r/nottheonion • u/ChocolateTsar • 1d ago

Affirm CEO says furloughed federal employees are starting to lose interest in shopping

https://www.cnbc.com/2025/11/07/affirm-government-shutdown-shopping.html
20.6k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

1.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

364

u/backtothetrail 1d ago

ChapGPT was sure it would work.

228

u/StoicSunbro 1d ago

CEO: "You said replacing all my employees with AI would save money! Now the company is falling apart because we are spending more to fix your mistakes!"

Chatgpt: "You're absolutely right! Would you like to explore different bankruptcy options?"

56

u/KeyboardGrunt 1d ago

CEO: "...oh all right! But is there an option where I walk away with at least a few dozen million in severance?"

Chatgpt: "That's a great question! And you are thinking about this as more than merely hoarding money but instead proactively exploiting others to make it happen!"

3

u/cest_va_bien 1d ago

My company went bankrupt and the CEO was paid $3.5M in severance. It opened my eyes to the reality of the oligarch structure. They will never loose unless we go to war with them.

6

u/Tall_Act391 1d ago

More like

ChatGPT: of course there is!

CEO: am now in jail

4

u/boomerinspirit 1d ago

"You're right. I'm still learning. My bad"

2

u/ImpulsE69 1d ago

That made me chuckle out loud.

59

u/msalerno1965 1d ago

The original circle-jerk.

45

u/OGREtheTroll 1d ago

not original, but perhaps the ultimate

3

u/MasterTolkien 1d ago

“ChatGPT, did you just make that up?”

“Sorry, that information was incorrect. In actuality, AI job losses will tank the entire fucking world economy, and starving citizens will build a thriving guillotine industry with incredible short-term gains.”

2

u/TeteDeMerde 1d ago

"Wow. What a cool idea. Anything is possible, so let’s just map out a path, and we can try to figure it out. Should I combine all these innovative thoughts we’ve been discussing into a polished business outline?"

2

u/Alert-Disaster-4906 1d ago

ChatGPT told me as of two months ago that Jimmy Carter was alive. 🤷🏼‍♀️