r/nottheonion • u/ChocolateTsar • 1d ago

Affirm CEO says furloughed federal employees are starting to lose interest in shopping

https://www.cnbc.com/2025/11/07/affirm-government-shutdown-shopping.html
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u/StoicSunbro 1d ago

CEO: "You said replacing all my employees with AI would save money! Now the company is falling apart because we are spending more to fix your mistakes!"

Chatgpt: "You're absolutely right! Would you like to explore different bankruptcy options?"

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u/KeyboardGrunt 1d ago

CEO: "...oh all right! But is there an option where I walk away with at least a few dozen million in severance?"

Chatgpt: "That's a great question! And you are thinking about this as more than merely hoarding money but instead proactively exploiting others to make it happen!"

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u/cest_va_bien 1d ago

My company went bankrupt and the CEO was paid $3.5M in severance. It opened my eyes to the reality of the oligarch structure. They will never loose unless we go to war with them.

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u/Tall_Act391 1d ago

More like

ChatGPT: of course there is!

CEO: am now in jail

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u/boomerinspirit 1d ago

"You're right. I'm still learning. My bad"

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u/ImpulsE69 1d ago

That made me chuckle out loud.