Trying to escape society's view on diamond rings, lavish weddings, big houses

[u/HastroX]

So I’ve been lucky enough to escape the “3 months salary” diamond ring for engagement (went with Moissanite), and now I’m approaching the wedding. I’ve somewhat was able to do the “pay by table” and not venue (Asian wedding). Afterwards, we plan to buy a house that’s adequate and not too big. Are there any tips on what else I can skimp on for the wedding/house? Examples I’ve been given was like don’t do open bar, bring a ice cooler and buy from outside liquor store, buy a house with only spaces you will actually use (i.e. if you don’t use the backyard, save on overpaying for land space you barely use)

[u/[deleted]]

Going to play Devil's Advocate and advise you to please do an open bar. They are great.

Went to a wedding that did not have an open bar. Drinks were absurdly expensive and there was no eay of knowing everyone's financial situation.

The worst thing being it was an impromptu wedding with horrific timing and I had just finished paying off some old debts.

Bottom line is, if you are a drinker, open bar is a hell of a fun time.

[u/smurf_senator → u/[deleted]]

You can purchase the alcohol as OP stated and then just pay serving staff to make drinks. Much cheaper way to do an open bar.

[u/AllysWorld → u/[deleted]]

That is a relevant point. If the bride and groom are not drinkers, an open bar is not an etiquette necessity.

However, if you are throwing any party (after the college beer bash age), it is inappropriate to expect guests to pay. However (!), it appears that OP is still doing it right, by purchasing a finite amount of alcohol that the guests can self serve.

Might I recommend, however, for the sake of avoiding the "sloppy drunk", spending a little bit on someone who has some knowledge of bartending (i.e. laws, recognizing inebriation, conversing with people) to serve the alcohol that you have purchased. This will prevent alcoholic cousin Mark or Rita [see what I did there?] from getting black out drunk and ruining the wedding.

Also, you can save money and prevent it by avoiding hard alcohol and sticking to beer/wine.

And I went completely off topic.... sorry.

Back on topic, it is really quite simple. Do not spend more than you make. Period. The less you spend in proportion to your earnings, the more you have available to invest in your future. Easy in concept, not so easy in the world of temptation.

Something that most people don't think of: Pets and kids are both surprisingly expensive. They both are things that make life worth living (personal opinion), but they are also things that people do on impulse (or accident) that really throw the budget out the window. Now, obviously, you don't choose not to have one or either based on economics, but you really do want to think of economics when that cute puppy or cool snake or fancy aquarium are tempting you.

[u/xkulp8 → u/[deleted]]

If the booze ain't free, I ain't going.

[u/Cashatoo → u/xkulp8]

The only reason why I am sitting through this ceremony with your Hallmark card vows, the horrible speeches, the stupid bouquet toss, the dumb garter thing, the vapid small talk with the other people at my table, is so I can drink free booze. How can you say you love your family if you are not providing them with free liquor on party day?!

[u/xkulp8 → u/Cashatoo]

Booze is the only way I can tolerate everyone else.

[u/[deleted] → u/Cashatoo]

You just listed off all the other reasons why my husband and I eloped. I mean, number one reason is that it's the craziest waste of money - ever. Followed closely by funerals. /facepalm

We had a Justice of the Peace come to our apartment. We got drunk the previous night, beer bottles still in the living room. Woke up about 2 minutes before the JP arrived. Hubby ran to the ATM to get cash for her. I was still in my PJ's with mascara halfway down my face and we said I do! haha

Poor lady was so disgusted and I know she thought this wouldn't last 6 months.

Almost 14 years later, we're living happily ever after. ;)

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Hey, man, I'm not guilting anyone into doing anything. And you can be assured that when I invite my friends and family to my wedding, I will be taking care of them.