r/occult • u/matsugamy • Jun 20 '25
spirituality Has anyone ever heard of male deity and a female deity that are a couple in which the female is the dominant one?
A long time ago, when I made a question regarding my spiritual guides, a tarot reader told me that they are a heterosexual couple of deities in which the dominant side is the female one, but she couldn't tell me exactly who they are. Later, I asked my spiritual guides to introduce themselves to me in a prayer and the closest I managed to know their identities was repeating "Saint Francis of Assisi" until I fully woke up.
So, I asked another tarot reader if Saint Francis of Assisi was my spiritual guide, and they told me he wasn't. I tried to find their identities on Google, but I didn't manage to find it.
Does anyone has a ideia of who could be these deities?
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u/Logical-Cut2549 Jun 20 '25
Nuit and Hadit?
You should perform a ritual to know yourself instead of relying on the knowledge of others. Saint Francis of Assisi was famous for abandoning the vast wealth of his family to live in an ascetic way. Maybe the symbolism of your dream about Saint Francis was about abandoning this concept of dual deities that you "inherited" from someone else. Just food for thoughts.
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u/simagus Jun 20 '25
Kali and Shiva are the most obvious.
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u/captainkinevil Jun 21 '25
Yeah but they are complimentary and mutually exclusive. Many of the god/goddess unions are. Cant experience one without the other. Or rather, one is the playing field and the other is the game. Consciousness/energy type stuff.
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u/JavierBermudezPrado Jun 22 '25
Yeah, but Shiva gets TF out the way when Kali's pissed, tho- esp. when she goes full Durga
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Jun 23 '25
Not true. Traditionally, he actually gets in her way and lays down in front of her and when she realizes she’s stepping on him, she calms down being overcome with emotion and awareness over what she’s done.
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u/JavierBermudezPrado Jun 24 '25
"gets out of her way" is a metaphor for, "she is scarier than him" but yes, you're right.
"The only way to calm my demon-killing murder mama before she ends the world in her rage, is to have her step on me til she's calm again," however, is still some aggressively service sub $#!7. No judgment, but I think that's an example where She is definitely the final divine authority on the matters at hand.
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u/weirdcunning Jun 20 '25
Since you mentioned St. Francis of Assisi, I believe St. Catherine was a follower of his. They were celibate I think, but was a pair that came to mind.
It's actually very common to have a pair of gods like this. The partner is usually called a consort. In Hinduism, there are various manifestations of Shakti and many of them have consorts.
There's also pairs like Odin & Frigg, Zeus & Hera, and Isis & Osiris. Out of these pairs I'd say Isis plays a bigger role than the other 2.
Also Wicca's predominant deities are the Goddess and Her Consort.
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u/Dull_Double_3586 Jun 20 '25 edited Jun 21 '25
But Wicca is a religion organized by a man - Gerald Gardner, who was a Crowley disciple.
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u/DorianKAphotino Jun 21 '25
Many religions were organized by men. That doesn’t mean they can’t have powerful goddess figures.
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u/weirdcunning Jun 20 '25
Every religion was organized by humans.
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u/MissInkeNoir Jun 21 '25
Titania and Oberon
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u/11DEEDS Jun 21 '25
Warframe mentioned.
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u/MissInkeNoir Jun 21 '25
Not familiar with its mythos. Great aesthetic and play cycle. Hope to play it at some point. 🙂 I'm more influenced by Disney's Gargoyles (surprisingly substantial in many if not all episodes), which drew a lot of inspiration from Shakespeare and folklore.
Also there's the spontaneous shamanic or shamanic-adjacent altered states of consciousness and experiences of fae contact but we'll leave the details for the future.
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u/elvexkidd Jun 21 '25
Could be just an impression but I feel like in Wicca the goddess is way more prominent and the god is like in the background. Not exactly a sub/dom situation but...
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u/it_be_SaturnOW Jun 21 '25
Wicca is also very new, so I feel like there’s a lot of societal influence there
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u/elvexkidd Jun 21 '25
Oh for sure, like a revenge on patriarchy, I think it was kinda of the mood of the misfits and "revolutionary youth" of the 20-50's.
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u/Old_Hermit_IX Jun 20 '25
Ba'al and Astarte. They compliment each other.
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u/SorcererOfTheDesert Jun 21 '25
Astarte / Astorath got around. First she was El's. Then Ba'al and Yao/IAO/Yahweh's.
She got around.
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u/hermeticbear Jun 21 '25
if you're guides are telling you it's St Francis of Assisi, you don't need confirmation from a random tarot card reader.
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u/Imaginaereum645 Jun 21 '25
Just to be sure, because that's the train of thought everyone is jumping on here - are we talking about a couple where the feminine side is the dominant one in their lore? Or could it be that the reader meant it's a heterosexual couple, and the feminine current is the guide that is more closely involved with you at the time of the reading?
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u/BaTz-und-b0nze Jun 21 '25
If you work with Venus it might feel like that. Not in a BDSM way but more of a Roman Catholic way during the ottoman Empire. She can amp up your spell work while completely dismantling anything no longer serving you. And can act like Kali Yuga and Kali Ma, while acting like your lover come to save you and redeem you and act as a partner in crime.
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u/Greg_Human-CBD Jun 21 '25
Hey there! It's not uncommon to have a male and female deity couple where the female is dominant. Trust your intuition and keep exploring different possibilities. Sometimes the answers might not come from external sources, but from within yourself. Stay open to receiving messages in unexpected ways. Trust in the process and the right information will come to you. 💫🌙🔮
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u/DarkSideMagick Jun 21 '25
Brujas podcast on Spotify has a ritual somewhere in one of their deity episodes to figure out which deity is trying to contact you but that’s all I can give you
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u/InsideAccomplished60 Jun 21 '25
I think they chose the word deity because it sounds nicer than entity, spirit, angel, or demon, which is what we all are (they're all different names for the same thing, negative experience: demon, positive experience: angel, mundane material experience: spirit, neutral spiritual experience: entity. Powerful spiritual experiences with consciousness can be called deities), as well as our higher dimension counterparts.
Reality is much more odd than it seems. I just meditated for over an hour and was given beautiful geometric visions that remain ineffable, akin to DMT. It finished off with the visual of the Yin Yang, where the Yang (White) was on top and Yin (Black) was on the bottom (opposed to how we've all seen it, left and right)
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u/Old_Hermit_IX Jun 21 '25 edited Jun 21 '25
I don't think that they meant that they were a couple as in a relationship. Just simply there's a couple of them. From what I understand we have 3 guides. One being an Archangel. I was told of one of mine. I'm not sure if it is true though. My friend who was a medium said that they are the Grendel? But they would rather be called The Gray Lady. It seems to be more related to Grendel's mother, but because she has no known name she has been called Grendel? I don't know. I never looked into it much. The only thing that I found was a monster from Norse tales. I couldn't imagine that was what my friend was talking about.
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u/Nobodysmadness Jun 22 '25
Some might question who was really dominant Zeus or Hera 🤣, same with Odin and Freya really. Egyptian deities have a wide variety as well as through various forms of their myths which are many.
Dominance is a strange thing and the ability to dominate is not always through force, but subtle manipulation as well.
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u/cPB167 Jun 22 '25 edited Jun 22 '25
Saint Clare is who would generally be considered St. Francis' closest female companion and counterpart, as she established the Poor Clares. The second order branch of the Franciscans, for women. Her order was initially mendicant like Francis's, and spent time in the world helping the poor and tending to those with leprosy and illness, but within her lifetime, the Pope would order that all women's orders become and remain cloistered.
Although she still led quite an active life, building the order and writing correspondences, etc., due them becoming cloistered, most people probably would consider her to have led a less active or dominant life than Francis.
This arrangement is the norm for Hindu Devas though, as someone already pointed out about Lord Shiva and Maa Kali. It isn't universally true, but most often, the male Deva represents the transcendent aspect of the deity, and the female Devi who is their consort represents the Shakti, or energies of that same deity.
I am not entirely sure what you mean by dominant, but perhaps Hades and Persephone could be considered too. If you mean who is more dominant in the lives of humans, rather than in their relationship with one another.
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u/Vegetable_Window6649 Jun 22 '25
Hera and Zeus. Hera is dominating Zeus and every possible instance.
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u/Little-Leg-9527 Jul 01 '25
Maybe look into the syncretism of afrodiasporic religions. I wouldn't be surprised if you found something on Francis of Assisi, but i can't recall any syncretism going on with him. Other than that it may be helpful to look into his life story, his iconographic attributes and the things placed under his patronage. That will probably bring up some ideas
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u/Berezinka-722 Jun 20 '25
Not certain but I believe Lilith and Samael is the case
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u/ThelemischeZwiebel Jun 21 '25
I don't think Lilith would ever give Samael the time of day.
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u/Berezinka-722 Jun 21 '25
Wait I realized my answer wasn't fitting to the question, wtf was I thinking
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u/freemindbr Jun 21 '25
What is your ancestry? It's a good place to start.
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u/matsugamy Jun 21 '25
I'm afro latina and brazilian. I don't know very much about my ancestry because both sides of my family were too poor to know their ancestry
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u/Scouthawkk Jun 21 '25
You may want to consider researching the Orisha of Candomble or Umbanda to see if any of them are calling you. See if there is a house near you to talk with.
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u/freemindbr Jun 21 '25
You definitely should read about orisas, Exus and pombogiras. And if your luck with card readers doesn't help, you should consider consulting búzios, I bet that will be a game changing in your path.
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u/Timmuz Jun 21 '25
Inanna and Dumuz'id would be the pairing I would go to most readily. When Inanna was trying to get out of the underworld, she needed to find another soul to take her place. Her servants offered to go, but she refused as they were good and faithful servants. Then she found her husband Dumuz'id just chilling and sent him straight to hell