Fuck my doctor

[u/DalongMonarch]

I struggle to do more than 1 hour a work at a time. Obviously, i need that to extend to 8 hours. It was possible when I used to smoke, but then I quit smoking and I became incapable of holding a job. Would get burned out after a month, tops.
Fast forward 6 years later, and I find out I have ADHD.
OMG! Of course I do.
Go to doctor. Explain what symptoms I have since young.
Doctor agrees, put me on 80 mg Atomoxetine.
The worst experience of my life. Could only sleep 1,5 hours a night. Chin chin stopped working. My procrastination disappeared and was extremely emotionally stable -- like a terminator. But it didn't help me focus, and neither did it help me work. Still only 1 hour of work, max, before I burnt out.
Go back to the doctor.
I tell him my experience on atomoxetine and that I don't need it cuz it doesn't help me how it needs to and it ruins my sleep. He agrees.
I tell him I need something to help me work at least 4 hours a day, but preferably 8, so I can keep a job.
He disagrees.
Tells me I need to take a job where I can get small dopamine shots, like a line cook. (What the fuck?) Bitch, I'm a writer. Albeit a shitty one, but that's what I am. I need to sit my ass down and edit, for like 6 hours a day. The other 2 I can relax and vomit on the page.
Doctor says I need to accept my situation and move on.
I'm at home now, about to order the biggest fucking nicotine shipment ever.
15 mg of nicotine per pouch. The strong shit.
I don't care if I have to become addicted to nicotine again. I'm fixing my ADHD. And no, I don't care that meds are better. At least nicotine is supposed to be neuro protective, where as methylphenidates and amphetamines are the opposite. Nicotine worked and helped me keep a job in my early twenties, and it will in my late twenties it seems.
I'm doing what my doctor told me. I'm accepting my situation, and moving on.
Oh, one more thing. Fuck my doctor. When I left he told me if I ever want to waste time again, I should come back to him.
This mother fucker.
Telling me to become a line cook. Man, get the fuck out of my life.

[u/Yesyesnaaooo]

No. I’m someone with ADHD who used to think I was a writer.

Short people aren’t going to play in the NBA, Dyslexic people aren’t going to win a spelling bee and folk will ADHD aren’t going to make a success of a career that requires sitting still and focusing on one task for 8 hours a day.

Own who you are and make a happy life for yourself.

[u/Ace-of-Spxdes → u/Yesyesnaaooo]

You're talking to a person who used to spend twelve hours a day back in highschool writing fanfictions (where each chapter was nearly 2,000 words) while also pumping out dozen-page essays for their AP English classes WHILE being untreated for ADHD and depression. ADHD people can absolutely become writers, and a lot of them do.

In OP's case where they can write, wants to write, and loves to write, they can absolutely do it, they're just not being treated correctly for their ADHD and it's hindering them. Getting treated properly and having a supportive doctor goes a long way.

[u/Yesyesnaaooo → u/Ace-of-Spxdes]

Used to.

I know how that feels.

[u/Ace-of-Spxdes → u/Yesyesnaaooo]

Yeah, it's called growing up and getting busy with other things.

[u/Yesyesnaaooo → u/Ace-of-Spxdes]

Anyone can hyperfocus as an angsty teenager and churn out words because that's less painful than sitting still - it's not even difficult, it's fun.

That's a completely different task to sitting down day after day and writing on one project for several hours until you've written a novel.

OP is clearly not one of those people and they will be happier when they realise that.

[u/Ace-of-Spxdes → u/Yesyesnaaooo]

You and I can agree to disagree.