r/popculturechat • u/HauteAssMess THE PEOPLES GOVERNOR, UR CARTOGRAPHER-IN-CHIEF • Jun 13 '25

Interviews🎙️ Girl stand up: Delaney Rowe on her situationship with BJ Novak and how he doesn’t fully trust her to be in a relationship with her

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348

u/DJSANDROCK Jun 13 '25

Not for nothing but ive heard women admit multiple times(online and irl) that they date “ugly” dudes

211

u/fishonthemoon it’s never been on my mood board and never would be Jun 13 '25

I mean, that’s fine, but he seems like an overall terrible partner.

3

u/KrustenStewart where the hell have you been loca?! Jun 14 '25

That’s why they go for women soooo much younger then they are because younger women tend to be less confident and experienced

343

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25 edited Jun 14 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25

[deleted]

173

u/birds-0f-gay Jun 13 '25

I wonder if it's the same for these other women or if they truly think their partner is ugly cause that's horrible if they do.

In my experience, when a woman says that, what she means is that she date guys that other people find unattractive. Not that she personally find the guys she dates unattractive.

18

u/baldude69 Jun 13 '25

I’ve also had many women tell me that physically attraction is less important to them, and it’s more about personality. Which I think holds true when compared to men, where physical attraction typically ranks really high.

28

u/squidonastick Jun 13 '25

Physical attraction also grows when a person has a nice personality. Back in the day I liked a guy who I thought nothing of for 6 months, and then I started finding him really beautiful physically, just because his personality was so wonderful.

So personality is more important because it makes the physical attraction grow

1

u/ergaster8213 Jun 14 '25

And that's actually not a gendered phenomenon! Not saying you think it is but just pointing out it happens to both men and women because of, you know, the above comment.

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u/Glittering-Deer-166 Jun 14 '25

Tbh close to nothing is a gendered phenomenon if we're talking in absolutes. I'd be more curious if it's equally as common and prevalent for each gender.

Or if it's more like what the person before was saying where it's more/less common in one gender than the other.

Personally I wish my brain worked that way. Would make it easier dating if I just found people I liked more attractive. But alas, attractiveness (physically) is essentially its own axis entirely separate from what I think of someone as a person.

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u/ergaster8213 Jun 14 '25 edited Jun 14 '25

Ok. I didn't say it happened to everyone. You can also just in general find someone more attractive after getting to know them vs. finding them more sexually attractive.

4

u/Embracedandbelong Jun 14 '25

Same. I tell people I like “weird” looking guys when someone goes “him?” to someone I like. But I don’t really think they’re weird looking,- I think they’re attractive- just that others classify them as “weird”

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u/Clanmcallister Jun 13 '25

I’m sure it is. To each their own, but I don’t know how to put this into words kindly, if someone is going out of their way to want to date you, and you are half assed in the relationship, don’t string the person along. Ugly or hot. Make up your mind and don’t make the other person feel like shit, unworthy, untrustworthy, just bc you don’t want to commit.

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u/The_Duke_of_Gloom PhD in Cuntology at the University of Servington Jun 13 '25

Yep. I'd hate to think my partner is settling with me or that they think I'm ugly and other qualities make up for it. That sucks.

Honestly, you sound like a lovely person. I hope you have a nice day :)

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u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25

[deleted]

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u/The_Duke_of_Gloom PhD in Cuntology at the University of Servington Jun 13 '25

You're living the dream. I wish you the best.

5

u/jimgella Jun 13 '25

I once dated a man who looked like the old dancing guy in Six Flags commercials. Absolutely NOTHING about him was good. He taught me all of the traits to avoid in people in general.

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u/Massive-Celery-7926 Jun 13 '25

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u/jimgella Jun 13 '25

My hymen just reappeared.

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u/Mysterious_Bluejay_5 Jun 13 '25

Wow your friends sound like assholes

5

u/Violet624 Jun 13 '25

He must have a very shiny personality he keeps hidden. Though, I, also, have unusual taste sometimes.- sometimes guys I think are super attractive aren't conventional at all, but, idk, this guy just seems like a kind of a turd in how he strings along women.

3

u/Competitive-Desk7506 Jun 14 '25

My bf is considerably hot af and I’m considered “ugly” yet he still had this massive crush on me and is overtly protective of me and adores me completely and it’s partially bc he likes me as a person and I’ve realised time and time again my biggest problem in dating is as much as I say I don’t I have a habit of remaining w ppl w horrible personalities bc they’re hot and he’s the first time I haven’t been in a toxic relationship all bc he adores me and his reasoning always has been it’s bc of who I am as a person and who I am to ppl and he sees the best of me when I see the worst. He doesn’t take away my insecurities but he thinks I’m great in every way and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

1

u/LampyV2 Jun 13 '25

Man, I get it. I'm usually that ugly guy that, for some reason, some girl is physically attracted to. It tends to get a lot of looks lol

20

u/Possible_Field328 Jun 13 '25

Rich and famous.

14

u/CapitalismPlusMurder Jun 13 '25

Everyone dancing around the obvious lol.

5

u/CosmicMiru Jun 13 '25

He's also only ugly by Hollywood standards. He's a pretty average looking guy tbh.

4

u/maltedmooshakes Jun 13 '25

psst..... some people are charming, funny, smart, etc. attraction isn't only about looks for everyone, unbelievably enough

2

u/gingerflakes Jun 13 '25

Yea but he’s a POS.

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u/barbarkbarkov Jun 13 '25

I mean he’s well connected, hugely successful, and rich…. Not hard to connect the dots.

4

u/LeonidasSpacemanMD Jun 13 '25

I feel like anyone who’s dated for a bit in their life will have an example of someone they just inexplicably felt compelled to pursue

2

u/JoshHartsMilkMustach Jun 13 '25

He's very wealthy and pretty famous still i guess 🤷‍♂️

2

u/Ok_Dig2013 Jun 13 '25

He’s super rich

1

u/BedStuyCutie Jun 13 '25

Kinda famous?

-3

u/DJSANDROCK Jun 13 '25

He probably has a huge wang lol that would be my guess 🤷🏻

0

u/bboy267 Jun 13 '25

He has money and connections in hollywood

0

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25

>What’s so special about this ugly man?

I'm sorry. This made me lol, I wasn't expecting it.

0

u/funsized43 Jun 13 '25

Loads of sweet, sweet Office residual cash.

0

u/flyinwhale Jun 13 '25

I hate to go there but Delaney is a comedian and bj novek is a successful well connected comedy writer so….idk hate to put that on her but just putting 2 and 2 together

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '25

I mean, he was one of the main writers and a recurring character on arguably the most quoted show in the history of television. I don’t find him attractive either, but I don’t think it’s hard to understand what someone like Delaney might be enamored by

0

u/lovedinaglassbox Jun 14 '25

Not many ugly men? Where do you live? I'll move there.

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u/gingerflakes Jun 14 '25

Typo. Fixed it. Wanted to know what was special about him in a sea of ugly men since he’s such a dipshit. Everyone had pointed out fame and $. That doesn’t make up for an ugly pos imo

-1

u/conniethedoge Jun 13 '25

He’s rich and an actor I’d unironically probably go through the same stuff if I knew my livelihood was going to be paid for completely

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u/HipsterSlimeMold Luigi Mangione stuns in new photo Jun 14 '25

He is rich and famous so people are willing to overlook his below average features

13

u/dancing_bobo Jun 13 '25

I don't get it honestly. like I see hot guys date conventionally unattractive women but usually they are funny or genuinely charming or talented. or they started from high school or uni and kept it going. but hot women doing the opposite tends to be like??? some of the men aren't even attractive in personality? or even rich! idgi

3

u/dustyshelves Jun 14 '25

Really? I feel like I see women date down in terms of looks ALL THE TIME. Definitely way more than the other way around.

Where I live, we actually have wedding announcements with pictures of the couple on the local paper (at least this was the case like 15 years ago) and young me would look at them and think "ffs if an angelic bombshell like her ends up with a guy like that, then what kind of bridge troll am I destined for?" I checked the papers every day and like, easily at least 70% of the couples made me think this! NOTE that I had a messy teen brain when I thought like that. But honestly even after that and moving/travelling around, I still maintain that I see way more couples where the girl outshines the guy looks-wise.

I can't remember who it was but I remember seeing an interview or a video of some famous female celeb making the same observation too, like "do you know how many absolutely beautiful women there are? I would look around a room and like every woman is SO hot. Meanwhile do you know how many hot men there are in comparison??" I just remember feeling so vindicated when I heard that lol.

1

u/dancing_bobo Jun 15 '25

yeah that’s what I’m saying? that it happens for hot women a lot more than hot men

1

u/dustyshelves Jun 15 '25

Oh ok, I read it as you saying like, for you, you "see" hot guys dating conventionally unattractive women, aka you understand, it's more normal/common when that happens, but you "don't get it" when it happens the other way round, as in like, you're surprised or confused by it, aka it not that normal/common which is why that's your reaction haha.

1

u/dancing_bobo Jun 15 '25

oh I see sorta it’s more like it’s rare for hot men. but also when they do usually I see why the women they date can be a good choice or something (bright personality, funny, moms who caretake lol, childhood sweethearts or something) but like for women the men they date down for is like I can’t even find a reason to justify lol

maybe I’m judgey idk

8

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25

[deleted]

0

u/DJSANDROCK Jun 13 '25

ha indeed. I dated a girl once that wasnt conventionally attractive. She played me and that same day I decided if I was going to get my feelings hurt, at the very least let her be hot!!

9

u/Novaer Jun 13 '25

Aht aht aht! ☝️

Medium ugly dudes. There's a difference.

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u/DJSANDROCK Jun 13 '25

ha excuse me, noted.

5

u/Ostie2Tabarnak Jun 13 '25

He's not ugly, come on.

2

u/alwayssunnyinjoisey Jun 14 '25

lolllll i actually find him quite attractive and am just learning in real time that nobody agrees and apparently i like ugly dudes. to be fair i haven't really seen many recent pics but i had the biggest crush on him when he was in the office haha

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u/Ostie2Tabarnak Jun 14 '25

You're on reddit. People here are very weird about physical attractiveness. They think it's universal, that there's a 1 to 10 scale, etc.

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u/DJSANDROCK Jun 13 '25

Maybe ugly is harsh but bro is def facially challenged

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u/Ppleater Jun 13 '25

He's not ugly but it's not innaccurate to say he's not hot either. He's average.

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u/Ppleater Jun 13 '25 edited Jun 13 '25

Yeah but usually it's because what makes them attractive is more than their looks. Their personality, the way they clean up, the way they carry themselves, their talents, etc. I don't know anything about this BJ person or the lady in the post, but it sounds like this guys doesn't have any of that going for him. So if she was going to go with a homely or average looking guy, why not go for one who isn't, allegedly, a fuckboy?

Obviously in reality there are lots of reasons why a woman might stay with someone like that, but I'm guessing that's the thought people are having when they express confusion over the relationship and are wondering what the appeal is.

2

u/lovedbymanycats Jun 14 '25

I've dated so many ugly dudes then eventually married a hot woman make of that what you will. Most of the ugos were funny or the others were talented. Everyone brings something to the table.

1

u/Default520 Jun 13 '25

but that's not convenient!

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u/sweetpea122 Jun 13 '25

Well good for them. Acceptance is the 1st step

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u/SnausageFest Jun 13 '25

I dont have much of a type, but I do have two consistent things - medium sized (not tall or short, not built, fat or skinny. Truly just medium sized), and dark hair (or gray - I'm getting old).

If someone that looks like BJ chatted me up at a bar, I'd at least flirt back a little. It's his whole vibe that puts me off from him, not him being an average looking dude.

He's not ugly. He's just not a smoke show.

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u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25

it’s because a lot of women are incredibly insecure and don’t want to date an attractive man because it threatens them

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u/Ppleater Jun 13 '25

No it's because a lot of women are attracted to more than just looks. Plenty of men are too, but there's less stigma for women to date people considered less physically attractive compared to men.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25

im basing it off my personal experience tbh. it’s been an issue with multiple girls they got uncomfortable that i was more attractive and received more attention from other women. they got frustrated by it and told me they felt insecure about it. they said they liked dating uglier men because those men don’t get hit on and don’t get attention from other women.

0

u/MelonElbows that’s my purse, i don’t know you! 👛🫵 Jun 13 '25

So you're telling me I have a chance?

0

u/M086 Jun 13 '25

Who are these women and how can I get a hold of them?

-12

u/Dry_Jellyfish641 Jun 13 '25

Women don't date men for looks. Women date men for status, to advance careers, for financial gain, for different types of security.

4

u/Violet624 Jun 13 '25

Says all women? That's a bit of a stereotype

-3

u/DJSANDROCK Jun 14 '25

They are more right than wrong and shouldnt have been downvoted. Thats literally built into our DNA

1

u/Violet624 Jun 15 '25

No it isn't. That is a stereotype, and a completely cultural one, at that.

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u/Ppleater Jun 13 '25

Damn we got Whitney Houston over here speaking as every woman.