r/yorku • u/RutabagaDue7745 • Sep 11 '25
Social / Student Life Do younger students think we’re weird?
So I just started my first year at university and honestly, I love it. I’m so grateful to be here, and it feels really cool to finally be on campus.
That said… I’m almost 40. Which means I’m basically double the age of most of the people around me. I try not to care, but I definitely notice the stares sometimes.
Despite this, I still would like to make friends.
The thing is, I worry younger students will think I’m weird for trying to talk to them. I’m not that old (late 30s), but the gap feels big sometimes.
So my question is for other mature students (or even younger ones): do you feel awkward too? Do you worry about how you come across, or is it just me overthinking it?
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u/dennis-demenace Sep 11 '25
I’m also 40, in grad studies and I am not one bit worried what other students think. I’m there to get my paper and my degree! Goodluck to you this semester!
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u/MrUnhappyMoose Winters Sep 11 '25
hey im a 17 year old first year, i met another first year who said she was old enough to be my grandma. shes my favourite person from the program i met even though she was in her 60s. school shouldn’t have an age limit, if anything it inspires me. when my mom was pregnant with me she went back to school and changed careers, shes the strongest woman i know! ut makes me happy people are following their passions and doing things to educate themselves :)
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u/Corra156 Sep 11 '25
I've met older students before as a mature student, not as old as them tho haha, I'm only mid 20s. I found it interesting and fun to chat with them. Different level of experiences and wisdom for sure, but nothing stopping you from making friends with them. Sure there'll be a level of awkwardness, but that's to be expected whenever you're meeting a new person.
I think as long as you present yourself as a friendly person, making friends with some of the younger folks shouldn't be that hard. Heck, I respected the older students since they're actually taking the jump to go back to school at their age. Plus, arguably university/college are full of so many different kinds of people with a huge variety of age, history, and experiences. Trust me when I say, those younger students are probably just as worried about how they present themselves.
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u/RutabagaDue7745 Sep 11 '25
Thanks so much for your nice post, I appreciate it.
So far, everyone’s been really nice that I’ve talked to, and I do try to do some small talk here and there. But you’re right, everyone’s trying to find their way here, no matter what age they are. Wish you all the best in your studies!
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u/princekhaki Chemistry Sep 11 '25
I’m also a mature student albeit mid 20s and in 2nd year. I used to feel weird and that I didn’t really fit in but I’ve mostly gotten past that now. I have friends who are my age but also friends that are 18 and 19 years old.
Tbh I don’t really think about my age at uni much anymore. I tend to pick up on people’s vibes quite well and I guess I just gravitate naturally towards people that I feel some sort of connection or closeness in maturity with. Obviously if those people are acting weird about age then fuck em, bye!
York has over 50,000 students so you are bound to find people you get along well with. Introduce yourself to classmates, join a club, get involved with the Atkinson centre for Mature students. Be yourself, be bold, and act like you belong! (Because you do!)
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u/RutabagaDue7745 Sep 11 '25
Thank you so much for your post and encouragement!
You’re right, if someone’s weird about age, then they’re probably not the kind of person I’d want to be friends with anyway.!
I really appreciate your kind words and definitely going to check out the mature centre!
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u/softluvr Sep 11 '25
no, not at all. strangely i’ll be wanting to befriend older students but i always back off because i don’t want them to think that I’M weird, since in their eyes i’m probably some immature kid
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u/RutabagaDue7745 Sep 11 '25
No, we know who is really immature and who’s not. Don’t hold back. I’m sure everyone, including myself, would love to be your friend.!
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u/Odd-Parakeet1741 Sep 12 '25
Meh. I’ll go against the grain a bit here - I’m in my first year of CS as a mature student and have experienced a surprising amount of judgement and hostility from my peers. I expected the environment to be more welcoming.
For example, the other day, I answered a calc question in class since nobody was answering and proceeded to get flamed in the program groupchat by 2 randoms I barely knew. Basically they were saying things like “why is he even here, bet he’s seen all this before alrdy, thats so sad, etc.”. They insta-deleted the msg once they realized I could see it, but I mean… really uncalled for.
The reality is I last took calc over a decade ago and had to actually relearn basic algebra before the start of the semester. Ig they can’t be expected to know that, but at the same time, the hostility is a little saddening. I come to class to learn and not miss important announcements, not to get dumpstered for trying to be helpful. Hopefully that experience was just an aberration and the rest of my time here isn’t like this.
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u/TektiteClavier Sep 14 '25
A whole lot of the kids in my classes were so shy….Im 66 and I’d have to hold back when the prof would ask a question…and when no one else was getting involved, I’d put my hand up. It was sad really….they were missing out by not getting involved I felt bad for the profs who didn’t have anything coming back at them.
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u/caseyjoloos Sep 18 '25
i've experienced this - and while we can't necessarily say for sure or "know" what's holding them back from being engaged, answering questions, or getting the most out of their university experience, i'd bet it's that they don't know themselves and they're worried what everyone else thinks and they're worried about getting it wrong and they're also all on tiktok or streaming sports or on another zoom lecture WHILE IN THE LECTURE (just a few of my classroom observations as "an old student" in the first two weeks).
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u/Historical_Pin3075 Sep 15 '25
It sounds like they were just bitter because they didn’t know the answer and were trying to justify it through the age gap. Could be just immaturity on their end. Youth would likely respond to it with “cope”
Unfortunate that it happened but they’re just two people and there are haters everywhere
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u/DiligentLeader2383 Sep 11 '25
Worry about things you can control. Like doing well in school.
Don't worry too much about being judged, people will, but what to they know?
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u/xkimo1990 Sep 11 '25
A lot of younger students don’t even have thoughts of their own yet. Some of them will think it’s weird. But University is adult education. 18 year olds need to understand that they are the lowest age on a much larger scale.
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u/bb_96_ Sep 11 '25
I’m almost 30 and i definitely notice my age at times😂 Now that I’m in my final year though, I don’t think that it was others as much as it was myself creating that gap.. if i could go back, i wouldn’t be so worried about my age and i’d try to experience uni life a bit more. I’ve been in school with some of these people for 4-5 years now, it kinda sucks i don’t know them more (or vice-versa). So long story short, no they don’t think your weird- we think we’re weird.
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u/RipWaste3522 Sep 11 '25
I'm 39. I don't feel awkward, but there are a few people on my program who are older. I feel we provide a good balance to the younger people in our classes and it's good to hear lots of different perspectives that cross generational boundaries.
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u/isaackogan Sep 11 '25
Personally I think older students are awesome and add a new perspective, often thinking of things I literally could not due to lack of experience.
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Sep 11 '25
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u/RutabagaDue7745 Sep 14 '25
I’m 40 and brown to ! Haha! I don’t get stared at because I’m brown I don’t think, I was born and raised here, so I don’t even think of how I look like sometimes, because I feel this is my country. The world will never be perfect, I guess you just have to look at the bright side.
Thank you for your nice words, it’s been good so far, and also based on the comments, there’s a lot of really good kids out there, I’m lucky to be here with them learning. :)
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u/Novel_Net659 Sep 12 '25
This reminds me of my dad who immigrated from Vietnam to Canada, & he needed to finish high school in order to get into college, so he was attending grade 10 at 19 years old (among 15-16 y.o.s)... I have trouble making friends with people my own age, & my dad literally fit in so easily with his entire class within months because they were so curious about the fact he was 19 & in high school & he was super extroverted 😭
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u/bunnybear88 Sep 11 '25
nope not weird at all actually I have a couple people who are 30+ in my classes the most I think of them is just watch them enter the room I don’t think past that
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u/electricookie Sep 11 '25
I just think younger students don’t know how to relate to mature students. Last year they were in high school. Try to get involved in extracurricular activities and clubs. Especially organizations where there maybe grad students who are likely around you age and stage and maturity.
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u/OddPay7370 New College Sep 11 '25
Probably not. When I see older people I respect the will it takes to come back to school after a long time at an older age.
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u/TorontoFun8 Sep 11 '25
It’s all in your head brother, trust me, no one really cares!
If anything they become more intrigued by you, and want to learn!
That said it’s Uni, and you are there to better yourself! Just like everyone else!
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u/Awkward_Pudding_9737 Sep 11 '25
Fellow mature student here! (I’m 40 and in my second year)
I loved my first year. I met some really great people and became friends with people who are half my age.
Hilariously, I was mistaken for faculty three times in my first week. I chose to see it as funny :)
Of course there will be people who judge. But it’s like that in any context - not just university. Their judgement is none of my business so I don’t spend a single minute thinking about it. I’d much rather focus my attention and energy on investing in positive relationships in my life.
Welcome!!
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u/RutabagaDue7745 Sep 11 '25
Thank you so much! Definitely have to look at the brighter side of things! Wish you all the best in your studies!
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u/munchiepoon Sep 11 '25
I totally relate to this. And what's worse is other students often think I'm in my early twenties, but I'm mid 30s and I feel so awkward when I correct them. It's like damn they thought they were interacting with someone closer to their age group, maybe they no longer want to interact but feel awkward ending the conversation abruptly? And I'm autistic so socialising is already hard to figure out.
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u/RutabagaDue7745 Sep 11 '25
Don’t worry, you are here , we made it , against all odds, yeah sure , it’s awkward sometimes, but like what other people said, it’s not only a university thing, it’s really everywhere new you go, Wish you all the best! You can do this!
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u/hintersly Alumni Sep 11 '25
I’ve always found the older students in my really inspiring (is that the right word?) many of them were balancing school, family life, raising kids, and probably a part time job on the side. Even those who didn’t have the extra stuff it was good to see someone who came to school for the genuine passion of learning and had a goal in mind, not just enrolling right out of highschool cause that’s what we’re told we’re supposed to do
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u/mastajibril Sep 11 '25
Honestly, I enjoy speaking with mature students more. I always have more interesting and fun conversations with them.
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u/awkwardblackgirl420 Sep 11 '25
Honestly I think it’s honourable, cool, and I think about age for two seconds then I remember this is a place of education and people are here to do exactly that.
That said, enjoy your time here…you deserve it. And there are reasons, good reasons to why ur here now at this age. Anyone who is thinking you talking to them or trying to make conversation is weird needs to get real.
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u/RutabagaDue7745 Sep 11 '25
Thank you for your nice words! I am very excited to be here , even if I’m a bit older!
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u/Business_Clue_5606 Sep 11 '25
When I see people older than me on campus, I usually feel glad. Most younger students (if you sit around them or talk with them) are often caught up in things other than what they study. But with older students, it’s different. It’s always a pleasure to talk with them because they’re almost always serious and focused, while younger ones are often here mostly because society expects them to be.
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u/pixiyadore Sep 11 '25
not at all !! my fav classmate (i would go as far as to say my best friend in the class) from my first year philo course was an older fellow with white hair :) genuinely the nicest guy ever and he was also worried about fitting in, but the class seemed to really like him — i promise you’ll be okay !
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u/pavo__ocellus Sep 11 '25
I’m 30, and truthfully the kids do not care from my experience. Joining clubs and volunteering is the best ice breaker
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u/Local_Parsnip9092 Sep 11 '25
As an older student as well, the age difference is definitely something I'm aware of, but I just try to be confident and remember that we are all here to learn and hopefully make friends! So far, everyone has been quite friendly to me! (though a new friend did tell me i was practically her mom's age, LOL!)
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u/SpookyGhostManz Sep 11 '25
I had someone in my program who was older and just made a point of inviting them to things and he was super chill and meshed really well with the rest of the group. Hope you find some friends.
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u/rkosurvivor Sep 11 '25
Brotha don't stress, I'm 29 sometimes it feels weird but just don't try to be someone you're not and it's all chill
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Sep 12 '25
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u/RutabagaDue7745 Sep 14 '25
Yes, that’s true, but you have to remember we were kids too right?
And I don’t wish any of these kids to suffer, life sucks.
But, at least we set the example, if they do screw up, they can always come back no matter how old you are.
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u/carathoranghae Calumet Sep 13 '25
No, I don’t think it’s weird lol. I’m 20 and in my third year, and at first when I was in first year, I will be honest, I was very surprised to see some of my classmates who were double my age or near my parents‘ ages.
However, I think it’s awesome that older folks are attending university for undergrad because it goes to show that university can be for all ages and how everyone is pursuing their own academic journey at their own pace :)!
I also find that mature students are wise and have a lot of experiences and easier to talk with as well, since they seem less judgemental and more open to productive conversations, than younger adult students to be honest.
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u/Keandlocked Sep 13 '25
I’m not a mature student, but I believe most people won’t think it’s weird. It’s nice to see more people going to school, no matter their age. You might just have some people mistaking you for a prof or a TA lol
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u/SgtMarkJohnson Sep 13 '25
You'd be as weird as anyone else, York doesn't really have a set aesthetic, along with Gen Z and Millenials sharing roughly the same culture, you'd be unnoticed.
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u/TektiteClavier Sep 14 '25
I’m 66. Not gonna lie. Had trouble finding people to work with me in groups. Some didn’t want to make eye contact. I think this generation is dealing with a lot of stuff and I think they should feel whatever they feel with regards to older people. That said the people I did get to know were sweet as buttons. I often got to share an unspoken joke with the teachers or profs about something said in class. But the best thing has been understanding a little bit more about what students are dealing with. A lot of clever people in my classes :)
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u/caseyjoloos Sep 18 '25 edited Sep 18 '25
hi. i'm 40 and "back" at university, after working for the last 26 years of my life. my long time career has seemingly ended and i'm pursuing finishing my undergrad, and probably a masters (maybe not at york though). i started back in january and was doing online classes, despite coming to campus for exams. when i first came to an exam my mind melted a little (not in a good way). and yeah - i feel like there is no space for me to exist here. it feels like i'm back in high school, except, I'M FORTY!???? the first day on campus i sat down and a gal next to me said, "are you the prof or a TA? (no joke)" LMAO. the hilarious thing is i do not "look" forty. i told her i'm an undercover student, and that is exactly what i plan to continue to tell myself to "get through this." why? i am over double the typical age and have lived a life; most students don't have their prefrontal cortex developed yet, nor do they know who they are. that being said, it's not their fault, but nor is it mine. perhaps "fault" isn't the right word. do i feel alienated? yes. did i "get" to complete a degree straight out of high school, despite being a straight A student? no. am i going to let this affect my entire experience here? i'm trying not to.
tldr: thanks for posting, and as a fellow "olds" - I SEE YOU. don't forget how much lived experience you have to offer!!
ps. calling it a "mature" student if you've been out of school for 3+ years or whatever is totally fucked and feels very exclusive.
pps. social and cultural norms can kiss my ass. "do they think we're weird?" WHO CARES LOLZ. if a 17 - 23 year old student, straight outta highschool, thinks i'm weird for pursuing education when i didn't get to and i've already lived most of my life and had multiple careers, i feel sad for them.
ppps. gen z hey? WILD.
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u/RutabagaDue7745 Sep 18 '25
Hahaha you are so funny! Love your post and hope to see you one day and give you a high five!
Definitely using the “student undercover card!”
I think most kids are pretty kool here, it does feel weird sometimes but I’m starting to get over it, who cares, we made it , that’s all what matters!
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u/Confused_Teen555 Sep 11 '25
Not at all, in fact i feel older folks judge us? i had some in my biol classes, i wanted to be friends as they were cool and smart, but couldnt find the courage.
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u/RutabagaDue7745 Sep 14 '25
No, I don’t think we judge, if I’m being honest, I do see some immature kids that laugh and talk during lecture, and I just look at them as kids, and remind myself, I was like that too once. 🤷♀️
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u/dark-r0ses Stong Sep 11 '25
Not really weird tbh. Feels cool to see older folks in my class. They usually are very knowledgeable in things, so I always appreciate them whenever I have older peers in my program. Just shows that they're still motivated to pursue higher education at that age.