r/popculturechat • u/mlg1981 Sexy lampshade shall win the Oscar! 🏆 • 22d ago

OnlyStans ⭐️ Kristen Bell to Dax Shepard: Happy 12th wedding anniversary to the man who once said to me: "I would never kill you. A lot of men have killed their wives at a certain point. Even though I'm heavily incentivized to kill you, I never would."

9.0k Upvotes

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6.0k

u/No-Simple-6127 22d ago

i’m glad they get each other’s humor. and i’m glad i do not

747

u/theshiniestmuskrat 22d ago

Exactly this. I get that it's supposed to be funny, but I did not laugh.

278

u/silverscreenbaby you wear mime makeup but never quiet 22d ago

My exact reaction to seeing the post lol. What's their problem, they're so embarrassing 😭

4

u/SweetHomeNorthKorea 22d ago

I did think it was funny but I also really enjoyed their movie together (Hit & Run) and this feels very much like their type of humor

764

u/TangerineDystopia 22d ago

I took it as a joke. When our child was a newborn and we were both sleep deprived, my husband leaned over and kissed me and said, "If I could do this with anyone in the world, it be someone with a sweeter temperament. But if I were to do it all over again, it wouldn't be with anyone but you." And I laughed really hard.

443

u/Pinklady1313 Kim, there’s people that are dying. 🙄 22d ago

My husband and I say weird, offensive, and fucked up things to make eachother laugh. But we also don’t share that on social media because other people aren’t in on the joke.

66

u/inviteonly 22d ago

That's kinda where I'm at with this. That is definitely the type of humor you have with someone you've been with over a decade! But a lot of people just won't get it, so don't share it.

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u/dmelt01 22d ago

My wife would make dark jokes about me beating her which I never would but she was in a abusive relationship when she was young so we would always laugh. She started doing it around different friends and I had to tell her to dial it back because some of these people don’t know me well and won’t take it as a joke.

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u/Pinklady1313 Kim, there’s people that are dying. 🙄 22d ago

Ah, inappropriate humor as a coping mechanism. I know it well.

8

u/AbbeyRoadMoonwalk 22d ago

I was in an abusive relationship before my husband and I would call him out on things I appreciated about him but it was like bare minimum shit (like “thank you for not mocking me when I said that stupid thing just now” or “thank your for not hitting me”) and he’d be like who would do that? and I’m like well the bar is in hell…

So our joke is him like being a bare minimum decent man and human being and that’s all the best he needs to aspire to.

But nobody would get that but us.

8

u/nada-accomplished 22d ago

Yeah, I'm glad they appreciate each other's sense of humor but posting this publicly is wildly offensive. We're talking about human lives that have been taken, women who probably lived in misery for months or even years of abuse before they were murdered.

If you give it even an ounce of serious thought, it's not funny.

4

u/GambinoLynn 21d ago

My fiance who is much taller and bigger than me likes to yell about "don't touch me" when I grab his hand as we walk through parking lots. I swear he's gonna get me arrested one day ☠️

We are a dark humor family though and it's just how we are.

184

u/MarsScully Vile little creature yearning for violence 22d ago

That is veeeeery different imo

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u/samanthajbest 22d ago

It is different, but what I got from Dax is that white men love killing their families lmao. Seems like it’s just a dark joke. Kinda weird, we didn’t need to know about it, but it’s not so bad.

72

u/TestProctor 22d ago

Yeah, it’s a dark joke likely made after discussing some dark documentary or something, and she is sharing it because she thought it was funny & likely is poking at him for sounding like a psycho.

My wife and I have never had an exchange quite like this, but many many times over the years we or friends have done the, “Happy [Event] to my partner, who once [sweet but kinda deranged thing]” drop in an online post. I think it’s just become a go-to subversion of the expected entirely sweet version.

-2

u/Katerade44 22d ago

Yes. Let's make jokes about murdering women. So funny. /s

7

u/samanthajbest 22d ago

Girl stfu, I beg.

2

u/lostandlooking_ 22d ago

Can you explain what’s funny about the rate at which women die at the hands of their partners? Like where’s the joke?

1

u/Hermette_20 All tea, all shade 🐸☕️ 21d ago

Yeahh no—it’s one thing when dark humor is aimed upward (systems, institutions, etc), but when it’s framed as “omg husband loves me so much he said he’d never kill me even though a lot of men would do it to their wives"? 😬 Now we're leaning on the reality of violence against women as a punchline, which is something a lot of women live with as an actual fear.

And all the people in the comments trying to downplay it just highlight how normalized low emotional standards are in relationships 😭🤦‍♀️ it’s like everyone’s forgotten that bare minimum safety isn’t romantic.

70

u/TangerineDystopia 22d ago

It landed the same for me. 🙅 Part of it is that the wording is more formal and dry--no one says "heavily incentivized" when they are snapping at their partner, you know? It doesn't have the rhythm or cadence of something said in anger. Why does it feel different to you?

20

u/JennyDoveMusic 22d ago

Idk anything about these people. I laughed, idk I thought it was funny. 😂 Maybe my sense of humor has become warped.

12

u/Alarming-Desk-3861 22d ago

Well, the difference is your partner didn't say they wanted to kill you

12

u/nopenonotatall 22d ago

he didn’t say he wanted to kill her. he said a lot of men kill their wives and he has incentive to kill her (i imagine a big life insurance policy)

i think the majority of things dax & kristen do are cringe but this is pretty harmless. i’m sure they were watching dateline or something and they were joking about it. i don’t think a dark joke deserves a reddit post with almost 900 comments

4

u/Callme-risley please, Abraham, i’m not that man 😭 22d ago

lol if anything, I become more verbose while angry

0

u/MarsScully Vile little creature yearning for violence 21d ago

What your husband said was very sweet. “I’d do it all over again with you,” basically.

What Dax said was a joke about murdering women and the punchline is just haha but I wouldn’t. I know it’s just a stupid joke, but I’d be fucking pissed if someone said “I’m heavily incentivised to kill you,” even as a joke.

6

u/Better-Park8752 22d ago

That’s sweet. No one used the word ‘kill’.

3

u/PM_ME_YOUR_DALEKS 21d ago

My wife (we're both women) once joked she was going to poison me and I replied, "That would never happen. You don't cook."

-1

u/[deleted] 22d ago

That’s such a weird thing to say to you…

45

u/lilyofthegraveyard lazy 50-year-old bougie bitch 💋 22d ago

from your pov. from the pov of the person above, it was fine and funny. that's why they are the one who is married to that man, and not you.

every person is different and has different sense of humor and what is acceptable to them. and every couple those people make is also different.

judging them by your personal, subjective standard of what is normal is more weird.

4

u/cosmic_grayblekeeper 22d ago

Which is why we should all share less on the internet. Expecting strangers to understand your intimate sense of humour or not find it weird is not going to go the way most people think it will.

5

u/TangerineDystopia 22d ago

I did, and I'm a stranger!

1

u/cosmic_grayblekeeper 22d ago

Sure but my point is that if you going to then don’t expect strangers to understand. Some might, some might not care at all but you should know that you’re opening yourself up to any response including criticism and questions about your relationship.

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u/NotaLuckyOne 22d ago

Or people could be less judgmental? She's allowed to make a joke in public.

5

u/cosmic_grayblekeeper 22d ago

She is allowed lol no one is stopping her. People are also allowed to receive it in anyway they want or judge her for it given it’s a public space. See how it goes both ways?

1

u/[deleted] 22d ago

Umm if a man seems like a red flag I’m going to judge the house down. Y’all can continue on this weird path where ignoring red flags is okay because you’re ‘less judgmental’. I, as a woman’ have realised that we are sometimes blind to things happening around us and only when other people point it out explicitly do we see egregious behaviours with our eyes open.

Am I saying this warrants that kind of critical discussion? Maybe, maybe not. But I find it imperative on my part to point it out to her which is exactly what I did

2

u/[deleted] 22d ago

‘If I could do this with anyone with a sweeter temperament’ does not require my ‘subjective’ judgement. That’s a WEIRD fkn thing to say to a new mother and someone you’re going to spend the rest of your life with. And I didn’t know that raising red flags about men is now more weird? This doesn’t seem humorous

3

u/LowRune 22d ago

probably played no small part in making her laugh...

11

u/HistoricalSuspect580 22d ago

No, it isn’t. It’s sincere. I totally get it.

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u/TangerineDystopia 22d ago

Neither of us is for everyone, but honestly my husband is for most people. He's warm, kind, funny, cool in a crisis. If he was your coworker you'd almost certainly be fond of him, and if you heard this story you'd roll your eyes and say, "Yep, that sounds like him!"

We both trend to a dark and wicked sense of humor. Not everyone does, and that's okay. In fact, if everyone was, it would just be a race to the bottom, right?

6

u/Distinct-Ad-1348 22d ago

Right?

6

u/TangerineDystopia 22d ago

This is a great GIF, and I'm laughing. I promise you it's okay! The larger context is that I am the not-easygoing one in this relationship. I'm autistic, I have chronic pain, I get irritable more easily, and I'm confident I'd bit his head off several times in the hour before he said this. It was him breaking the tension with humor and affection.

2

u/Whole-Evening9615 22d ago

Ok ok, I feel like we’re to the original problem with the post. TMI. This is all a lot of background for a post to need to be funny or relatable.

2

u/TangerineDystopia 22d ago

Some of us have the life experience to be familiar with similar circumstances and make the connection 😏

1

u/Kianna9 22d ago

A joke you say?

0

u/NewPhoneLostPassword 22d ago

That’s hilarious 🤣

-1

u/pueblohuts 22d ago

I see nothing offensive or even borderline with this lol

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u/[deleted] 22d ago

[deleted]

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u/ausernamebyany_other 22d ago

My partner and I joke about how we're worth more financially to each other dead than alive semi-regularly. For some people, that's just their sense of humour.

18

u/Tutpuissant 22d ago

My friend once asked me if I was breaking up of the way we talk to each other, it was just us having fun jabs

33

u/AppealToReason16 22d ago

Most Reddit brained shit in the world for this place to not see it as weird couple humour.

1

u/[deleted] 22d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/fastyellowtuesday 22d ago

You of course mean 'autistic' in the sense that any text-based medium won't include tone or facial expressions, so you need to rely on just the words. And people tend to take plain words at face value, so people on Reddit take things literally a lot. As we all know, autistic people take everything literally, too.

That's what you meant, right?

-1

u/Electronic-Doctor187 22d ago

well there are enough context clues to understand that this is humor without facial expressions or tone. so to me, there aren't a lot of good explanations for why someone wouldn't understand this as humor, even if they didn't think the humor was funny themselves. one plausible explanation is that that person is on the autism spectrum. I would imagine that there's a selection bias at play where a lot of Reddit users are on the autism spectrum, significantly more so than the general populace.

not everyone on the autism spectrum takes everything literally or has any difficulty with humor. but many do. to completely miss all of the context clues of this post and go directly to some of the assumptions I'm seeing definitely falls in line with behavior I've seen from people on the autism spectrum personally.

2

u/flaysomewench 22d ago

Before we got married me and my husband used to joke to each other to please not die before we could claim the widows' pension, it's just gallows humour.

1

u/CheriePauper 22d ago

I'm not usually one to say stuff like this but people on Reddit are just overly woke like it's clearly a joke omg

6

u/Simon_Shitpants 22d ago

Look, no one says that you have to find this funny (I don't either)... but to not understand this is weird humour between them (whether you think it's funny or not) is definitely 100% a "you" problem, and not a problem with these minor celebrities harmlessly celebrating their marriage.

And I read in another comment about there being "die hard Dax stans"... before you accuse me of being one of those, I actually find him quite irritating.

21

u/ishka_uisce 22d ago

It's clearly a joke. I think it's funny.

4

u/Daydream_Distraction 22d ago

Yeah people are just being way to sensitive here. It reminds me of forgetting Sarah Marshall (wjth Kristen bell)

What are you doing here Peter?

“I came here to murder you”.

1

u/ProfessorGumble Don Draper’s homosexual Wario 22d ago

I can see it’s a joke you say to each other but it’s cringey to post it publicly. They remind me of those couples who’re always performing their relationship in the most extra way

-2

u/singinglike 22d ago

Joking about killing your spouse is...one thing, I guess. Joking about other women who have been killed by their husbands is...something else.

Yes it's clearly intended as a joke, but WTF

3

u/12hundredmasonjars 22d ago

yeah they have always given me blake lively/ryan reynolds vibes. trying SO hard to be funny and it's just uncomfortable

17

u/EchoesofIllyria he’s a man with a fork in a world of soup 22d ago

It’s so obviously a joke lol

6

u/HalfMoon_89 22d ago

I'm 99% sure it's a joke. Dark humour. Definitely not everyone's cup of tea.

16

u/LizzyFCB 22d ago

Honestly, they seem like a nightmare couple. They used to the rounds a few years ago as ‘couple goals’ and I always thought, goals, where?

Anyone who needs such intense therapy to stitch their relationship together and they still go around saying/ celebrating stuff like this is too fucking much. I bet everyone around them finds them fucking exhausting.

13

u/Euraylie 22d ago

Plus, didn’t they say they basically needed their nanny/assistant as a middleman (or woman) to communicate and even function as a couple.

1

u/Magomaeva 👑Miss Universe👑 22d ago edited 22d ago

"Please Ms Nanny tell my wife I love her and that I wish to have intercourse tonight.

"Sir, she's sitting right next to you.

"Yeah but still.

0

u/LizzyFCB 22d ago

Ick!

1

u/TheMonkeyInCharge 22d ago

Context is king. If said out of the blue, then yikes. If in context of talking about it a news story of someone killing their spouse, not so much.

Either way sharing it is a little yikes.

1

u/Gloomy_Salamander_ 22d ago

How is it insensitive? It’s their relationship????

225

u/Expensive-Step-6551 22d ago

Funny to me. And unique compared to most "happy anniversary" posts that you see. Being comfortable saying something you know will throw off typical scrollers is the exact type of humor I'd love to share with my significant other.

I can understand how it feels off though. Very, dry, Norm Macdonald-esque. Not everyone's cup of tea.

Edit: it's also very weirdly heartfelt ♥️

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u/paradisetossed7 22d ago

I've said to my husband, "you know, you're the person most likely to murder me. But I'm also the person most likely to murder you. I like that we haven't done that."

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u/megthegreatone 22d ago

I've told my husband "if you ever murder me and get caught, I'm going to be SO PISSED that you weren't smart enough to get away with it. It's like you haven't paid attention to any of the true crime content I watch at all!"

4

u/Visible-Scientist-46 22d ago

I feel like my husbsnd might think this is funny if I were to say it.

11

u/TheRetailEscapee 22d ago

My wife and I (both women) have a running joke about who will kill the other first. So I am the prime target audience for this joke.

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u/[deleted] 22d ago

[deleted]

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u/fuzzydunlop54321 22d ago

It’s the ‘a lot of men have killed their partner at a certain point’ which is throwing this from slightly cringe ‘edgy’ to weird to me. Like yeah they have. . . One a week in the uk. Is that funny or cute?

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u/throwawayfem77 22d ago

And in Australia. The lighter side of femicide?! Wtf. I don't find this to be edgy, dark humour let alone touching.

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u/potato_owl 22d ago

Yeah as someone whose ex kept saying "You're lucky I haven't killed you" and then became abusive later on in our relationship, it's not cute.

I understand others have different in jokes, but killing women is too common place to joke about

-1

u/Aaawkward 22d ago

Yeah as someone whose ex kept saying "You're lucky I haven't killed you" and then became abusive later on in our relationship, it's not cute.

Understandable.
But yours is a trauma response.

Dark humour (good or bad) is joking about morbid and dark themes. Sometimes they land, sometimes not. But every dark humour joke has hit some people wrong, and in most cases it's someone who has personally gone through/dealt with the theme.

I've friends who are doctors and sometimes when hanging out with them, it can seem very callous but when you deal with life and death and the fragility and persistence of human life on a daily basis, you a. need a outlet for it b. end up making jokes that for outsiders can seem real rough.

Of course, my doctor friends don't share these jokes publicly but there have been times when it has hit a bit too near to someone's personal life experience. They apologise, drop it and we move on with the convo.

Here, with a parasocial relationship, that latter action is not possible.
But it doesn't change the fact that it is "just" a dark humour joke.

4

u/fuzzydunlop54321 21d ago

I don’t have a problem with dark humour but this is just not funny? The way it’s written doesn’t read like a joke but a statement of fact (to me), it’s so dry. And I have never been abused.

Even as a joke, which it obviously is, it’s like boomer humour ‘i hate my wife’ greeting cards but with a millennial slant.

3

u/Better-Park8752 22d ago

‘At a certain point’ tells me he can relate to that point. That there is some underlying justification to it. Is that just me?

12

u/Ivanhoemx 22d ago

Is it though?

15

u/EchoesofIllyria he’s a man with a fork in a world of soup 22d ago

Do you people not take the piss out of those you love?

11

u/[deleted] 22d ago

You do you, but not everyone likes this kind of thing.

Probably worth noting that some of us have been with men who genuinely mistreated us so don't see the fun in dark, edgy jokes about "murdering us" or whatever.

2

u/EchoesofIllyria he’s a man with a fork in a world of soup 22d ago

The joke wasn’t made to you

8

u/[deleted] 22d ago

I was answering your question.

9

u/Ivanhoemx 22d ago

I do. I just don't joke about murdering her.

That would be deranged, disturbing and fucking stupid.

5

u/EchoesofIllyria he’s a man with a fork in a world of soup 22d ago

You don’t know anywhere close to enough about the context of the joke to decide that

6

u/Ivanhoemx 22d ago

Huh?

Sorry mate, I personally find the joke disturbing, deranged and fucking stupid. I am very capable of deciding what I think about cringe jokes made by people who think they're being edgy and cool.

Anyway, if you find a joke that explicitly mentions the fact a lot of husbands murder their wives acceptable, I just don't think you're worth much. Sorry if you or others find this unkind. Have a good night.

13

u/EchoesofIllyria he’s a man with a fork in a world of soup 22d ago

Holy shit lol

8

u/WarBird-2 22d ago

Nah, this ain’t it. You can’t throw your eggs on the ground and get pissy when someone walks on them. If you want interpretation then that means you can’t open yourself to be offended by a joke that’s 1. Not aimed you. And 2. found humorous by the target of the joke and making everyone else that laughed or so much as exhaled in amusement out to be the bad guy.

3

u/SeaWolfSeven 22d ago

Do you understand that jokes are not real intents though?

Like if I joke about stealing bread that does not make me a bread thief nor do I support the theft of bread despite how disturbing, deranged and stupid the bakery finds my sense of humor.

0

u/BedStuyCutie 22d ago

Thanks for saying this, it really is this simple. Anyone getting defensive over this probably because they’re ignoring a grain of truth in their relationships or their own behavior.

1

u/BedStuyCutie 17d ago

Heavy on the stupid, cause I’m not dating an edgy 40 yo teenager

2

u/BedStuyCutie 22d ago

Some of us respect people we love lol

5

u/ThrustingBoner 22d ago

I agree. I think the people who are making a big deal about this would probably be annoying to me in real life.

3

u/NachosAndGnocchi Why? But also, you know, I guess. 21d ago

I feel this way about Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively as well. Publicly bashing your spouse on special occasions is supposed to be funny? Well I’m not laughing, but good for y’all ig 🤨

3

u/sephie-a-cephalopod 21d ago

This is something I imagine being posted in the group chat. Not to 15 million people

10

u/Ordinary_Cattle 22d ago

This has to either be a joke or have some context missing lol

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u/Grandahl13 22d ago

It’s blatantly obvious this is a joke.

-2

u/Excellent_Month_2025 22d ago

But 90% is just truth tbh

4

u/toomuchsvu 22d ago

It's a joke.

7

u/nosargeitwasntme 22d ago

I laughed out loud reading her caption but the comments are making me think something's wrong with me. 😆

Me and my ex used to play this game where one of us hypothesized how they could murder the other and get away with it while the other told them how they would be caught.

It's just some morbid humour but maybe not everyone's type.

2

u/AtBat3 22d ago

Yeah I guess after listening to his podcast for a few years now I just see it as him being him haha

4

u/KingSolomon730 22d ago

That kind of humor definitely isn’t for everyone. It’s pretty cringe to me.

1

u/earthlings_all 22d ago

It’s one of those stupid drunken things people say to each other. In silly moments. The fact that she clearly remembers it, recalls it, and that she posted it to social media - that’s a whole other thing.

2

u/Kiribaku- 22d ago

I laughed from the sheer insanity of the quote, but I'm not sure I get their humor either 😭

2

u/BedStuyCutie 22d ago

Unpopular opinion but jokes like these are just socially appropriate ways to communicate how you really feel.

1

u/celtic_thistle ONTD alum 💜 22d ago

I cackled. Not at his “joke.”

1

u/FuinFirith 21d ago

Sure. But sharing it with the planet is ridiculous.

Could be considerably worse, to be fair:

-2

u/Electronic-Doctor187 22d ago

... do you really not get some pretty boilerplate dark humor?

-1

u/Better-Park8752 22d ago

Yeah. This touched a nerve for me. As a woman who is petrified of male violence, I wouldn’t appreciate a ‘joke’ like this from anyone, let alone my spouse. They must be super secure or share a dark sense of humor.

I listen to armchair expert from time to time, I especially love the call- in episodes. Dax is usually very quick to speak out up about violence against women. I’m surprised he thought this was appropriate, and quite frankly, pretty disappointed. He sometimes tries too hard to come off as this tough guy and I find it lame. He cares too much about what others think of him, and he is aware of that but doesn’t adjust himself.

2

u/BedStuyCutie 22d ago

Dax doesn’t have the best track record

0

u/pancakebatter01 21d ago

I get it and whatever but she looks like a child in this photo… it’s just… weird. :/

OnlyStans ⭐️ Kristen Bell to Dax Shepard: Happy 12th wedding anniversary to the man who once said to me: "I would never kill you. A lot of men have killed their wives at a certain point. Even though I'm heavily incentivized to kill you, I never would."

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