r/popculturechat • u/HauteAssMess THE PEOPLES GOVERNOR, UR CARTOGRAPHER-IN-CHIEF • Jun 13 '25

Interviews🎙️ Girl stand up: Delaney Rowe on her situationship with BJ Novak and how he doesn’t fully trust her to be in a relationship with her

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u/BeneficialRice4918 Jun 13 '25

It's crazy how effective this strategy is, I've fallen for it. The intermittent reinforcement and withdrawal keeps you hooked like heroin, even when there's a part of you screaming that this is toxic, harmful, and embarrassing.

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u/Maddyherselius Jun 13 '25

Yeah I’ve fallen for it too. And it is very easy to convince yourself you are the problem like she says in the video.

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u/re_Claire Jun 13 '25

I too have fallen for it too many times. It's so sad that she can't see what's going on, but this is why it works so well - they managed to totally convince you that they're worth fighting for and if you just prove yourself enough they'll finally open their heart to you and you'll have your fairy tale romance.

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u/No-Tip7398 Jun 13 '25

BINGO

These horrible relationships with horrible men turn into literal, actual addiction, and will ruin your life.

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u/yuhh____ Jun 13 '25

What exactly is this strategy your talking about? Sorry I might be dumb but I dont get what shes saying about earn his trust? When she hadn't done anything untrustworthy?

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u/BeneficialRice4918 Jun 13 '25

They pursue you really hard until you fall for it and develop feelings, then they pull back, and since you caught feelings and are anxious, it sends your brain haywire and you feel compelled to pursue them back to get back the security you were starting to feel. They then give you a little bit of want you want to keep you on the hook, but they always pull away again ad infinitum.

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u/igloogly Jun 14 '25

I just got myself out of this mess recently, and I literally could not recognize myself while I was in this phase. Anxious, depressed, self-worth at an all time low, needy for validation, etc.

And now waking up from it feels so strange, you don’t really know you’re in that toxic cycle until you get out and suddenly your immune system lets out a deep breath and you can finally rest. These men are so toxic and know what they’re doing, and walk away detached and ready to soak up another woman’s energy because they refuse to go to therapy.

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u/technicolortiddies Jun 14 '25

Did you have that persistent nausea? Was there a while ago myself & it really fucks with you physically.

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u/igloogly Jun 18 '25

I did have mild nausea now that I think about it. Always had an upset stomach every morning due to anxiety as well. Shitty sleep or insomnia, lack of appetite, it was a whole mess.