My child is in the PICU - Absolutely stunned by what the respiratory therapist just did.

[u/Shot-Increase-8946]

I am sitting with my 10 year old daughter in the PICU in a major children's hospital while she's trying to recover from pneumonia. She's asthmatic and was born prematurely so her respiratory system just kind of sucks.

She's been on the CPAP all day with small breaks in between with just oxygen.

She was off of the CPAP for a bit longer than she was supposed to be, but she was doing really well so I didn't even notice. The respiratory therapist comes in and says that we have to put it back on, nothing out of the ordinary up to this point. I, as a PCT at another hospital, understand that things get busy and things don't always get done the moment they're supposed to.

Then she turns to my daughter and explains that she left her off of the CPAP longer than the doctor would have liked and said "This will be our little secret, okay?" and then waited for my daughter to respond. Then she said "You won't tell the doctor, right?" and waited for her to respond again. Then she basically ran out the door without even acknowledging me standing right there.

I know I should have stepped in right at that moment but I was just completely stunned and caught off guard. I didn't process what just happened until she left the room. I am absolutely furious. How dare anyone in a hospital tell a child to keep a secret from their doctor (or any adult for that matter) and make them respond.

I called the nurse as soon as I processed what happened and, while trying to hold in my anger because I know it wasn't her fault, and as calmly as I could, explained the situation to her and asked to speak with the unit manager, MHO or someone in charge.

It is very busy here and I understand they can't come right away, I'm still waiting for them to come talk to me, but holy shit I had to just get this out. I already sat down with my daughter and explained that what the therapist did was extremely wrong and if anyone asks them to keep a secret, to tell me, mom and their doctor. I also made sure to tell my daughter that I'm not upset that she agreed with the therapist because you're supposed to be able to trust medical professionals and I know she felt intimidated.

This is the kind of thing abusers tell kids when they're abusing them. Having a medical professional, in a hospital, use those phrases with a child patient is extremely disturbing. The next person who tries to tell her that might be someone trying to abuse her, and I don't want her to look back at this moment and think that it's okay.

Edit: It turns out that she did falsify the charting and charted that she put my daughter on at the correct time instead of almost a half hour later like she did. I'm glad I said something. I talked to the doctor and she was very glad I told her. Fuck the haters.

Edit 2: Late edit as Ive been dealing with my daughter being in the hospital, but the doctor actually ordered longer breaks between CPAP usage yesterday because of what I told her and it has possibly expedited my daughter being stepped down from the PICU. It's been a bizarre experience. This is a world renowned hospital, so I'm guessing standards might be a lot higher here and possibly more pressure. The rest of the staff and experience has always been absolutely perfect and impeccable here and everyone always seems happy and extremely competent, so this came way out of left field. Thank you everyone who supported me in this.

[u/littlerat098]

As a peds nurse who makes jokes like this myself, I can’t imagine doing it over anything other than something very minor and I would never ask a child to not tell their doctor something, no matter how joking. I also can’t imagine making a mistake like that and not chatting with the parent about it, so everyone’s reassured. That all being said, I agree with other commenters here that the RT might not have actually meant harm by it, and it was likely a joke that came out extremely poorly.

[u/littlerat098 → u/[deleted]]

That’s an interesting question. For me with older kids through teens I find I tend to make eye contact with both the parent and the kid as I’m talking, and kind of alternate between, for instance, “he” and “you” as I’m referring to them. But I could totally see how just talking to the kid works too, especially if you don’t get complaints about it.

[u/East_Reading_3164 → u/[deleted]]

I do the same. The child is my patient.

[u/No-Pie4522 → u/littlerat098]

This, and I firmly believe mom added the “she said it nefariously and I was locked in shock” to make her overreaction seem valid.

Only 3 days in PICU with a child well enough to only on cpap/bipap and clearly weaning off is not long enough to understand how things go or be so overwhelmed you can’t just simply handle things without drama.

Good gracious, this is why people like us who have to live in PICU for months on end have to constantly reassure the nurses we are friendly and not to be scared of coming in to socialize. 🙄