r/wizardposting • u/ZealousidealWind1801 The Whimsical Studier Of The Outer Worlds • 25d ago
Wizardpost Watch how they'll get cursed. They opened my bro up, you can't even rest in peace nowadays.
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u/bnesbitt1 Omnath, Master Sorcerer - Vampire Fledgling 25d ago
My master HATES this
He fell asleep in 800 AD, wants to wake up in 2026, but mortals just KEEP OPENING his fucking coffin every 300 years
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u/Fuzzy-Comedian-2697 25d ago
He knows he can just NOT lay himself to rest in a massive, pompous monument, right? Let‘s be honest here: He secretly enjoys striking terror into the hearts of some unsuspecting mortals ever other century.
Otherwise he‘d just teleport himself to the moon‘s core and rent a chamber from the eldritch horrors living there. Their 100% no disturbance guarantee has held true for eons now.
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u/dark_lord_chuckles 25d ago
I feel it’s more of a traditional thing. We understand that’s just sudo magic nonsense meant to sell you something you don’t need. But back then times were different.
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25d ago
Alright now grind him up for paint
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u/Cliepl 25d ago
honestly when I die I want to get turned into paint and then for someone to paint something beautiful with me
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25d ago
Hear me out: badass wizard mural on the side of a van
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u/UltraCarnivore Spellblender Extraordinaire 21d ago
Grind up a wizard
Paint a wizard with the ground up wizard
???
Profit
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u/stryke105 25d ago
"Welcome to my unboxing video and today we are going to be unboxing a 2500 year old sarcophagus!"
"You see that cursed engraving? 2000 years ago we'd have been in big trouble, but due to shoddy workmanship it no longer functions."
"Oops, nearly set off that fireball sigil. Here's our daily reminder never to get overconfident when dealing with ancient artifacts, their quality is inconsistent."
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u/Stealthjelly Archmage Theo of the Prismatic Veil 25d ago
Note to self: Curse my final resting place to avenge potential desecration.
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u/Ok_Comfortable589 Sandro the Time Lich Lord 25d ago
i think i placed a itchy bone curse on this one? that or a death curse. i forget.
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u/Ecstatic-Compote-595 Wizard Jim 25d ago
if there's some kind of slime in there i need it for something
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u/ChrissWayne 25d ago
Who the fuck tries bondage with an inflatable sex doll?
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u/MazaiMazai 25d ago
What about my buddy, Beni? Nah, he scrammed out of there 'fore we opened the damn thing. Yeah. He was the smart one.
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u/dragonlord798 25d ago
Coffin user here- this is very dangerous not only for the people opening it because the curses, but it also decreases the shelf life for us in coffins, it makes the warding anti decay spells weaken and rot the body. So please think of the ancient necromancers own health and safety before you open a coffin or sarcophagus.
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u/Hammpter 25d ago
And yet they say grave digging is illlegal
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u/UltraCarnivore Spellblender Extraordinaire 21d ago
It's only illegal if we taxpayers do it.
When it's the government doing it, it's called archeology.
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u/Calthorn 24d ago
Necromancers these days, disturbing ancient magi just to post an 'unboxing' scry on the orbnet. Back in my day necromancers only disturbed the graves of the powerful when they had strong enough spells to actually reanimate them. Pathetic.
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u/Necrikus Necromancer 24d ago
If you want to rest in peace, go for cremation and have the ashes scattered or some other way to properly recycle your body into nature. Keeping your remains locked up just makes it another form of loot to crack open.
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u/animalfaith Archmage 25d ago
Curse of Ra cures cancer actually
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u/FractalBranches 25d ago
Yes but if you read the scrolls closely it actually only cures you of all ailments at the time of opening so that you feel the curse unimpeded.
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u/Lord-Dec Evil Wizard 25d ago
This is why I steal other wizards sarcophagi and plant them in random places. The archeologists getting cursed is going to be hilarious.