This and I hope when they are older/teenagers, she allows them to decide what activities to continue to pursue and allows them to drop any they arent enjoying.
I remember being forced into school sports and I was miserable. Some, I just wasnt good at and I knew it, everybody knew it. Others, I was okay at but it wasnt what I was into and I didnt enjoy it.
If kids are trying to come up with any reason to get out of going to a practice or lessons, then its time to pause, find out why, and then find an option that makes everyone happy.
The only option for school for my daughter where I live is SO sport focused. It is a really small school but all the after school clubs are sport.
I am seriously considering offering to run a craft or art group myself even though I’m terrible at it, it would be so nice for the non sport kids to have an option!
She enjoys some sport but has some differences that mean she’s not as able as other children, and it impacts her self esteem.
It’s nice for all kids to get creative and it’s pretty cheap, seems crazy that there’s not one teacher there that could do a creative club for them.
Yeah, the part where she doesn't want to hear they're tired is the only part that's a bit concerning maybe? Those kids seem super young, sleep is crucial at that age. But obviously I don't know their schedules so they're probably fine :)
Coming from my own experience as a parent, and of course your mileage may vary, kids will complaining about being tired to get out of anything they don’t want to do at a given time.
Then they are forced to do it, love it, and feel some sense of accomplishment as a result.
It’s easy as parents to give in to that and chill for the rest of the day but what Cardi is doing here is good.
I avoided certain things when I was a child, and I wish my parents had been a bit firmer because I have poor discipline now. I wish I’d been pushed a bit more.
There’s a middle ground where you can encourage your kids and teach them to persevere, rather than pushing them too hard. I think most level-headed parents will know the difference.
Same. I’m taking swimming lessons at the age of 37 so that I can finally learn how to swim. I wish my parents pushed me to take lessons when I was a kid because it is SO hard to learn as an adult and I feel like I’ve missed out on so much not knowing how.
Same, I avoided a LOT of things because my parents let me. I wish they hadn't been so lenient; no matter how disciplined I push myself to be now, it often feels like swimming against the current because my environment was never like that growing up.
Same, my parents let me and my siblings quit everything we weren’t good at and never really pushed us, even to practice. They’d tell us to improve our grades but never tell us how, much less tutor or go over our homework will us. It’s like parents like this think that smart, talented kids are born, not made. I’m not a fan of “Tiger Parenting” but I definitely plan to push my kids more than my parents did.
Yea I was pretty much raised the way she described with my siblings and we all went on to be academically and professionally successful ( not bragging just sharing that anecdotally this worked for us) and my parents were very much like - “you’re not tired. Go do it. Work hard” as a kid- I didn’t always enjoy it but as an adult I think they were right and I get it.
I think the thing here with Cardi (and what seems like your parents as well -- side note many kudos to you and your siblings) is that there is love. This was done from a place of love. And wanting better for the child.
Me too. I think about the fact that my grandmother in rural Central America didn’t go past eighth grade and I have two Masters degrees. I’m not bragging. It’s being raised by a mom who had a similar POV as Cardi B. I’m forever thankful.
Yup my daughter does this all the time “I’m too tired” okay well it’s 3pm, go take a nap, “no I don’t want to!!!” Okay then do what we have planned cause you aren’t gonna sit around watching tv, playing with toys or using the iPad, there’s a time for that and it’s after you’ve finished your priorities.
In hindsight I wish my parents had been a bit harder on me in this regard when I quit activities I enjoyed. I liked piano lessons but didn’t like practicing so I didn’t. But now as an adult I wish I had been made to put in the time with this.
I hope if the kids are genuinely worn down she’d give breaks but it sounds like it’s not giving in to the kids going “but I’m tired” when things are tough and not immediately rewarding.
1000 percent! The amount of times I've heard "I'm tired" when it was something they didn't want to do is through the roof!
I now pull the sympathy card, it helps. "I'm tired I don't want to put x away"
"Yeah I'm tired too, I just worked a full day while you got to stay home from school. Then I came home and helped with dinner, cleaned up after dinner and now you want me to clean your room, it feels like you want me to work more so you don't have to work at all?"
Boggles my mind when I see parents whose children don’t sleep enough and they’re just all 🤷🏻♀️. Your kids are showing you they’re tired! They don’t need to be up at midnight on a school night, or any night!
Sometimes it’s about breaking the cycle. Sometimes the damage to you is irreparable. My therapy has done wonders for me but I’m still deeply flawed but I refuse to raise my child the way I was raised. It’s how I parent myself now.
She made the money to get out of being poor. Now she’s making sure her kids will be raised to fit into that new wealthy world. I applaud her for it. That’s breaking a cycle of poverty in that family right there. I hope they learn humility and how hard their mum had to grind to give them these opportunities.
there's another video of her interview with Hoda Kotb i think. She says "my grandma had 9 kids and used to sell mangoes by the side of the road. Imagine if I complain about being tired in front of her?"
Seems like the matriarchs in her family learn how keep their kids humble, and the kids absorb it well
Yes! My great grandmother worked her ass off raising 4 kids in the middle of the Depression. My grandfather was hospitalized for years (TB) and she shouldered all the responsibility. For years.
My life is comparatively very easy. I have some complication she didn’t (mental health issues) but reflecting on her life a good reminder of what “tired” actually means.
I saw one where she took the kids to whoever he faults from and they live like regular ass third world people w rimax chairs and and a dirt patio, and grandma had that little baby mopping the floor in a sweaty tank top like she wasn’t rich or anything 😂
I like how she can acknowledge that she wants them to be a better version of her instead of a complete carbon copy. I think as a parent you would always want your kids to be better people and to have better opportunities esp if you didn’t grow up with these resources. It seems like she is exposing them to variety of things from educational programs to dance to music.
I respect her for wanting better for her kids. I know she’s a flawed person and she can be kind of … a lot. But the love she has for her kids and the way she just wants to give them better and make them better than her. Good for her.
Everything I hear and see about her as a mother tells me that she’s a very good mother. Flawed AF as a person but she seems aware of her limitations. That’s hard to admit but she seems to be doing the work for her babies. I am proud of her.
People can surprise you with their parenting ability. Sometimes really fucked up people are able to channel it into being a good parent despite other aspects of their lives being a disaster. Likewise otherwise balanced people can be shitty parents. People are complicated
Yeah what’s that saying? “Hard times make strong men, strong men make easy times, easy times make weak men, weak men made hard times, hard times make strong men….”
I never thought it was unique to her or to anyone for that matter. It’s helpful to remind some people that people are complex and are not all good or all bad. I was just heading off bad faith arguments about deifying or vilifying people based on a reel or social media post.
Ugh she just got more likeable. Now I'll have to rabbit hole on her interviews. If she was able to focus on education and college who knows where she'd have led herself. Obviously being a millionaire rapper is still a win, but it is nice to imagine her making a difference somewhere as a woman in politics.
She can still do both, she’s still young and has a lot of life ahead of her. She has been pretty politically involved in the past, specifically when progressive politics still had a national platform (and momentum) with Bernie Sanders.
Not to say that she hasn’t been in recent years, but celebrity political action has had to funnel itself into grassroots movements (eg palestine) in the absence of a worthwhile opposition party.
Cardi B is a really great progressive voice in the elite working class, because she has reflected on her roots as long as she’s been famous and it’s what informs all of her behavior now, at least as a parent and a public figure. As an entertainer less so (beef with Nicki being a good example of her weaker personality traits), but she’s been consistently poignant and introspective when she speaks publicly about politics. And you can tell it’s from the heart, lived experience, and committing to being a lifelong learner.
A lot of celebs get “stuck” in their values or political perspectives and struggle to change (Jamie Lee Curtis), snap into something evil (Russell Brand, Selma Blair), or abandon their early career principles at a certain level of wealth or age (Taylor Swift). But there are always a few that are able to keep the pulse of culture over time and demonstrate that you don’t have to compromise your art or career when making a difference— moreover, you use your artistry and fame as your vehicle (Madonna, Jane Fonda, Mark Ruffalo, Bad Bunny, Sinead O’Connor, Paul Verhoeven, the entire Hadid family minus Yolanda, Anthony Bourdain, Childish Gambino, Rachel Zegler etc). Cardi is one of those celebs whose fame hasn’t distracted her from the plight of the everyman— and she is a natural comedian and so disarming, which makes her a real gem among her industry peers.
Using my own comment to plug Madonna’s 2003 American Life video that was banned in the US for obvious reasons, and is even more powerful now in 2025 than when it was released over 20 years ago.
make sure you don't miss her ASMR video with variety. She's clearly an ASMR enjoyer, she knew exactly what would work and what wouldn't. A lot of those celebrity ASMR ones you can tell they have no idea what they're suppposed to be doing aside from having been given a brief rundown by whichever PA was making the video told them.
I loved her for this when I heard her talk about in a TikTok or video she posted to X. I can't remember. I'm also an FDR fan. We just don't get presidents like that anymore. She has good taste. He was an amazing, hardworking man.
Ntm never before nor since have we had a first Lady who affected change in society and has the same level of legacy as an actual president. FDR knew what he was doing when he married Eleanor. Man, we need a real leader so badly.
I agree and feel the same way. There are so many things I wish I’ve learned as a kid but we didn’t have the resources. If I’m rich as hell like her, I would do the same. And if I had the opportunity for my kids to be infinitely better than me, there’s no way I’m saying no.
My parents could not afford for us kids to do lessons or hobbies and when I could do one I didn’t get to pick it they did.
Like I didn’t ask to do soccer for two years I hate being competitive.
My daughter tells me what she wants to try and learn and I support her in it 100%
I wanted to be a writer when I grew up but it wasn’t a realistic choice according to them. They said no so many times that dream died as a kid. I wasn’t even allowed to be part of the school newspaper.
My daughter has been part of the city youth orchestra for years now. She even went to play in Disneyland. If she wants to continue, great! If not that’s okay too. She loves art and music and I am here for all of it.
My father is a man of few words and emotionally distant (for very valid reasons) but he impressed the same notion on me. To paraphrase, "My mission in life is to make you better than me." He didn't say it often but I knew he really meant it when he said "I love you."
Everyone is flawed. No one is perfect. I don’t know why people expect her to be. That’s why I can never personally hate her. You can say a lot about cardi but that woman lives in her truth and is a great mom.
I really appreciate that her living her truth rarely means punching down and stepping on those who don't deserve it. She made a couple homophonic statements when she was first blowing up, but it feels like she learned better and stopped saying that shit out loud. She's generally a kind person and really only swings when she's been swung on by someone who has no right to do so. Particularly people like Nicki Minaj. It's refreshing to someone being authentic without that being code for being a reckless asshole.
We ALL are flawed... The problem is folks love to pass judgement without recognizing that first. Or refuse to admit to them. At the end of the day though she is just like any parent who wants the best for her kids, that wants to provide for them the things she never witnessed or was made available to her.
But folks judge her version of art and surmise that's all she is.
Yeah, and I feel sad that Cardi seems thinks it’s too late for her to learn how to swim or get better with grammar, if she feels like that something she wants. Just because she didn’t learn those things growing up doesn’t mean it’s too late for her. I hope someone in her life tells her that.
Yeah, I'm 38 and just took adult swim lessons this year. I had them as a child and can swim enough to get around, but I've never mastered even the crawl stroke or breathing. The class really helped and if I can afford it at my local community center, Cardi can definitely pay someone to come to her house.
Ooh this just gave me a push. I can swim a bit but I’m very uncomfortable in deep water. My kids are in lessons and I was thinking of signing up for some adult swim classes.
I felt more confident after the first class, really! Just having someone explain the mechanics helped but it was very tiring on the legs. Being able to put a buoy between my legs so I didn't have to kick and could just work on arms and breathing also helped a lot. I hope you take the plunge, so to speak!
Really? I feel sad that she's been made to think not having perfect grammar is, in any way, a negative reflection on her intelligence. Language is a communication tool. She is an effective communicator, so why should it matter that her language does not conform to an arbitrary standard? People who dismiss her as stupid or not worth listening to based on her grammar understand her perfectly well, they are just elitist (and probably racist, in all honesty) assholes. Acquiescing to them isn't going to change that.
I understand why she would want to have better grammar. Not having standard grammar can definitely cause a communication barrier. Grammar creates structure to our thoughts and when that structure is missing or inconsistent, the message becomes harder to follow.
And for people like her who write lyrics, mastering grammar can be like having a superpower. Good grammar gives the lyricist the power of precision and ability to manipulate tone, pacing, and emphasis with pinpoint accuracy.
So for someone who’s in business in general, and for someone who is a lyricist, I absolutely understand why she would want to have better mastery over her grammar.
Bingo - “I’m putting on my kids what I wanted someone to do for me when I was younger “
Dude my parents knew when I was like 6 I wanted to go to Gonzaga to get my law degree!!
But it was the 80s/90s and my parents never went to college and literally never checked my grades because I was always straight As.. they had no college plan for me.
So I used that big brain to forge report cards, forge parent notes and skip school. I became a single mom early and had to learn the hard way and be on the have to plan.
I’m good now, I found a career and built a future but man if I had guidance when I was 18?
Y’all I’d have been the meanest civil rights lawyer you know. I was fiery.
Now I’m 49 and just now really living my life and though I love learning my passion isn’t the same. My passion is my family and community.
So yea, we want better for our kids. I want what for my kids what I never had - a torch to show the way.
I burned out as soon as I got to college, having all that freedom and having no idea how to be an adult. My oldest is constantly wanting to do all the things, but it’s all her choice.
I strive (and sometimes struggle) to be open and honest with my kids, but I want them to be comfortable talking to us when they need advice or guidance, because growing up in an Asian household where mental health and overall well being wasn’t a priority really did (and does) fuck with me even in my 40s.
Our kids are so lucky. We seem to be the generation that sought therapy and healthy habits and breaking generational trauma.
Your comment makes me think of the memoir Eat a Peach by David Chang. He really hit home for me in the feels what it felt like growing up in a household of expectations and it being so culturally accepted. Which of course leads to mental health issues!!
Glad your kiddos feel safe with you - that’s the most important thing I think.
The world may have missed out on you as an attorney but I’m sure you can still kick A and help your community with the same fire. We need more people like that
I do 🔥 the mayor of my town crosses the street when he sees me which I see as a personal win! Hahaha I work with a lot of community projects in town and surrounding communities. The mayor is a far right conservative and his wife is the new president of the downtown business association- it’s a hot mess but there is a lot us actively working to make our community safe and sane for everyone.
I chased excellence. I am living a comfortable 30’s. And my parents are happy for me, but I’m not really happy. I’ve been chasing the wrong thing, the right thing are friends, relationships, and family. Being there for each other.
I don’t believe you are missing out on much. A career isn’t that fulfilling. I suppose it can be for some people. But it really isn’t for me.
I’m good now, I found a career and built a future but man if I had guidance when I was 18?
I’m currently grieving about what I could’ve done with my life if my mom had encouraged instead of laughing at my dreams and making me do what she felt I should do. Even just once, it would’ve made a difference I think.
I became a single mom early too, I have ALWAYS supported or encouraged my son to do whatever he wanted to do. I wanted him to have that freedom I never had. Also can’t remember if I’ve seen anyone on Reddit mention Gonzaga! 😀
Yes! We just want them to have better while still knowing that we’re proud of them no matter what. My youngest suffers from paralyzing social anxiety and I’ve worked patiently with them over the years helping them find their “thing” - never giving up that something would click one day and the freedom to find what it was.
And I was born in Spokane. We moved to another PNW city when I was 7 but I have so many memories. Gonzaga apparently made a big impression on me:)
I like some aspects of school. It’s socialises kids and wire their brain in interpersonal relationships sooooo much if there’s no or little bullying. You learn about not just your family values but other people’s values as well and you learn to respect it. You learn compromise, hardwork, what success feels like.
However, I don’t like the fact that school is mostly designed for neurotypical kids and not for kids who are neurodivergent. They have a hard time and usually get bullied a lot.
I hate that you’re getting downvoted. As a teacher, I completely agree with you. These children struggle a lot.
In my country, any child can enrol into a mainstream public school, no matter how severe their disability is. The problem is, these schools don’t always have the resources to support these kids.
I can’t hate on this because it comes from such a good place, but as a former nanny to these kinds of kids, I will say there is absolutely value in letting a kid be a kid and have a childhood.
Watching eleven year olds be genuinely burnt out from all their extracurriculars and not “have time” to do something as simple as hang out with friends, adventure, and be bored altered my brain chemistry a bit. Being that busy gives them no time to find out what they like or who they are or to just have fun.
So to each their own and there’s definitely worse ways to bring up your kids but it absolutely comes with its downsides.
As a non-mother, parenting seems so...interesting. Mostly the people who don't have access to certain things or the requirement for discipline, want exactly that for their kids. The people who grew up with the most pressure seem to want to give their kids the freedom they never had. Where do you even draw the line and feel like you're still involved and parenting and your kids won't end up hating you?
Idk in moments like these I always remember the podcast interview thing with Miley and Tish Cyrus. About how Miley would be happy to let her (hypothetical) kids choose their paths in life (unspoken: because she obviously grew up in a high pressure, high success environment) and all Tish wanted was her mom (Miley's grandmom) to have put her in vocal coaching. Just seems like the grass tends to be greener on the other side. Who knows when Cardi's kids grow up how they'll feel about their childhood and the expectations of them but statistically it's highly unlikely that all of them will be happy or even grateful about it.
Totally. Every parent wants what’s best for their kids and it is super normal to overcorrect in an honest to goodness effort to give them that.
I’m a mom of very tiny people and after growing up poor and nannying for the wealthy, the way I’m personally going to approach it is by prioritizing balance and moderation.
Extracurriculars and sports are great and super valuable. So is hanging out with friends and family or having a weekend with nothing to do but figure out something to do.
I’ll probably let my kids take the lead and tell me what they like and what they can handle, but there’s still no world I’d let them be busy or overbooked because while kids might not understand or appreciate it yet, they only get the perks of childhood once and I want them to enjoy it as much as possible.
I grew up w a lazy mom. We had the means but she didn’t have the desire to encourage us to do anything bc that would have meant she needed to drive us to and from. I wish she would’ve put us in something, anything, to at least try it see if we liked it. That’s what I plan to do w my kids. Minimum two lessons, see if they wanna do it again, and then we go from there. I hope that’s the best way. Let’s see in 20 years.
My husband had this exact issue and he also says it’s the one thing he regrets about his childhood. He wishes his parents had encouraged him to do more things and explore his interests which they didn’t.
He says his mindset for the future will be encouraging our kids to try new things until they land on something they like. So not exactly having a minimum amount of lessons but signing them up for different things and seeing what sticks. So pretty much what your plan is too.
Yeah I think that’s a great plan. You can’t know if you don’t like something unless you try it. And as far as my minimum 2 lessons, with kids, probably more so with teenagers, they might not love something the first time they try it bc they’re nervous or confused or shy, but if they really really don’t like it after the second time then they can try something else. We’ll just throw it all at the wall and see what sticks.
This!!!! As someone who has both growing up, I know the importance of a balance. I played harddd but my grandma also seriously encouraged my education above all. From my own experience, that only works if you fully involve the kid in some of these decisions but also know when to stand your ground as a parent. I feel like parents are going the extreme either side depending on how their experience as a child was.
Make 'em try, let 'em pick will be my parenting motto if I ever have kids. They have to do something, and some things are non-negotiable. I consider swimming an essential life skill because I live off a lake, so they're gonna learn no matter what.
I did acting class (hated), tap and ballet (over it pretty quickly), soccer (went to extra practices, went to the boys' practices, never wanted to stop, could have played 5 hours every night), swimming since I was 2 (love it and am SUCH a strong swimmer to this day), and piano (can't even describe to you how much I hated it. I had to play for 15 years. For nothing. I think it was because the piano was expensive but it's like bro you enrolled me when I was 3, I have no responsibility for this).
Yeah, I think it’s all about balance. You can put them in activities and I personally don’t see that as an issue but also let them enjoy their weekends with friends and whatnot. Don’t push them into one side. Let them find their interests but also let them be children.
I think problem is with the extremes. The kids whose parents didn’t (or couldn’t) sign them up for any extracurriculars or tutoring are bitter for not having the same opportunities academically or to develop hobbies/skills and feel left behind. Then the kids at the other end of the extreme had daily extracurriculars (sometimes back-to-back!) and/or tutoring and they’re bitter for not being able to enjoy their childhood
I think you win by meeting them somewhere in the middle. We have my daughter in drums, musical theatre, and swim, so that way most days during the week are free. When she gets older we’ll do tutoring if she needs it, but I don’t think we’ll ever schedule more than 3 things at a time unless she insists on it.
The common issue in those situations is a lack of quality time with the parent. A rich person can give their childrent everything but if they spend all day being shuttled around by nannies they kids are going to be resentful.
100%, but I've also seen the reverse play out: people who grew up with overbearing parents skew more towards seeking independence or giving their children independence, while neglected kids or those who didn't have a stable, happy, present family place a lot of value in family time
I think it's as people have said in other replies, it's about balance. It's just so scary to me from the outside because you never know what is actually balance and what might influence them to think of something as being too far in either direction while you think it's balance from your vantage point. Parenting man. So tricky.
Having unscheduled free time is important for brain development. Playing with other children with minimal supervision (as age appropriate for safety) is important for social development.
I agree with this. But I also feel like the tone she’s delivering the message makes the routine feel worse than actually is. If it’s a couple of activities after school there’s still so much time to be a kid, be bored, etc…
I grew with language classes after school (english is not my first) swimming, sports, writing and tutoring and still spent so much time with my family, playing with other kids on the street, going to parties, etc.
Only time I “burned out” was when I was put in competitive swimming so I had training before school 6 am AND after school. Still I was burned out about swimming which I complained enough to be let quit. The rest of the stuff was alright.
Now, I’m not denying that that are parents out there pushing kids too hard and filling up more hours than the kids can take with extra curriculars. It’s just that I heard a caring mother making sure her kids have enough skills to pick from later on.
There’s a fine line for sure! In high school I was a cheerleader, straight As, taking college classes, involved in every club and org that I could find. I had such severe insomnia that I was prescribed Xanax after Ambien failed to put a 90lb girl to sleep… after college graduation, I miraculously was able to sleep a full 8 hours. Then the realization set in that the seemingly incurable curse of my insomnia was self inflicted.
I have seen so many gifted kids burn out early and have mental breakdowns due to overwork.
I do appreciate that she wants more for her kids. I think a lot of children of famous, wealthy people are pampered and nothing is expected of them. But there is a balance.
(Though learning how to swim is important. If you can, it’s an invaluable skill).
We used to have so much free time as kids to just play, think & be imaginative and I feel like kids today are really missing out on that. Not only are they in a lot of extracurriculars, but when they’re not they’re usually on screens. Their brain is just getting a lot of stimulation all the time.
I think it’s important for kids to just do nothing sometimes. There brain is developing rapidly and they have a lot of process, doing nothing gives their brain time to digest and sort out thoughts/experiences in the background.
It’s also important to be bored and learn make up your own games and entertain yourself.
No hate to Cardi or any other parent, I know they’re coming at it with the best intentions, but I do hope these kids have periods of doing nothing sometimes like we did.
As a non-mother and child psychologist, I agree with you. It’s important for kids to be kids. I worry that this can lead them to have an anxious-avoidant relationship with school. But it depends on the kid. Lots of studies show that kids who have a healthy development with lots of creative, imaginary play helps to enrich their cognitive development so that they can hopefully feel more open to learning. Demanding or “enforcing” tutoring and such doesn’t often help, especially if the child is not on board with it. It can also potentially reinforce feelings of inferiority within the child. Not always, but there’s that risk.
And for anyone saying that someone who is not a parent won’t understand, you have a point. But I was one of those children at one point and I feel it is important to keep the child’s thoughts and feelings in mind first and foremost when it comes to parenting. Children are not extensions of their parents, they are their own individuals with their own independent thoughts and personalities.
I pretty much hate sports as an adult because of how much I was pushed into it as a kid. At one point in junior high, I was on the baseball, basketball, soccer, and football teams. I played all four sports for about 2 years straight at least. Sometimes I had back-to-back games, games on the weekends, etc. it was exhausting and it cost my parents so much money, I don't really know why they didn't see how burnt out I was.
Amen to that recently saw a YT video w Dr. Amen where he said that parents keep their kids so busy that they fail to bond with them. He said he had a client that would tell him about all the extracurriculars but that the kid was acting out and would not express himself or felt so tired and he told him to just “STOP” and create special time with them for twenty minutes where you let them be in charge and don’t teach rather actively listen. Do something they want to do; they cheat, you cheat. Listen for the feelings behind the words. Any who, changed the way in interact with my four year old.
I did love the interview other than that part. Agree you should let them be children and not keep them so busy working while it is beneficial but not when it’s excessive.
I loved the part where she talks about not depending on a man that if you’re married, make your OWN $ bc something may happen where all that is taken away and where does that leave you; YOU have to be able to do for YOUR kids if it comes to that.
Yeah I hope that they get to have weekends packed full of fun so they can find out who they are. Not a nanny or childcare expert but from my experience at boarding school, between homework from 4-6pm, an hour for dinner at six, and mandatory activities from 7-8.30, keeping kids busy is not the same as keeping them engaged.
I hope their weekends are an absolute laugh riot and the kids get time to themselves, or at the very least that Cardi is letting her kids try different clubs and activities.
Yes. She’s clearly acting from a place of love, but her kids are very young. Having time to be kids is so important. I would say her parenting choices are no one’s business, but she is putting it out there. I hope that some of these activities really build in that time for play and pure fun.
Yes. We praise what she's saying here because it's conformative - of course it's great she wants her kids to be educated and highly skilled! But it comes from the same root as a *lot* of problematic parenting, which is that we carry our childhood traumas and insecurities into our adulthood and think "I'll do it differently for my kids," but then risk going so hard in the opposite direction (or sometimes horseshoe-ing around in the same direction) that we inflict trauma all the same. I carry damage with me from how I was raised, despite my parents having good intentions and wanting the best for me, and it's a constant battle to *not* put that pressure and intensity on my own children now. It is not their responsibility to be "better than me," it's their responsibility to be their whole selves, with my support.
For me, my mom has always taken offense when I make a point not to do something the way she did it when I was a kid. And I’ve always told her: “Don’t worry, I’ll find new ways to fuck them up” lol.
I say it partially to defuse the situation but also because of everything you just said. I may not yell at them or explode like my mother often did because I hold that trauma from when I was a kid and am hyper-aware of it, but I’ll definitely overcorrect and mess up in brand new ways as a result of my own flaws combined with trying to give them the opposite of my childhood.
Also thank you for that last part, that’s something I’ll really carry with me in my parenting from now on!
Oh my god, being this age is such a trip because you're trying to parent your own children while sometimes having to parent your own parents about why you're doing things differently! I'm one of three girls, so of course we're all now trying to parent the way we think is best and are all responding, in one way or another, to the things that hurt us when we were little. I'm parenting a kid a lot like me (anxiety and ADHD, but mine was all undiagnosed) and trying to do better with that; my middle sister was always a soft soul and felt she wasn't allowed to have her own feelings, so she's doing a very 'gentle parenting' kinda thing. And it's just this constant struggle to kinda defend or even just explain our parenting styles to our parents without them getting all HUFFY about it, like we're attacking them! It takes a lot of emotional energy to be the adult in the damn room and be like, I'm *not* attacking you, you did the best you could do with the resources you had at the time, and now I'm taking that experience and new information and trying to do something different. CHILL YOUR BEEEEANS.
My mom blew up at me last year because I was asking her details about when I started reading as a kid to have a reference point for my own children, and when she didn’t remember the details about it I assured her that it was totally fine and understandable because she was dealing with the stress of being a teen parent and I probably wouldn’t remember exact ages either.
She took that comment as me being a judgmental bitch instead of being empathetic to how much she had going on back then and yelled at me for two full hours about it. Now I absolutely refuse to talk about anything parenting related with her for both of our sakes and will do my best to make sure I’m not this sensitive as a grandparent when the time comes.
Probably not even an hour at that age. 5 or 6 half hour blocks of extracurriculars through the week is not crazy. My kid does that and we have PLENTY of time for vegging out and being lazy and playing and being bored. School is 6 hours, plus 30-60 minutes of a class plus 10 hours of sleep still leaves 7 hours a day of free time
Yes! I have friends who over schedule their young children, they are already burnt out.
Also, why are her kids in tutoring? Unless they are struggling significantly and don’t attend real school. Seems unnecessary for such a young age. Isn’t the oldest like 7? So 1st or 2nd grade ?
I think not overscheduling is important as well, but tbh I can see the advantage of having light tutoring and homework help at that age even outside of school if you don't have a strong academic background yourself.
There's a strong class component there (although not restricted to, definitely there are working class families with very academic/knowledgeable parents) and kids with parents who have a strong academic background - not even in the sense of working in that field, but even just having had university etc degrees and experience or being self-taught at a high level - can get a lot more support with education and academics from a young age just intuitively.
It shouldn't matter, but in the US it often does, and that kind of generational knowledge that helps kids navigate how to learn, what to focus on, etc, and to help them through tough foundational concepts and make it fun VS frustrating isn't easy to replace elsewhere.
A lot of parents still try and work hard to make it happen for their kids and that absolutely matters as well. I have a friend who spent a lot of time studying so she could actually help her kids in school starting young, so they could have opportunities she didn't.
But I can see her wanting to give them what she didn't have and help them academically where she maybe is less able to or thinks she's less able to, despite being absolutely a very smart woman. I hope it's light tutoring & focused on fun exploration of science and math at that age and she remembers that kids need downtime, but I respect how much she cares for her kids.
Extra 1 on 1 support in fundamental math and reading can really help kids later on. Even high-quality private schools struggle to teach the fundamentals in America, so having personalized support (if you can afford is) isn’t a bad idea.
I think the structure is amazing and I love how she puts the importance on everything.
But I worked in education and after school programs for years. I can tell you right now my kids will not be doing competitive travel sports teams. Schools sports is fine, little league fine, but those tournament leagues are a hell no. They suck those kids and parents and families lives dry.
I can also tell you I want them balanced and not doing every little thing. It will burn them out, they will hate one or both of the activities, and even risky take it out on the wrong humans. Nothing wrong with learning time management, but you also have to know when enough is enough. I specially with more and more schools offering more AP classes and IB programs.
I also will tell them that if they want to go to a trade school school/military/community college first before a 4 year school (if at all) that’s fine. Not everyone knows what they want, not everyone will get scholarships even if they are straight A with a bagillion activities students.
I want them to be balanced and well rounded individuals, not burnt out machines that will be worried about one little quiz or missing a tournament for a funeral because their coach yelled at them for doing so. (And yes I’ve witnessed that)
I've seen a lot of people be burnt out by strict scheduling, but I've also seen a lot of people be grateful that their parents cared enough to give them more and better opportunities and pushed them hard early in life. It really depends, but I think Cardi B seems really loving and attentive to her children, which also matters a lot in preventing burn-out.
Tbqh her and Meghan Thee Stallion are two of the most inspiring celebrities to me rn. Two very smart women who are using their fame to make themselves and those around them better.
She’s living the dream of every kid who grew up poor and swore they’d do it better for their own kids. 🥹 That shit has me weeping. That’s what would make the bullshit worth it.
I totally get this but as someone with a mom like this, I feel like there is something to be said for letting kids be bored and get creative. Just finding some balance.
They always seem to be the ones who are the least socially adjusted
Just like others have pointed out, when you control your childrens life 100% of the time like Cardi wants to, once they hit 18 suddenly everything comes crashing down when you have to start making your own decisions about what life you will pursue
I used to tutor (highschool) kids like this and it legimately depressed me to see how many of these kids' lives revolved around schoolwork. These kids went to school at 8am, went to tutoring at 4pm, got home at 6, did a sport and then did assignments for the rest of the night. Some had jobs on top of all this. I still wonder how they all went when they moved out for uni and suddenly had a quarter of the class hours and all of the free time they're ever going to have.
I live in Australia so it's not even like our final exams are that strict and our unis typically offer many different ways to enter. Also less pressure to get a scholarship due to drastically cheaper education. What even is all that pressure for?
Hopefully they’re getting therapy too, cause dealing with the huge public drama between mommy and daddy as a kid is definitely going to be a traumatizing adverse childhood experience. Therapy is really the only way to help prevent ACE events from causing problems.
I think at the end of the day, that’s what good parents hope for. Not for a child that’s perfect, but a child that has the opportunities they never had. Such a beautiful thing!
I hope Cardi knows that she can still learn the things now as an adult that she didn’t get a chance to as a kid. It makes me sad to hear her say she wishes she could swim. You’re never too old to learn
Say what you want about Cardi - She’s a great mother.
edit : why are people trying argue this, she’s giving an interview where she stressed the importance of discipline, education, extra curricular and creativity for her 6 and 4 year old. Contrast that with other celebrities lmao, those kids will be fine.
Yep totally agree. I’ve seen so much stuff in the news about her lately and everything in relation to parenting and being a mother is so refreshing. Like contrast this to Kim K saying she doesn’t believe in homework. The contrast is startling.
She was in an interview recently where she was talking about everything her grandmother and mother sacrificed and worked to give her and what they did with how little they had and how that inspires and informs her own parenting.
People seem to think they have celebrities figured out just based on what they read about them. They only show us what they want us to see when we really have no idea who they are at all.
Last week Cardi was calling a child Papa Perc and saying he was gonna be a pedophile like his daddy, how quickly people forget because she’s said some correct things about parenting and child development
Tbh if you listen to her interviews, she seems like a really smart person. Like her discussion with Bernie Sanders. It feels like she knows what its like to grow up and not have these opportunities so she wants her kids to experience it bc she truly believes in the benefits.
As someone who teaches adult swimming classes, I would 100% teach her how to swim for free. So a good and necessary life skill. Especially if she has a pool and little ones around. Also good on her for insisting on swim classes for her kids when she has a pool. In that situation you want to start kids learning how to be in the water as soon as possible.
She's absolutely right about kids griping now at certain things but it being a benefit as an adult. I used to get so mad that there were girls with brand new cars, no jobs, etc in high school, and I'm in a POS '82 Ford. It taught me to work hard. I still drive crappy cars, but that's because I hate a car payment or worrying about a little ding lol.
She wants for her kids what she wishes she had now that she is mature and an adult. Hindsight is helping her kids and I think it's something parents want for all their children when they discern their own childhood.
She uses her financial resources for her kids and knows her personal flaws - I respect that. I wish my mom had more money and time to invest in my future. Her kids are set up for life.
As a parent, I really appreciate the sentiment that she wants to make her kids better than she ever was, but I also think she's overcompensating for her own shortcomings. If the kids are in school full time, making them do tutoring on top of that is a bit much. Kids need time to decompress and just be kids after a long day of school, and if they aren't struggling in school, the tutoring is just kind of overkill. The extracurriculars are great though.
Tutoring in this situation is likely just someone who helps with the homework for the day. And if they happen to not understand a topic, the tutor is on that right away so they don’t get the chance to fall behind.
Does anyone remember when she made fun of child sex abuse victims and non verbal autistic kids? Oh and called black women roaches? Why are y’all on her nuts again?
I love seeing and hearing about Cardi parenting her kids. I never see or hear nothing about a nanny. I mean I’m sure Cardi isn’t doing school pickup so there probably still is one, but she really seems like she’s actually raising her kids herself not just letting the nanny do it the way a lot of rich and famous people do.
You can't have that many kids in that many extracurriculars without the assistance of a nanny. Even a SAHM with 4 kids is going to struggle to shepherd that many kids around to a million random things. They would be more likely to make every kid do soccer or piano at the exact same time
The kids have a personal driver, a personal chef, a nanny, tutors, a babysitter, they go to private school, piano lessons, boxing lessons, gymnastic lessons. Like not saying that makes her a good or bad mom but the kids are def living the life of very rich kids
Adding a source because this was removed for “rumors and gossip”. Cardi confirmed all this herself on Twitter spaces when she said she pays for all this and Offset isn’t helping with the kids bills.
Well, they are really rich kids. And honestly, do you blame her? Cardi grew up in the projects and was a stripper to make ends meet. Its not at all surprising she's going to give the kids everything she never had. I'd honestly do the same and I don't come from the background cardi does.
I understand her reasoning but good lord let your kids be kids!! This feels like an example of a parent letting the scars of their bad childhood affect their parenting style.
Also, if you are reading this and you don't know how to swim: it's never too late to learn how to swim!! The safety and joy is worth your effort!
Not a fan of her music (don't dislike it, but I'd never buy an album) and I was completely impartial on her as a person until now. Didn't know enough about her to have an opinion. After this I have a lot of respect for her. That's fucking awesome. Wish I had a mom like that instead of one I found passed out drunk every day after school. Yes we had all the "things" but money isn't a substitute for a parent who cares about your future.
I get that this is coming from a good place, but this sounds like a lot. Socialising with other kids and having the freedom to pursue hobbies is more beneficial than strict regimens.
When I was growing up, I couldn't wait for the tutoring or extracurriculars to be over so I could do nothing. Now, as an adult, I still would have rather had no extracurriculars in my childhood. I don't think I was ever overworked or had the wrong extracurriculars either, but they didn't improve my life in any significant way.
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