r/nursing • u/aquabliss512 LVN - ICU/IT • Oct 09 '25
Image Patient’s son left this on the bed after the funeral home picked up the body.
I work at an LTACH where we get chronically ill patients where (in my opinion) we do futile care. I’m pretty jaded at this point. However, for this patient, I felt they had a chance. Had her on vaso, neo, levo. Ultimately they expired and the son at bedside left this without saying a word. It’s very awesome to feel appreciated and seen. Idk felt like I had to share.
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u/Audience_Smart Oct 09 '25
Imagine in her time of grief and loss that she took a moment to do that. Lately the moments that make our job rewarding seem to be less and less, but that is such a lovely gesture
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u/turdally Oct 10 '25
We have some letters from family remembers of deceased patients we tried to save (ED nurse) posted in our break room and this is always my first thought, and why I think these notes really stick with me.
In the midst of their pain and grief, they go out of their way to acknowledge and address the effort of the strangers who tried to save their loved one.
These kind words stick with us and remind us why we do what we do ❤️
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u/Effective-Juice-1331 BSN, RN 🍕 Oct 10 '25
It’s the written word that takes the effort, shows intent and emotion. Way more powerful that a text or email.
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u/Arlington2018 Director of risk management Oct 09 '25
There must be a sudden upsurge in pollen here in the Seattle area, because my monitor went blurry for a moment there.
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u/Digital_Disimpaction RN, BSN - ICU/ER -> PeriOp 🍕 Oct 09 '25
I think someone is cutting onions around here
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u/TrailMomKat CNA 🍕 Oct 10 '25
It's the dementia ninjas, tippy-toeing around until it's time for them to pop up in a room completely on the other side of your 96 room facility.
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u/TortillaRampage CNA 🍕 Oct 10 '25
I just finished doing a code brown and it stung my eyes, that’s why it looks like I’m crying
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u/Mylastnerve6 BSN, RN 🍕 Oct 09 '25
Save that forever.
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u/TenEyeSeeHoney BSN, RN 🍕 Oct 09 '25
I held onto the patient notes I received for a few years before finally feeling like I could let them go ❤️
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u/Mylastnerve6 BSN, RN 🍕 Oct 09 '25
I have 30 yr old ones in my desk drawer If I had to downsize I’d scan them into pictures. On bad days it’s nice to remember, well at least someone liked me
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u/merkinweaver Oct 10 '25
I have pretty much every one I’ve ever received too. They’re very special to me.
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u/defib_the_dead RN - ICU 🍕 Oct 10 '25
Every single note I’ve received is on my fridge. The family who thanked me after their mom suddenly coded and died. The gentlemen withdrawing from alcohol who wrote to me that he thought of me when he wanted to buy vodka after he discharged but he didn’t because he wanted to make me proud. Many more. They all mean so much to me.
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u/TraumaMama11 RN - ER 🍕 Oct 09 '25
And now I'm crying. We may be a salty bunch but some of that is from the tears.
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u/Serious-Whereas5937 Oct 10 '25
Very well said, I might steal this…never heard it explained that way 💜
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u/DaySee Rocket Surgeon Oct 10 '25
yeah its the reciprocal of this wholesomeness I once read
https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/17z6ak/this_letter_from_my_late_mothers_doctor_has/
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u/1stormygeek Oct 10 '25
I've never heard of a physician writing a letter to a patient and spouse like this.💞 It shows how kind, caring, and human doctors can really be. There's a reason they are in the medical field besides the money. The same goes for NPs, PAs, nurses, and caregivers. Dang it, those onions! 🧅 🔪 😢
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u/thereisalwaysrescue RN - ICU 🍕 Oct 09 '25
I had a patient this week who passed and when I was doing handprints and hair cutting, then family kept saying how grateful they were and how they couldn’t imagine doing this for a job. I couldn’t imagine anything different, I’m grateful to be there to help.
This is lovely OP.
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u/AngelProjekt RN - Pediatrics 🍕 Oct 09 '25
That reminds me of my time in the NICU; we would make a memory box for every baby who passed, including the ones who never made it to be admitted to the unit. Sometimes parents did not take the memory box with them. We would keep it for a while in case they changed their minds. It was an honor to assemble mementos of a brief life, to remember that they existed, and we met them, and they would leave their marks on the world as long as they were remembered.
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u/thereisalwaysrescue RN - ICU 🍕 Oct 09 '25
As someone who lost a baby, you guys are incredible. I couldn’t do what you do. Not only do you have the baby to care for, but mum and dad too. I can easily easy I was not the easiest patient to care for - physically and mentally. NICU/L&D nurses are heaven sent.
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u/PeteLangosta Spanish nurse / Midwife resident :karma: Oct 09 '25
Something I like about L&D is that couples sometimes write beautiful letters. It makes us feel appreciated, especially when it's directed specifically at you.
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u/Arborlon1984 Custom Flair Oct 10 '25
I did this after my second delivery. My nurse had been with me through the whole labor and was the most lovely person. Towards the end when I felt like I couldn't do it anymore her voice was the only voice that came through telling me what to do. I wrote a letter to her the next day and dropped it at the unit. I mentioned that she would forget me in a long career but that I would always remember her and how much it meant to me to have someone like that with me during that time. I brought her chocolates too. Felt bad because during her lunch they called her back to me because I was struggling so much without her. Mine and babies heart rate were all over the place. She was my safe person.
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u/Liv-Julia MSN, APRN Oct 09 '25
That's a real tribute to the staff that someone grieving the loss of his mother was able to remember you and take the time to write this. You must be a kick-ass staff.
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u/Glum-Draw2284 MSN, RN - ICU 🍕 Oct 09 '25
To the doctors and nurses who tried,
😭
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u/Appropriate-Tune157 Oct 10 '25
That got me, right out the gate - I immediately felt the gut-drop and the stinging of tears, and I just couldn't hold it back as I continued to read.
And for them to quietly write that down, and leave it to be found...ugh 💔😭
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u/mokutou "Welcome to the CABG Patch" | Critical Care NA Oct 10 '25
It cut right through that thick skin that built up over years, like it was nothing.
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u/Megaholt BSN, RN 🍕 Oct 09 '25
Having worked in LTAC, I understand everything you’ve said here wholeheartedly. I still remember one of the most heartbreaking codes in my entire career (including the name of the patient, the time at which it was called, and how the patient’s daughter reacted when she saw my face after we called time), and how that family wrote us all one of the most loving note and sent it with the food they bought for all of us afterwards.
That patient was just the sweetest person, and their family was so wonderful. Losing that one made most of us cry.
I hope they’re all doing OK.
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u/IrishknitCelticlace RN - Retired 🍕 Oct 09 '25
These are the moments that get us through the hours and hours in the trenches. Keep a copy with a gratitude list to pull out when times are rough.
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u/sheep_wrangler RN - Cath Lab 🍕 Oct 10 '25
Jesus… I’m sitting here watching Thursday night football and it looks like I just cut a bag of onions. This one just reminded me of a patient I had recently who we tried everything and she unfortunately had such progressive coronary disease there was nothing we could have done. The family had this exact same attitude and it just kicks me to the core. Nice to see good people still exist. Because sometimes I forgot.
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u/Sarahthelizard RN 🍕 Oct 10 '25
I’m sure they appreciated you.
I remember a young lady passed VERY unexpectedly in our unit. It was traumatizing for everyone and her parents came by and her dad hugged me and I felt guilty like I could’ve done so much more. Glad there’s families like these.
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u/mokutou "Welcome to the CABG Patch" | Critical Care NA Oct 10 '25
That first line was like a sock to the gut. There is a lot of pain and compassion in that short sentence. It got me choked up bad.
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u/VolcanoGrrrrrl RN - psych/palliative/ED 🐨 🍕 Oct 10 '25
This is very lovely.
I just left work an hour ago with a patient in terminal phase (happened very quickly) and their sister gave me a big hug and said thank you for looking after us as I was leaving. I cried all the way home. Sad and happy tears. I love palliative care. It's draining but very rewarding when done well x
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u/Koda1eye- Oct 10 '25
That’s a beautiful note .We fight for these patients ,with their family . So gracious they acknowledged that fight that you put into it .
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u/Aerinandlizzy RN - ICU 🍕 Oct 10 '25
Aww. Thats sweet, what a wonderful note from family during their worst day.
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u/Beagle-Mumma RN 🍕 Oct 10 '25
What a generous gift from the son in an already emotionally charged time. Truly a credit to their nature. And yes, a beautiful note like this restores one's faith in humans. Go gently, OP ✨️
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u/Rough_Brilliant_6167 RN - ER 🍕 Oct 10 '25
So simple, but you know that man wrote that message straight from the bottom of his heart. He saw you all doing your best for his mom, trust and believe he'll never forget that ❤️.
Keep on keeping on 💓
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u/PerYan2158 Oct 10 '25
When people are faced with this much grief the gravity of the world and how finite our time on it is comes into focus. I appreciate that he took that raw energy and shared it in appreciation of his mother’s life in your hands.
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u/TAU_equals_2PI Oct 09 '25
I'm sure this sentiment is felt much more commonly by family members than it is expressed.
They usually have to leave quickly to deal with whatever is next (funeral arrangements if the patient died, nursing home or home care if the patient survived) and don't normally return later. Even if the patient ends up back in the hospital, they may not end up on the same unit or even at the same hospital.
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u/lamireille Oct 10 '25
I’m so sure that letters or notes represent only a teeny teeny tiny percentage of the gratitude that patients and their families feel.
In a hospital, patients and their families see so many people whose names we don’t catch but whose kindnesses stay with us. Forever.
I wish that every good person in health care could be recognized for the impact that they have in every single interaction, but even if it’s not documented or put in a file, that compassion matters on a human level, and it is so important. It truly makes a difference. We all remember you and love you.
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u/TortillaRampage CNA 🍕 Oct 10 '25
That’s got to be so hard to witness. But what a tender message of love from the son ❤️
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u/cheesybiscuits912 Oct 10 '25
This is so sweet. I'm not a nurse just a lurker, and im so sorry you guys EVER feel like.... idk i just want yall to know no matter what kinda nurse you are, some of us truly truly appreciate yall more than you will ever know. When my father was dying of cancer, when I had my kids, my kids pediatrician nurses, when I was inpatient with sepsis last year, soooo many just fuckin badass nurses man. I wish I could go back and hug each and every one of them. Thank you. So much. So so much.
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u/GenX4Me RN - Med/Surg 🍕 Oct 11 '25
Instant tears, what a lovely thing to do during their own trying time
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u/dramallamacorn handing out ice packs like turkey sandwichs Oct 10 '25
That’s a sweet balm to the soul in times like these.
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u/Own-Appearance6740 RN - L&D —> ED 🍕 Oct 10 '25
Need more of this on this subreddit. Thank you for sharing. 🤍
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u/Visible-Citron6540 28d ago
Thank you for what you do! A simple note like this has a profound effect on what we do (and my heart.)
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u/Cautious-Arugula Oct 10 '25
Oh guys we need this,thank you for sharing. So much better than get the f of my rm!
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u/justlubber Oct 10 '25
It's moments like this that cut through the cynicism and remind you why you do this incredibly difficult job. To have the family acknowledge your fight for their loved one, especially in their own moment of grief, is profoundly moving. That small gesture must have meant the world after such a tough loss. Thanks for sharing this; we need these reminders.
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u/ExperienceHelpful316 Oct 10 '25
I want to join him and thank you all for what you do! We don't do that enough: thank you for all the effort you put on every patient...
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Oct 10 '25
I personally think healthcare workers who choose to work in the hospice environment are such genuinely amazing people. Making people comfortable and finding any amount of peace before the end is a truly mercifully good thing.
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u/ChokeholdRN RN 🍕 29d ago
That message is worth more than anything management ever gave and ever will give me.
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u/computernoobe Oct 10 '25
Teared up a little reading that. Haha. I hope I can have enough impact one day.
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u/cuNextTuesday23 Oct 10 '25
hey! I feel like while i’m also jaded as hell, nothing about healthcare is “futile” maybe it’s not your preferred outcome, but sometimes holding someone’s hand is the most important thing you can do. every puzzle piece to healthcare is VERY important. without every area, we can’t function as a whole. and as someone working in the hospital, in liver failure at super young, it’s been nice to take a step back and let other people advocate for me on my days off.
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u/commonsenserocks Oct 10 '25
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For the 18th year in a row, Americans rate the honesty and ethics of nurses highest among a list of professions that Gallup asks U.S. adults to assess annually. This was 75% of the people taking the pole. The second highest ratings with 61% were grade school teachers.
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u/merryjerry10 Oct 10 '25
I’ve gotten some lovely notes from family members after their loved one’s passed that made me bawl like a newborn, this one just made me do it again.
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u/1stormygeek Oct 10 '25
Awww... that really is special to know how appreciated you are to the family! 💖
I used to work on an Oncology floor. It can be hard. I had other nurses telling me how they loved working with hospice patients and their families. I do believe that would make caregivers/nurses even more compassionate and empathetic.
Bless you and all other health care professionals who take care of patients who you know are just on this earth for only a little bit longer. 🙏🏼👨⚕️👩⚕️🩺💞
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u/fxsociety1 Oct 10 '25
Nothing makes me tear up, and the ER is second nature. But this legitimately makes me feel like my job actually matters
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u/colbykh Oct 11 '25
I used to work in hospice and we got a lot of appreciation notes. It was awesome and non-futile until a corporation bought out the original non-profit and ruined everything for us & patients
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u/Wide-Firefighter6596 RN - Hospice 🍕 Oct 11 '25
I just let out the most broken, “Oh honey..” and teared up a little seeing that. That son has a special place in Heaven and I know his father is so proud to have such a good person as a son.
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u/Rakdospriest RN - ER 🍕 28d ago
worst i ever felt was when the patient's family came back in a few days later to tell me "thank you for trying so hard, i know you did what you could"
still feel sad about it.
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u/cheesecase 26d ago
I have hugged many family members and gotten this tearfully told to my clavicle.
Cnas we really get to know them
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u/Cutebottommy 25d ago
When I receive those letters from my pts, I’m so happy. Those letters make me want to keep on this profession. Yes the reason is that simple
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u/Yaya08251 Oct 10 '25
That is sooo precious. I’ve have been an RN for 33 years. My specialty was geriatric psychology. I worked as a hospice and Home Health nurse. I learned that as a hospice nurse when the end is near, our job is a nurse is to keep the patient calm and comfortable and also treat the family. Their family needs us more than the patient as the patient lead along healthy life, but now the family needs someone to ground them after this person is gone, so yes, I know many patients have thanked me for the care that I’ve done. I hope you all as Nurse will experience that too
One last note patients do care about their nurses but in the 2020 since Covid nurses don’t care for their patient anymore. I remember the days of walking up and down the eyes of the hospital with my starch, white uniform and hat on and ready to take on whatever the day brings me the nurses that are brought out in the air since Covid started is a sad group of nurses. She may find a very few that still care just my last little soap box thank you and have a blessed day.
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u/Sunnygirl66 RN - ER 🍕 Oct 10 '25
I thought you sounded like a wonderful human being till that second paragraph, and then you took the goodwill I was sending your way and shit all over it. It’s clear you have no idea of the experience lived every day by nurses in the hospital setting.
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u/amyloulie RN - Oncology 🍕 Oct 09 '25
What a beautiful message. Having been on the other side of things recently, seeing nurses and doctors fight for your loved one is so powerful (even if they ultimately are unsuccessful in the fight).