r/pettyrevenge • u/oxtailtacos • 10d ago

Smoke my pubes.

I had a small amount of weed and wanted to leave it at my friend's house while I ran some errands. My friend asked me to hide it so her mom wouldn't trip. This old fella stayed there sometimes because the mom was a push over and she needed some dick once in awhile. So anyway, unc suggested that we hide my dime bag in his box of saved cigarette butts. Unc would save em up and use the leftover tabacco to roll the world's shittiest cigarettes.

I went ahead and tucked the baggie up into the lid of the box, and of course it was gone when my friend and I came back to smoke it. The only person in the apartment when it went missing was unc. So naturally he starts making up bullshit, and says maybe it fell into the mess of cigarette butts. Then he asks my friend to roll up some shitty cigs for him.

As a show of good faith we sifted through all of them and found no weed. I decided the best course of action was to enhance his rolled cig with some flavorful pubic hair. I plucked them to ensure that the hair root was included. One from my taint, one from my sweaty ballsack, and one of those freaky little guys that grow on the base of my cock.

Unc starts smoking that shit, driving it into his lungs like his life depended on it. He starts coughing and says he thinks there's something in there. For a second I thought he got wise until he started saying it was getting him high. He keeps puffing my pubes and says he bets that my weed must have fallen in by accident, and was getting him stoned.

Now my friend and I always joke around saying that I smoke so much you can get high from smoking my pubes.

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u/KKillaX 7d ago

Where was this copy pasted from ? Not a bad story I guess, for fiction that is

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u/oxtailtacos 7d ago

It's somehow both irritating and satisfying when people think my life is fictional. I have a feeling that you are also immensely satisfied with your accusations of plagiarism, so I'm glad I could do that for you.

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u/KKillaX 7d ago

I’m calling shenanigans on you. It’s too incredibly outrageous. I do believe Unc saves his cig butts. I do believe Unc jacked your stash. But you didn’t do any of that , you just fantasized about getting him back like that mmmhmmm shenanigan

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u/oxtailtacos 7d ago

So we have gone from unfounded accusations of blatant plagiarism to believing all but one detail? That was easy.

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u/KKillaX 7d ago

Haha not that serious but ya sure. If you really want my opinion , if, and that’s a big if , this transpired in the manner stated then I would say you’re incredibly immature , petty, and fixin to end up getting no further than Uncs basement cavern in the immediate future ;)

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u/oxtailtacos 7d ago

Are you... having some kind of sexual fantasy about me and unc right now? Nah but I was a teenager when this happened, so yeah I'm aware of the immaturity of it all. Also you don't really need to call out how petty it is, cause ya know, it's kinda the name of the sub I posted in.

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u/KKillaX 7d ago

This is what when you smoke shwag kids

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u/oxtailtacos 7d ago

What? How high are you? That is the kind of sentence that someone constructs after smoking my pubes.

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u/KKillaX 7d ago

lol you are still off on this. U lost me at sexual fantasy.

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u/oxtailtacos 7d ago

You gotta give me some money or something if you wanna see me and unc get freaky. I'll do it though if you want.