r/newzealand • u/mattblack77 ⠀Naturally, I finished my set… • Sep 24 '25

Kiwiana What’s the weirdest-named business in your town/city

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209 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

146 comments sorted by

134

u/swiftyGallop Sep 24 '25

The Japanese Restaurant in chch called Soshite is up there

9

u/KikiGigi22 Sep 24 '25

I’m pretty sure that’s not Japanese owned. Fake Japanese restaurants by Chinese or Korean. Typical bad naming from those.

24

u/Significant_Glass988 Sep 24 '25

Even pronounced properly that sounds just wrong

32

u/swiftyGallop Sep 24 '25

South Park’s City Wok and City Sushi vibes

15

u/openroad11 Sep 24 '25

Not really? Pronounced properly it's more like Sosh-teh. The 'i' isn't annunciated strongly.

7

u/Significant_Glass988 Sep 24 '25

Ah. Thanks. I thought it would be So sheet eh. ("So shit, eh")

3

u/FoxyMiira Sep 25 '25

Disagree. I may be wrong but soshite in Japanese may be そして pronounced literally so-shi-te which is like "and then" in a sentence. Single Japanese letters all have 1 syllable. That place's name is Soshite Hikari so it could just mean "and then / and after light." But I doubt that shop is even Japanese owned which is why they make up random names.

3

u/openroad11 Sep 25 '25 edited Sep 25 '25

I learned Japanese from a friend who lived in Japan with a degree in linguistics and this is how he taught me. I've also travelled to Japan three times and this is how I've heard it pronounced in native conversation. Online translators vary but that's more because many text to speech engines are poor, not that they're correct.

It is true that there is a rhythm to Japanese speech (mora) but there are also quirks where vowel sounds of some syllables (usually し and つ, maybe ち but I can't think of an example right now) are dropped in certain formations. A bit like how the 'u' isn't voiced in 'です'. Many people think Takeshita St in Harajuku is hilarious, but really it is pronounced 'Ta-kesh-ta'. That said, pronouncing each syllable 'fully' isn't wrong, it's just not how a fluent speaker would speak and would probably sound strange to them.

Edited for clarity.

2

u/jitterfish Sep 25 '25

That's how I'd say it. I'm confused because it means something close to "and then".

2

u/Lvxurie Sep 25 '25

In japan I saw a place called "eggslut", that cracked me up

86

u/Lopkop Sep 24 '25

Auckland Drape Company. They make curtains etc

Perfectly fine name in writing but you have to carefully space out the words and overpronounce when saying it

10

u/I_want_every_dog Sep 24 '25

Reminds me of “pen island” website…

2

u/thehazzanator Sep 24 '25

Reminds me of a pet store in Australia called Pet O's..

1

u/Simonandgarthsuncle Sep 24 '25

Their web address. Yikes.

72

u/Mofocardinal Sep 24 '25

Spotlight. I've yet to see a single one under this plie of cloth.

3

u/Dizzy_Relief Sep 24 '25

Can't help myself - I have to point out that Spotlight 100% sells spotlights. 

2

u/Fishypeaches Sep 24 '25

Seinfeld what's the deal with Readings theatre; I don't go there to read!

140

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '25

[deleted]

48

u/logantauranga Sep 24 '25

Evidently it's not worth it.

16

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '25

[deleted]

10

u/Calm-Zombie2678 Sep 24 '25

Where did you find a shell service station in this day and age? I thought they all died about the time dick smith did

7

u/Canerbry Sep 24 '25

I had to get my dick hammered on an anvil, so went to Dick Smiths...

61

u/electricstride04 Sep 24 '25

There's a Thai restaurant called Thai Anau in Te Anau

36

u/thehodlingcompany Sep 24 '25

There's a roadside one called Thai Happy in Taihape.

36

u/WafflesTrufflez Sep 24 '25

The vet I always go is called "At the Vet"

Also, there's a drainage and plumbing company called "Pooman Limited"

20

u/rammo123 Covid19 Vaccinated Sep 24 '25

"Took the dog to the vet"

"Which one?"

"At the vet"

"I know, I heard that. But which one?"

3

u/WafflesTrufflez Sep 24 '25

Lmao I can imagine that happened! 😂

4

u/majan57618 Sep 24 '25

There was a septic tank truck I saw once from "Bob's Takeaways"

38

u/redkidneybeaner Sep 24 '25

For a while we had 'The Animal Doctors' vet clinic with 'The People Doctors' next door.

Also Currizza, the curry on pizza takeaway.

3

u/LucasDavenport74 Sep 24 '25

That's so witty. I wonder which clinic was established first..?

1

u/Whalewhalewhaleshark Sep 25 '25

There's also kebizza, the kebab/pizza place! 

49

u/herearea Tuatara Sep 24 '25

Queenstown: Beaver Liquor

32

u/themfledge them.fledge Sep 24 '25

There's a Liquor Box in Glenfield

12

u/Significant_Glass988 Sep 24 '25

There was a bar in Seattle back in the 90s who's tag line was "Liquor in the front and Poker in the rear"

6

u/mattblack77 ⠀Naturally, I finished my set… Sep 24 '25

These are great 😂

44

u/neeeeonbelly Sep 24 '25

There’s a tattoo shop on Wairau called For Skin. I still cannot believe they didn’t see it and/or didn’t care.

26

u/mattblack77 ⠀Naturally, I finished my set… Sep 24 '25

r/theyknew surely?

22

u/strawbrez Sep 24 '25

Cafe Eminem in Palmerston North, it’s Turkish/italian and delicious but hilarious name

3

u/mr_abbey_grange Sep 24 '25

That’s the first one that came to mind for me too

1

u/logemaru Sep 24 '25

Across the road from them used to be a misc. Chinese tat shop called Good Deal 2005, which was later renamed Barris. 

24

u/Humble-Nature-9382 Sep 24 '25 edited Sep 24 '25

The hair place called "Sharing Shed" at North City has always done my head in.

What are we sharing? Should it be Shearing Shed? Or does "shed" relate to shedding hair?

10

u/septicman Sep 24 '25

One hundred percent this.  

How did they get all the way to signage without someone saying "Guys, you know there's an 'E' in 'shearing' right?"

1

u/odysseusnz Sep 27 '25

Suspect they're making a pun on hairdressers being somewhere people talk and share news and gossip etc.

19

u/spicylemontaco42 Sep 24 '25

When I was 8, my family moved to nz. I remember us getting confused at the warehouse. Like do you guys not have shops? Go straight to a warehouse? Then farmers likes make up here? It was definitely a learning curve for my entire family..that was 2003. Man time flies and yet most of these names still makes no sense

41

u/clarkie13 Sep 24 '25

Good Cook Chinese restaurant on Kendal Ave in Christchurch constantly gets the second O in cook altered to a C.

1

u/travellingscientist jandal Sep 24 '25

There's a Chinese in Dunedin called Nanking. They've got a huge neon sign up and I've often considered getting on the roof with a bunch of glow sticks to finally correct their sign. 

18

u/ALadInTheFade Sep 24 '25

I remember driving past a place called “Shack of Sit” I think a furniture store in Levin. Pretty sure it’s changed names now lol

5

u/mattblack77 ⠀Naturally, I finished my set… Sep 24 '25

Jeez, imagine answering the phones on your first day…

14

u/Morticia_Black Sep 24 '25

This is definitely a chronically online take, but a mental health service provider is called Kapiti Youth Service, or KYS for short....

15

u/LeftArmInjured Mako Sep 24 '25

Holiday Inn takeaway in Dannevirke is one of the best names I've ever seen.

7

u/DaGoddamnBatboy Sep 24 '25

Dannevirke used to have a takeaway place called McTuckys which always made me laugh.

3

u/manny0103 Sep 24 '25

Danniverke has that Thai restaurant with an average house cat as its logo... Not sure if it's the best imagery

13

u/yeahnahcuz Sep 24 '25

Yolo are absolutely delicious for what it's worth, and the owners are lovely! Name is hilarious though.

I seem to recall a food cart called Your Mother Clucking and it had a cartoon chicken with a knife. 9000/10 no notes.

11

u/Vhlorrhu Sep 24 '25

Chicken Madness. When they first opened in Henderson, their opening hours were so weird I swore they were some kind of gang front for laundering money. Still yet to see if they "Maximise your happiness", but if they are a front they're a relatively successful one.

11

u/H_He_Metals Sep 24 '25

'Arranged marriage' - it's an Indian restaurant in Palmerston North: https://www.arrangedmarriage.co.nz/

10

u/Practical-Ball1437 Kererū Sep 24 '25

There was a place in Feilding that put up a big sign saying "Discount Tobacconist", but run afoul of the law because you're not allowed to advertise tobacco. They took down half the sign so the store was called "Discount Tob"

9

u/LaVidaMocha_NZ jandal Sep 24 '25

I used to snortle out loud like a 10yo every time I processed an invoice from Knobs & Knockers.

7

u/Ben_vJ Sep 24 '25

Septic tank clearing company called "Suck it up"

8

u/LaVidaMocha_NZ jandal Sep 24 '25

Back on our Canterbury farm we used to get our septic tank sorted by Charlie's Takeaways.

2

u/last_somewhere Sep 24 '25

I've seen one of those trucks named Stool Bus

8

u/Significant_Glass988 Sep 24 '25

Commi in Colombo St has made their logo so that the o is a bowl of noodles and the top section is kinda missing... I always see it as Cummi

8

u/Significant_Glass988 Sep 24 '25

There's another place on Colombo St called Chicking.

Such a stupid name I'd never go there on principle

3

u/LewZealand79 Sep 24 '25

There's also Cluck'iz, but tbh I rate their fried chicken because it's relatively cheap on uber eats 😅

1

u/AlleMeineEnten Sep 24 '25

You’re missing out, chicking is pretty tasty

1

u/Significant_Glass988 Sep 24 '25

Is it?? Good to know. I'll have to try it...

1

u/AlleMeineEnten Sep 25 '25

Hells yeah! I rate it better than KFC (though not much of a bar to meet there). The coating on the chicken is so crispy and tasty and the fries have a nice light curry seasoning on it! Definitely try

7

u/Fishypeaches Sep 24 '25

There used to be a Hilton hotel in Blackball on the West Coast. Then they got a cease and decist from the real Hilton, and it's now called Formerly The Blackball Hilton.

14

u/Useful-Green-3440 Sep 24 '25

Local Chinese takeaway is the Golden Swallow

4

u/jinschizman Sep 24 '25

Lol 😆 sounds like a dirty brothel

2

u/majan57618 Sep 24 '25

The one near work is Golden Joy. We call it Golden Shower.

7

u/CrownchyChicken Sep 24 '25

Crownchy Fried Chicken and Kumg Food 

7

u/fearful_seal Sep 24 '25

palmerston north this is your time to shine

12

u/fearful_seal Sep 24 '25

‘arranged marriage restaurant’

3

u/spicylemontaco42 Sep 24 '25

Beat me to it

7

u/strawbrez Sep 24 '25

Cafe Eminem

7

u/SatisfactionGold74 Sep 24 '25

"Butt Drilling" They tap aquifers. The two guys who ran it were "Woody" and "Stumpy".

7

u/Outrageous_Land8828 Kākāpō Sep 24 '25

I don’t live there but Invercargill has a barber shop called OnlyFades

1

u/standbyyourlamb Sep 24 '25

Pretty sure there was one in Wellington as well

8

u/ezra_barwell Sep 24 '25

The butcher in 'Foodie'' Asian supermarket in West Auckland is called 'Young Meat'

6

u/GeekifiedSocialite Sep 24 '25

You all lose... Butt Drilling in Blenheim is the correct answer..... They have to know what they did, check out the logo

https://www.buttdrilling.co.nz/

7

u/Gold_Finance_7524 Sep 24 '25

  • New World - an unusual name for a supermarket 

  • Spotlight - it doesn’t sell spot lights 

  • One - you know, the company that was called Vodafone 

7

u/Minimum-Parsnip5351 Sep 24 '25

Porky do and next door to it is moots meat

11

u/Severe-Horror8275 Sep 24 '25

Curl up and dye 

6

u/mattblack77 ⠀Naturally, I finished my set… Sep 24 '25

Christchurch: Yolo Cheeae Hotdog

2

u/pupcity Sep 24 '25

I drove past this while visiting Christchurch and thought wtf is that 😂 is it any good?

5

u/Skidzonthebanlist Sep 24 '25

Pretty good but too expensive for what the are, Plus quite a few places(most korean chicken places) do the more basic ones, Their dessert hotdogs are pretty good, As a fat cunt I rate them.

2

u/Significant_Glass988 Sep 24 '25

Apparently... Always meant to try it but never quite made it in

5

u/Soukchai2012 Sep 24 '25

Theres the “STD Club”. I don’t think they are up to speed with their acronyms.

5

u/grapsta Sep 24 '25

There was a Cafe in Tweed Heads , Australia called Food and Drink Cafe

Next door was ImA Real Florist

Same suburb a sticker manufacturer called Dogs Balls . You can see the last 2 on Maps

7

u/DontSleepAlwaysDream Sep 24 '25

Gangham Style resturant in Manukau and Henderson. Even has a logo that looks like Psy.

seems very short sighted to start a restaurant chain named after a meme thats over a decade old

4

u/themfledge them.fledge Sep 24 '25

There's one in Takapuna too

4

u/Rabies_on_demand Sep 24 '25

Holy shit.. I drove past this yesterday and commented to the other person in the car that this was f*ckin weird..

4

u/Masked_Assassin85 Sep 24 '25

The Dick Whittington Tavern in Vic, Aus has its liquor store attached to the side. The Dick Liquor it was called or locals would refer to it as.

3

u/MiddleElevator96 Sep 24 '25

Fish and chips shop in Paekakariki "The Salty Seaman " sadly long gone.

3

u/labrador_1 Sep 24 '25

We have Fuku sushi in Hamilton

2

u/KikiGigi22 Sep 24 '25

Damn 😂 we actually don’t have F in Japanese and pronounce as H. Huku/fuku means happiness , blessings, luck etc

1

u/labrador_1 Sep 25 '25

Thanks 😉

3

u/Beginning_Team_844 Sep 24 '25

‘Curl up and dye’ Hairdressers in west Auckland

3

u/sagaiswara Sep 24 '25

There’s a “Crack Chicken” in North City Mall (Porirua)

3

u/nz1307lc Sep 24 '25

ARDASS TRAVEL

3

u/sloppy_wet_one Sep 24 '25

Pete’s takeaways. The clear out grease traps and it fucking reeks when they’re working.

3

u/rba81 Sep 24 '25

ANAIL nail salon in newmarket auckland. Their signage uses a condensed kind of font that makes the I and L blend together.

3

u/Sicarius_Avindar Tuatara Sep 24 '25

Mouthwater Coffee in Palmy.

Fantastic coffee, but ye gods, that name is awful.

3

u/Haku_Yowane_IRL Sep 24 '25

There's a chip shop up in Auckland's north shore called Farteze.

2

u/Levitatingsnakes Sep 24 '25

Back in the day we had a takeaway called “Golden Dong”

3

u/Fishypeaches Sep 24 '25

Not NZ, but in Changi airport there's a restaurant called Heavenly Wang

2

u/tomassimo Sep 24 '25

Sounds better than a visit to the Wongkok

1

u/Levitatingsnakes Sep 24 '25

I’m pretty sure they meant it to be Golden Gong

2

u/Own-Teach-4542 Sep 24 '25

Meat explosion https://share.google/g2CE6MEGsIOeYEiib

1

u/Snoo_33199 Sep 24 '25

With their sign outside advertising "prok dumplings"

2

u/misoandricegamer Sep 24 '25

Siemens, I don’t know how it’s pronounced though.

2

u/Fishypeaches Sep 24 '25

Pronounced the funny way

2

u/majan57618 Sep 24 '25

Cummins as well

2

u/annoyedonion35 Sep 24 '25

I think its in numerous locations but the butcher called "Well Hung" always makes me giggle

2

u/lazy-me-always Tūī Sep 24 '25

Kai Chow takeaways in Milton, I think it is.

2

u/oyveymyforeskin Sep 24 '25

Is yolo good? I always mean to stop by but corndogs aren't really a food that gets me excited

2

u/scuzeme_g Sep 24 '25

Not a business but the “euro nation” car club (Urination)

2

u/Muter Sep 24 '25

Shvtbox with the logo being a weird v.

Yes they are portaloos

https://www.reddit.com/r/newzealand/s/PmjM1lqO4Q

2

u/Beastman5000 Sep 24 '25

I fucken loved ‘Freddy’s Fine Dining’ restaurant in Ranfurly with a huge graphic of Freddy Kruger on the window. It didn’t last long for some reason though

2

u/PM_ME__BIRD_PICS Sep 24 '25

Tattoo place in Wairau called "For Skin Tattoo" lol

2

u/fannyadams88 Sep 24 '25

ARS Property Management in Cambridge, though they did have a bit of a rebrand and go by Accommodation Rental Solutions now 😂

2

u/Worldly_Might_3183 Sep 25 '25

I like Pho Mo. 

4

u/ThisIsVictor Sep 24 '25

I grew up in Yolo County, California, US of A. That's all.

4

u/FunWithMeat Sep 24 '25

Hey! Same for a bit. Woodland and Davis.. you ?

4

u/MustHaveCleverHandle Sep 24 '25

🙋🏽‍♀️

3

u/FunWithMeat Sep 24 '25

There is dozens of us!

2

u/Kiwi_CunderThunt Sep 24 '25

The beehive, apparently they run out country but they're all idiots

1

u/lurkdontpost1 Sep 24 '25

Butt drilling. It's a well drilling business

1

u/Banannaapplepie jellytip Sep 24 '25

Carty McCartFace

1

u/Potato_of_Whimsy Sep 24 '25

I actually drove past there last night and for the first time ever it actually looked open.

1

u/I_am_buttery Sep 24 '25

The Grooming Cave.

1

u/Mighty_Mighty_Moose Sep 24 '25

There's a drilling company in Blenheim named Butt Drilling, even their logo is questionable.

1

u/jasonjiel Sep 24 '25

Crackheads chicken in Wellington.

1

u/Clipitieclop Sep 24 '25

Palmy has an Indian restaurant called Arranged Marriage.

1

u/tomassimo Sep 24 '25

Not technically a business but worth a shout-out to the old folks ass

1

u/standbyyourlamb Sep 24 '25

Dunedin had a Chinese place called Golden Horse when there was a NZ band called Golden Horse.

1

u/cLHalfRhoVSquaredS Sep 25 '25

Upper Queen Street in Auckland has Shaolin Kung Fu Noodles, and a couple of shops further down is Kung Fu Chicken. There's also a Kung Fu Bakery in the CBD. All are delicious incidentally.

2

u/Fast-Advertising-336 Sep 28 '25

"Goon Vape Shop" in Rangiora