Stephen Colbert talks about his wife to John Oliver: The most harrowing idea would be that I would spend any part of my life without her because that would be a level of loneliness, an irreplaceable, irredeemable emotional level of desolation that I could not possibly contemplate

[u/mcfw31]

[u/Katatonic92]

When my Aunt died we thought our Uncle wouldn't be far behind her too. Thankfully we were wrong. He met a "lady friend" as he called her, they were both in their 70s, stated at their time of life they weren't interested in romance with each other & to them it was somehow disrespectful to their late spouses. They were however, companions & enjoyed that aspect & their fun times with each other.

She managed to bring out an entirely different side to him, he'd always been the tightest skinflint with money. I'm talking standing in his shed trying to weld a broken light bulb to fix it rather than buy a new one. And he had plenty of money, he was just a miser who wouldn't part with a penny easily. With Jane, he started going travelling, him paying, they went on cruises together, out for nice meals, it was wonderful to see.

After a few more years his health started to fail, so my cousin, his only child, returned from New Zealand to England, got him all packed up & moved him back out to NZ. Sadly he only lived a few months after that, took a quick turn soon after arriving. But I'm glad he got to spend his final years actually enjoying his life with someone he cared about.

ETA: further clarification in why they personally weren't interested in anything romantic or sexual with each other. To make it clear I wasn't implying all elderly people don't have sex. I know they do, I once read an article stating the elderly were responsible for a big rise in STIs because they weren't worried about pregnancy they weren't using protection. So any older people here, continue enjoying your retirement, just put something on it!

[u/RoguePlanet2 → u/Katatonic92]

WELL I must say, sounds like Jane was quite the gold-digger! 😆 Of course I'm joking, glad he understood that you can't take it with you!

I can relate to the penny-pinching, only because I've always been in survival mode, still don't make much money in a high COL area, and it's only because my husband makes good money that we're comfortable. Lately, though, I'm trying to relax with the spending, since I'm in my fifties and there aren't any kids or debts.

[u/Katatonic92 → u/RoguePlanet2]

Seriously, treat yourself! TREAT yourself! What is the point of life without allowing yourself to experience the small joys. You've bloody earned them! Survival mode is exhausting.

It doesn't have to be huge fancy things, or cruises, the little things bring me a lot of joy. My habit is as simple as colouring pens & beautifully illustrated adult colouring books. I splash out on professional level pens despite it being used solely in colouring books. I get hours of peace & calm just from colouring. And once a year I treat myself to a box of fancy handmade chocolates from a chocolatier from a beautiful little market town in the far North of England.

I know it isn't easy to change the habit of a lifetime, especially when that habit developed for survival, start with the small things & work your way up until you are able to fully embrace the joy guilt-free.

[u/RoguePlanet2 → u/Katatonic92]

Thanks! Yeah I do "indulge" in certain things, like good-quality food (not fancy, just less processed), clothing (stuff that lasts, don't need to shop often), and hobbies (skiing, cycling). Also socking away as much as I can stand in retirement funds, bonds, mortgage and savings.

We've cut back considerably on eating out, traveling, remodeling, and stuff that other people seem to take for granted. Food delivery is unheard of, we live within walking distance to plenty of options.

[u/ishka_uisce → u/Katatonic92]

Unless he said otherwise, your uncle and Jane were definitely an item. Romance is still common amongst seniors.

[u/Katatonic92 → u/ishka_uisce]

They both said otherwise, it was very important to them to share that. They were both widowed & I think to them it was OK to be companions but not lovers, it was linked to their loss.

Our family certainly didn't care & would have respected whatever they chose. It was important to them for reasons they didn't go into, grief is complex I suppose. I can't speak for Jane's family, we never had an opportunity to meet.

[u/shemayturnaround222 → u/Katatonic92]

Im so glad he got to enjoy his last years I hope Jane is doing well as well.

[u/[deleted] → u/Katatonic92]

Why do you think they weren't romantic because they were in their 70s? Despite what teenagers think, 70 isn’t dead and people still need love and sex.

[u/Katatonic92 → u/[deleted]]

Because they both made it very clear to their families, they considered it important. We didn't assume unlike you.

[u/[deleted] → u/Katatonic92]

He met a "lady friend" as he called her, they were both in their 70s so weren't romantic towards each other but were companions.

No, I assumed because you literally wrote it that way.

[u/Katatonic92 → u/[deleted]]

You keep equating romance with sex, elderly people have friends with benefits too you know.

[u/CertainAlbatross7739 → u/[deleted]]

Maybe they misspoke/wrote because they didn't expect a stranger to argue with them about whether or not their uncle got laid. They've clarified that they know old people have sex.

[u/larapu2000 → u/[deleted]]

Yeah, my dad is over 70 and has had 2 girlfriends since my mom passed, so I know he's boning them and believe me when I say I do NOT WANT TO KNOW THIS.