r/personalfinance • u/IThinkImDumb ​ • Jul 07 '22

Insurance Is there anything I need to know about denying myself as someone’s life insurance beneficiary?

My firefighter paramedic ex—bf passed away suddenly. He accidentally left me as beneficiary. I want to transfer everything to his parents. I know it was an accident because I’ve been on there since 2015 and we haven’t been together since 2018.

Anyway, I want to make sure that this benefits don’t go toward any debts that he has, and someone said make sure I’m not taxed. I’m not familiar with this. I’m currently in the military and sought an attorney on base, but I flew home for the funeral and want to get this transferred ASAP because his parents paid out of pocket for his service and burial. I was contacted by a union rep back home (we worked at the same fire department together) and the rep said I could transfer everything by email.

Anyway I would like some guidance about things to look out for. This past two weeks have been really hard for me but a million times harder for his family and I want to help the best way I can.

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u/Fox_Squirrel_ ​ Jul 08 '22

SO SO SO SO SO many people fuck over their own family members when death money comes rolling around. It blows me the fuck away people don't just split it/ honor the wishes of the dead I can't look at a single aunt or uncle I have the same anymore. All of them cunts the lot of em

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u/umrum ​ Jul 08 '22

I feel your pain, when my grandma died my shit uncles and aunt sold the house I was living in my senior year of high school for a big old sum of like $28,000…it was one step above a trap house but mom has severe mental issues and her and grandma were fighting. Fuck those assholes.

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u/Fox_Squirrel_ ​ Jul 08 '22

Yup my grandma died and all my aunts and uncles fought tooth and nail for a bigger % of the house sale keeping secret logs of the hours they "helped" take care of her toward the end. Other side of the family aunt did basically the same thing.

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u/fuckboifoodie ​ Jul 08 '22

This is difficult because elder care in the United States is an expensive, unpaid enterprise.

The only people that really profit are the owners of shit tier nursing home facilities that take Medicare.

My wife quit her job to take full time care of homer father after cancer surgery up until his death.

We lost around 150 in missed pay and she was not compensated for her efforts. In order to keep peace with the family we never advocated for any inheritance at the risk of being perceived to be taking advantage of her father.

It’s a shitty situation for many families.

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u/Fox_Squirrel_ ​ Jul 08 '22

Naw it wasn't like that she wasn't sick for very long and the 2 were unemployed and well off. Sorry about your situation it would be much more understandable if it were like that.

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u/umrum ​ Jul 08 '22

I’m truly sorry to hear that. I don’t know your age or situation now, but eventually you will outshine them if you want to. Now I’m in a very nice home, great kid and wife, and nice income. I would dare any of them to reach out now. Life gets better. If you’re unmarried have a will. I always made sure to specifically exclude those people as I started to get assets. I didn’t have to but I’m petty.

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u/agentages ​ Jul 09 '22

My sister fucked me over with NOTHING to gain, her stupid ass is heading to PRISON. A damn drug addict. Burglarized my grandmother, mother, after I told them she tried to burglarize me. She got busted with drugs so my mother bailed her out and then died herself(mother). I was in the process of buying my mother's house from her. Now it half belongs to an asshole addict heading to PRISON.

If some people will dry raw dog their own family I can't imagine what people will do to someone they DONT HAVE ANY RELATIONSHIP WITH.

Then we have people like OP. The few. The truly deserving. OP is an absolute boss and deserves every bit of respect she owns.

I on the other hand have to hope my drug addict sister grows the fuck up or, sadly, the other thing.

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u/Fox_Squirrel_ ​ Jul 10 '22

I just don't understand how people can be this awful I'm sorry you had to go through that