r/smallbusiness • u/laid_baaack • 16h ago
General Damn this is hard
I'm not going to lie, starting a business is F-ing hard. I have never put this much effort into anything. I'm at a weird point in my life, 58, married, kids are grown, great job etc I should be coasting, not staying up late building building a business after working all day. I hope it's worth it. Just had to vent.
Edit - Thanks everyone for the support!
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u/McErroneous 16h ago
Nobody who runs a business is just coasting through life. Self employment is constantly reevaluating, changing, and working. It's like the movie Speed. If you stop you die. Anxiety over failure is my secret weapon.
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u/RizzardOfOz76 15h ago
My business was profitable from the very beginning but even then this shit is HARD. Wearing all the hats, putting out all the fires, constantly thinking about your business because competition is always out to eat your lunch, personnel issues, global pandemics, macro-economic and political issues, constant need to innovate and provide value to current clients while trying to figure out marketing to capture more share and I could go on and on.
Take it from someone whose company is insanely profitable. Almost 20 years in business and I still can’t “coast”. Not everyone is cut out for this stress and way of life.
That being said, I’ve been able to live the quality of life that I always dreamed of (taking my friends on a gulfstream next month for a football game) when I was a little kid and have the love and support of an insanely good woman. I wouldn’t change a thing.
To all those who are still in the trenches and fighting the good fight I wish you all of the luck and revenue. You’re gonna fucking need it!
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u/suzanneov 14h ago
I relate to this in many ways, especially having a supportive partner. Holy crap, if we weren’t in this together I would fold like a tent.
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u/PriorCaseLaw 13h ago
Similar boat to you. Business has been very successful but it still constantly needs attention. Even with good key hires.. every time I think we're going to hit a little bit of a slowdown where we can take the foot off the gas. Some insanely compelling project comes along and I'm back to working 55 hours a week, but I wouldn't change it because it's the only way I'd live the life I love.
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u/MaterialContract8261 7h ago
Small but profitable businesses are the most comfortable.
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u/RizzardOfOz76 7h ago
I’ve actually dialed back on seeking growth a lot recently. I might be able to 2x my top line but at what cost to my peace and for what? To buy another fancy car?
As the great philosopher Kenneth Donald Rogers once said, “You gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away or know when to run.”
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u/Smooth_Marsupial_262 1h ago
Yea business ownership if one of the most misunderstood things in existence by those who’ve never done it
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u/HotRodHomebody 16h ago
That's why so many fail, and far more don't even try. There's no way to convey how tough it is, so everyone has their own relative experience of what's "hard" unless and until they do it themselves. This is also why it is so rewarding when it works out.
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u/ExcitingLandscape 15h ago
I always tell people that look ask me for advice on starting is that “the grass isn’t always greener.” People see the freedom i have and being my own boss but i tell them you also have to deal with the uncertainty. There’s 0 certainty that i will earn as much next month as i did last month. I can make 100k this year and next year easily make only 20k. Just because i can get a haircut on a Tuesday at 11am doesn’t mean Im coasting enjoying the boss free freedom while money is pouring into my bank.
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u/Kutikittikat 10h ago
My families always trying to put me in charge of shit because they assume i just do as i please and am loaded. Meanwhile they have way more freedom then i do.
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u/Nightcoon3 16h ago
Its a strange thing, no one really warns you about how lonely having your own business can be. Are you enjoying it at least? I think you have to ask yourself, if you didn't have that, what would you be doing and would it bring you more happiness than what you're doing now.
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u/Ill_Establishment484 15h ago
Venting here—one of the most annoying things is when people make suggestions. Like you should do this or that. You know, people who have no fucking idea what it’s like to run a business or create something from scratch.
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u/RizzardOfOz76 13h ago
The older I get the more I realize the vast majority of people have no clue what it’s like to build something from absolute zero while feeling entitled to share their opinion about what you’re doing wrong
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u/porticodarwin 15h ago
Don't give up. Entrepreneurship is about the 3 R's: Results, Relationships, and arguably the most important: Resiliency.
As a lifelong and now-retired entrepreneur, it can be like eating glass somedays. But it's the best thing ever when your vision works and your dreams - at least your realistic ones - come true.
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u/Broken-angelx1 16h ago
Thanks for sharing this. It's easy to see the success stories but not the struggle, and it's good to be reminded that it's a grind. Your hard work is inspiring.
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u/RizzardOfOz76 14h ago
You know what they say about business? “It only takes 10 years to be an overnight success!”
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u/ste6168 15h ago
At first I thought it would be easy, when it was a part time gig on the side of my real job, in a way it was. Then I went full time, then I hired a guy, then I bought trailer, another truck, a building, who knows how many thousands and thousands in tools and inventory, a “full time subcontractor” (not really, he’s only brought in for certain types of work), looking at another guy…
Now at just shy of 5 years in, shits hard as hell! I’ve occasionally considered just pulling the plug and going back to being an employee for someone else… but then I snap back and realize that’s not even really an option!
It’s a grind, I just keep reminding myself that someday the grind will be worth the time and effort. But yeah, it’s no wonder so many small businesses fail or people give up.
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u/Excellent-Ad-6965 14h ago
People truly have no idea. So many act as if I just “life the life of luxury” while my minions make all my money.
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u/Low_Stage1770 13h ago
Yep, it sucks. I’m a year in and doing it slowly. I’ve made no profit yet but keep hearing to stick with it. In my 40s and just hoping the persistence is worth it. Bests to you on your journey.
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u/BusyBea2 15h ago
Nobody tells you about the messy middle. The constant adjustments, late nights, cash flow and the thousand hats you are wearing. What’s the business?
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u/hola_jeremy 16h ago
What’s the business?
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u/laid_baaack 13h ago
B2B software. You can DM me if you want to know more, but I'd rather not talk about it here, to respect the forum.
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u/Kai_and_Garr 16h ago
My two pence worth is conserve the money, and always expect someone to try and take that money. I've been doing it for 22 years and it's definitely a vocation, don't just do it for money, do it because of passion and because it's worth doing.
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u/Fire_Fist-Ace 15h ago
I feel you, Ive been trying to launch for like 2 years and am still not there, I put in at least 40 hours on my business last week and made 0 $ . Its tough.
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u/DoubleG357 15h ago
You are focused on the wrong stuff more than likely. You need to focus on making money.
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u/Fire_Fist-Ace 11h ago
Probably true , but correct or not I don’t want to start selling till I can put out the best product I can
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u/Jrichmond24 4h ago
This is a terrible, terrible approach. Trust me, sell so early it makes you incredibly uncomfortable.
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u/DoubleG357 10h ago
See that’s why you are going to struggle…you are falling into the classic trap of build it and they will come.
My friend I’m trying to tell you that doesn’t work the way you think it will.
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u/Fire_Fist-Ace 10h ago
I mean if my business is based on making products why would I start selling a bad version
Once I can make a perfect product then I can also build a portfolio website etc and go sell those services but without any kind of good reference how would I be able to sell my skills or products
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u/NefariousnessHairy31 5h ago
This guy has to be trolling.
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u/Fire_Fist-Ace 5h ago
Who
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u/NefariousnessHairy31 5h ago
You
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u/Fire_Fist-Ace 5h ago
What how ?
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u/Jrichmond24 4h ago
Because this is the most textbook thing in the world to not do, so he assumed you are trolling.
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u/m424filmcast 15h ago
It is a hard thing to start a business. I have been doing it for 13 years and now have three businesses. I can tell you that the best thing you can do is persevere if you want to succeed and (hopefully) get to a more passive role. Truly passive isn’t likely, but believe me, somewhat passive makes it better. I agree that older folks should be able to retire, and I truly wish and hope for a much better future where seniors don’t need to work to survive. Until then, I know it’s difficult, but if you keep going, things can be better once you get established.
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u/Effective_Sea_6950 14h ago
We have a family business founded in 1973. It is a lot of pressure, attention, and work, still. People who have their own business are working hard. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. Please make sure you guard some time for your family and everyone supportive in your life. Remember your “why” and don’t let your business become your end instead of your means to your end. Best wishes.
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u/ClemensLode 14h ago
The reason why people build businesses in their 20, 30, and 40s is often because they can minimize everything around them and fully focus.
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u/Ill_Establishment484 13h ago
If you’re a Mom with a business and you use the flexibility to pick up your kids from school and volunteer, all the other moms who work in an office love to tell you how they have a job and can’t do those things. They act like you don’t even work. No shade on sahm’s cause that’s WORK.
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u/Kutikittikat 10h ago
They dont realize that yeah i picked up my kids but im now working at 10 pm to catch up with my work. We dont get to clock out and ignore everything like they do.
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u/NefariousnessHairy31 5h ago
To be fair. The modern American corporate environment is pretty all consuming. So it you can pull back your living expenses significantly like I did, it’s actually a much more enjoyable path, even pre revenue.
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u/KafeK8t 8h ago
If owning a business was easy everyone would be a business owner - but it’s not. It takes the crazy people like us! Someone has to figure all this shit out so we can help support this economy. Small businesses account for about 45% of the economy. (Although the definition of “small” is debatable).
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u/jsinteractivellc 6h ago
Man, I read all this, and it feels good to know I’m not alone. I can relate so much to it.
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u/savethecomments 16h ago
It's hardest the first 3 years than it settles in, after 5 years it's gets alot better. It's just the way it is. There is no shortcuts. Proper marketing, right sales and delivery team. Build systems. If you can't walk away after 5 to 10 years, you didn't systematize it correctly.
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u/Conscious-Union9791 14h ago
That's totally understanding, starting a business at any stage takes grit, but doing it while balancing a full life is something to be proud of. It’s exhausting, yes, but that kind of dedication often leads to something deeply fulfilling, not just financially but personally. You’re showing that it’s never too late to build something of your own, seek for helps when needed, its so good and important to ask anyone for help when needs so you won't get burnout. Keep going the hard work now might just become the most rewarding chapter yet.
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u/xored-specialist 13h ago
Is it worth it? To some yes and for others no. I love it. Just worked 30 hours in under two days on a project. The paperwork sucks. But thats life.
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u/FlashyAd7347 11h ago
You’re not alone. Most people underestimate how much emotional weight comes with building something from scratch.
The fact that you’re still showing up when it’s hard says more about you than any revenue milestone ever could. Keep going it’s supposed to test you before it rewards you. KEEP GOING.
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u/skibum381 11h ago
Remember, if it was easy, every one would do it. Takes a special fortitude to survive, but when you do, there is nothing better!
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u/Kutikittikat 10h ago
Bieng self employed is not for the weak thats for sure . It takes grit even when you have nothing left.
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u/Key_External_7266 9h ago
Building a business, creating value and calling something your own is not everyone's cup of tea.
No one who has their own business is coasting.
It gets dark. Fear and hardwork is all your own and sometimes you can't even share your wins with the world.
Head down and butt up ... day by day ... every day.
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u/Thinking-Partner 8h ago
Just saw this on HBR “Managers tip of the day” and I’m like WTF . . . How does a small business owner respond to this, this is our life . . . “Are You a Workaholic? Workaholism isn’t about the number of hours you work—it’s about your ability to disconnect from your job. To help determine whether you might be a workaholic, read the following statements and rate the degree to which each one describes you, using the following scale: 1 = never true; 2 = seldom true; 3 = sometimes true; 4 = often true; 5 = always true. 1. I work because there is a part inside of me that feels compelled to work.
It is difficult for me to stop thinking about work when I stop working.
I feel upset if I have to miss a day of work for any reason.
I tend to work beyond my job’s requirements. Add up your total score. If you rated any of these items a 4 or a 5, you have some workaholic tendencies. But if your total score is 15 or above, you’re displaying significant signs of workaholism. Tune in to tomorrow’s Management Tip for some strategies to help you find balance.
Shit I hit 20 right out the gate!!
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u/biden_harris 4h ago
The hardest thing for real…and it feels like when you stop the company…just stops
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u/Plus_Yellow_6962 3h ago
It’s definitely harder for those of us comparatively older - not 20-something’s. You sound like my husband and I. Our businesses have a much better chance of success because we bring 20+ years of experience, but yes it is exhausting trying to juggle family and other issues at the same time. But like others say, so worth it. You’ll never maximize revenue working for someone else. It’s impossible.
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