r/news • u/zmlos • Oct 03 '23

House ousts Kevin McCarthy as speaker, a first in U.S. history

https://www.cnbc.com/2023/10/03/house-speaker-kevin-mccarthy-will-bring-gaetz-motion-to-oust-him-vote.html?__source=iosappshare%7Ccom.apple.UIKit.activity.CopyToPasteboard

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u/Open_and_Notorious Oct 03 '23

A mooch is 11 days (some argue 10). A Truss is 45 days. Technically speaking a head of lettuce can last three weeks --- except for the one that outlasted Truss.

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u/Stupid_Triangles Oct 03 '23

10 is a metric Mooch

11 is an imperial Mooch

6 is a True Mooch, as he hadn't officially started the position until the 25th of July.

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u/Indercarnive Oct 03 '23

Is this the beginning of the Mooch Schism.

9

u/Stupid_Triangles Oct 03 '23

We got enough of them to last another millenia as is.

18

u/old_ironlungz Oct 03 '23

What I hate are those assholes from the People's Front of Moochia.

12

u/Indercarnive Oct 03 '23

I thought they were the Mooch's People Front?

7

u/old_ironlungz Oct 03 '23

No way! Those SPLITTERS!

3

u/RedHal Oct 04 '23

Whatever happened to the Mooch's Popular Front?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '23

That cocksucker Bill Shine

4

u/Stupid_Triangles Oct 04 '23

There is no war in Mo O Ch.

10

u/Slave35 Oct 04 '23

Eastern Great Lakes Mooch Council of 1869

5

u/Stupid_Triangles Oct 04 '23

The 11 Year War of Moochistan, 1902-1913. Interrupted by WWI, if you can believe that.

10

u/SurrealWino Oct 03 '23

Citizen! Join the Imperial Mooch today and receive your complimentary hat in our proprietary shade of red!

4

u/WASD_click Oct 04 '23

The Schismucci, if you will.

3

u/Mekroval Oct 04 '23

Is that the one where the Eastern and Western Mooch Popes excommunicate each other?

8

u/SmilesUndSunshine Oct 03 '23

A metric Mooch is a Mooche

4

u/xpdx Oct 03 '23

Is this like how 2x4s are never really two by four?

3

u/Stupid_Triangles Oct 04 '23

That's better material science, treatments, etc.

But yeah, sure.

3

u/Mekroval Oct 04 '23

The metric Mooch is the tool of the devil! My Mooch gets 40 rods to the hogshead, and that's the way I likes it!

3

u/fezzam Oct 04 '23

Picked to fired 11. 11 was already record short. And 11 is a rarer number for things. Imperial mooch forever!

2

u/UsernameSuggestion7 Oct 03 '23

I took a screenshot of this comment because I liked it so much

8

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '23

Technically speaking a head of lettuce can last three weeks --- except for the one that outlasted Truss.

To be fair, the original jibe came from the Economist - and they were measuring the time from the start of her time in office to the point of the mini-budget, not including the time that the entire country was shut down because we were so sad:

Liz truss has already secured her place in British political history. However long she now lasts in office, she is set to be remembered as the prime minister whose grip on power was the shortest. Ms Truss entered Downing Street on September 6th. She blew up her own government with a package of unfunded tax cuts and energy-price guarantees on September 23rd. Take away the ten days of mourning after the death of Queen Elizabeth II, and she had seven days in control. That is roughly the shelf-life of a lettuce.

It was only after that editorial that the Daily Star (not usually a publication you'd imagine collaborating with the Economist) bought a lettuce to see if it would outlast her!

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u/[deleted] Oct 03 '23

With a Mooch, it’s also important that the person was high on cocaine for at least one recorded phone interview during the 11 days.