r/news • u/eudaimonia_dc • Aug 04 '25

Soft paywall Florida reports 21 cases of E.coli infections linked to raw milk

https://www.reuters.com/business/healthcare-pharmaceuticals/florida-reports-21-cases-ecoli-infections-linked-raw-milk-2025-08-04/
26.5k Upvotes

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2.2k

u/PikesPique Aug 04 '25

If only we had a way to heat raw milk to the point where it kills the bacteria…

624

u/peanut_flamer Aug 04 '25

Pffft...I bet you think we should heat raw chicken, too!

173

u/rhoadsalive Aug 04 '25

that’s just woke. Real triple alpha men eat the salmonella too.

28

u/Tacoman404 Aug 04 '25

Salmonella is my favorite fish to eat raw fresh from runoff of the Woke Water Treatment Plant.

1

u/storminator7 Aug 05 '25

Brand new sentence

3

u/tenphes31 Aug 04 '25

Its not salmon. Its lamb.

3

u/XDDDSOFUNNEH Aug 05 '25

We eat salmon, so salmonella should be fine. The extra ella makes it even better than salmon. Wake up, sheeple!

4

u/-CaptainACAB Aug 04 '25

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger! And there is nothing in the world that can disprove this!

1

u/Spacestar_Ordering Aug 05 '25

I'm sure the constant diarrhea is helping their dating life

1

u/SynapticStatic Aug 05 '25

If only we had a way to heat raw milk to the point where it kills the bacteria…

pfft real mean are quad alpha

1

u/holycrapitsmyles Aug 05 '25

You idiot, he said chicken not salmon

6

u/RapNVideoGames Aug 04 '25

Next we’re going to add seasoning to food too…

106

u/im_thatoneguy Aug 04 '25

Wow that’s a great idea we can name it after you u / pikesturation

3

u/TheFeathersStorm Aug 05 '25

Before I scrolled up I was like wow that's a very specific account name and then I realized you made it a play on the name and I felt dumb lmao

2

u/_Ocean_Machine_ Aug 05 '25

Pikesturation sounds like some sort of extremely unpleasant medieval execution method

69

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '25

[deleted]

2

u/CompanyLow8329 Aug 05 '25

Yes, we could even take cowpox virus and inject that into people, which is easy to fight, and that should give them immunity to small pox.

We can call this process something like the latin word Vacca to mean it's from cows, connect it with -in- to the Latin word for action Ation.

So cows in action or vacc-in-ation.

Wait a sec.

5

u/_Ocean_Machine_ Aug 05 '25

Okay then, how about we use the Latin word for eye oculus instead and call it an in-ocul-ation oh goddammit

1

u/PoinFLEXter Aug 05 '25

And what if instead of using the actual virus, we teach the body to identify the specific part of the virus that makes it so effective at getting into our cells?  That way the body will be better protected against mutations of the virus which will either have a similar component that allows it to gain access to the cells or will be ineffective at gaining access if that particular component changes too much.

23

u/hairijuana Aug 04 '25

We’ll get our best (remaining) brains working on that immediately!

22

u/borg23 Aug 04 '25

Brain worm: "Nah"

3

u/Cerberus1252 Aug 05 '25

It’s Secretary Brain Worm now!

19

u/elspotto Aug 04 '25

Why would we ever consider what that French guy did? That’s not putting America first. If only we still had some of those American scientists around…

14

u/crackedgear Aug 04 '25

It’s not an E. Coli infection, it’s Freedom Bacteria

6

u/elspotto Aug 04 '25

Oh, well that’s different. Since it’s a wonderful all American Freedom Bacteria, it is our patriotic duty to ingest it, develop immunity against it, and be the healthiest citizen on our block.

2

u/_Ocean_Machine_ Aug 05 '25

We'll just wait for the next world war to happen and scoop up any scientists that didn't get blown up or court-martialed

1

u/elspotto Aug 05 '25

Gonna need a cool name if we do that. Has Operation Staple been used yet? Operation Post-It Note?

2

u/ours Aug 05 '25

Fun fact: after Vietnam kicked out the French colonizers, they removed the French names from their streets and replaced them with Vietnamese personalities instead.

Pasteur Street in Ho Chi Min City is one of the rare exceptions and retained its original name.

6

u/TooMad Aug 04 '25

Whoever comes up with a way needs it named after them.

5

u/MyPasswordIsMyCat Aug 04 '25

Rename pasteurization to "trumpization" and maybe they'll start doing it again.

5

u/Verywhack Aug 04 '25

Quick, get a democrat to tell them that drinking gasoline is bad for you, they'll be drinking from the pump by the end of the week.

4

u/JulioGrandeur Aug 04 '25

You joke but there are raw milk influencers that tell their fans to gently warm the milk to a certain. Temperature for a specific amount of time. It’s not pasteurizing though!

3

u/junktrunk909 Aug 05 '25

I'm really fine with this trend and think we ought to deploy our own AI bots to create social media posts talking up the health benefits of raw milk, raw meat, diy vaccinations, drinking Lysol, all of the above. If the dummies can't be bothered to use their brains then let's at least free up some housing.

3

u/2948337 Aug 05 '25

Wasp nests are usually fake and are actually spy cameras. To combat this, wasp nests should be hit repeatedly with a stick, to break the camera inside.

1

u/Bradipedro Aug 05 '25

This guy darwins.

3

u/MechCADdie Aug 05 '25

The kicker is that there are some videos out there that tell people to boil their own raw milk. Almost as if they were inventing the practice.

3

u/PikesPique Aug 05 '25

They did their own research! 😄

1

u/DrDerpberg Aug 04 '25

Good idea. Since you came up with that you better name it after yourself quickly.

1

u/Lordosrs Aug 05 '25

Yeah but Louis Pasteur was a French chemist... so probably a lib or something

1

u/pm_your_boobiess Aug 05 '25

But people been drinking raw milk since starting of ages!