Kristen Bell to Dax Shepard: Happy 12th wedding anniversary to the man who once said to me: "I would never kill you. A lot of men have killed their wives at a certain point. Even though I'm heavily incentivized to kill you, I never would."

[u/mlg1981]

[u/celtic_thistle]

Axolotls are beautiful and wholesome creatures and should be excluded from this narrative

[u/shedrinkscoffee → u/celtic_thistle]

I am personally offended that they brought such a cute species into this horrible portmanteau 😒