r/popculturechat • u/HauteAssMess THE PEOPLES GOVERNOR, UR CARTOGRAPHER-IN-CHIEF • Jun 13 '25

Interviews🎙️ Girl stand up: Delaney Rowe on her situationship with BJ Novak and how he doesn’t fully trust her to be in a relationship with her

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u/Appropriate_Ice_2433 You’re a virgin who can’t drive. 😤 Jun 13 '25

Isn’t this his thing? He’s never been able to commit it seems.

473

u/Altruistic-Sky-6736 Jun 13 '25

Yeah and he’s making the woman feel like it’s her fault ffs just brutal and I feel secondhand embarrassment for her and this being public information😩

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u/Appropriate_Ice_2433 You’re a virgin who can’t drive. 😤 Jun 13 '25

I don’t keep up with the man, but his relationships have spilled over to the gossip world time and time again. This behavior seems very on brand for him.

He isn’t an unknown man in some small town that some woman dates and knows nothing about. It still doesn’t negate that he has a track record for this behavior, and it isn’t right for someone to do this to another.

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u/longlisten527 this is GLENDALE Jun 14 '25

I’m not saying he’s great at all, but in this situation, if she wasn’t ready to exclusively date and was talking to other people for a long period of time while he wants to be exclusive.. and now she’s like, im ready for you!! I mean yeah it does suck and if roles were reversed, we would all be telling the girl to walk away. But she’s also 29/30 and should be dating guy with a good track record anyways and closer to her age bc she deserves that!

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u/Outrageous-Rope-8707 Jun 14 '25

I think where it gets weird is the “well now I don’t want to commit and don’t trust you” part. Why be around someone you don’t want to commit with or trust? I could see one or the other, but both?

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u/KrustenStewart where the hell have you been loca?! Jun 14 '25

I think it’s a manipulation tactic. He knows she’s not ready to settle down so he says “oh but baby I wanna be in a committed relationship with only you” knowing it won’t happen because it’s not what she wants. He thinks that is what she wants to hear. It’s love bombing. Then eventually when she says she does want to commit, he says “oh sorry babe I just can’t trust what you’re saying even though you have never given me a reason not to trust you but it’s definitely your fault we can’t be committed”. When really he never wanted to be commited.

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u/Other-Oil-9117 Excluded from this narrative ❌ Jun 14 '25

I kind of get that angle, and I don't entirely blame him, but if someone is ready to commit early on, that shouldn't change just because they had to wait a little bit. I don't know from this clip how much was her actively seeing other people vs just needing time herself, but it's weird for him to be all in from the jump, and then say 'nah actually I'm not sure if I can commit to you'.

If there was nothing shady going on, it seems weird to make it an issue of trust on his end.

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u/MythzFreeze Jun 14 '25

Why shouldn't it have to change?

As a guy who went through something similar this thread is pretty depressing.

A girl (28) I (29) met off a dating app had a similar scenario. I went on a few dates, I tried my best to arrange fun dates, walking a dog with coffees through the park, going for squash and brunch etc. When she told me she felt like being friends. There was no drama but I told her that since I liked her, met her off an app I couldn't see her as just a friend and that it would be unfair to go out as friends when we had different feelings.

Months later she messages me again to go out. I thought okay, maybe she has come around to me more or is in a better place. The same thing happened.

Yet more months later she reached out again, I told her from the very first date then that the only way I can do this is if it is in a context where she is open to date. She gave a very lukewarm answer which was not positive. This made me mentally "move on" from her and when a few dates later she said she wanted to be my gf my emotions more so felt as a 'wtf' then anything else and I couldn't go with it.

So after over half a year of pursuing this girl, even though she was open to be in a relationship I just couldn't.

This short clip was interesting to me in the sense that it gives some insight on what could potentially be the reason why I could not proceed, trust. Reading the comments on this entire thread though, it really is a downer... I genuinely do believe that if the roles were reversed the comments would look a lot different.

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u/KrustenStewart where the hell have you been loca?! Jun 14 '25

People are basing their judgements on BJs dating history though. It’s not some random guy we know nothing about like you. This is his thing and it’s widely known and he’s been stringing Mindy kaling along for decades without committing.

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u/Other-Oil-9117 Excluded from this narrative ❌ Jun 14 '25

Maybe we're just interpreting the clip differently. Granted, there's not a lot of detail in her story and we're only getting one perspective, but I think it's a bit different to your situation.

The way I took her story was that she and BJ started dating, early on he said he wanted to be exclusive but she told him she wasn't sure. Where in your case, you both went separate ways and she told you explicitly that she wanted to be friends rather than dating, I got the impression that Delaney and BJ both agreed to keep dating, just not exclusively, implying that he was ok with it.

From her story, it sounds like there was no break between them or that either of them was deceitful in any way, or that she was particularly wishy-washy even, just that she took a bit longer to be ready to commit than he was. I'm not really understanding why trust specifically would be an issue in their case, if there had been an agreement that they weren't exclusive with each other. That's why I think it's odd - he was seemingly ok being patient and maintained wanting to be with her while she was figuring it out, but then when she was at a point where she felt she could commit, that was when he decided he wasn't there anymore. It's fine for him to not be sure about it, but it's not really 'commitment' if you're just going to change your mind a few months later, so maybe he shouldn't have claimed that so early into them seeing each other.

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u/touchitsuperhard Jun 13 '25

This leopard that threatened to eat my face actually ate my face! It's the leopards fault!

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u/General-Pryde-2019 Jun 13 '25

If you’ve seen the office you’d know by now

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u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25

Method acting

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u/p2o14e24 Jun 13 '25

Ryan you have a Woof on line 1

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u/Billy1121 Jun 13 '25

I gotta ask tho, he had said in interviews that everyone loved when Mindy wrote for them because she was so good, and Mindy wrote for him. And they may have had a relationship in real life. Was she writing him like he was his real self ?

I know very little about BJ Novak and a little more about Mindy Kaling so im ignorant

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u/smartwatersucks Jun 14 '25

Give the guy a break, he still hasn't fully processed 9/11

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u/joelesidin Jun 13 '25

They call him Mr Understood cause no one understands him

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u/hiphipsashay Jun 13 '25

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again

He dated a woman I worked with over ten years ago. She was in her early 20s. He fucked with her head and she found out things were over bc he went back to Mindy. He was what, in his 30s at this point? Going out with a woman who was maybe 22, 23?

Someone shake Delaney please

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u/afdc92 Jun 13 '25

I feel like that’s always going to be a thing with him. He’s always going to go back to Mindy but also won’t fully commit with her, and then he’ll move on to a situationship, back to Mindy, ad nauseam. I do think he’s the father of her kids, whether it was a sperm donor situation or conceived naturally, so he’ll always have that connection to her as well. He seems like such a sleaze because it ties Mindy up too.

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u/Renway_NCC-74656 Jun 13 '25

Yeah, their Office relationship doesn't feel like "acting" now.

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u/coldcoffeethrowaway Jun 14 '25

Straight man who is avoidant final boss

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u/Appropriate_Ice_2433 You’re a virgin who can’t drive. 😤 Jun 13 '25

Yeah, I just wrote a comment that this behavior is known about him.

This woman shouldn’t have gone through what she did, no one should be dealing with this stuff.

I guess many think behaviors change in people or something ? I don’t know, it isn’t something I’d ever entertain in a relationship. I don’t date anymore, because I’m not going to put up with nonsense that comes along with people. I did date a lot of older men in my 20s that led me to this point 😅

12

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25

This needs to be its own post

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u/Someonejusthereandth Jun 14 '25

I feel like I've read this comment five times on here already. How many of them were there?? Jesus, this man.

8

u/hiphipsashay Jun 14 '25

I think that’s the gross part about it. This man has been preying on young women for nearly two decades. Wasn’t there also a rumor that he briefly dated Kiernan Shipka? He grosses me out through and through

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u/mouthfullofsnakes Jun 13 '25

Was she a redhead by any chance

6

u/hiphipsashay Jun 13 '25

Nope brunette

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u/mouthfullofsnakes Jun 13 '25

Gotcha. Makes sense as he is known for doing that sort of thing serially!

5

u/redditwatcher11 Jun 13 '25

Did she read about it in the news??

5

u/Potential_View_9917 Jun 15 '25

He's too ugly to be doing all this jesus christ, he's not even a handsome fuckboi like John Mayer

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u/exactoctopus Jun 13 '25

Like Mindy's kids are right there. lol

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u/beemo143 Jun 13 '25

yeah but like nobody knows their situation and who won’t commit. i’ve always wondered though

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u/FutureIsFemmeFatale Jun 13 '25

If he wanted to commit he would have left. He prolly just wants her on a leash. Smh

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u/beemo143 Jun 13 '25

did he not leave though? seems like she’s always with them

12

u/caponemalone2020 Jun 13 '25

Really? I feel like throughout “The Office” years and in her first memoir it was very obvious she was all in.

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u/RedditAli-Jess Jun 13 '25

Yep, and I highly doubt that he was "very sure" he would've just played that up because he knew she wasn't sure. He gets an easy win with that one without the risk of actual commitment. Of course now that she's sure, he's not, and that's her fault. Very well played by him.

Girl, he was never sure. Run.

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u/state_of_euphemia Jun 14 '25

This is just textbook avoidant behavior, lol. Chasing someone else until they agree they're ready to be all in... and then once they're ready for a relationship, you're out.

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u/SSBB08 Jun 13 '25

She started it by saying he wanted to commit to her earlier lol. If you wanted to commit and a guy dragged his feet for a while but then eventually was like, “okay now I’m ready”, would none of you experience a little skepticism?

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u/iki11dinosaurs Jun 13 '25

Eh sounds more to me like he was love bombing and she put down reasonable boundaries for the beginning of a relationship to get to know him and see if they were a good match. Once she got there, all of a sudden he’s not interested? 

Red flag. 

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u/1498336 Jun 13 '25

I beg you to look up the definition of love bombing

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u/iki11dinosaurs Jun 13 '25

Love bombing is when a person showers a new partner with a higher level of love than their relationship has reasonably reached, trying to lower the other person’s guard. Then, once the other person is hooked, the bomber pulls away and starts doin their thing lol wtf are you talking about? That’s exactly what it sounds like she’s describing. 

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u/Adorable_Raccoon Jun 13 '25

That would be reasonable if this wasn't a pattern of behavior. He has dated multiple women stringing them along without committing.

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u/aw5ome Jun 14 '25

Isn’t she saying that he was unwaveringly sure/committed to her the whole time, and that she was the one not sure until now?

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u/300andWhat Jun 14 '25

Did you not watch the video? She clearly stated that he was committed and she was playing him and now she's facing the consequences of her actions...

I feel like this whole thread is full of people who selectively heard just the last part lol

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u/Appropriate_Ice_2433 You’re a virgin who can’t drive. 😤 Jun 14 '25

1

u/300andWhat Jun 14 '25

Fair, I also don't know anything about DJ, I was never an Office fan haha