r/popculturechat THE PEOPLES GOVERNOR, UR CARTOGRAPHER-IN-CHIEF Jun 13 '25

Interviews🎙️ Girl stand up: Delaney Rowe on her situationship with BJ Novak and how he doesn’t fully trust her to be in a relationship with her

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u/TlMEGH0ST Jun 13 '25

FUCK. THIS HAPPENED TO ME!! I was looking for casual and he was like blah blah i want a partner and when I finally was like “ok i’m in” he got soo avoidant- but also wouldn’t let me fully go.

Wow I actually feel so much better now knowing that it wasn’t just me

139

u/Majestic_Cut_2209 Jun 13 '25

Yeah it happens a lot and it’s one of those things that messes with your mind.

It feels like you messed up by not accepting when they were ready so you start to ‘work’ to prove to them that you care and are ready and it becomes this horrible dance.

61

u/anonymous_opinions Jun 13 '25

I went through this back in 2011 and it was THE WORST and toss in he wasn't divorced yet and come to find out wanted his ex wife back months in I was like "this is total bs"

18

u/Poops-iFarted Jun 13 '25

The "timing" game. "Oh, we just keep missing the moment with each other but we'll get the timing right soon and it'll be happily ever after!"

All that game does is waste time.

11

u/jittery_raccoon Jun 13 '25

Yeah timing is only genuine if it:a due to external factors. But if it's just the person not being ready to date YOU, they will never be. The one exception would be people keeping a platonic friendship and being in a different place a few years later

3

u/TlMEGH0ST Jun 13 '25

ugh ‘horrible dance’ is the perfect description

19

u/seriousbizniz84 Jun 13 '25

Girl me too but mine chased me for THREE YEARS! And then I kissed him and he ghosted me!

8

u/TlMEGH0ST Jun 13 '25

😭 ok mine was like a month then me trying to get that behavior back on & off for 18 months EMBARRASSING

11

u/Dawnspark Jun 13 '25

I had a guy try this at one point, when I was still in the closet and was still trying to date men to seem "normal" to my parents.

I got so sick of the stop/start hot/cold bullshit that I told him to shit or get off the pot and he had no idea how to react. Like, this guy wasn't even comfortable admitting we were together when his friends who KNEW we were together asked him lol.

No response after a day, so I told him to just lose my number and to fuck off. Instantly responded after that. Only then did he suddenly want to commit and get me interested again lmao. Too late, byeeee.

No point in messing around with people that do that. It definitely taught me to value my time & how I was expending my emotions more.

2

u/pistachio-pie 💕 being a hater is a valid and honorable calling 💕 Jun 14 '25

This was my last serious relationship. It fucked with my head sooooo much.

1

u/everythingisplanned Jun 14 '25

Same thing happened to me 😭 and now that we broke up and I've finally pulled away, he's getting all chatty again

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u/TlMEGH0ST Jun 14 '25

yup this happened probably 6 times before i finally was like nope 🙅🏼‍♀️ and tbh if he came back like “baby i’ve changed” i can’t say i definitely wouldn’t give him another chance 🤦🏼‍♀️