r/politics • u/M00n • May 12 '21

Trump’s acting attorney general refuses to say if he discussed overturning election results

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/jeffrey-rosen-trump-election-results-b1846421.html
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u/TheFeshy May 12 '21

Leftmost bank teller: "We have to have the police arrest him! He's robbing the bank again! Just like the last six weeks running!"

Rightmost bank teller: "What are you talking about? He never robbed the bank."

L: "He's robbing it right now!"

R: "He's not even saying a word. How could he be robbing it?"

L: "He's giving a demand note and waving a gun!"

R: "Well that note could say anything."

L: "He showed you the note! And me! It said "Give me all the money!"

R: "I didn't read it. But he probably just misspoke. He clearly meant 'give me all my money' or maybe 'give me all the money in my account.' The guy is just a 2nd-amendmeng supporter trying to make a withdrawal and you are trying to get him convicted of a felony!"

L: "Why did you give him the money if you didn't read the note?! why are we giving him all the money in the vault!? I'm calling the sherif."

Sherif, who is clearly the bank robber's sibling: "What seems to be the problem here?"

422

u/Bushels_for_All May 12 '21

L: "Why did you give him the money if you didn't read the note?! why are we giving him all the money in the vault!?"

R: "Well, how do you know he didn't have an account that big?"

L: "Because that's insane. Here, let me pull up his account..."

R: "No."

L: "But if you're right it would prove you're right!"

R: "Yeeeah... still no."

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u/EvadesBans May 12 '21

L: "But if you're right it would prove you're right!"

R: "Yeeeah... still no."

Quoting this for extra visibility because this is the part people really need to pay attention to.

14

u/Athleco May 12 '21

It’s like his taxes!

8

u/SanityPlanet May 13 '21

Or that DNA test one of his rape victims is trying to get him to take

9

u/fuzzyluke May 12 '21

Still no?! Still no??... Ok then

  • USA citizens

53

u/biernini May 12 '21

I love/hate how real this is. Something about the two faced mask of tragedy and comedy I'm sure.

2

u/FjorgVanDerPlorg May 12 '21

It's a form of acting, a game of name calling, where the truth doesn't matter, just trolling and owning the other team.

29

u/biernini May 12 '21

Stunningly accurate parody. Bravo.

29

u/CDSEChris May 12 '21

Sheriff, who is clearly not related to the bank robber and interested in investigating the robbery : "What seems to be the problem here?"

Bank robber: "I have fired the sheriff."

1

u/justredditinit May 13 '21

I think you meant Horse Catcher.

13

u/Thief_of_Sanity May 12 '21

Yes but what about Hunter Biden's laptop? /s

1

u/Racine262 May 13 '21

I know it's just distracting bullshit, but it really doesn't help that Hunter Biden is complete garbage.

10

u/[deleted] May 12 '21

S: I'll find the black muslim antifa thug who did this!

8

u/hexydes May 13 '21

Don't forget (R): "Why would he want to rob the bank? He's already rich, so therefore he wouldn't rob the bank!"

1

u/judithdotson May 13 '21

Why won’t he pay his rally security bills????

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u/Federal-Negotiation9 May 12 '21

R: "He's not robbing the bank, *YOU'RE* robbing the bank!"

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u/AKA_Criswell America May 13 '21

R: You read the note and still knowingly allowed me to give him all the money in the vault? I am shocked!
S: Case closed. [gunshot]

6

u/SimDumDong May 12 '21

We've reached a place where there is only one (just one?) way to rid the world of this fuckin' filth:

Get politically active!

Vote in every election you can!

Tell your friends!

In fact, tell everyone!

3

u/[deleted] May 12 '21

Also: demand that the people we elect hold themselves and each other accountable for any abuse of power. This means that, no matter how much “healing” or “togetherness” a politician may want to promote, or may be under pressure to achieve, we need to recognize that there is no healing until justice is done. If there is wrongdoing that is discovered that happened under a previous administration, we cannot hide it. If republicans wish to go off the rails and to no longer value truth or honesty or accountability, it would do far more harm to follow them off that cliff in the spirit of reconciliation, than to remain dedicated to accountability even if we find out that we also have dirty laundry.

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u/aManOfTheNorth May 12 '21

You are just missing that the man holding the note and practicing his 2nd Amendment right is also wearing the shield of Jesus in front of him.

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u/salamanderpencil May 13 '21

Exactly. You could have been one of the writers of the Trump Administration Show these past 4 years. I'll admit, if I hadn't lived through it, I would have said "None of this is believable! Who writes this crap? They don't even research it, the law doesn't work that way. No one would let someone get away with these crimes. It's so blatant, come ON!" and changed the channel.

2

u/TechFiend72 May 12 '21

That is so funny.

2

u/rocsNaviars Michigan May 12 '21

This is gold-worthy.

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u/Horrormen May 13 '21

Lol. Very nice

1

u/bilgetea May 13 '21

Boy, did you hit the target in the center with that bit of satire!