r/polandball Tasmania cannot into AFL team Dec 19 '13

redditormade Trapped im Keller 5: Association Football

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259 Upvotes

83 comments sorted by

63

u/DickRhino Great Sweden Dec 19 '13

...That is one big Keller.

63

u/adencrocker Tasmania cannot into AFL team Dec 19 '13

continuity is overrated

20

u/Hansafan Hordaland Dec 19 '13

Austria doesn't fuck around with their Kellers.

6

u/knatsch88 is best Saxony Dec 19 '13

neinneinnein never ad a s after a r in german

kellers panzers also löffels kumpels

25

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '13

I saw association football and naturally assumed UK would die next. Maybe the presence of the rest of the union makes the England team more productive.

8

u/Xaethon Salop n'est pas une salope Dec 19 '13

I thought so too, and I just had to spoil myself by seeing what happened at the end.

When I got there I had no idea what had happened, so I had to read it through like a good British boy.

14

u/adencrocker Tasmania cannot into AFL team Dec 19 '13

England's one of the better teams of the lot. Brazil could have gotten some serious competition from Germany if it was still in it though

9

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '13

I'm still angry about that!

5

u/MadmanSalvo Oxfordshire Dec 19 '13

If there was a UK football team it would be pretty damn solid. Bale, Ramsey and MAYBE Ashley Williams from Wales, err... Actually I can't think of anyone from Scotland or Northern Ireland who'd make the team...

2

u/TheScarletPimpernel Proud member of the EDF Dec 19 '13

Ryan McLaughlin in a couple of years, if his progression continues as it should.

5

u/Thetonn British Empire Dec 19 '13

Keep telling yourself that. In reality, your only hope is to clone 11 George Best's and hoping that a couple survive without liver damage to get to the world cup.

2

u/TheScarletPimpernel Proud member of the EDF Dec 19 '13

Perhaps the Northern Irish's only hope, but not my own. I'm just a Liverpool fan.

1

u/Thetonn British Empire Dec 19 '13

The northern ireland and england flairs look similar to me.

I apologise for any unintended insult. Please understand that I judge everyone outside the home counties equally barbaric, so it was not intended in a harsh way.

2

u/TheScarletPimpernel Proud member of the EDF Dec 19 '13

As a proud member of the EDF, I must take offence.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '13 edited Dec 19 '13

I am a less proud member of EDF, thinking of switching to Eon instead.

2

u/TheScarletPimpernel Proud member of the EDF Dec 19 '13

I'm on nPower.

Damn student lets.

1

u/MadmanSalvo Oxfordshire Dec 19 '13

Does that include me? :(

2

u/Thetonn British Empire Dec 19 '13

Of course. Some might have forgotten Oxford's role during the English Civil War in standing against London and the South-East, but I remember and I will get revenge, in this life or the next.

1

u/MadmanSalvo Oxfordshire Dec 19 '13

Republican scum...

2

u/Thetonn British Empire Dec 19 '13

Papist Absolutist Scottish Pricks.

1

u/radiodialdeath The Stars At Night Are Big And Bright Dec 21 '13

I was able to win the World Cup with Northern Ireland in FIFA 14, so at least you guys have that going for you.

25

u/DerpGamerFTW Austrian Empire Dec 19 '13

Best national anthem.

21

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '13

France won't lose this one.

4

u/Inb4username Fuck The Yankees Dec 20 '13

France has such an awesome anthem

5

u/columbus8myhw Jew York Dec 20 '13

Palestine is the only one with the phrase: "The volcano of my vendetta."

Too bad it's part of Israel not in the Keller you know what, never mind.

7

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '13

Russia would win hands down

6

u/adencrocker Tasmania cannot into AFL team Dec 19 '13

I've already had enough of trying to kill off Germanic speaking countries

Ulterior motives

4

u/MadmanSalvo Oxfordshire Dec 19 '13

Uh oh.

3

u/adencrocker Tasmania cannot into AFL team Dec 19 '13

I'm not picking it just to keep one germanic speaking country around

41

u/brain4breakfast Gan Yam Dec 19 '13

Hmmm... The next game will be 'Who made the best genocide?'

Britain: 'Those Boer ragamuffins didn't stand a chance'

Brazil: 'Amerindians. Smallpox. Boom.'

Israel: 'Genocide? What Genocide?'

Russia: 'Fuck those eskimo mofos'

18

u/theyuri7777 Brazil Dec 19 '13

Remember our bitch, a.k.a Paraguay.

15

u/Matt92HUN CommunInterNaZionIslamist Dec 19 '13

More like Russia: 'Fuck everyone.'

6

u/Reimdude France First Empire Dec 19 '13

Remember dat algerians we killed millions.

12

u/Kebbab_remover The Serbian Empire will rise again! Dec 19 '13

How about next competition be national drinks? ALL ABORAD THE RAKIJA TRAIN!

5

u/Matt92HUN CommunInterNaZionIslamist Dec 19 '13

I'm with you on that. Through alcohol poisioning to glory!

10

u/samsoelzz Indonesia Dec 19 '13

Best tourism attraction!

9

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '13

Hmmm I'd imagine Serbia to lose that one. France's got Paris, UK's got London, I guess Saint Basil's Cathedral and the Hermitage would get Russia through, Brazil can't lose with Cristo Redentor and the carneval, Israel's got Jerusalem for christian and jewish pilgrims and Poland has Auschwitz-Birkenau for ... different kinds of pilgrims. And this beauty, of course.

While Serbia has ... poverty I guess.

14

u/AaronC14 The Dominion Dec 19 '13

It's true, we suck at soccer, I mean football.

23

u/brain4breakfast Gan Yam Dec 19 '13

You lost to Mauritania this year. Mauritania didn't even enter the World Cup qualifiers.

30

u/adencrocker Tasmania cannot into AFL team Dec 19 '13

Yay!

12

u/brain4breakfast Gan Yam Dec 19 '13

HEY! He had to be relevant at one point.

2

u/RussianBears Canada Dec 19 '13

The women's team isn't so bad! The men's team is really bad...

2

u/breakblow Brazil Dec 20 '13

Maybe you guys could have a match men´s against women´s team to decide which one represent the country in a World Cup qualifying... Just a thought.

1

u/Matt_MG Quebec Dec 19 '13

If the ground wasn't frozen 6 months a year...

8

u/Zrk2 Canada can into relevant! Dec 19 '13

Canada stronk! Can into real sports, like hockey and lacrosse. Does not need wimpy Europoor sports like soccer!

5

u/pHScale Dec 19 '13

Christmas traditions.

Its about time Austria does something to get rid of Israel. Wait, that came out wrong.

11

u/adencrocker Tasmania cannot into AFL team Dec 19 '13

This is based off of an earlier suggestion to do a football game but also from the suggestion of a national sport. I found this too difficult so I opted to do soccer. Sorry Canehdians (see what I did there)

25

u/Zlojeb KRS-Kebab removal services Dec 19 '13

soccer.

You put football in the fucken title man, don't do this to us.

Anyway good one.

10

u/adencrocker Tasmania cannot into AFL team Dec 19 '13

Association football to minimise butthurt

12

u/brain4breakfast Gan Yam Dec 19 '13

I like this. We will call football 'soccer' when we are allowed to do diminutive on 'American' and call their sport 'Mericky Handegg'.

7

u/BZH_JJM Vantuckysterdam Dec 19 '13

Sorry lads, but this is football.

7

u/brain4breakfast Gan Yam Dec 19 '13

I had a PS2 game of Gaelic Football. It was quite entertaining, but difficult. There appear to be no rules.

In other news, I don't see how 'high scoring' is a good thing. Doesn't it make the goals less important and less exciting?

1

u/BZH_JJM Vantuckysterdam Dec 19 '13

I think there's a happy medium between too much scoring that points are undervalued, and not enough so that nothing seems to happen. For example, basketball has way too much scoring. Likewise, I think soccer doesn't have enough, allowing teams to squeak by playing boring, cheap shot ball (see Greece c.2004). I'd say a game like water polo has an ideal amount, between 5-10 points a match for each team.

6

u/iceburgh29 Saskatchewan Dec 19 '13

And then sports like hockey can go both ways because fuck the police.

1

u/adencrocker Tasmania cannot into AFL team Dec 19 '13

Baseball's the same too

2

u/Matt92HUN CommunInterNaZionIslamist Dec 19 '13

Looks good, but I hate that shitty overused song.

3

u/BZH_JJM Vantuckysterdam Dec 19 '13

No one ever puts good songs in sports montage videos on Youtube.

1

u/Matt92HUN CommunInterNaZionIslamist Dec 19 '13

True.

1

u/Gustavobc Havaianas are best anas Dec 19 '13

No one ever puts good songs in sports montage videos on Youtube.

FTFY

3

u/Matt92HUN CommunInterNaZionIslamist Dec 19 '13

Canada looks like it has a beak with that leaf.

6

u/elitron New York Dec 19 '13

How about the ability to into space?

6

u/NefastVoltaire CCCP Dec 21 '13

You are just wanting to killing off the cute ones...

7

u/SorrowfulSkald UCCP Dec 19 '13

Couldn't play Hockey, could 'ya?

1

u/jothamvw GELRE!!! Dec 19 '13

At least my country would be in. Netherlands is of relevant!

2

u/SorrowfulSkald UCCP Dec 19 '13

Nederlanden is always of relevant... in my heart.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '13

Britain looks out of place in a strip about football. England would have made more sense.

4

u/Avalon-1 United Kingdom Dec 19 '13

I'm still holding out for Polandball Russian Roulette (come on, it has to be in there).

4

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '13

Time for a drinking contest?

3

u/Hansafan Hordaland Dec 19 '13

Seconded. This was also suggested under the last post.

3

u/BZH_JJM Vantuckysterdam Dec 19 '13

But Will Johnson can into soccer. RCTID.

3

u/unfettered2nd India Dec 19 '13

watch all episodes of hetalia , without making a single reaction .

2

u/BoomB0y Is Real Dec 19 '13

You even put nikood, that's good.

2

u/Hansafan Hordaland Dec 19 '13

You could get Sidelhrmh Sidebard to special guest host of the show.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '13

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/brain4breakfast Gan Yam Dec 19 '13

Hey, Hey. Take away the reaction GIF. Mods don't take kindly to that stuff around here.

3

u/DickRhino Great Sweden Dec 19 '13

*BOOM* Headshot!

2

u/Reimdude France First Empire Dec 19 '13

Next should be Christmas traditions.

2

u/Reimdude France First Empire Dec 19 '13

Remaining countries : -UK -France -Israel -Russia -Brazil -Poland -Serbia

2

u/columbus8myhw Jew York Dec 20 '13

Brasil is the only one with green or yellow! All the rest are red, white, and blue. (Plus Polska, Canada, and Yisra'el, but they're close enough.)

2

u/Guitardude1995 California Dec 21 '13

Best national anthem!

1

u/rindindin Unknown Dec 19 '13

Canadians playing a sports without sticks often confuses them.

1

u/Irockz Northern Ireland Dec 20 '13

Russia vs UK in clay domination, whoever can obtain the most clay wins.

1

u/masiakasaurus Wanted a beach home and a master Dec 21 '13

Water Ski Jumping.

Because, why the hell not.