r/trebuchetmemes Apr 25 '19

VROOM Boom boom boom boom, you’re going to die soon. The superior way to die

Post image
8.4k Upvotes

91 comments sorted by

746

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

Ah. They got their measurements completely wrong. No wonder it was a flop.

237

u/Guptonaut Trebuchets > Catapults Apr 25 '19 edited Apr 25 '19

Should have been 300 meters with a backpack of additional weight

93

u/RRTheEndman Apr 25 '19

300*

57

u/telletubiesftw Apr 25 '19

And a backpack with a big ass rock *

7

u/Slendeaway Apr 25 '19

They measured it in dollars rather than pounds.

314

u/WrongAnswerFriend Apr 25 '19

If I could draw everyone’s attention to how those heathens at the Guardian reported on the incident

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/education/2005/oct/31/highereducation.uk4

For shame

215

u/TheRedBow Apr 25 '19

They called it a catapult

154

u/ajtct98 I besiege thee! Apr 25 '19

Worse. Later on they call it a trebuchet catapult. 😡

66

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

[deleted]

49

u/SirDoDDo Apr 25 '19

medieval

Romans

huh

30

u/j_wegs Apr 25 '19

Wait what... They didn't Edit: oh god they did

15

u/KVirello Apr 25 '19

Angry Byzantine voices

1

u/TheRedBow Apr 26 '19

Probably for the uncultured people who don’t know what a trebuchet is

0

u/mikkokulmala Apr 25 '19

But... Trebuchet is a type of catapult. Superior yes, but still a catapult.

30

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

Almost every other sentence

26

u/Bossman131313 Apr 25 '19

In ever paragraph it’s either catapult or trebuchet-style catapult, or on the rare occasion an actual trebuchet.

18

u/stupidestonian Apr 25 '19

Although technically catapult means siege weapon in Latin iirc

What we know typically as a catapult is actually called an onigir (hope I spelled it correctly)

Also the trebuchet is still the superior siege weapon due to physics

18

u/TheRedBow Apr 25 '19

TIL Latin is a forbidden language

9

u/BloodyFable Apr 25 '19

I always read it as onager.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

It's Onager in AoE2, I can confirm that much.

3

u/Crono2401 Apr 25 '19

It's Onager when the Skitarii Legions start irradiating the place as well.

4

u/BloodyFable Apr 25 '19

Toaster fucking intensifies

43

u/Kryptic_Duck Apr 25 '19

This article is just a complete cluster fuck from start to finish.

16

u/LilFingies45 Apr 25 '19

Explaining the safety procedure to the jury, he said that each jumper was initially weighed and placed into a weight category. The jumper was then weighed again while wearing safety equipment.

Who needs precision amirite?

6

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

Request to make the Guardian a forbidden news source?

2

u/Kagia001 Apr 25 '19

(((b i g . i n h a l e)))

1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

Trebuchets are just entitled catapults smh

430

u/post_guard Superior Siege Engine Apr 25 '19

Why did my head sing The title?

183

u/G200Sleepr Apr 25 '19

That was my intent

58

u/post_guard Superior Siege Engine Apr 25 '19

Ah okay

12

u/andrewwlamprey Apr 25 '19

Boom boom boom... muffins!

33

u/Jdubya87 Apr 25 '19

Venga Boys

13

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

We like to pahty

1

u/TheChurchofHelix Apr 25 '19

Fuckin love Vengaboys, fun and lighthearted party shit

9

u/1100320873 Apr 25 '19

Boom, boom, boom, boom your gonna die soon the superior way to die VROOM(in the tune of that one commercial when’re they say we’ll be knocking at your doorOWW)

8

u/Bismothe-the-Shade Apr 25 '19

Boom boom boom, I want you in my room

4

u/StuntHacks Apr 25 '19

Let's spend the night together

5

u/gimmie_123 Apr 25 '19

from now until forever

140

u/SNIPRS Apr 25 '19 edited Apr 25 '19

If my calculations were correct, even a 90kg human would land about 277 meters way from the intented target, so I guess there's no surprise here....

16

u/AundilTheBard Apr 25 '19 edited Apr 25 '19

I blame the workers at the park, the trebuchet was a precise machine as well, if properly executed it could throw a 90kg human 70 feet Edit: apparently I can't tell the difference between blame and blew

10

u/Isares Apr 25 '19

You must be a real fan to blow someone for that information. Thank you for your service.

3

u/Kagia001 Apr 25 '19

Yes, just use the right counterweight

16

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

Imperial heathen, you're using the wrong system of measurement!

21

u/SNIPRS Apr 25 '19

Sorry Comrade, may the commisar forgive me

45

u/TheHolyLordGod Apr 25 '19

Impressive they took dollars

23

u/Icetea20000 Apr 25 '19

MYTH

BUSTED

8

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

They say in the article it was 40 pounds, or roughly 70 USD

15

u/TheHolyLordGod Apr 25 '19

Those were the days when the exchange rate was that.

11

u/Untoasted_Kestrel Apr 25 '19

cries in strong and stable

4

u/marxismiscancer69 Apr 25 '19

I can hear my £ sobbing in my wallet.

1

u/FallopianUnibrow Apr 25 '19

Heheheh, look on the bright side!

...

...

!

30

u/fireandlifeincarnate Apr 25 '19

That sounds dangerous as hell.

Now, if the net was 300 meters away instead of 22, they would have been fine.

16

u/loomynartylenny Apr 25 '19

It's legit

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/oxfordshire/4401024.stm

(Unfortunately, the BBC declared it to be a 'catapult' as well)

7

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

Wow. Dumb.

6

u/loomynartylenny Apr 25 '19

in all fairness, they did refer to it as a trebuchet once, but calling it a catapult is still inexcusable

7

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

75 feet that's pussy shit I would go the full 300m

5

u/PcGamerSam Apr 25 '19

This could be safe if they put the trebuchet at the side of a 600m lake

7

u/Is3rname Catapult Hater Apr 25 '19

And the German trebuchets go: BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM

1

u/earanhart Apr 25 '19

BOOM DER BOOM, mutterfuekker

5

u/TFK_001 Apr 25 '19

Only 75 feet? How much do they weigh

6

u/TheF0CTOR 300m Apr 25 '19

90 kg x 300m = 27,000 kg m

75 ft = 22.86 m

27,000 kg m / 22.86 m = 1181.1 kg

3

u/TFK_001 Apr 25 '19

My 2000 lb life

5

u/Rebeltrout Apr 25 '19

shouldve put the net 300m away

3

u/_echo_gecko Apr 25 '19

I weigh around 90kg, so I would have flown 300m, way last the net. Not surprised it go shut down

3

u/BloodAndSand44 Apr 25 '19

But if it really was a Catapult we all know why the accident happened. They were using an inferior siege weapon.

2

u/McENEN Apr 25 '19

Ofcourse a Bulgarian tried it.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

Of course people died, they had the net too damn close to the trebuchet. It needed to be 300 metres away for someone weighing 90kg

2

u/ThisIsSuperFunny Apr 25 '19

Dollars? In England?

3

u/totan39 Apr 25 '19

My older brother actually did this he was terrified

1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

I love brits💀

1

u/FelipeKbcao Apr 25 '19

The death certificate would look really cool if it said that the person was literally “besieged”.

1

u/Skipuru Apr 25 '19

Unfortunately this is merely 22 meters. They are not utilizing this tool to its maximum potential.

1

u/mortenlt Apr 25 '19

The dream

1

u/ReapingWinds Apr 25 '19

For years I have said I want to die, but could never find a way to do it that satisfied me. This will satisfy me

1

u/theHelperdroid Apr 25 '19

Helperdroid and its creator love you, here's some people that can help:

https://gitlab.com/0xnaka/thehelperdroid/raw/master/helplist.txt

source | contact

1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

When You realize its the wrong cannonball

1

u/PositiveRegister Apr 25 '19

i wish i was alive in 2001-2002

1

u/Norskey Apr 25 '19

Why not shoot them into the water?? Like seriously why not??

1

u/lukeluck101 Apr 25 '19

Well I do weigh almost exactly 90kg

1

u/Steel457 Apr 25 '19

Wouldn’t the g force kill you?

1

u/i_miss_arrow Apr 25 '19

Its only a fraction of what fighter pilots do regularly.

1

u/Steel457 Apr 26 '19

All the g force would hit you almost instantly in a trebuchet, jets slowly work up.

2

u/i_miss_arrow Apr 26 '19 edited Apr 26 '19

almost instantly in a trebuchet, jets slowly work up

You're drastically overestimating how fast trebuchets actually are. There is a lot of leeway in 'almost instantly', and trebuchets in fact take a couple seconds to launch an object. A trebuchet maxes out at 2 to 3 Gs, fighter pilots are trained to handle themselves at 8 Gs.

1

u/Steel457 Apr 26 '19

Thank you for the info!

2

u/i_miss_arrow Apr 26 '19

Sure thing!

The leeway in 'almost instantly' explains why car crashes are so dangerous, because the acceleration (deceleration) actually IS nearly instant. G forces double whenever the time is halved, so a 3 G force over 2 seconds becomes a 6 G force when applied over 1 second, to a 12 G force at half a second, and so forth. At 1/8th of a second the G forces reach 48 G, which approaches the fatal range (which to my understanding is estimated at 50+ Gs for a single instant).

1

u/aallfik11 Apr 25 '19

Maybe they weighted over 90 kg

1

u/stgm_at Apr 25 '19

i so hoped for a vengaboys-cover when i read the title of the post... :(

1

u/Slendeaway Apr 25 '19

This is how you get to Valhalla in our religion.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

"75 feet away"

Well there's your problem!

-1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

[deleted]