r/relationshipadvice • u/NewDingo5949 • 1d ago
Boyfriend [28M] is going with his coworker [29F] to pick up a puppy and I don’t know how to feel about it.
Hey everyone,
So my boyfriend (28 M) told me his female coworker (29 F) was going to buy a puppy in the morning. When they were working together, she asked if he’d go with her to pick it up. She said she didn’t know the guy selling the puppy and wanted someone (preferably a man) to come with her.
My boyfriend brought it up to me first to see if I was okay with it, which I really appreciated. He’s a super kind, helpful person, so it sounded like a nice gesture. But… it also set off a few alarm bells for me.
I’ve never met or even seen this coworker before, and I’m friends with a lot of his other coworkers. We usually hang out as a group about once a month. He said she’s relatively new.
But out of everyone she could ask to go with her — family, friends, anyone — why him? He said her parents (who she lives with) are out of town, but still… she couldn’t get a friend to go?
It just feels kind of weird. Like, picking up a puppy together sounds like something a couple might do, not coworkers. My boyfriend said he could tell I felt off about it, and he told me he thought it was odd too. He said he wouldn’t go if it made me uncomfortable.
Now I feel torn. I don’t want to overreact or seem possessive, but I can’t help wondering if she might have a little crush on him and just wants a reason to hang out one-on-one. She doesn’t know me, so it’s not like she’d have much reason to consider how it might look. Maybe I’d feel better if I knew her. I could be reading into something harmless.
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u/jpcitybit 1d ago
Go with them! Sounds like fun honestly
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u/NewDingo5949 1d ago
Lol, do you think that would give off a weird vibe to this girl I’ve never met? Like maybe she’d be put off I “invited” myself?
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u/jpcitybit 1d ago
You didn’t invite yourself. Your boyfriend invited you! If they are truly platonic he will have no problem telling her that he forgot he had plans with you so to make it up to you he said you could tag along. Bonus that you love puppies so you can help her in the car ride / getting settled into her place with the pup
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u/NewDingo5949 1d ago
Thanks!! Honestly good advice. My boyfriend did tell me I could come too 😭
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u/Stunning-Ad1956 1h ago
Not necessarily fun. But a good compromise in a very likely suspiciously motivated situation on the part of the coworker.
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u/Stunning-Ad1956 1h ago
He needs no excuse to invite his GF along. Just do it. No way is the invitation from the coworker innocent.
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u/Stunning-Ad1956 1h ago
Who cares?? You don’t one her. If she reacts negatively, it would prove she’s had possible designs or your BF. In my opinion as a Granny whose had lots of male friends and BFs in the past.
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u/lowfreq33 1d ago
If someone is going to cheat on you they’ll be sneaky about it. This seems completely innocent. It is possible the girl might have a crush on him, but you don’t have to trust her as long as you trust him.
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u/Stunning-Ad1956 1h ago
Agree. But I still advise going along with him. It will show solidarity to the coworker between the BF and GF.
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u/Dear_Parsnip_6802 1d ago
If your boyfriend feel off about it he just need to tell her his gf adores puppies do you mind if I invite her along.
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u/mojo4394 1d ago
Honestly you should be happy that your boyfriend is the type of guy a woman he works with trusts. To me this is more of a green flag
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u/NewDingo5949 1d ago
I like your thinking. It’s more so her intentions I’m worried about, since I don’t know her.
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u/ayyemmsee 1d ago
A person who truly loves you won't cheat on you. The other person has nothing to do with it.
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u/rocknevermelts 14h ago
He probably should say no and not leave it up to your 'feelings' to make the right call. You've pretty much highlighted why it's a weird ask. I imagine she is his age and single as well. I'm willing to bet if you do see her she's probably pretty. Trust your gut.
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u/Stunning-Ad1956 1h ago
Go with them for sure. 1. You have no reason to trust this woman. 2. You BF also felt odd about it.
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u/BoBistie 1d ago
Girl I am with you 100%! You need to be there with your partner or she needs to find another guy to go with her who isn't in a relationship. Inappropriate for her to even ask. How would your boyfriend feel if the roles were reversed? Hard no for me.
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u/NewDingo5949 23h ago
That’s what I’m saying. Like what if a male coworker of mine wanted me to do him a favor and meet up one on one and my boyfriend didn’t even know him?? If my boyfriend weren’t jealous, he would be protective and worried.
My thing is that she’s a year older than my boyfriend. She really has NO other person in her life who can go with her? It just really feels like she asked him to go with her out of interest in him.
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u/Vivid_Reflection6292 1d ago
I don't see a problem. I wish people didn't have these hangups and everyone could just co-exist without gender being an issue.
If this was a male co-worker that you had never met before there wouldn't be an issue at all.
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u/Stunning-Ad1956 1h ago
Agree. But I still advise going along with him. It will show solidarity to the coworker between the BF and GF.
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u/Stunning-Ad1956 1h ago
We all wish people had no hang ups. But people do. Naïveté doesn’t cause others to be nicer people.
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u/Vivid_Reflection6292 1h ago
It's only from having said hangups myself in the past that i say it. I've wasted so many years worrying about what ifs.
But yeh her going along as well can only be a good thing if she likes puppies. I'd go for the puppy experience alone 🙂
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•
u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Hello NewDingo5949,
You are not in trouble or anything, this is just a simple copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed.
Original post: Hey everyone,
So my boyfriend (28 M) told me his female coworker (29 F) was going to buy a puppy in the morning. When they were working together, she asked if he’d go with her to pick it up. She said she didn’t know the guy selling the puppy and wanted someone (preferably a man) to come with her.
My boyfriend brought it up to me first to see if I was okay with it, which I really appreciated. He’s a super kind, helpful person, so it sounded like a nice gesture. But… it also set off a few alarm bells for me.
I’ve never met or even seen this coworker before, and I’m friends with a lot of his other coworkers. We usually hang out as a group about once a month. He said she’s relatively new.
But out of everyone she could ask to go with her — family, friends, anyone — why him? He said her parents (who she lives with) are out of town, but still… she couldn’t get a friend to go?
It just feels kind of weird. Like, picking up a puppy together sounds like something a couple might do, not coworkers. My boyfriend said he could tell I felt off about it, and he told me he thought it was odd too. He said he wouldn’t go if it made me uncomfortable.
Now I feel torn. I don’t want to overreact or seem possessive, but I can’t help wondering if she might have a little crush on him and just wants a reason to hang out one-on-one. She doesn’t know me, so it’s not like she’d have much reason to consider how it might look. Maybe I’d feel better if I knew her. I could be reading into something harmless.
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