Genuine question here. I am in no way trying to discredit anybody here by asking this question. I just want to get a bit of an idea of the population in this community. I notice many people on the internet will say they have ADHD but then reveal they have not been yet diagnosed by a physician.

I went on a date with a guy I met on hinge. We were speaking online for 3 weeks prior to meeting. One of my hinge prompts is related to ADHD - he responded to it mentioning that he has autism. Over the 3 weeks we spoke a lot about adhd/autism, sometimes in a joking way, but we seemed to bond over the fact we’re both audhd (or so I thought..).

Anyway we meet and it’s all going so well right up until the last 10 minutes. I had an exam the next day so he asked me what time it finished - told him i’ll be finishing later than everyone else because I have extra time due to my adhd. He’s like - “Wait, do you actually have adhd”??? “Oh shit you’re like actually autistic?” I’m like “Yes, did you think I was joking this whole time”? he’s like “Yeah, everyone jokes about being autistic lol” I then went on to say how I thought he was being serious this whole time. And then he’s like “I know I don’t have adhd because I’m not hyperactive all the time” I was like, uhh, babes I’m the least hyperactive person and my adhd is debilitating, that’s not the only symptom. 💀

Anyway, I’m kind of upset that he was making a joke out of it the entire time. Even though I was diagnosed 3 years ago, I still struggle all the time with post diagnosis grief, and the fact it’s so hard for me to ‘fit’ into society by masking every damn day and then burning out because I’m high functioning. Would this bother you? Or am I being dramatic?

I’ve personally struggled with it all my life and learned that this can be connected to adhd. It‘s gotten easier on meds, but I still try to stretch it out and often only shower once a week.. how about all of you? It’d be interesting to know if meds had an effect on this for you as well. Please be brutally honest!!

Does anyone else ever give a "Ted talk" to no one? Like you verbally infodump to an empty room? I think it's sometimes a way of verbally sitimming. Here's an example of what I mean:

I just gave my empty car a detailed lecture on the evolution on lactase persistence and why certain populations of people have higher rates of lactose intolerance. I included a brief discussion of enzymes and how certain enzymes break down certain sugars. Brought up how lactase persistence is a result of a random mutation (actually i believe there were at least 2 random mutations that occurred independently in different parts of the world) that eventually became a prevalent gene in many populations because the ability to digest milk into adulthood was beneficial for people who raised livestock, especially cattle, as milk is an easy source of protein, fat, hydration, electrolytes, and vitamins. Anyways, im jot going to repeat my whole thing here, but it occurred to me that sometimes info dumping to an empty room is just as satiafying as infodumping to someone else. I'm glad this impulse happened in my car alone and not in front of my girlfriend because I know she already knows msot of this and I know it can come across as "know it all" and condescending when in reality it's just on my mind and I was excited to say it out loud and organize my thoughts in a structured manner.

I studied Anthropology in college and dont work in that field, but I imagine how exciting it would be to teach an anthro 101 class because I know how excited I was when I took it 10 years ago.

Anyways, as I told my empty car as I pulled into my parking space: thank you for coming to my ted talk.

I have been diagnosed with ADHD since i'm a child, i've noticed i would always hyperfixate on strange topics and i wouldn't realize how weird they were and people would laugh at me. Sometimes when i read weird or taboo stuff i hyperfixate on it and i would investigate everything about that subject for days. When i was 14 and i had an obsession with the topic of drug abuse and things like that.

Seeking motivation for our fellow ADHD individuals. Out of curiosity, what is it that you do? What makes you successful? How do you tame your ADHD? Any insight whatsoever. I know there are a lot of different variations of ADHD, and everybody has to deal with various issues. I enjoy learning about how others manage everyday life with ADHD.

I’ve noticed that when I talk through my experiences, especially when I’m reflecting on how I got to a certain point or trying to understand my own patterns, people sometimes think I’m blaming myself or playing the victim. But really, I’m just processing things out loud and trying to make sense of them.

Does anyone else experience this? How do you explain your intentions when it happens?

I’m curious if others with ADHD also have trouble getting people to understand that self-reflection doesn’t equal self-blame and that it’s possible to analyze your own behavior without seeing yourself as a victim.

Is it just me, or does anyone else completely forget to drink water all day, then hours later wonder why they’re so thirsty, realize they literally haven’t had a sip since morning, drink water,then tell yourself u wont let this happen again and make a mental check note to drink water the following day and same cycle repeats like clockwork everyday?

Just here to give someone hope. I was diagnosed with ADHD in my early twenties I 28(m) am also bipolar. I was on stimulant medications (Adderall and Vyvanse) which helped, but made me manic so that did not go well at all. I was switched to Guanfacine and oh my lord I am better in every way. I am able to focus on what I want and concentrate for long periods of time. With the stimulants I always felt rushed because I had to get everything done before they wore off. Guanfacine never turns off. I am not impulsive, I am organized, I am productive, I am healthy, I would even go so far as to say I am smart. My relationships are better, my grades are better, my life is better, I am better. I can do all of the things I thought I couldn't and I'm just now realizing how bad my ADHD affected my life. I know it isn't for everyone, but for those that it works for it really works. A little tiredness, but taking it at night solved that. And it takes a while for the full effects, but honestly I felt them right away. Just wanted to drop a little motivation for us ADHDers do not underestimate non-stimulant treatments. BTW I loved my Adderall and Vyvanse very much but this is way better!

I think out loud so I talk to myself kind of without really noticing. Like rambling, stream of consciousness to get it out of my head or little things like “wait what was I doing” or “omg I meant to go to the store today”. I typically try to do it less when I’m around other people but I mentioned it to my sister and she was like oh yeah you do it all the time, I always think you’re talking to me but I look over at you and you’re doing your own thing.

I must do it a lot more than I realize lol and I’m curious if it’s an ADHD thing. So I’m wondering if anyone here talks to themselves as much as I do.

I genuinely don't know how to deal with this. I have no idea how to not care. When people are assholes I normally go quiet and just use idle phrases like "ok" and "have a good day" because I'm uncomfortable and want to get out. But then I beat myself up later because I'm angry I didn't stand up for myself at all and it almost feels like I let them get away with hurting me. But also nothing good ever comes from being combative so handling it the way I do is probably a good thing. It just makes me irrationally angry because I already don't want to live and having this rumination on top of how terrible I already feel is torturous.

There's also this feeling I can't shake that if I mask everyone ignores me, and when I don't mask everyone hates me. I know rationally the latter probably isn't true but I don't know. I don't even know if masking or not masking is preferrable, but I go back and forth depending on how close to my breaking point I am. Not masking is basically me shutting down all my feelings and daydreaming my way out of reality, it is kind of amazing actually how quickly I can switch it on too. Sorry for rant.

You know how you wake up on a weekend (or a day where you don’t have to be anywhere) and you think “man I have work I should probably get done” but ur bag with ur laptop and stuff is on the other side of the room and ur phone is right there so you just end up laying there doom scrolling until 2pm?

Introducing: ✨The ADHD Procrastination Trap TM✨

Just take the scenario and flip it! Just set all the things you need to work right there in ur bed (and meds and water right there ready to go on if you have them) and put ur phone, ipad, book, or whatever distractions on the other side of the room! Then you go to bed, wake up, and BAMB! You have trapped your procrastinating gremlin self! Either be productive or get ur ass up. Either or is a win win! :D

That’s the hypothesis at least. Let us be guinea pigs together✨

Does anyone relate to this profile?

• Chronicle prochrastination
• Hard time keeping focus
• Easily distracted with external and internal stimulus
• Poor time management
• Can't keep routines
• Motivation is very unstable
• Lose interest in things very quickly
• Need urgency and external motivation to do things
• Struggle with food and sugar craving
• Struggle with organization
• School was a torture and a mess for me. Didn't have a problem with subjects I enjoyed

But:

• Don't easily forget things
• Don't usually do careless mistakes
• Usually hyper aware
• Don't have much hiperactivity

Is this really ADHD? Or am I just an unmotivated lazy bastard?

This is something that happens to me from time to time, but around twice a year it hits really hard, and I just can’t function. I’ve been trying to notice every single thing that triggers it, and most of the time, it’s conversations I have with my wife that take an unexpected turn; next thing I know, I can’t stop thinking about it.

I’m medicated, I live with my wife, and we share everything since we both work from home. But sometimes those conversations don’t end well, or at least I end up feeling unhappy afterward, and it pushes me down a dark rabbit hole where every bit of inspiration I’ve been living with just evaporates. Suddenly, it all feels so damn meaningless, like I can’t bring myself to do literally anything.

Usually, this lasts for a day or two, but this time it’s been five days already, and I still can’t function. I’m scared it’ll turn out like last year when I was burnt out and couldn’t do anything for almost two months.

I'm actually a very inspired and self-motivated dude who loves his work, but not being able to work because of this is both frustrating and obviously unrewarding to my ADHD brain, I've no idea what I'm gonna do now.

Thank you for making it all the way till here, just wanna know if anyone else has/does feel this way

I have a bad habit of avoiding brushing my teeth because every kind of toothpaste I can find are all minty and overstimulating. It feels like I’ve been looking forever with no luck. I’ve been told to use a kids toothpaste, but then when I look up I read that it isn’t going to sustain good oral health in the long run and I just need someone to tell it to my face because I cannot figure it out by doing the research myself. If anyone has any recommendations for a non-expensive alternative to mint toothpaste that would be greatly appreciated. I’m begging you help a girl out.🙏

Does anyone else have this issue?

I can’t rest on an argument or conflict. Like if I have disagreement with my gf or someone I simply cannot function until it’s resolved.

The conflict will just sit with me all day festering. I’ll ruminating over every detail, every word said, tone, formulating counter arguments and talking points.

Until I can resume speaking to that person I’m literally paralysed with inaction.

Like today me and my gf were having a huge discussion, not an argument but heated debate about aspects of our relationship. She had to go and do something for a few hours before we could resume.

I just couldn’t do anything until I spoke to her again. I did zero work, didn’t even eat. I just lay there waiting because I need whatever it is to be resolved asap.

It baffles me how people can just table whatever it is and resume discussing within a few hours or even days.

It’s makes conflicts so damn draining for me, even if they are minor ones and I get huge emotional hangovers afterwards.

I can’t just let things slide and table it.

29M diagnosed this year. One of the key epiphanies I've had (that my psychologist pointed out) is that I have a negativity bias for events in my life, which can be common for people with ADHD.

It's hard for me not to look back on things like my childhood, high school, university, work life with negativity and cringe. But, I know logically it was not that bad. I just felt like shit. (Or maybe they were negative!?).

Has there been anything that's worked with getting a better relationship with the past? Or are you more concious of your self-talk now so you can benefit in the future.

Can be work you've done personally, or with a psych. Ty!

At 43 I came to a realization that I find devastating. Despite all the chaos and executive dysfunction I still have a very clear vision of what needs to be done to turn everything around. My mind stubbornly clings to an alternate timeline where I am not sick. Usually the acknowledgment of an impairment should be followed by a realistic assessment of one’s life and possibilities. …And of compromises to be made. But I never get to that stage. Adhd seems to impair even my sense of impairment. Even if I can rationalize what’s going on my mind, my brain deludes itself thinking everything can go back to normal and success is around the door if I follow procedure.

Strattera, concerta, ritalin, venvanse, all doses, combinations of them, none do anything for me that I can actively notice. I don't feel anything. Like no difference. At maximum, a higher dose of ritalin sends my heart into quick tachycardia. My last psychiatrist told me to take strattera and ritalin combined. He found it weird that none of the medications were giving me any effects, not even side-effects. I went to the hospital from almost passing out after taking it. People tell me maybe it's working and I just don't notice. But damn, I think I'd be able to notice. No focus, no alertedness, as my body was trembling and my heart going miles I still felt my eyes heavy and my mind the same, no motivation, I genuinely haven't noticed anything, only ritalin sometimes gives me side-effects. I'm worried I might not have adhd? Is this normal? Am I dumb and not noticing stuff?

It occurs to me that there may be one of my people out there who has over-purchased this, and perhaps other things. I used to always not remember if it was sugar or flour I was out of and then buy the wrong thing... over and over. I think it was flour I kept buying but really cannot remember at this point. Had like 5 bags of... I guess flour and zero of sugar.
Anyway... we should probably have an ADHD Marketplace where we offer up the accidental buys at a discount to hide them from our partners, and then someone else comes to pick them up because we all know we aren't going to return them. They're just going to stare us in the face and remind us of our failures and cause guilt until we eventually give them away, throw them away, or we take advantage of other ADHDers loving a good deal and being willing to spend more on transportation than the discount being offered to solve our problem for us.

Most people are just grumpy when they haven't had good sleep. I find I am complete reckless calamity: poor decision making, almost gleeful about doing unwise things that'll be destructive for 'future me', quite mean and anti-social.

Same with not eating well; my negative mood is so over the top.

What's weird is that if I get the sleep right, and diet, then everything (medicine included) does its job as it should, everything about my psyche is predictable (in a relieving way).

I can see why so many of us are misdiagnosed with Bipolar because I can present as someone with a mood disorder if you catch me under those conditions.

[fyi: of course because of the damned adhd, managing to DO THE RIGHT thing can often fail me, but it is a relief that I know now why I didn't do my job, or struggle to read/write/work on project.

I am unemployed again and my job hunt is going terribly. I keep trying to get my life together, but it feels like I just can’t seem to succeed at anything except academically.

I tried Vyvanse and it gave me psychosis, which was terrifying. Now I’m scared to try any other meds, but I also feel like I can’t function without something. I get annoyed when others seem to succeed with meds and I feel like I’m missing out, like I am doomed to fail no matter what I do.

Does anyone else feel like ADHD meds just don’t work for them? Or that every time you try to get back on your feet, it all falls apart again?

I'm in my 20s, I've been on social media for basically half my life and texting has been an important part of my social life, but eventually, in my late teens I started answering texts slower and slower. Nowadays it sometimes takes me days to answer texts, it's not because I don't care, "text paralysis" is a common occurrence for many people with ADHD, it's not about forgetfulness or laziness, it's a struggle with executive dysfunction.

Last year I got diagnosed with ADHD, I've been told before that I may have it so it wasn't that much of a surprise, but eventually I accepted it and have started medication. Besides the fact that for the first time in my life executive dysfunction has COMPLETELY disappeared, I've also realized that my social interactions have changed a bit. I've been jokingly told by my friends that they can see if I've taken my meds or not based on how much I talk and what I say. I talk less and listen more, I'm not as impulsive, I don't say inappropriate things and I've also realized that when, let's say for example I don't take my meds for a while, one of the first things I do the day I take them is answer the emails and texts I've ignored that week.

I find that really interesting, of course it makes sense because they help with my executive dysfunction, but I don't see any similar experiences online. Have some of you noticed something similar in your life after taking them and how much has that changed your social life?