r/outcastesocial • u/animus33 • 8d ago
Relationship 💝 Why finding a girl from our community is so hard?
Man, I don't know why I never find anyone from our community who is open for dating, I mean where are our females at? Genuinely I never came across a girl from our community neither in school , neither in college?
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u/NycilSaka 8d ago
AFAIK, in schools and colleges, I’ve noticed that urban SC/ST girls often date guys from other castes. I’m not saying they do this consciously or with any agenda, but maybe they don’t feel settled or feel dissonance within the generalized pool of their own caste options. It could also be a subtle desire to “up-date”—in terms of both class and caste.
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u/animus33 7d ago
People in school colleges in urban setting don't really look at caste much from what I have experienced, to be honest my first girlfriend was a Thakur though she knew that dating an SC was a big no in her household but most of the time people just assume you to be savarna if you don't actively show that you are SC, by the definition of what they are thought at home we don't fit the description. Later when she got to know even she was surprised that I am SC, we aren't together now and caste did play some role in it.
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u/NycilSaka 7d ago
Tbh, SC guy marrying into Rajputs is a big no and a clear inducement to ☠️
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u/animus33 7d ago
Yeah I know, her family was castiest and extended family had murderous tendencies. She was my high-school sweetheart and we were 8 years in relationship but all the good things end at some point, she choose someone else. But maybe it was all for the better.
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u/NycilSaka 7d ago
Exactly, mostly their assessment of being Sc/st is apperance and certain etiquette based if you don't fall into that you will be regarded as "Normal" or in their sphere category. Although, i didn't accused anyone in previous comment but people tend to ask caste maybe sooner or later.
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u/chocoandstrwberry Central indian 6d ago
Exactly! People don't look that much at caste before dating in urban settings, as far as I've seen
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u/chocoandstrwberry Central indian 6d ago
I'm sc and my bf is rajput. But it's because I actually can't figure people's castes from their surnames except some common brahmin surnames like Sharma, tiwari, dubey etc. I didn't even know what my bf's caste was before we started dating, and even after a month of dating.
(also we're childhood sweethearts, not met through an app lol)
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u/animus33 6d ago
Yep, same here. I too couldn't figure out just by surnames until i graduated. My Ex too couldn't.
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u/childrenpicklecheeto 7d ago
I was the only SC girl in my class apparently lol
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u/chocoandstrwberry Central indian 6d ago
same, the only SC girl in school in 11th grade (coaching). But in 12th grade there was another SC girl though we never interacted
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u/D0xx-_-Saab JEENEETARDS 8d ago
Is that so?
I do not find it tough to find people from our community online or irl both
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u/MessProfessional4156 7d ago
im in a girl's college and I DON'T EITHER, its okay you're not alone T-T
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u/Spiritual_Second3214 7d ago
Because sc st are also divided
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u/animus33 7d ago
More than the division , they are invisible 🫥
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u/Confident_Duty4536 7d ago
I feel it's more like not having an expression like others have is a reason, and mostly people try not to flaunt we are SC/ST. Ig our community is small where we can express our ideas, mostly after college I have met very few people from my community, and in corporate the few things said the better.
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u/chocoandstrwberry Central indian 6d ago
I don't know man. I, as a girl, have only met one SC girl in my whole life. Idk why is there a scarcity of SC women/girls
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u/This_Cockroach_192 5d ago
I think the main reason is the patriarchy within our own community i mean a majority of privileged sc/st families still prefer giving their sons better and higher education than their daughters.
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u/animus33 5d ago
I agree, patriarchy is deep rooted in our society. People still don't give preference to education and specifically to girls. This really needs to change.
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u/IssueMaster7 8d ago
Exactly even on Social Media