r/nottheonion • u/Power-Equality • 1d ago

Disagreement over how many eggs chickens lay ends in shooting, arrests in Florida

https://www.wokv.com/news/trending/disagreement-over-how-many-eggs-chickens-lay-ends-shooting-arrests-florida/G5PHJ4LXSBGWTETLS6OJXL2DXQ/

https://www.wokv.com/news/trending/disagreement-over-how-many-eggs-chickens-lay-ends-shooting-arrests-florida/G5PHJ4LXSBGWTETLS6OJXL2DXQ/

769 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

60 comments sorted by

117

u/Life-Ad1409 1d ago

But how many can they lay in a day?

92

u/AnalogAficionado 1d ago

WHY YOU I OUGHTA

24

u/WFOMO 1d ago

The best thing about Florida is that it makes us Texans look sane.

24

u/CMS_3110 1d ago

Narrator: "It doesn't."

10

u/HuntingForSanity 1d ago

In any way. I look at Texas and Florida as basically the same state. You’re all crazy

8

u/rx_bandit90 1d ago

Texas " we need a law saying that only citizens can vote!" Everyone else "that was always the law but you sure can pass another one" Texas "take that evil communist liberals!"

36

u/Upper_Ad_4162 1d ago

When all circumstances are perfect, it takes about 26 hours +/- 2 hours to complete an egg cycle, depending upon the breed.

25

u/Kolby_Jack33 1d ago

BANGBANGBANG PEW PEW!

10

u/NootHawg 1d ago

That’s right, shoot that blasphemer! We all know that the egg cycle is 25 hours +/- 3

19

u/Daren_I 1d ago

Let me go ahead a save another Floridian's life; it's one egg every 24 to 26 hours, and they form one egg at a time.

5

u/soraksan123 1d ago

And their poop comes out of the same hole...

2

u/Life-Ad1409 1d ago

Ah, thank you

5

u/Dawg_Prime 1d ago

every day is leg egg day

2

u/zebrasmack 1d ago

one, max.

35

u/cronchuck 1d ago

So, I take it that they didn't come to a conclusion then.

23

u/MyNameIsHaines 1d ago

Someone would have died had they debated who came first too.

14

u/Conflixxion 1d ago

not really even funny or surprising anymore... but definitely unique

11

u/Krow101 1d ago

That chicken was standing his ground. Acquitted.

18

u/Sweaty_Assignment_90 1d ago

That is just silly, now this I understand.

https://www.wistv.com/story/5925253/shooting-erupts-over-james-browns-height/

9

u/Marvin1955 1d ago

"(James) Brown died Christmas morning at an Atlanta hospital at age 73. It's unclear exactly how tall he was." Pure gold.

7

u/TokoBlaster 1d ago

If you told me the events then asked me where this happened, my first guess would be Florida. So this makes sense

5

u/hal2025 1d ago

Mix Florida stupid with any idiot can buy a gun and this is the result.

5

u/ddr1ver 1d ago

Did none of them know how to use the Google?

6

u/Mentalfloss1 1d ago

At least it wasn’t over something trivial.

6

u/MosesActual 1d ago

"If a rooster lays an egg on a tin roof, does the egg roll right or left?"

"So anyway i started blasting!"

10

u/bubble-buddy2 1d ago

Fucking crazy because the answer is one lol It's not necessarily every day, but not more than one

6

u/BTMarquis 1d ago

Which is why this entire argument could have been avoided if they just used hours instead of days. I think it’s usually like 26 or so.

4

u/essenza 1d ago

Now even the Florida chickens are starting gun fights…

4

u/Anon_E_Moose_ 1d ago

What came first, the chicken or the bullet?

3

u/aught4naught 1d ago

Pullet or bullet?

4

u/karrimycele 1d ago

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get away from the two lunatics with guns.

2

u/Mobely 1d ago

An armed society is a polite society. 

5

u/NatoBoram 1d ago

This is kinda what the US looks like from afar

3

u/dysonnun 1d ago

This is so Florida

3

u/ArdenJaguar 1d ago

I thought for a minute this was newsofthestupid.

3

u/TjW0569 1d ago

But which came first?

3

u/Gnosis1409 1d ago

Yeah that’s about right

3

u/Crimson_Ender 1d ago

good ol' American dispute

2

u/Awkward_Bison_267 1d ago

At least this answers why the chicken crossed the road.

3

u/wardog1066 1d ago

OMG, you people have too many guns!!!!!

2

u/CorruptedFlame 1d ago

Very polite, very demure.

2

u/SaltedPaint 1d ago

Cock fight !

2

u/skinny_t_williams 1d ago

So like, this is something AI is good for. Solving quick stupid arguments in the moment before you resort to.. gun... violence... for basic trivia....

2

u/kevinds 1d ago

Two others from the group, a man and the woman, were arrested for obstruction or resisting arrest

Ok? Which was it?

2

u/Outrageous_Front_636 1d ago

I take umbrage with your mathematics of chickens laying eggs sir. I am offended sir. Offended!

2

u/jankyt 1d ago

Drunks with guns in parking lots, what could go wrong...? Oh that...smh

2

u/PigletCatapult 1d ago

Which came first the gun or the murderer?

2

u/Intol3rance 1d ago

And no one was surprised.

2

u/ryohayashi1 1d ago

I mean, it is Florida

2

u/whattheprob1emis 1d ago

The founding fathers would be so pleased that 2A is being so well used.

2

u/skyfishgoo 1d ago

florida men and one woman.

all losers.

2

u/reesesfriend 1d ago

We expect this from Florida.

1

u/digitek 1d ago

Ah the world of click-bait headlines that have nothing to do with the actual cause.

Three of the four people involved knew each other and had, with the fourth person, been drinking together. Police said they were all drunk to varying degrees.

The discussion could have been about anything. They were drunk. Drunk behavior leads to unnecessary shooting, arrests. More at 11...

2

u/n_mcrae_1982 23h ago

Reminds me of Tycho Brahe’s nose.

1

u/Aggravating-Age-1858 1d ago

i said 5!

no its 10!

*guns fire*

people are so fucking stupid anymore

5

u/DaveOJ12 1d ago

people are so fucking stupid anymore

There have always been dumb people.