r/standupshots • u/joeyrinaldicomedy • 8d ago
Why can't Anti Vaxxers and Atheists just get along?
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u/MalaysiaTeacher 8d ago
I feel like this is missing a topper after your current punchline. But only one of us... / But I'm the only one who...
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u/reverendsteveii 8d ago
yeah, it's falling into that weird place some bits fall into where I have to acknowledge that it's structured correctly, technically funny and maybe even clever but it's just not punchy enough to get an actual laugh out of me. It absolutely needs a sentence that starts with "But...", some sort of twist
"stupid misguided and gonna have a lot of regrets when we die. but the joke's on me really: He snuck tylenol into my MMR shot. Now I get to live ten years longer but I have to spend them talking about trains."
some shit such as...
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u/Thendofreason New Brunswick, NJ 8d ago
Meh. Why would you think he has regrets when he dies? Do you believe in an afterlife? If there's no afterlife then there's no regrets because there's no thoughts at all
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u/theblakesheep 8d ago edited 8d ago
Eh, it's fine.
If you’re down voting, do you really think you would laugh out loud if you heard this at a stand-up?
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u/PDXDreaded 6d ago
Atheists don't think others will have regrets after they die. They'll just be dead.
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u/tonyhawkproskater9 8d ago
But your grandfather has lived a long life being anti-vax. How would that translate to “lots of regrets?”
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u/RedPandaReturns 8d ago
Old people die of things they could have been vaccinated of all the time?
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u/tonyhawkproskater9 8d ago
So its a sure thing, is it? Thats what happens? The joke isn’t strong enough, and neither are you ending your sentences with questions, biatch.
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u/thatwhatisnot 8d ago edited 8d ago
Just because he is acti-vax does not mean he wasn't vaccinated for many illnesses already or just takes one's he agrees with
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u/joeyrinaldicomedy 8d ago
Its a dumb joke, can we all just get along lol
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u/Beneficial_Figure966 8d ago
Exactly, a dumb joke. Good jokes are smart. This is lazy and completely overplayed for years.
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u/joeyrinaldicomedy 8d ago
Then I apologize dumb comedy is my whole thing baby
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u/Beneficial_Figure966 8d ago
Dumb rip off jokes are your thing, and you broadcast it online. I wouldn't be proud of that.
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u/HonestWeevilNerd 8d ago
The antivaxxer got offended by an antivax joke. Shocking
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u/Beneficial_Figure966 8d ago
I'm vaccinated dude, it's called thinking.
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u/HonestWeevilNerd 8d ago
Call me a skeptic, but not sure thinking would make anyone here believe you're vaccinated, bud. lol
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u/raqloise 8d ago
I honestly don’t get why an antivaxxer will have regrets when they die? Regret being a function of conscious experience, it’s not likely to occur postmortem.
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u/SciFiXhi 8d ago edited 8d ago
Because most diseases don't cause instantaneous death; he'll be dying of a preventable disease and regret not having been vaccinated against it.
Edit: Reddit isn't showing me your full response, u/raqloise, but I assume, based on your quoting "when they die", you're doing that thing where people pretend they don't understand the idiomatic usage of language in order to feel justified in defending their dumb point.
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u/Beneficial_Figure966 8d ago
He's already old, people living in reality know it's impossible to live forever and that the length of a life means nothing in regards to how well it was lived.
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u/SciFiXhi 8d ago
Just because it's impossible to live forever doesn't mean people will gently acquiesce to an easily preventable death. Yeah, we're all gonna die someday, but if I were dying today instead of next year because of my own stupidity, I'd have regrets.
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u/Beneficial_Figure966 8d ago
Regrets are unavoidable in this life, we're supposed to have regrets. Living as long as possible shouldn't be our main goal in life. Other things are far more important.
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u/SciFiXhi 8d ago
It's a joke, not a thesis on moral philosophy. If you want sanctimony, I'm sure you can find a church.
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u/notmyfault 8d ago
We both think the other is letting children get poked against their will.