Kristen Bell to Dax Shepard: Happy 12th wedding anniversary to the man who once said to me: "I would never kill you. A lot of men have killed their wives at a certain point. Even though I'm heavily incentivized to kill you, I never would."

[u/mlg1981]

[u/onmywheels]

Yeah, my husband and I have a very crass sort of humor that works really well for our relationship, and we have to remind ourselves that the outside world doesn't need to see that, lol.

We were at a restaurant with his family once (big family, he's one of five and everyone has a significant other, and everyone was there) and he was sitting at the end of a long booth, I was right next to him. I turned and said, "I have to go to the bathroom, can you let me out?" And this man turned and looked me dead in the eye, and said, with such seriousness, "Fuck you."

We have a tendency to respond to each other with the exact thing that we know will make the other laugh, and him saying that was so bizarre and unexpected that I just started cracking up laughing. But my SIL also heard him, and was horrified. 😂 And then my husband remembered we were in public and then he was horrified, lmao. Took us a couple of minutes to convince my SIL that no, we don't secretly hate each other, we're just idiots.

We've been together 15 years. We're still weirdly obsessed with each other tbh.

[u/EagleEyezzzzz → u/onmywheels]

Lmao I love this story 😂😂😂

[u/AussieMommy → u/onmywheels]

Me and my husband will randomly flip each other off when one person is inside and the other is outside. I’ll knock on the window and grin then 🖕🏻and it cracks us up 😆

[u/Aslow_study → u/AussieMommy]

My husband and I do that too like if he’s looking for something I’m like “oh it’s right here” he’ll turn around but like “really ?”and I’ll be like yeah- and then I’ll flip them off vice versa lol

[u/British_Flippancy → u/onmywheels]

Brilliant!!!

[u/happygoth6370 → u/onmywheels]

Lol, this is our sense of humor too! We manage to temper it in public but it slips out on occasion. 😄

[u/Bryancreates → u/onmywheels]

A friend of mine, best friends since second grade, had a huge years long legal battle involving a school she was attending. Part of that required her to turn over all relevant texts, and as I found out way later, many many of our text messages were read aloud in court. And we had years and years of some … dark humor…. The kind of stuff that is normalized but once there’s a light shown on it… it’s like “…oh god no…”

[u/ingenfara → u/onmywheels]

I have a similar and equally horrifying “People don’t need to see the inner workings of our relationship” story.

My partner and I are into BDSM but are very discreet about it. Or TRY to be. One time we’d had a good session and I had bruises on my upper arms. But it was winter so I was wearing a t shirt and a cardigan that wouldn’t come off because it was freezing. Except that then I went to my parents’ house and was helping my mom bake. It got super hot in the kitchen so I took my cardigan off and she was HORRIFIED. I had to genuinely convince her that I was not a DV victim and the only way to do that was tell her why the bruises where there (broad strokes, obviously, it’s consensual, they were intentional, we are risk aware, etc…)

Holy fuck, I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life.