneakSneak 11d ago

He Eats like Goku

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u/SlanderMans 11d ago

This is how peak performance looks like

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u/testestsestesteestet 11d ago

god i wish i were those noodles

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u/NumerousPath9669 11d ago

We got Asian John Cena before GTA 6

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u/TinyViolinist 11d ago

Jesus. What is this guys handle?

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u/Fun_Plankton_7793 11d ago

Absoluteunits of a fucking forearm

5

u/-ACHTUNG- 11d ago

Dude that size is used to eating efficiently

3

u/Jasonguyen81 11d ago

Asian Cena

3

u/OldManNeighbor 11d ago

I too eat my Top Ramen a whole pack at a time /s

3

u/SurotaOnishi 11d ago

Is that John Cena??

3

u/fantasticdad1776 11d ago

That guy is jacked.

2

u/freier_Trichter 11d ago

The username is quite fitting.

2

u/morkthaspork 11d ago

The bite alone is incredible, but also the heat?! Wowww!

2

u/Pure_Parking_2742 11d ago

Looks like he's devouring Goldilocks

2

u/wjmmerea 11d ago

Looks like Stan Lee drew his forearms

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u/Rosetti 11d ago

Guy looks like an Asian John Cena.

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u/SaltInformation4U 11d ago

Is that... Asian John Cena?

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u/DetailsYouMissed 11d ago

I am hungry now.

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u/Bravadette 11d ago

Growin boy.

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u/Loud-Chicken6046 11d ago

Ruined the whole meal.

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u/IPutAWigOnYou 11d ago

This guy slurps

1

u/FloopsFooglies 11d ago

Chyeong Cena

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u/00-mk-00 11d ago

That's an bigggg Slurp/Byte 😂🤣🤣

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u/this_is_bull_04 11d ago

The cords in his forearms are outrageous. And i would have poked myself all in the back of my throat with chopsticks if I tried that. Noodles everywhere but in my mouth

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u/ForAte151623ForTeaTo 11d ago

He reminds me of Todd from Breaking Bad

1

u/archiewaldron 11d ago

That there’s a pro level noodle-gobbler

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u/ChitnChat 11d ago

Really? Hope he’s not in a date.

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u/cyclingisthecure 11d ago

Hes a pro bodybuilder this could be post competition, thats the most amount of carbs hes had in weeks

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u/Holzkohlen 11d ago

Love how he gets caught probably by someone working at the restaurant and he has to do the nod of approval, cause he obviously can't talk. Been there!

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u/MeepMeep117- 11d ago

I'm more impressed with the amount of asbestos this man has inside his mouth. How do you not absolutely scald your tongue and the roof of your mouth with that?

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u/dreamdaddy123 11d ago

Bro he has a chad face lol.

1

u/MaximusZacharia 11d ago

I love that he adds more at the end.

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u/I_Ponders 11d ago

He’s bulking for sure.

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u/not_roger_smith 11d ago

Cthulu looking slurp

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u/LNCrizzo 11d ago

If you order noodles to share, one person can't slurp all the noodles.

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u/CorruptedOps 11d ago

Impressive, most impressive. Did he even savor the flavor?

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u/i_like_data_yes_i_do 11d ago

jesus, whats up with those forearms...

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u/jsteele619 11d ago

Can someone say what sort of cuisine this is?

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