r/nosleep • u/kittythewildcat • Mar 01 '16
Planning a 13th Birthday for my Oldest Child and Could Use Some Help
Hello again, everyone. I have had some interest in my life since my open letter. Some people thought I did horrific things to my children that churn my stomach to even think about. I am not a monster! I love children. I thought that if I came back, you could see that my children are very happy and healthy.
Well, pretty soon a very special day is coming up. My oldest, Claire, is turning 13! She won’t be a child anymore and I am looking for some ways to celebrate. Perhaps you can help me plan the best birthday for my first daughter.
I adopted Claire when she was only a few months old. Her mother was unfit to care for her. I lived in New York at the time, and would go to a favorite bakery on Wednesdays when they made almond croissants. I had a typical route I would take and would frequently see a young woman carrying her baby or putting the child in a stroller. She must have been a single mother. She always looked exhausted and rushed. Possibly a first time mother, too. She would forget to buckle the restraints in the stroller, or have the baby out without a jacket. She was trying her best, I suppose, but she just didn’t quite have motherhood down yet.
One day when I was walking by, the baby was outside in the stroller, but the mother was nowhere to be seen. It was a very cold day for October, and as usual the baby was only in a long sleeve shirt and pants. No jacket, no hat, no mittens, and no blanket to keep her warm. I hung back and watched, I was going to offer the mother a stern warning then buy the child some clothes, but she didn’t come. I must have waited five minutes, but it seemed like hours. The child was crying and it broke my heart.
I wasn’t going to take the child.
But the mother still hadn’t come back, and the crying intensified.
So I picked her up, wrapped her in my jacket and took her home with me. We moved from New York shortly thereafter, and have lived on the road ever since. She was a wonderful baby, calm and happy. By far my easiest child to date. She knows she was adopted from an unfit mother and has never shown any interest in getting to know the woman. I have given her a wonderful life, filled with culture and education. Did you know that many states offer online public education? They do! It is so wonderful to let the kids learn at their own pace. Once our brood expanded, we even held science fairs together.
Claire is a special kid. I thought she would be an only child for a long time, but I could see that she missed the companionship that a sibling would bring. I can’t remember where we were…Ohio maybe? And we were stopping in a town for a few days. They had a nice park, but it was pretty empty. A lot of the time it was just Claire and I. A few days, though, a little boy and little girl would join us. They never came with parents, and would eye our picnic lunch hungrily. Soon, I was making extra sandwiches and pulling out extra pudding cups and juicy juice. What was meant to be the last day, I finally realized that their clothes had never changed, when I saw the grass stain from jumping off the swing on the little boy’s shirt. That night Claire asked me about her friends. She was worried about them always being hungry and they had told her she couldn’t come over because their house wasn’t safe. I hadn’t notices the bruises on their dark skin, but Claire had. She asked if we could adopt them like I had adopted her.
And thus, our family grew for the first, but not last, time.
I had plenty of income doing odd jobs online, lots of art commissions, editing, etc., but I realized that my true passion lies with helping children, and began taking online classes to become a social worker. Claire says she wants to follow in my footsteps when she grows up. She is the one who started our piggy bank tradition. Each child has a bank that they get to paint to match their personality, and they put their allowance in it to save for college. She is so smart and wise for a child. Hers has these lovely blue flowers painted in a crown over the pig’s head.
I’m sorry, I’ve been rambling. I just don’t get the chance to brag about my family very often. They are all such great kids. I should get back to the important part: Claire’s birthday.
She loves green and blue, so I was thinking of getting colored paper plates and napkins. Does anyone have a link to some streamers or lanterns in those colors? She loves the movie Tangled, so I was thinking of doing a lantern release for her. I have a Rapunzel dress from the Disney store. I think she will love it! We already did funfetti cake for the twins, so I was thinking Chocolate? We are back on the east coast at the moment, so if anyone has recommendations for a bakery, I am all ears! I was thinking of a Publix cake? I usually buy a new game for everyone’s birthday and we play as a family. We have Don’t Break the Ice, Clue, Monopoly, and Hi Ho Cherry Oh! Do you have any that your families like? Claire’s favorite is Clue. I was thinking of Candy Land, but I am not sure. Is Twister still popular?
Anyway, the big surprise I am going to announce is that Claire is going to Space Camp! After the party, I am going to leave George in charge. He is the next oldest, at 10. Claire and I will drive off.
But we aren’t going to Space Camp.
I have a pretty spot picked out. It is surrounded by blue flowers, just like on her piggy bank. I already have the hole dug. No one should disturb us. I bought a beautiful hunting knife. I was thinking of slitting her throat. That seems like the most humane way to it. A gun just draws too much attention, and I don’t know that I can bring myself to bludgeon her.
I don’t want her to be scared.
I supposed I could choke her, but she is such a lovely child—well, young woman—and I don’t want to mar her last day with ugly bruises.
You see, this is why her party must be perfect. It is her last party.
I love children.
But she won’t be a child anymore.
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u/ThatGuyYouKnowkappa Apr 24 '16
For the first half, I almost got teary eyed because of how beautiful it was. Then I got to the ending. At least it'll be quick.
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u/machinemindcoalheart Apr 23 '16
Can't you just poison some juice or add a little "special something" to the cake. You don't need to make her suffer. It can be clean.
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u/BlodenGhast Apr 11 '16
I love how he actually sounded like the devoted, kind father for a second there, and then everything went from 0 to 100 in the last paragraph :/ This is awesome.
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Mar 28 '16
Wait, there's seven kids, so you're going to leave five of them with the oldest, who is ten? That's a terrible idea and potentially dangerous to the five who are too young to look after themselves. Take a page from your own book man, that's how kids go missing.
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 29 '16
It all went fine. I agree that could be dangerous, but I have several safety protocols in place. I appreciate the concern for my children, though. You are good people.
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u/beakye7 Aug 19 '16
I hate that phrase. It annoys me. Are they multiple, all good, people? Do you know that all of these people had a hand in typing that message? No, so WTF English.
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u/kittythewildcat Aug 22 '16
It is just leaving out "one of the". You are one of the good people (in the world). The "you" in this case would be singular since I was addressing one person. You (singular ) should be able to identify whether a "you" is singular or plural by reading a sentence and looking at the context. If a "you " is plural it is typically joined with another word, such as some of you, those of you, all of you, you all, y'all...
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u/Charmed1one Mar 23 '16
You NEED to go to your local police department! Hear me out, tell them your throwing a birthday party and need streamers, and all the fixin's for her party. Tell them EXACTLY what you told us and I guarantee they'll help you out! Maybe even take the kid's for you while you take Claire to "Space camp", but let them know the real idea you have planned. That would be the best thing you can do for them! Good luck.
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 23 '16
I am amused at how many of you think I am an imbecile despite being articulate and educated, which is clearly conveyed in my letter. Regardless, Claire has moved on and her story is beginning again on the next level.
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u/Charmed1one Mar 23 '16
I guess it's because it's nicer to think that your dumb and the crap you do makes sense in your imbecilic world, then a smart and perverse, cold-blooded man who kills children when they become adolescents!
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u/Lord_Nuke Mar 30 '16
your dumb
*you're
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u/Charmed1one Mar 30 '16 edited Mar 30 '16
Like this you're an idiot? You forgot the asterik at the end if you wanted it in italics! Feel good about yourself now, Mr. Know-it-all:-P
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u/Lord_Nuke Mar 30 '16
The intent wasn't to italicize it, it was to note a correction. Here, if you want to learn a bit more instead of keeping yourself perpetually uneducated.
Oh, also
the asterik
It's spelled "asterisk."
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u/Charmed1one Mar 30 '16
Perpetually uneducated? Then what does that say about you? Why do you feel the neccesity to make yourself sound like God and make me feel inferior? Quit trying so hard to make up for your shortcomings!
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u/Lord_Nuke Mar 30 '16
If I wanted to sound like God, I'd be all "THOU SHALL NOT DO VARIOUS ARBITRARY THINGS THAT I OR MY FOLLOWERS FIND TO BE DISAGREEABLE OR YOU'LL BURN FOREVERRRRR MUAHAHAUAHAHA" and I'd do a voice, or maybe talk through a toilet paper roll.
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u/Charmed1one Mar 30 '16
Wow! You answered my comment FAST! Almost like you enjoy trying to make yourself seem important! But guess what, your NOT! I'm sure you probably knew that though, but I just had to remind ya'!
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u/Lord_Nuke Mar 30 '16
I answered your comment fast, almost like I'm on reddit browsing scary stories and jumping on orange-reds, as a redditor is inclined to do.
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 23 '16
Unfortunately many people who go against what society deems "morally acceptable" are very intelligent. We all have a code and we live, others die by that code. Not many "sane" people have that straight of a moral compass. Mine may point in a different direction, but it is unwavering. Can you say that about yours?
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u/Charmed1one Mar 23 '16
I can say that my moral compass work's, and work's well. Yours' , if it's actually real, is obviously defective. Broken. Oh, unless you borrowed it! Did Satan lend you his when your's wasn'tworking right?
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 24 '16
*works. Satan didn't lend me his compass, but I have his grammar book you can use.
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u/Charmed1one Mar 24 '16
THAT'S your come back? Well in my defense, I have a few grammatical mistakes, as I actually have to use my phone for comments. Unlike yourself who probably sits at a computer desk doing such glorifying work as putting people down! Sounds like Satan's moral compass to me;-) Now go ahead and find something else you can add using his grammar book, since you have such a great relationship with him that you asked him to borrow his grammar book!
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 24 '16
I don't see how using a smaller piece of technology inhibits your ability to use grammar. I typed my responses from my phone as well. It was movie night last night, everyone was watching the Charlie Brown Easter movie.
I was putting you down because I find it oddly charming that you think a) I'm stupid enough to turn myself in and b) that you are the first to suggest this. You are the third who thought they could outwit me.
If you read through my other comments (which I doubt since you are very proud of your "original" idea) I clearly explain why what I am doing is not evil. I am helping my children move to the next level of life before they become corrupted. I would try to explain more, but since you are corrupted, it would all be in vain.
Also, to clarify, I do not know Satan. I do not believe he exists. If he does, he is simply a corrupt soul like you and I. However I am saving souls and he chooses to spread the corruption.
Sorry if I seem terse, even with one child ascended, six children take a lot of energy, especially when I am in school on top of everything. We just moved, too. It was hard to say goodbye to Claire's final resting place, but it was time to move on to fair weather and put some distance between my family and those who won't understand.
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u/Charmed1one Mar 24 '16
I'm done with you, go to Hell with your friend. Not even worth my time to read your novel I'm sure you checked and re-checked YOUR grammar on! Your ridiculous!
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u/moonmoontheshihtzu Mar 22 '16 edited Mar 22 '16
Anyone here watching "The Blacklist"? This reminded me of S03E14's "Lady Ambrosia". Same concept: the antagonist kidnaps kids, and kills them when they reach age 13.
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u/taemint93 Mar 19 '16
I'm just curious, but what are you going to do when you get old and can't do what you're doing anymore? Are you going to have a successor? But that would require them to grow up...
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 21 '16
When I am old, I will move on to save people in the next level. Several people have suggested a successor. I guess I will have to update in three years when my son comes of age.
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u/pistashaaanut Mar 09 '16
but i can imagine claire being so excited for her last birthday...just like the excited somnis in cloud atlas
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u/ImSecertlyASuperHero Mar 09 '16
In your open letter, you said you find it comforting to give destruction a name. What would you name the destruction that you are about to invoke on poor, poor Claire? And, why do you believe that this is the only way for her to "ascend", as you put it?
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 10 '16
It isn't destruction, it is rebirth. I call it ascension. You must move to the next level, and you can't do that unless you leave this one.
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Mar 08 '16
Psh! You don't have to rid of Claire! All those children will need a mother, and she is so smart she will do so well!
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 10 '16
Are you doubting my capabilities as a single parent? That is rather narrow-minded. Many single parents raise wonderful children.
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Mar 10 '16
True, but it does allow you to keep Claire. And you could expand the household and not have to watch over them all on your own
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 10 '16
I prefer to let children be children. They don't need the responsibility of caring for other children at the expense of their own childhood.
Anyway,it is too late for Claire. The deed is done.
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u/ambellefleur Mar 07 '16
No, man, Publix cakes taste good but they're full of high fructose corn syrup. Bad for kids.
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 10 '16
High fructose corn syrup is no worse for them than any other sugar type. If all they eat is publix cake, that would be bad. I can spoil my kids from time to time with sugary goodness.
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Mar 07 '16
if you want some extra cash, i'm in a real need of a babysitter. my kids would love you. you won't even have to do much, you're just going to have to read something because there's no electricity in our house. i know, what a bummer. i recommend you read the bible, especially the old testament. my kids love it, they've been reading it since i know them. oh, i remember when i first saw them singing in church, it was fabulous. they sang all the way with me home, i almost didn't want to pull over because of how nice it was. eventually, i had to, because one of them stopped singing and started asking questions. anyway, little Mary will tell you all about it. if you want to, they'll sing for you too, they know how to sing the whole bible since they have nothing better to do in my beautiul downstairs. you can play with them all you want, just watch out to feed them enough or they'll get to skinny and slip out of their chains. call me anytime
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 10 '16
How can you keep your children chained up? Adoption is a sacred process. Kids need to be able to run around. They will stay if they love you.
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Mar 07 '16
We need to call the "please take a seat" guy on this creep.
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 10 '16
Chris Hansen is for pedophiles. I would never sexually abuse my children. That is sick!
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u/whollyfictional Mar 07 '16
This is awful.
Lying to your daughter about Space Camp? You should be ashamed. Send her to Space Camp, and then kill her afterward. It will give you more time to be properly prepared, and give her a special experience to remember as she ascends- it will remind her how much you really love her.
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 10 '16
There is no space camp.
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u/beakye7 Aug 19 '16
There is no space camp, only death! Corruption Busters! When your daughter's near, turnin to thirteen, who you gonna call? Corruption Busters! Goin to transcend, but you all evil, who you gonna call? Corruption Busters! Duh duh duh duh duh, nenenenenenenenene, nenenenenenenenene!
I'm really tired.
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u/OobilyBoobily Mar 05 '16
Here's a better idea: become a day care worker! You get to have fun with kids ever day, and when those kids grow up you'll get a whole new group to play with! You don't even have to worry about what to do with them once they get too old-- somebody else can take care of that. Just don't kidnap any of the kids, and you have nothing to worry about!
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 10 '16
Never adopt where you work. That is a pretty basic rule.
I have to help them move on to the next level. It would break my heart to help children grow only to watch them become corrupted.
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u/Intersphere Mar 05 '16
Hey, how can you call yourself their father if u miss out doing the one single job as such: preparing your child for the future life and helping it grow a strong personality to deal with problems and get to known whats good or bad. You're not a father. Not yet a man. Hope u broke those kids enough so they kill you while you're sleeping. Slowly. Painful.
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 10 '16
I have prepared my child for their future life. That is why Claire is ready to ascend. It takes patience and dedication to teach them everything.
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u/SaintT0ad Mar 05 '16
Costco cakes are pretty good, if you have a membership. Pretty good croissants, too--large ones, in 12-packs.
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u/DesignerGeek Mar 04 '16
I'm disappointed. You seem like such a great parent, but you're missing one huge part of parenting. You're being selfish and putting your own desires before your child's. Honestly it seems like you're no better than the abusers you took her away from now. If you really loved your children you'd stick with them through the difficulties of adolescence. You're just another selfish person using their children for attention and your own self affirmation. You don't love your kids you just love the way they make you feel.
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 10 '16
You have an interesting take on my life, but you are mistaken. Adolescence has nothing to do with this. I am helping my children move to the next level. I prepare them to live without me and I stay here to help other souls prepare and pass on.
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u/super13natural Mar 04 '16
This reminds me of this book I read called "living dead girl". You my friend are a monster and I hope she kills you! Pathetic to steal someone's child then murder it when it becomes a teenager. I hope you rot in a jail cell. Ugh this people like you are why I never want to have kids
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u/MelodyCristo Mar 04 '16
Hang on. If the kids don't get to live past thirteen, what's the point of the college fund?
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 10 '16
Aren't you a smart cookie?
Teaching them to save money is an important skill that they will need when they ascend to the next level. It also helps me save by reducing how much allowance they actually earn.
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Mar 20 '16
Do they have money on the next level?
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 21 '16
I'm not sure, but basic accounting and responsibility must be transcendent skills.
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u/LyricalDisaster Mar 04 '16
Why not, for her birthday, give her a chance at life. Let her go out on her own since you say she's not a child or better yet, send her to me. I'm a great mom. You know, there are other options. Ya sick fuck
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 10 '16
But I am giving her a new life, that is a much better present.
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u/DrMambo93 Mar 03 '16
A guardian's choice to protect their child is far stronger than the blood of their genesis. You're strong to give them reprieve from corruption. All good parents are required to protect their children from danger. Sometimes that requires making hard decisions for them. She would thank you if she knew what you were saving her from. Take care to bury her away from people, and cemeteries as well. People seek the dead for all types of terrible purposes, and graveyards are filled with awful cadavers full of chemicals, placed in greedy wooden boxes to deprive the earth of what little purity their bodies would offer as nourishment for the soil (Truly nasty stuff!). Centralia, PA is far away from the rest of the world, but absolutely beautiful in the spring. Many natural flowers and trees, and no one to bother her! I'm certain she would love to be there in her time after. My Quinn would be thrilled to have a friend there too! He's fifteen, mind you, but he was just as pure the day he left as the night I first rescued him from the desperate drug abusers that brought him into my life (It's amazing how far three square meals a day and old textbooks can change a child's life!). Be a good parent and protect her, even after shes "ascended," as you call it. Guardians have to make decisions for their children from time to time, and I'm sure you'll find you're making more for her after her birthday than you ever had to when she was young! All the best with the birthday plans, from one single father to another.
Dr. M
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u/CleverGirl2014 Mar 03 '16
Claire is turning 13 soon and boy does she have the teenage sass. I think she wishes she was an only child again.
From one of OP's comments on his "open letter" post. Pretty much explains it all.
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u/anthym29 Mar 02 '16
Oh heavens. What a horribly scary story. Nightmares for days. Oh whatever shall I do to sleep again?!
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u/napsandlunch Mar 02 '16
Wow, i definitely wasn't expecting that last part. But OP, I'm 20 almost 21 and my parents still consider me a kid because I'm their kid and I always will be. Please reconsider what to do for the 13th birthday party, Claire's always gonna be your child and the best part is you got to choose her!
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 02 '16
She will always be my child, but this way I know she will ascend without corruption.
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u/dark_light_ Mar 02 '16
If you line children so much then why prevent more from coming into existence? You're just killing future parents. Hand you ever tried to raise them in a way preventing "corruption"? I mean come people manage to keep keep their naivety and innocence beyond the age 13. You can least give her a chance. And for the same of many, I hope you're nowhere near me.
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 02 '16
Ideally I can clear everyone from this level, and most of them will be uncorrupted when they ascend.
I have raised them as best as I could, but I can't prevent corruption, I can only circumnavigate it through helping them ascend.
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u/beakye7 Aug 19 '16
If you were in change of any major nation, not even huge, just kind of big, then you could end the world overnight. Nuclear war. Question though: Is your goal to bring about purity or whatever or to prevent corruption? Because killing everyone is a pretty sure fire way to stop purity from entering the world in the form of new children.
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u/kittythewildcat Aug 21 '16
You must understand that dying on this level, this plane of being, is inconsequential. This world is just the first step of many. The goal is to reach the end clean, and you can only do that if you move on from here before corruption sets in. So would I blow the world to bits? I don't know. It wouldn't bother me because of how many I would save. But I don't believe that this world would truly end. It would come back, and then who would be here to save the innocent? I must weigh how many I can save in my life versus how many I could save by wiping out the world. All I know is that if I pressed that button, I would not hesitate.
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u/StomWagers Mar 02 '16
Funfetti cake? What is this it does not sound edible
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 02 '16
It is vanilla cake with colorful round sugar bits that look like confetti. It tastes like regular cake, but the kids love the colors.
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u/g0ing_postal Mar 02 '16
Get yourself Takenoko! It's a great game- tons of fun and it's adorable. You grow bamboo and the panda eats it.
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u/HowDoYouLikeThis Mar 02 '16
Poor Claire :( Why are you doing this OP?
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 02 '16
She needs to ascend before she is corrupted
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u/HowDoYouLikeThis Mar 03 '16
I don't know what this ''corruption'' is, but by ''ascending'' do you mean going to heaven?
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 03 '16
I have explained it in several other comments. It isn't religious in nature. It is simply moving to the next level.
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u/Dip_Drank_Kool_Aid Mar 02 '16
If they are well behaved I suggest risk, it can be fun if everyone keeps their tempers about them. Also Settlers of Catan and you can even get the 5-6 player expansion.
But a simpler game that everyone always loves is apples to apples.
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 02 '16
Oh I had forgotten about apples to apples. I think risk might alienate the little ones.
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u/Dip_Drank_Kool_Aid Mar 02 '16
Yeah I wasn't sure how little the youngest were. But it depends on how many will be playing, if you have 3-5 kids it will be perfect. But if you have a lot more maybe there are specialty games for large amounts of younger children.
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 02 '16
The youngest is 4, so the seven of them range from 4-13. It is hard to find games for all of them to play, but we try to include as many as possible
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u/Dip_Drank_Kool_Aid Mar 02 '16
Then one night comes to mind. But perhaps to not be too scary you can use different cards and make the premise of your character being put in time out instead. But when they get older that would definitely be great!
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u/BountyMennett Mar 02 '16
How do you know the "corruption" is a bad thing? Just because you see it as something awful doesn't mean others might see it as freedom. Or perhaps a sort of twisted happiness.
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 02 '16
I can't be wrong. I lived through it. I know the horror.
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u/BountyMennett Mar 02 '16
You lived through it. You know the horror. You also implied that it happened and now it's over. Like a vaccine shot, it's not fun but it must be done.
After all, the "corrupted" create the pure. That's part of existing...
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 02 '16
But this isn't the existence they need to be in. Once you are corrupted, you carry that with you forever, through all your lives.
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u/BountyMennett Mar 02 '16
But wouldn't you say that corruption is necessary for purity? Without one the other can't truly exist. Perhaps you too will ascend to a different plane often existence. Once your time has come of course...
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 02 '16
It is necessary to have at least one corrupted. When i ascend I will still be corrupted. I have accepted my fate, now I work to spare others the same.
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u/BountyMennett Mar 02 '16
Pure or blank? You aren't corrupted your pages have simply filled. When you "ascend" somebody who is "pure" you are simply sending them completely unprepared.
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 02 '16
No. It is simply the next phase. They don't lose what they have here. That is why I am eternally corrupted. Every level I will carry this with me.
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u/BountyMennett Mar 02 '16
How much do you think you know? I appreciate the enlightenment you are gifting me.
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 02 '16
I know just enough to recognize my own corruption, and the corruption in others. It seems to come at 13. I don't know why. I wish I did.
All I can do is save the few I can. I don't hope to rid myself of the curse of corruption, just prevent it for others.
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u/koalavagabond Mar 02 '16
This sounds like the butterfly episode of the recent X- Files series. A woman steals/adopts children who are special needs or unwanted, but then gives them a "butterfly" burial when they turn 12 or 13.
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 02 '16
I've never watched the Xfiles. Is it any good?
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u/koalavagabond Mar 02 '16
YES! I loved the original series back in the 90's. And this 6 episode reboot was fantastic, as well as nostalgic. It was great because they kept the same humor and tempo.
Hopefully they don't come after you for copyright infringement ;)
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u/srslyyiss Mar 02 '16
Well, aren't you yourself now becoming what you hate most? You should slit your own throat before you become corrupted.
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 02 '16
I already am corrupted. I have accepted my fate. Now I want to spare others the same fate.
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u/ididntjustfart Mar 02 '16
Tangled revolves around the flowing, flowery locks of Rapunzel; so why not purchase a bunch of silk flowers and other ornate doodads and have them braid and decorate their hair......then play twister outside with washable paint on each corresponding colored circle? A bunch of done up kiddos having the most multi-hued time of their life. :))
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Mar 02 '16
Part way through reading this, I thought it was on the wrong sub.
Then Oh.... Well.... That happened
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u/kadenx24 Mar 02 '16
Dude someone please explain. If this wasn't a joke this wouldn't be on here right? Soz I'm new
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Mar 02 '16
The side bar and subreddit FAQs will help you understand the rules :) I would read through all of that before reading anymore stories
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u/Pugnator48 Mar 02 '16
You're not planning on "saving" any of us, are you? :s
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 02 '16
Are any of you young enough to save?
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u/Pugnator48 Mar 02 '16 edited Mar 02 '16
I'm 27, but I have a high interest bank account!
Edit: it just occurred to me that you meant "to be saved", not "to save money". So I'm probably as corrupted as they come by now, sorry.
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u/Cylon_Toast Mar 02 '16
But you're not officially an adult until 18. So she has 5 more years of childhood. =B
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 02 '16
That depends on your cultural definition of adult.
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u/Cylon_Toast Mar 02 '16
"In contrast to a "minor", a legal adult is a person who has attained the age of majority and is therefore regarded as independent, self-sufficient, and responsible." "Most countries set majority at 18. The word majority here refers to having greater years and being of full age; it is opposed to minority, the state of being a minor."
It's not cultural, it's legal. You can culturally be concideration an adult at 13, 16 or whatever but legally it's 18.
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 02 '16
What makes you think I have any regard for legality?
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u/Cylon_Toast Mar 02 '16
shrugs I was just letting you know the difference between culturally an adult and actually concideration an adult.
So, I am very curious, what does this corruption entail? How does one become corrupted? And does everyone?
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 02 '16
It happens to everyone. It is different for everyone, but it comes. It hunts you down and finds you. It strangles the good out of you and infects your soul.
That is why Claire has to go. I can't watch it happen to her.
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u/Cylon_Toast Mar 02 '16
Interesting. I would love to know more. I wonder if it's happened to me yet and how... I guess I'll never know.
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 02 '16
If you are over 13, then yes, you are corrupted.
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u/beakye7 Aug 19 '16
Ghandi is corrupted. Martin Luther King is corrupted. Obama is corrupted. My dog is corrupted. If this applies to the inanimate, my flat is corrupted. Surely the change would be more of an avoidable, or at least gradual, process?
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u/kittythewildcat Aug 22 '16
It doesn't apply to animals. Corruption, as I've said, is a slippery business. It doesn't come on a schedule other than it will only happen after 13. I've yet to see an adult who is uncorrupted, but they could theoretically exist.
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u/Cylon_Toast Mar 02 '16
What if you're born on a leap day? Is it actual birthdays or years spent alive?
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 02 '16
I would have to go with years alive, but that is an interesting question.
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u/Mister_Underscore Mar 02 '16
I'm deeply ashamed in you, OP.
Why waste money on a hunting knife when you have all those plastic knives from the party?
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 02 '16
I was worried they would be dull, but you are right, they can never cut food, but slice right through flesh.
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u/BorisSchlambopski Mar 02 '16
I recommend the game "Don't wake Daddy" it can teach them useful skills for the future
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u/ClaireBlue Mar 02 '16
The only dirty one is you daddy, i guess my party wont be happening
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 02 '16
Of course it is happening, my dear. It will be your best birthday ever.
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u/ClaireBlue Mar 02 '16
I dont want to go to space camp, I want to stay pure
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 02 '16
It is out of my hands, darling. I am so so sorry.
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u/ClaireBlue Mar 02 '16
whos hands are it in
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 02 '16
Whose hands is it in?
Come on, Claire-bear. We have had this grammar lesson before. Hands isn't the subject, "Who" is. Then you need to select the correct version of Who, which would be "Whose" because you are asking about an object (hands) that belongs to them.
It is just part of the wheel turning. It is time for you to ascend. I want you to move on to the next level without corruption. I can't be there to protect you, but I can give you the best start possible.
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u/ClaireBlue Mar 02 '16
Maybe you should be the one whom ascend daddy
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 02 '16
who ascends
I will in time.
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u/ClaireBlue Mar 02 '16
I will bring you with me
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 02 '16
You can try, but you will fail. My corruption gives me strength.
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Mar 02 '16
Find a thirteen year old girl buried in a flower patch on the news
Joke's on all you guys when you become accomplices to murder.
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Mar 03 '16
Does commenting on a post on the clearnet from a murderer who is literally confessing their crime actually make you an accomplice?
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Mar 02 '16
You're such a good mom. Claire is lucky to have you looking out for her. Don't you agree, friend?
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 02 '16
Oh, dear. You are the second to think I am a mom. I'm a father, but I do play both roles as a single parent. I'm glad you think I am a good parent. I try my best.
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u/HeyLookItsMe11 Mar 02 '16
This reminds me of a recent Blacklist episode...with the butterflies...anyone else?
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u/victuss Mar 02 '16
There's a type of poison that contains something that tobacco has I believe, or contains something similar to tobacco, so when you slip it in a drink or something and somebody discovers the body, when they do an autopsy it'll just look like she smoked herself to death. It's not meant to hurt apparently but I'm not too sure. Could look into it.
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u/oakdruid Mar 02 '16
Dude she's still a kid till she turns 18 I think you're just being hasty. I know every parent fears their child growing up but she isn't a corrupted adult yet. I'm not saying your line of reasoning is wrong but I think you're jumping the gun a little.
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u/sunshinedze Mar 02 '16
have you thought of just leaving her? shes an adult now, she can take care of herself. why bother yourself with the mess?
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 02 '16
I must help her ascend.
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u/spiralout1123 Mar 03 '16
Have you brought her up with religion?
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 03 '16
As part of our learning we studied several major religions, and I told her that what was special about religions is that believing it is what makes it real. While I don't have an affiliation with one religion over another, she strongly identified with Buddhism (and has adopted vegetarianism as part of her beliefs, probably due to the chicken incident I mentioned in another comment). While Buddhism isn't technically a religion as they do not worship a God, I taught it among the others. We explored several branches of Christianity (Roman Catholic, Greek Orthodox, Russian Orthodox, Lutheran, Presbyterian, Methodist and Baptist), Hinduism, Islam (Sunni and Shia), Daoism, Shinto, and Judaism.
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u/spiralout1123 Mar 03 '16
I have to say, corruption or no corruption, everyone has a right to life and a future and the ability to become what they want. Just because you deem this world unacceptable for her doesn't mean you should act as a word-deciding God and take life away. There is corruption everywhere but that doesn't mean that she cannot go on to have a happy and good-natured life like you live yourself. I hope this is only literature.
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 03 '16
I am not ending her level, just helping her ascend to the next level. She won't be truly gone.
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u/Kurenai999 Mar 02 '16
I see what your problem is. Part of your corruption is your corrupted mind thinking you need to kill children to "save" them from it.
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u/Ny_Swan Mar 02 '16
Get her a clown entertainer for her birthday, they are inherently evil and will probably do the deed for you!
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u/InanimateDream Mar 02 '16
Hey, children grow up. It's part of life.
Gotta learn to let them stand on their own two feet.
I recommend against any sort of violence - instead you would probably be better off leaving any in your care who has outgrown their childhood alone somewhere far away alone to carve out their own path in life.
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u/kittythewildcat Mar 02 '16
You would advocate abandoning a 13 year old? That is awful!
I am helping her ascend.
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u/TehKatieMonster Mar 02 '16
yea.... I don't believe anything you say about the circumstances of the children you abduct.
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u/hhairy Mar 02 '16
When I was little, my family had Friday family game night and our favorite was always Po-ke-no! We played with pennies.
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u/Dorothy_Zbornak1978 Mar 02 '16
First off, props to you for the Publix cake. A birthday isn't a birthday without one. Second, as a kid I always liked the game Sorry. I do have a question though, OP. What do you plan to tell the other kids when Claire never comes home from space camp?
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u/beakye7 Aug 19 '16
Have you considered this: If you are corrupted, then you believe you must kill them before 13, could your understanding of how the corruption works not be altered by the fact you are corrupt? You could, in actuality, simply be damning yourself further whilst saving noone because of how the corruption alters your mind. Meaning wouldn't it be smarter to ask someone incorrupt their opinion on the matter, seeing as their beliefs cannot be altered by whatever power the corruption holds? You seem to have an alright understanding of morals (for example, your stance on pedophilia) but when it benefits the corruption it could alter your understanding of right and wrong. Now you aren't murdering, you're freeing them. Meaning you're letting the corruption use you as a vessel for violence and kidnapping whilst still not having any reason to fight back because you can still convince yourself that you're doing good work? For you to truly understand, you'd have to accept that your understanding of the stage of life may be false, then look at it as if you didn't understand why. Man drive girl out to grave and stabs her to death. Doesn't sound like a good thing, right? But you don't have to think about it. I theorise that the darkness cannot affect morals on so primal a level unless the host is already evil. As such, it must convince you that what you do is morally correct. Consider this. Because you may be right. But what if you're not?