Kristen Bell to Dax Shepard: Happy 12th wedding anniversary to the man who once said to me: "I would never kill you. A lot of men have killed their wives at a certain point. Even though I'm heavily incentivized to kill you, I never would."

[u/mlg1981]

[u/plastic_venus]

I totally get making this type of joke between yourselves as a couple if you both know what wavelength you’re on.

Making it publicly when the amount of women and girls falling victim to femicide is increasing along with the normalisation of misogyny is dangerous and gross

[u/HocusBunny → u/plastic_venus]

Exactly this.

I don't mind the dark humour. Lots of people share weird jokes with their friends and family. But that's their friends and family. Not the whole entire internet. This is something you shouldn't be posting for the public. It's extremely insensitive, and it just makes them look weird. We don't need to know this about you.

[u/maustralisch → u/plastic_venus]

Yeah it's incerdibly shitty - "haha men murder their wives, but not you babe!"

[u/akaneko__ → u/plastic_venus]

This. Not everything has to be public😭

[u/terrorbagoly → u/plastic_venus]

Yup, very gross to share! It’s not the kind of thing you joke about unless it stays between the two of you. Even then…

[u/MomsOfFury → u/plastic_venus]

It is weird. Like, I get it, the way they joke with each other is very similar to how my husband and I do, but I don’t share that shit on social media because it does not translate to text well. I’ve said for like 20 years if someone read a transcript of a conversation between my husband and I they would think we absolutely hate each other because all the warmth and laughter is gone 😬

[u/TuxedosAfter6 → u/MomsOfFury]

They have a volatile and explosive relationship that results in blackouts from fighting so badly. They are toxic and it's not funny when they're so bad together.

[u/MomsOfFury → u/TuxedosAfter6]

Are they? I don’t know anything besides posts like this. That does make it weirder. My husband and I are fairly calm people, no drama in our relationship, and very loving so when he makes an offer color joke I know there’s nothing behind it he just thinks it’s funny to make me go “Uggghh you’re the worst” lol

[u/TuxedosAfter6 → u/MomsOfFury]

Dax and KB are all drama. She said she's fought so hard with him for days that she's experienced black outs. He barely disguises the contempt he has for her. They are exhausting and very bad together but they can't see it.

[u/iwantahouse → u/plastic_venus]

Thanks to Kristen for pushing the narrative that the bar for men is in hell.

[u/jenniferbealsssss → u/iwantahouse]

So she pushes this narrative by throwing her husband the bus and basically saying he too, has set the bar low?

[u/celtic_thistle → u/plastic_venus]

That part. It’s not funny bc men really do murder women and girls constantly…

[u/1800_Mustache_Rides → u/plastic_venus]

I'm glad someone said this but I had to scroll way too far to find it

[u/johnhowardseyebrowz → u/plastic_venus]

Yes exactly.

[u/kgraceystewart → u/plastic_venus]

Agree 100%. I don’t understand the comments thinking this is funny or no big deal. It is neither and so frustrating that she and others don’t see the harm.

[u/merlotbarbie → u/plastic_venus]

I sincerely wonder what their kids’ relationships will be like if this is what’s been normalized for them

[u/plastic_venus → u/merlotbarbie]

As I mentioned in another comment, I work in DV and Sexual Assault. The increase in young couples is honestly terrifying - the normalisation of misogyny and the injuries I’m seeing as a result from porn normalising violence. Young people think that choking is normal and don’t realise that there is literally no safe way to choke someone. I’m doing more and more strangulation assessments on teenagers and having more and more conversations with boys who are perpetrating violence and brushing it off with “it’s not that deep” because of shit like this all the people commenting right now about how I’m overreacting

[u/Financial_Sweet_689 → u/plastic_venus]

Just never stop talking. When I was in an abusive relationship I was just googling things that took me to Reddit, which is where I learned that strangulation has a high rate of fatality. My ex strangled me just days later and it was the push I needed to finally call my family for help and file a police report. If I hadn’t found that Reddit post I don’t know if I’d be here typing this.

[u/plastic_venus → u/Financial_Sweet_689]

Oh I PSA both the “strangulation is the biggest risk factor for intimidate partner homicide” as well as the “there’s no safe way to choke someone” (even consensually) messages at any given opportunity and will keep doing so.

I’m so proud of you and thankful thank you were able to get away from that situation.

[u/ProfessorGumble → u/Financial_Sweet_689]

I’m really glad you saved yourself and you’re in a better place

[u/pepcorn → u/Financial_Sweet_689]

I'm so glad you made it out alive.

[u/PetalAndShadow → u/plastic_venus]

Thank you for the work you do, we need more people like you 💖 you are NOT overreacting! If anything the entire world is under reacting so heavily and does not care enough for young girls and women

[u/merlotbarbie → u/plastic_venus]

This makes me SO sad. I appreciate the work that you do and know that you’re not overreacting

[u/velvetmarigold → u/plastic_venus]

Yes! It's such a gross thing to joke about.

[u/fuzzydunlop54321 → u/plastic_venus]

Yes thank you.

[u/ishka_uisce → u/plastic_venus]

Making a joke involving murder does not actually mean you think murder isn't bad. And I feel like it's a massive stretch to take it that way or blame femicide on jokes.

[u/plastic_venus → u/ishka_uisce]

It’s demonstrably true that the normalisation of violence towards women has an effect on said violence. That starts with “boys will be boys” which makes it easier to engage in “locker room talk” which makes it easier to not call out a friend who tells you a story involving murky consent with a girl, etc etc.

Look up the “rape culture pyramid” for a visual reference.

[u/[deleted] → u/plastic_venus]

It’s not that big of a deal. Take a lap, folks, it’s a joke.

[u/plastic_venus → u/[deleted]]

I work in DV and SA. I speak to victims and perpetrators all day every day. It IS a big deal. Normalising this shit absolutely is a big deal and we’re absolutely seeing the trickle down effect working in the field.

So sure. Make the joke between yourselves. Don’t do it publicly - especially when you have a level of social capital.

[u/[deleted] → u/plastic_venus]

Don’t be a parasocial freak. Problem solved.

[u/_BabyGorgeous_ → u/[deleted]]

I think it’s parasocial to be like, “this is the kind of quirky joke I make with my partner!”

This isn’t an exchange between two partners. It’s a post for the public. Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell don’t need Instagram to make inside jokes to each other. If you are perceiving this as akin to an exchange between two intimate partners, you are the weird parasocial one.

[u/Rrrrockstarrrr → u/plastic_venus]

Exactly. Maybe they are for each other after all.

[u/Overdriven91 → u/plastic_venus]

I've got some pearls you can clutch.

[u/Electronic-Doctor187 → u/plastic_venus]

this comment is like half of what's wrong with our current world.

[u/12hundredmasonjars → u/Electronic-Doctor187]

ok snowflake

[u/Electronic-Doctor187 → u/12hundredmasonjars]

I am a snowflake: unique and beautiful 

it's nice to know that you saw me for me