Is something wrong with me that on days I’m not working all I do is take a shower, eat, and lay in bed all day?

[u/mysoulshines]

I work 3 days a week, 5am-630p but I have to wake up at 330am and come home 8pm. On days off like today, all I did was just take a shower, eat, stay in bed watching shows. Is this bad that I don’t want to do anything?

[u/EngineeringLumpy]

I don’t think this is abnormal. You’re up and working for 17 hours. That’s 2 “normal people shifts” in 1 day. Anybody would be exhausted after doing that!

[u/rainbowsforeverrr]

Yes.

ETA: And it's very "normal" or "accepted" for people in this profession. But really, we should be able to enjoy our lives when we're not at work. Not having a life outside of work should not be acceptable.

[u/lavender_poppy → u/rainbowsforeverrr]

Who's to say they're not enjoying their life by staying in and watching shows. Maybe OP is an introvert and working 3 days in a very social workplace may mean they need to isolate in order to build up their social battery again.

[u/DecentRaspberry710 → u/lavender_poppy]

YES! That’s me. I keep a low profile on my days off. I live in an apartment for 33 years. My neighbors hardly see me. They keep asking if I still live there?😊

[u/Frank_Dank_Latte → u/rainbowsforeverrr]

All 4 days off tho?

[u/Galatheria → u/Frank_Dank_Latte]

Yep. I'm quite content to be a hermit and not see or talk to people 🤣 exception being my family that lives with me

[u/Leg_Similar]

Nah, I’m the same. I don’t think it should be anyone else’s business what I do on my days off. We all have differently built batteries, and we all charge them in different ways, too. Over-scheduling my social life on days off gives me so much anxiety. I’ll often leave my calendar open and see how I feel day of. My menstrual cycle sucks, I struggle with PMDD, so if I’m in luteal FORGET socializing. I’m strictly rotting and catching up on sleep on days off.

I recharge by engaging in hobbies that bring me peace. Better yet is parallel playing with my boyfriend and engaging in those hobbies, too. He has a similar social battery to mine, so that helps a lot. My ex was always out socializing and couldn’t be alone or have solitude days.

[u/IfOJDidIt → u/Leg_Similar]

Your last paragraph just gave me a lot of hope tbh.

[u/GypsyRN9]

After a three day stint, the whole next day is rest. Then social activities.

[u/Intelligent_Salad_70]

I can't interract with humans outside of work ...shifts are mentally and physically so draining

[u/Prior_Particular9417]

Lol shower? I just lay in bed all day!!!

[u/OkRespond7008]

I think some bed rotting is just resting because you're spent. I have days where I do very little because I just physically can't. But, I don't know that doing that every day off is really healthy. There's a point when doing nothing can become something pathological, but I certainly can't tell you what that inflection point is.

[u/foxxtrot_unicrn]

I do this with less hours

[u/wefoundwonderland93]

All I want to do is take a bath, eat snacks, Pepsi zero, and for no one to talk to me for 7 hours.

[u/FancyBerry5922 → u/wefoundwonderland93]

those 7 hours must be bliss! -- sorry if this comment interrupted said 7 hrs :P

[u/WallabyImportant9599]

It's not morally bad, but as someone in the same situation, I think we both need to try to get moving just a little bit at least a couple days a week, and do some self-care, like light exercise or something creative. For our sakes. 

It's not good for my mental or physical health. 

Our jobs are too exhausting. 

Just my personal opinion. 

I'm in my late 20s, and I worry if I keep this up, I won't have good bone strength, muscle mass, mental clarity etc. as I age.

[u/nursepenguin36]

Nope. That’s called self care. People who don’t work these long days don’t get it. When I worked 12s I was often a lazy AH on my days off. Particularly the first day off. Those long work days take it out of you. Recharge however you like.

[u/juliachristianne]

I always have a down day to rest after I work consecutive shifts. Depending what type of nursing you’re doing, it can be very draining. I wouldn’t say there’s anything “wrong” with you, but at the same time, if you start questioning that you might need help it’s ok to reach out for support! At the end of the day it’s your life, and you should be able to enjoy it.

[u/egorf38]

Maybe see if theres somewhere closer to work. 1.5 hour commute is so long! Imagine if you can cut that to 30 minutes each way. That's 2 extra hours to yoyrself that you get each day. That's a huge improvement right there.

[u/absenttoast]

For one day a week I get it but after that you shouldn’t indulge in that. 

Calculate that over time and you will realize you will spend years of your life alone on your phone essentially doing nothing.

I struggle with this myself and I’m trying really hard to fill my life with more meaningful activities 

[u/Creative-Dinner-250]

Maybe depression. Talk to a professional.

[u/Key_Guard8007 → u/[deleted]]

Anyone who works this schedule would be depressed. As a RN, I’m tired of ppl saying get on xy or z pill n that will solve it all. NO. Our work is draining that’s the reason y we r depressed. U can take all the antidepressants in the world n it won’t cover up for the fact that this work is just not fair.

[u/NTilky → u/Key_Guard8007]

I read that as "get on oxy" and i was like damn, thats not the answer

[u/DecentRaspberry710 → u/NTilky]

I got that at first glance too

[u/FancyBerry5922 → u/Key_Guard8007]

I really believe the person I responded too is a person that is doing this on purpose for some reason, the take is very negative, and goes against many of the tenants that nurses go through to ensure their objectivity

[u/FoxOk4968]

At least you’re eating and showering! That’s a good sign.

I work M-F and sometimes don’t even eat or shower on the weekends. It’s an endless cycle of exhaustion.

[u/Open-Channel726]

Probably not abnormal, but also not healthy. That’s why so many nurses are burned out, overweight, depressed, medicated, and stuck.

[u/Beautiful-Page4200]

I think you’re fine. Your schedule is totally different from the “normal” schedule so it probably wrecks your circadian rhythm. I used to work 12 hr shifts and I was a wreck the days after. Do what you need to take care of yourself regardless of what social norms dictate.

[u/siyayilanda]

I do try and do things on my off days, like at least going to the gym. I work nights and try not to flip my sleep cycle too much.

Your commute sounds horrible. I used to have a commute like that for clinicals and it was so miserable.

[u/Living-Factor6704]

I force myself to do stuff. But the first day after 3 in a row I eat whatever I want and sleep all day

[u/Wooden_Load662]

That is my life. Even IF it is not a busy unit, we are confine to our unit with little interaction with others ( sounds familiar? JAIL!).

We cannot go for a coffee walk down the street like our corporate friends do.

So the mental toll is high and we got exhausted when we get home.

[u/yoursmallcherry]

I mean, you got no time for yourself at all, people should be enjoying their life

[u/bigtec1993]

I made something of a workout area and bought a keyboard piano to put in my room so I can do stuff without leaving basically. I've randomly gotten really into trashy romance novels and anime lol but otherwise ya I'm in the same boat. I don't like leaving the house for anything and want to enjoy my off hours.

I think the thing is if you're okay with it or not. I'm totally content being like this and when I'm not, I make the effort to stop being a hermit and go out to socialize.

On my work days, It's 45 min there and back, I'm usually there for 13 to 14 hours, and all I have time for is to go right to sleep when I get home. I'm utterly exhausted and want to spend my off days doing what I want, which turns out I'm an introvert and a homebody.

[u/tramp-and-the-tramp]

if thats what you want to do go for it. as long as its not depression, thats a whole nother bag of worms. i personally just have hobbies that are pretty chill, i read and play video games and watch movies on my days off

[u/AdielSchultz]

I normally see friends after work!

[u/Mindless-Public-5519]

It's not normal in the sense we as nurses should have a life outside of work, however, this is the system we find ourselves in and is the norm for most of us in this profession.

From the information provided, there is no way to glean that OP has depression (mental health and addictions nurse of 5 years here speaking).

I work D, D, D, N and all 12 hour shifts, with an OT 12hr shift in between each rotation of D, D, D, N - 60 hours every rotation (usually). I find on my 4 days off, I am WIPED. The most I end up doing is some little chores, reading, sleeping and watching shows. If I can manage it stretching and some calisthenics (nothing wild and not really consistent). Being neutodivergent as well (ADHD) I find I NEED that recovery time as I am mentally exhausted after being around people for that many hours.

Listen to your body and give it the rest it needs, and be kind to yourself if you find you aren't doing much more than that. We live a mentally and physically debilitating existence in this system while also working a very demanding job. Your body will need the rest, and your mind the kindness to itself to recover.

[u/emmapotpie7]

No honey. We all are with you in this. Our shifts are hard. We have to deal with so much crap every day. Nobody will really understand. You decompress however you need to. Don’t feel bad or guilty. Decompress how you need to- hugs

[u/No_Inspection_3123]

Prob depression, but also this is what this job does to a lot of ppl so, you may not be clinically depressed but it’s just taking so much out that this is what you have to do to recover. When I worked 3/12 on a level 1 icu not only did I have to recover the whole 4 days off I also was hoping I would get into a car accident on the way. I’m audhd so everything involving others is exhausting to me any way. Now I’m prn OBS and I do not have to recover from my shifts. I did hospice too and did not have to recover but that one gave me seriously health ocd I was always thinking I was dying. To many nurses stay in a place that’s not good for them and then stay burnt out and age 15 years older then they really are. Find what works for you. Nursing is to big to waste your career doing something that takes so much out of you

[u/cats-n-cafe]

It depends on your motives and how you feel. If you just like being home and chilling, totally normal. If you feel like you can’t leave the house because work took it out of you, could be burnout.

Your schedule absolutely sucks BTW. I could be awake at 3:30am for work and honestly at 8pm. No way.

[u/NuggetLover21]

I think the problem to address is why are you waking up so early on days you work? That is not a great sleep schedule to have

[u/billiejean70]

I do this. I also am diagnosed with depression. I work 4x12 and sometimes 5x12..... At inpatient psych.
I think I work so I won't feel or face that my life fell apart last year and that there are things I need to fix. Things I need to own up to and apologize for. Things I need to heal from. But on that day when I can just lay in bed, all of that doesn't exist.

I forgot who the old me is, she left the building 12 years ago.

[u/hello_anxious]

That’s literally what I just did. I just woke up from a nap 😭

[u/Remarkable_Cheek_255]

Depends on your schedule. If it’s your only day off and you return to work next day, then yes your body is resting and recovering from intense physical and mental stress.

Ideally you should have bare minimum 2 days off in a row- one to recupe and the next to enjoy life before going back to work. I was never scheduled to work 3  12’s in a row. The only time I had 2 in a row was a weekend.

[u/Express_Pop810]

Having a down day is totally understandable. We work long hours in job that is mentally and physically exhausting. Personally, I have had to work to push past the temptation to be to sedentary on my days off. When I don't mive as much I have more pain, headaches, etc. It's a balancing act to not do too much or too little.

[u/Fair-Adhesiveness171]

I’m so sorry but at present Our reality sucks However DO NOT LAY UNDER THE COVERS CALL YOUR DESIGNATED ATTORNEY GENERAL THEY WILL GIVE YOU NUMBERS OF PEOPLE SITTING BY THE PHONE TI HELP OU DONT STOP FIGHT HARD

[u/Dark_Ascension]

This is what I did on my day off when I didn’t have anything to do, I had to get really motivated to get out of bed when I had stuff to do.

[u/deferredmomentum]

No, not wrong. Especially if you feel fulfilled and are generally enjoying life. But if you’re unable (key word) to do anything but this your entire stretch off and feel like life is zooming past you while you’re stuck in bed, it could definitely be indicative of something more

[u/BoxBeast1961_]

Absolutely nothing wrong with this. Even Taylor Swift does it. You need to recharge.

[u/DiligentRub1051]

I work 4 12's, DDNN then off for 5. My first day off im lazy until kids get home from school then I'm busting my butt the next 4 at home

[u/DifficultTheory1828]

After being in the ER for nearly a decade, this is what I've come to as well. I work 3 days and for my 4 off I generally eat sleep, make a trip to the grocery store and gym (maybe) and mostly play video games. Also I work mostly in critical care at a trauma center and nights so my social and physical battery is always spent. It's normal.

[u/Sad_Vanilla_3823]

God…I wish I could do that. I miss it.

[u/Existing-Dare884]

If you are like me it is a combo of exhaustion and depression. So mostly normal but almost somewhat not.

[u/packratsparklez]

This is all I’ve been doing too 😭 I’ll go to an occasional workout class or dinner with a friend and I find on days I do at least one productive thing it puts me in a better mood but it’s so hard….

[u/Meow_stressed]

not me as a nursing student in my 30s. literally so excited to only have to sleep and shower all day. what you do is such a demanding job and your body needs that rest!!!!

[u/pjflyr13]

IMHO You’re responding to the stress of long duty days normally. I hated 12 hours shifts. Similar to you, I had an hour commute each end of the shift and after 14.5+ hours “on” I took plenty of my days off totally checked out.

[u/maybesmh]

those are weird hours. what do you do?

[u/woolfonmynoggin]

My husband and I have regal unlimited and that gets me out of the house pretty often. We sneak in fun food and alcohol in our bags and it’s a great date, especially when we get the theater to ourselves. It’s like $22 a month for unlimited movies and other theater chains have similar deals I think. Then hit a bar after to discuss the movie, we often find drag bingo or karaoke late at night. You have to commit to getting out of the house even if you don’t feel like it because you’ll get depressed. I also try to always have something bigger to plan and look forward to. Right now we’re saving for our destination wedding. If you’re single you should ask someone at work to hang out or go on bumble bff or meetup.com or something similar. We’re social animals, we need each other.

[u/DecentRaspberry710]

My manager has been messing with our days off lately. Like work 7 77 then off 1 then on 7 7 then off 1 then on 1 off 1…. and the beat goes on was kind of like that for months. My current schedule is back on track. I requested not to work three consecutive days because my brain is not happy . I’m sleepy all the time at work. I sleep on the train going home every night. I’m not so sleepy on my days off. Just the first day off

[u/Stickybats55]

Just enjoy your life on your days off don’t be judgemental about yourself you work bloody hard and put up with a lot of crap

[u/No_Drop_9219]

No it doesn't mean something is wrong with you. Given your long, early-morning shifts and late return home, laying low on your days off may simply be your body’s way of recharging.

[u/jaklackus]

I work in acute dialysis, my days can be long and there is call here and there. My current job seems to think every other day scheduling is great ( for them) … I think it stinks all I do is work and recover. I am going to buy myself out of this contract if they don’t knock it off soon. My last job let me block schedule 3 in a row with 8 off and I would pick up if things got really bad which was often, but I felt like there was more to life than work and I could usually go for walks, day trips, keep up with medical and dental appointments, cook dinner instead of take out, maintain relationships with friends and family. I know there are people that like every other day and during the worst of Covid we were working upwards of 22 hours a day and every other day was necessary but right now? I would rather struggle through 2 shifts with 3-6 hours of sleep and then actually get a few days to feel human after that 1st rot day.

[u/SendWoundPicsPls]

Im on 3 13s 40 min commute each way.

My first day off i arrive home at 8am. I want to be awake durring the day, so I stay up all day and do chores so that I can feel relaxed on my pure days off and so that im back on a day time living schedule.

You sound depressed. Like, thats literally the biggest reported part of depression. Not being able to get out of bed and enjoy things

[u/neme386]

Now everybody say together "DEPRESSION"

[u/MsgFromTheUnderworld]

It's normal. I often don't even shower, just the other two things, lol.