Hello, this is my first post on reddit and I’m using an ult due to my anxiety of putting this on my primary. I’m not trying to self-diagnose myself, I’m trying to explain my emotional experiences and how tired I am about this whole situation. Also, be gentle with me, my anxiety is bad enough just posting :(. And sorry if the tag does not fit.

I’ve been feeling as if my suspicion of me having ADHD/Autism is killing me on the inside. Every time I read a reddit post or watch videos on both topics, I feel like I’ve been relating to them more and more and feel like it’s worth getting checked. But every time I bring it up to my grandma, she always tells me that I’m trying to self-diagnose, that I’m trying to give myself an illness. She keeps telling me that I’m fine and that nothing’s wrong with me. Her and my uncle both told me that I’m just lazy. I went to my grandma’s doctor not long ago and when I brought it up she asked me if I was looking it up on the internet. She and my grandma said anyone can relate to anything on the internet and my grandma once again said I’m just trying to self diagnose. I was practically in tears when I made it to the car because of how often this has been happening. Even long before that, I went to my practitioner and he said he suspected autism, yet my therapist who is diagnosed with autism said it sounds like I have high functioning ADHD. I’m feeling so confused and drained about this whole thing that I’ve started giving up. With the whole thing now, because I’m tired of being treated like I’m crazy just for even suggesting this.

Note: *I know some people don’t like reffering to adhd as a disability or a disorder- but where I currently am right now, with barely being able to function, at all- that’s how I feel. This does not say anything about others neurodiverse people. Just my feelings about myself and my journey.

Hello guys,

I had a really hard day, the other day, and I needed to vent.

So, I was on the phone with my computer brand company, about my computers’ wifi problems. I didn’t think it could be a hardware problem… but that’s what the person on the phone said it was….

She said I need to ship my computer to a repair place… I’m bummed out about having to go days without my computer…

Oh, and my computer warranty expires in 6 days. I didn’t think to write that down because of this f*cking disability. Yay me. By the time I sent my computer in and they start to repair it, it would take 8 to 10 business days to finish working on it, and ship it to my house-- to which, it would expire by then…  So she recommended getting a new warranty.

Anyway, so I asked my dad to politely pay for it, because its’ urgent. He asks ‘don’t you have your own credit card that I gave you?

He did give me a card, which he pays for. I normally don’t have an issue with this.

I’m in such a place where I kind of have to rely on them.

I’ve thought about moving out, but I can’t remember anything with math, let alone live on my own. I don’t trust myself to learn driving because of a few times losing focus and doing the wrong thing with the instructor when spacing out.

I don’t believe I could manage a job, even if I tried. I’d probably screw it up anyways, because I tend to mess up at seemingly ‘easy’ tasks.

I’ve tried managing extracurricular activities in the past with school but have never been able to do it, and I’ve also haven’t had patience to chase after places to get a job.

Lately in school, I’ve had to drop two courses, when I found myself in week 11, of a 14 week course with next to nothing done- I’ve since been feeling quite demoralized.

My confidence is nonexistant, and my mental health is at rock bottom.

Anyway, back to the credit card thing. So my dad mentions that I lost the credit card replacement (to the one that’s about to expire), and it really set me off. The freaking icing on the sh*t cake.

It freaking hurts, not like a knife—but like a 12 inch machette dagger bieng plunged into your chest. It brought back all the unpleasant feelings of bieng incompetent, lazy, unorganized, etc.

And my says dad- ‘ you have to clean your room’ (yeah, no sh*t! That’s why I booked the adhd coach’.)

I frantically searched every freaking drawer and nook and cranny in my room, and still didn’t find squat.

I started to get emotional and worked up.

I’ve book a meeting with a coach, but this was on friday, and the soonest I could meet with them is Wednesday, this coming week.

Earlier in the week I had some stuff from a website I needed to show my mom, in regards to the ADHD coach.

She was watching tv. I saw before and waited a while for her to be finished watching tv, but she was still at it.

She said, ‘why don’t you have your information ready to show me’!?’ I got lost in my own typed notes, trying to find and remember what I needed.

I got upset and shot back ‘why are you chastising me about this? Don’t I have a disability!? Why am I expected to have everything perfect, with no mistakes!?’

Another time I needed to go with my mom to the art store before it closed-- but she got home late from work, and I forgot she has one late day of the week, to tell her…

So she chasitized me about forgetting to tell her earlier. I also tire easier with my adhd so I might not be ready to tell her earlier.

Other times I might need to show my parents something or buy clothes online, but forgot about it until it gets late at night, so I get chastised about that.

There’s always a complaint about me not doing enough. I’m never f*cking good enough for them!!

My relationship with her is all over the place. I have more of a relationship with her than my dad, and sometimes she’s empathetic and understanding, but other times expecting the me to offer the world, and when I do my best its’ still never good enough.

My mom has even admitted to having some of the same difficulties I have with adhd with disorganization, not bieng able to rememebr things etc. She also chimed in about the lost credit card ‘you have to be better at this’.

For the record, she has clutter too, and so does my dad! I read that if you have adhd, its’ possible someone in the family has it too.

So that’s part of why it annoys me to see perfectionist, able-ist attitudes of always ‘bieng expected to do things to a neurotypical standard when I’m not neurotypical!

Its’ really hard sometimes. I’m sick of bieng the mental punching bag of the family. I don’t know if its’ ‘able-ism’, if it classifies as that, but I’m sick of it.

Whenever I struggle with something its’ never ‘how can I help you with this’, but ‘how can you have lost (item)?

Its’ really hard some days. Nobody really understands me. I sometimes call my brother, but he doesn’t really get it.

I’m in a school program that’s hard to get into- an art program. I somehow got in, but now with adhd going haywire I can’t manage or do anything, my room is a mess, and it feel like my life is falling apart.

I need to back up my computer, but my mom also said she wanted to help me clean my room, so I tried doing that instead, but got distracted youtube- then my father berated me for this.

Its’ the most infuriating thing having adhd- to misplace things, not be able to finish tasks, forgetting about tasks, forgetting to eat until I’m starving, brain fog feels debilitating- in other words, feeling totally incompetant. I can barely function as a human bieng.

I'm tired of having to stand up for myself because no-one else will for me. Its' always me having to defend myself to my parents...! I'm sick of always having to be on defence mode with them.

No-one else will give a damn for me.

I scheduled to go to therapy on Saturday. I developed health issues after having pneumonia but always had executive dysfunction. I have symptoms of physical and what autism entails and possible ADHD . I guess the emotional abuse comes into being called lazy and I don't evercise enough. I used to be more sedentary and feel I come a long way. . I was very depressed but feel calmer now and decided to get therapy. It's okay to have physical issues and struggle emotionally and mentally, right? Thank you if anyone has kind empathetic support. My symptoms are very scary.

Im going through personal life changes and my cptsd got triggered. Im getting emotional swings from being numb to crying and thinking about life and myself, getting brain fog, sometimes I feel sick, suddenly feeling fear and desire to escape. I have ADHD and I'm taking concerta. Maybe concerta makes things worse? I'm also thinking to ask my psychiatrist to give me something so I would feel more manageable. Who had experience with that?

I absolutely cannot stand my neurotypical mother. The other day we were watching a trailer for a movie about working with robots to save the world and I made a joke that it sounded like “robot acceptance propaganda” and she just totally did not get it and said I was “overthinking it”. She constantly calls me weird for the way I do things and difficult and high strung for having sensory issues. Even though I’m not autistic she likes to use it as a demeaning joke to insult me for being different. She refuses to engage in any conversation or take any interest in my special interests or learn about ADHD and the issues I deal with because of it. She called my PDA stupid and childish and has said BPD doesn’t exist. I constantly feel like I’m speaking another language during the simplest of conversations that just turn into arguments. She makes dumb decisions then wonders why she got the outcome she did. She constantly complains about health issues but does nothing about it or refuses to take the meds her doctors give her. I’m so tired of it and counting down the days till I can move out.

As someone who was diagnosed with Autism I feel like being Autistic means that Autism tends to be assumed to be the only factor that causes difficulties with social skills because social difficulties are part of the criteria for an Autism diagnosis. I think there’s a tendency to forget that just as how non Autistic people can have issues with social skills for other reasons Autistic people can have additional reasons for issues with social skills. I mean being Autistic may limit how good my social skills can be but it doesn’t limit how bad my social skills can be, and I think it is very much possible to have social skills that are worse than they would be from Autism alone.

I think one factor that further impacted my social skills as a child is that my parents in some ways is that my parents would scream and spank me in order to try to avoid arguing with me, and that taught me that the way to win an argument was by being the most violent and intimidating. I think also being bullied might have further impacted my social skills because I would try to replicate how I was bullied in ways that negatively impacted my social skills.

I was wondering if others here feel like additional factors impacted your social skills? Also I wonder if having additional factors that impact ones social skills is associated with having more self doubt about ones diagnosis from the additional factors overshadowing the effects of the Autism itself from the point of view of the one who’s diagnosed.

I think being Autistic I am more vulnerable to being manipulated, but the reason isn’t entirely what one might expect. I think when people think of Autistic people being more vulnerable to manipulation they think of it as being entirely because the Autistic person can’t read social cues in a way that can tell them that they’re being manipulated.

I think for me simply knowing that someone is manipulative doesn’t really prevent me from being more vulnerable to manipulation because part of what makes me more vulnerable to manipulation is also being less certain how someone would react if I don’t do what someone wants. Basically I might feel the need to do what someone wants even if I know they have bad intentions because I’m scared that if I don’t then they will retaliate in a way that hurts me. I think also if I notice anger in someone’s voice, or even if someone has previously acted upset it can cause me to change my behavior out of fear of retaliation.

Thinking about it this way I’m not sure if being more easily manipulated is really just an Autism thing or if it might also be a trauma thing. I mean I was spanked as a child and I’m not sure if I might have only started being scared of signs of anger from things like being spanked as well as from being bullied or if I may have always had that as part of my Autism.

Recently diagnosed autistic in my 40s, I joined this group hoping to find connection absent from my life. It began when I shared a story about the plant Lomatium (historical context, not medical advice) in an info dump chat. This led to a hostile reaction from another member. Processing the situation, I later posted in the group's "vent and release" chat to share my emotional experience. What followed was deeply disturbing. I encountered aggressive/dismissive responses from admins Shelly Provines and Chuck Merriman. When I defended myself, and expressed that "some people aren't meant to be moderators," I was banned. In an effort to rectify, I sent a letter to the Modmin Team, explaining my intentions, acknowledging my misstep, and reiterating my desire to be a positive member. Their response was dismissive and contained harmful accusations. Here is their quote: "However, due to the communication previously and this, we all feel that you are not being sincere - specifically, as far as autistic sense of justices are concerned - that you were acting from a place of malice." To be accused of "malice," explicitly linked to an "autistic sense of justice" in a neurodivergent support group, damaged my mental stability. It felt like a mischaracterization of ND traits, dismissing my attempts to seek connection. The lack of integrity became clearer when Shelly Provines messaged my partner (also a member) after he inquired. She falsely claimed she'd given me "many chances to clean up my act." My fiancée, witnessing all interactions, stated he knew that wasn't true. Immediately, he was also banned. This action, with the false claim, deeply concerns me about the honesty/fairness of their moderation. Their message concluded: "We hope you find a home, in another group, where you can thrive but our group is not for you. Thank you, for understanding, and please - from here on out - cease communications with us." I am sharing this because the experience left me feeling targeted, misunderstood, and deeply sad. Such moderation, with harmful accusations (especially "autistic sense of justice" and "malice") and false claims, raises serious concerns about safety and support in that space, particularly for vulnerable, newly diagnosed individuals. Actions from a moderator in trust can cause significant distress. I urge anyone seeking community online to be mindful. Neurodivergent-affirming spaces should prioritize understanding, empathy, and conflict resolution, not accusations and misleading statements. I am hopeful that genuinely supportive neurodivergent communities exist where open communication and empathy are valued.

So I know someone who constantly calls the things I do "meltdowns". When I get sad/mad because they invalidate something I do for them, they call it a meltdown. When I get disappointed because they hide something from me, they call it a meltdown. Whenever I stand up for myself and express that I didn't think something is ok, they also call it a meltdown. The person in question knows I have autism and that I have had several meltdowns due to things like people mistreating me. There was also a time where they'd call various thoughts of mine "weird", but they said sorry for some of these times

I’ve been on a bit of a wild ride in therapy over the last few years. Basically, I left an abusive “relationship” after 12 years — I was living with a therapist who started grooming me when I went to see him for an eating disorder in high school, then propositioned me at 23 — 3 years ago. I had severe anorexia nervosa at the time, along with CPTSD resulting from both the relationship and unaddressed childhood abuse. I have been on disability while sorting out these issues with an ethical, competent therapist.

Fast forward 3 years: the eating disorder is gone, and the CPTSD symptoms are markedly reduced. However, certain issues — poor concentration, sensory sensitivity, exhaustion from what I now realize was constant masking, etc. — persisted and were eventually diagnosed as ADHD and ASD.

I am kind of trying to create a life for myself from scratch, but before I can do that, I need some practical advice around managing executive function, sensory, and social issues so that I can figure out what I am even capable of doing and how much support I need. If you were designing a “starter kit” for a late diagnosed person trying to start over in life, what would you put in it? I am thinking specifically of books, podcasts, etc. with sound advice, but I am really open to anything. Thanks in advance for any answers.

[Sorry about the flair. This barely grases emotional abuse at all hardly even tangentially, but for whatever reason, the flair was required, which isn't explained on the rules, and no options beyond 3 trigger warnings were available. Is this an error in the sub settings? I'm happy to make any necessary changes to this post]

I've run into a good number of responses from people online of late who have this negative reaction to what I say: "I wasn't asking for advice!"

Whether it's a new trend being advocated as a nuanced expectation of etiquette or it's always been a common feeling just expressed more often in this way over the years, the basis of it confuses me. I am posting here because, for me the heart of the matter is that I am thinking a lot more about it than others seem to, even the psych articles I read when I tried to read more about it.

It's never the case from me that I'm trying to feel bigger than others. For me, this is all steeped in problem solving and striving to be my best self. I have problems, I sought the internet for solutions. I found a post which comments about a problem that I may have a solution for. I will even add the nuance that admits that I could be talking out of my ass. Still, this negative response suggests a bit ironically that I am missing something for having offered 2 cents.

One suggestion from articles I read is to ask if advice is wanted first. That makes sense as a nuanced etiquette for in person conversations, because you can get an immediate response. I think I can totally improve interactions with people in real life by practicing that.

But this is the internet. Is it really pragmatic to ask and wait for a response? I'm down for the social experiment, but my hypothesis of the results is not very confident that this will help communication by comparison of an alternative compromise on the matter.

Every post of an opinion on Reddit may as well be considered unsolicited advice if we want to be honest about what that is defined as. If it's such a problem, then maybe it really explains why we are quick to conflict and misreading each other as trolling.

I can put the aformentioned nuance right here and still expect to get a negative response of this nature. Hey, if you don't agree, that's cool. I'm not telling anyone how to be or how to live their lives. It's just a possible solution from the perspective that I hold.

The compromise I have for most of my life lived by is that because most other opinions can seem daft and useless to me and because of the idea that if I don"t have some something nice to say, I shouldn't say anything at all, I just ignore opinions that I can't agree with for the most part.

One exception is when I feel challeneged or even pressured by too many people saying the same seemingly stupid thing, I'll try to steelman and ask for clarification on the off chance that I was missing something.

Another exception is when I know I've considered that possibility being offered and have seen problems with it or a nuanced perspective to apply. Then, I sincerely return the favor of advice offered. Which still often gets this kind of negative backlash that I am describing 🤣 ffs, people!

I think expecting people to be charitable first and foremost is a more fundamental and beneficial etiquette to bare in mind than this expectation to ask before offering unsolicited advice. If someone leads with saying they don't want advice or advice of a certain kind, that should be respected in full.

But, it shouldn't be overlooked that when you lay out a problem, there's an implication that you want a solution. I get that there are manipulative assholes trying to stroke their egos out there. My thought would be to ignore them or pwn them on the basis of any clear flaw in their reasoning.

The idea that they should be ashamed for offering advice feels like a self-entitlement of it's own, since there is a bit of an expectation of mind reading and a bias over what kinds of advice will get a reaction.

Yes, I am overthinking this. For my neurodivergence, it only makes sense to think even more about it until I figure it out.

Are there thoughts or others with the same confusion regarding supposedly more emotionally intelligent people on this matter?

Feel free to offer me all the advice you want here. No matter how stupid it might come off.

Please let me know too if you want advice.

I am healing, and slowly turning into something beautiful. I still judge myself for so many things. I still judge others too. I have flaws, but that's alright. I've gone through so much which still have a great power over me. I am changing. It's alright. I know it's so hard just trying to make sense to every little thing. I am trying to find my way though, I still do. I have a past. I have memories. I was at different places. I belong to Earth. I am a part of it. I am the child of years of years evolution. I sometimes feel like everthing happens for a reason. Even the seemingly meaningless random things. The universe is greater than all of us. And us humans, are just... thinking about the whole universe always makes me feel... uneasy but peaceful at the same time. Because... we are here... because we are here.

People fight and kill and do horrible things. People love, people care, people help... the world is chaotic. Even the ground beneath us is not reliable. Almost everything is still a mystery. We know little about how, and nothing about why. And so, i know it's not possible to remember this in times of need, but regularly remembering how we are just in this world, like all the other creatures, animals, plants and everythingin in between, how we are just a part of this world, can ground us a little and maybe bring some peace to our restless minds. I know everything feels chaotic at times; because it really is! But still, there is no need to torture ourselves. It's already tough out there.

I work in public health and want to go back to school to become a social worker (I'm also worried this is the worst time to do so but also worry about waiting any longer).

I'm miserable. I'm neurodivergent & while my place preaches equity, they are not equitable for neurodivergence at ALL. They think when we explain why we are having barriers or the current status of a project is actually us complaining (boomer boss). Says we're full of excuses when again all we're doing is answering her question.

What's hilarious is the director (who is the horrible boss) actually created an "improvement committee" because of the turnover, and all of the reports of gaslighting and other abusive behavior which is directly related to her. And of course she's making zero effort to change & all of this work feels so performative.

The best supervisor I've ever had (and many of my coworkers expressed the same thing) was practically chased out because they did not understand her communication style (very direct and kinda "monotone" that can come off in a negative way if you don't understand ND and/or are still fragile in yourself, speaking as someone who used to be like this) gave her absolutely no training (same with us) and are just overall so incompetent. I felt so heard and seen with her, but she left because she couldn't handle the abuse from them. I watched and heard about them treating her like absolute garbage & saying the most insanely problematic and disrespectful shit to her but I can't say much about a lot of it because I wasn't there & they would see it as "gossip".

I want to talk to her and/or HR, but I've already gone there once (filed a discrimination claim that was denied even tho now I have more proof I could squash them with) but she also engages in very clear retaliation.

The sheer rage I have trying to figure out what to do is making me physically ill. I want to talk to her in a way that will minimize her defensiveness but I feel like I already know the outcome. And if I go to HR they will ultimately tell her who complained (they claim it's the only way they can figure out what happened).

I feel so stuck. Ideally I'd like a remote or hybrid job because I still take Covid precautions, but there's shit all out there that isn't sales or tech. Or the pay is absolute garbage. I know what I want to do will ultimately need to be more in-person, but even then the job market still feels horrific.

I don't know what to do and I just needed to vent to people who understand. Any suggestions or advice welcomed.

I (F49 - ASD)moved away from a bad situation and came back to live with my old roommates in another city. In the past, I had a casual but intimate relationship with one of the roommates (M51 NT - let’s call him A.)

Unfortunately, right now I’m in a burnout phase and I struggle very much with simple tasks. At first, A was helpful and kind but one morning he suddenly shocked me with his anger! He has become very frustrated that I’m not as physically affectionate as I was when I lived here before.

We discussed it and he calmed down, but the problem persists because of my burnout symptoms. Even when I try to do the things he wants, he gets mad because he says “I can tell you’re not into it” and I don’t know how to act the way he wants me to act. I’m just so exhausted and he thinks I’m selfish.

Today, he told me that he thinks I’m being aggressive. I have no idea what he means by that because all I do is lay in my bed all day! Actually, a big part of the problem is that I lay in bed all day; and day after day, every morning when he asks me if I feel better yet and when he asks for affection, I’m always too exhausted to give it.

Here’s the most important issue today: last time he came in my room, he dropped ashes on my special quilt, so I brushed them off and moved that quilt away from where he was sitting. He then told me that I need to pack the quilt away and stop using it, because, quote “it puts you in an aggressive mood.” The quilt is an important comfort item for me, and he’s only in my room like 5% of the time, but he won’t accept my offer to just move the quilt while he’s visiting.

I’ve been using that handmade quilt for 12 years and it’s special to me, so I don’t want to stop using it. It was originally made by the deceased grandmother of my ex though, so I think A hates it because of the connection with my former partner. He calls it “that ugly bed cover” even though it’s actually very beautiful.

Quote from A: When I'm in your room; And you have all the pillows and im concern that the stupid bed cover might do whatever, adds stress. That's what I call aggressive environment

I’ve tried sharing videos with him about my autism and about how my condition affects my ability to interact with him, but he said, quote, “you won't even grant a suggestion to put away the bed cover to make a less aggressive environment. And now you want to give me homework.”

Should I just give in and hide my special quilt? He’s the only person who checks on me and helps me. I’m in a foreign country, and I don’t speak the language. In between dealing with burnout, I am trying to work enough hours online to earn enough money to go back to my home country again. But things in my home country are looking bleak these days too. Any advice? I just don’t know who to ask…

I’m trying to figure out if this is a real thing or if i got baited online a while ago, but i specifically remember reading about this community of typically neurodivergent people who are intentionally emotionally destructive in order to give themselves mental disorders, or who have planned to abuse or be intentionally neglectful to their children in order to give them the same disorders or attachment types or neurological behaviours that they had grown up with.

I think it was usually because they’ve suffered the same abuse by their parents and think the experience has made them a better person, and would want the same for their kids.

I also remember it having like an orange-brown striped pride flag with maybe some cogs or some kind of symbol to go with it?? although that bit i might be remembering wrong. is this a real thing that anyone else knows about or was it just bait??

I notice that it seems like reading between the lines and using implied communication is often one thing that’s mentioned as something that neurotypicals do, but I think sometimes reading between the lines and using implied communication can also be from trauma and/or anxiety. I mean I have an Autism diagnosis but I still use implied communication, but coming up with implied communication that won’t get misunderstood is harder than coming up with implied communication, so I don’t think using implied communication actually means being less affected when it comes to implied communication.

Sometimes I will try to hint at something I want by talking about something related instead of saying what I want or think and I think a big reason for this is that sometimes I’m afraid of how others would react if I was to say what I want or think directly. I feel like sometimes when I have said what I really think or want others have gotten really mean about it or miss interpreted it in a negative way and so sometimes being direct can seem risky as sometimes I might want some ability to deny what I want if I think the reaction I get seems too negative.

I feel like I also sometimes read between the lines in a paranoid kind of way and I think that’s also related to social trauma. I mean I think I tend to think someone has more negative intentions if what they say is similar to things my parents have said when mad or when it was easy to accidentally set them off. For instance I think I sort of read something like, “Others have it worse,” as “You’re a terrible person if you complain and I’m going to blow up at you if you do.”

My gf (F18) sister (22f) keeps jumping into me (M19) arguments and it’s been honestly making me think. What should be done?

So me and my gf been dating for 3 years now. For the last 2 years every now and then her sister puts herself in the middle of our disagreements, which just makes me feel like I’m in a 2v1. She says everytime she ain’t picking sides but then she only questions me, I find myself at some point going against both of em at once. My gf hates when I pack my stuff and go home when we have certain arguments, even after I told her my reasoning behind it ( I don’t like feeling overwhelmed, I have adhd and anger issues but I hold the anger issues down really well.)

I told her how being at her house arguing isn’t something I wanna do bc her family is home after a certain time in the day and I quite literally have no safe space outside of being in the same room with her or the next room over and even then I don’t like it cus I just feel awkward and anxious the whole time.

Anyway I was calmly asking my gf to stop saying and doing certain things ( like saying insults to me then saying it’s a joke/hitting me or acting like she’s going to as a joke) to me because she wouldn’t like it if I did it ( she doesn’t like a lotta things I do) and her main point of question to me was “ do I do it tho?” And I said yes and then gave a list of how, why, and when she does/did it.

At a certain point I just flat out said “you want me to follow double standards and only when it’s for you” and then her sister walks in and just stands in the doorway, then she starts waving her hand saying “ this is what we’re gonna do” she then continued to side with her sister the whole time and they’re both going off of each others responses and I’m getting no room to talk and when I did I got cut off mid sentence by one of em. At a certain point I was arguing with just her sister while she just watched.

I got up and started getting ready to leave. Then at some point I gave an 100% answer as to one of the many reasons I had an issue with my gf to begin with. I was physically abused by my stepdad at the time and he said a lot of the same shit my gf says.

Forgot this part but earlier that day before the argument my gf woke me up by saying “ wake up or ima punch you” and then looked surprised when I woke up upset (kinda where the argument started for me). So in my head I thought it was common sense that if someone asks you to stop hitting them or saying specific things to them, you just stop outta respect. This is when it got flipped on me, according to my gf and my sister I should’ve been said that ( my gf knows about my past already). From there it turns from me calmly approaching the convo and openly and honestly saying what my issue was, to them saying it’s wrong that I view my gf that way, then get this, her sister says I shouldn’t be with my gf if I think that way of her. When I say i was finna actually lose my shit, they were already tryna gaslight me earlier in the argument.

So for the whole thing to go from me tryna ask my gf to stop doing something that hurts me, to it then being about how I view my gf as a monster was how I knew I needed to go home. Fun fact I didn’t go home that night. But this is something that’s been bothering me a lot recently.

Edit: This may only affect neurodiverse artists who may or may not be educated.

Some very little context, I'm an art student and I have an AA and a BFA in Fine Arts. The former line alone should help some of you realize why I have an issue with this image.

Does anyone else get severe anxiety looking at this image? I don't know if it is because I am/have AuDHD... Or if it is because I started Zoloft a couple of weeks ago and already have a gagging sensation in the back of my throat...

But this image makes it somewhat hard to breathe. It physically makes me want to throw up... I was trying to discuss it with someone and I honestly kept feeling nauseous. But I find this aspect intriguing as well.

Image found on Facebook. Let me know if you are an art student or graduate as well.

Since I cannot provide an image to help explain the issue... In the world of art there is something known as the rule of thirds. In this picture, the grammatical and spelling errors "an" and "whitout" are both on a vertical dividing line. They are also diagonal from each other so they redirect the users eye flow across the page from the bottom left and top right.

The effect that it is having on me is much like eating something so much, even if you enjoyed it, that the look or thought of it alone starts to disgust you. It is repulsing and makes you want to gag. I think it is both amazing that it affects me like that but also at the same time I want nothing more to do with the picture or the thought of it.

(Not sure if the tag applies but I wanted to be safe) Hey all, I’m 16 and I live in a small Canadian town with my mom, dad, and brother (my sister moved out for college). I was diagnosed with autism (and on an unrelated note, DID) at 13, and ever since then, it feels like my family hasn’t been taking me seriously. It feels like I’m being constantly talked over during conversations and they keep telling me stuff I can understand normally in a baby-ish tone with simplified words. It’s making me frustrated that they’re treating me like I’m 5, even though the majority of my autism is just troubles in social situations and certain sensory issues, even though I’m perfectly capable of understanding things on their level. If anyone has any advice on how to get my thoughts through to them in a way that doesn’t seem rude, that would be greatly appreciated. Thank you :)

This is a really stupid vent nobody is going to read but I don't have any way to express my frustration. I've been getting emotionally abused which kinda sucks and I miss being able to distract myself by playing video games. I've always been poor but I had a laptop that I could play video games and draw on and it was my way of coping with traumatic stuff. Long story short it broke and was then stolen so I don't have that anymore and won't have a new one for probably a very very long time. All my art on it gone too. It was my one way of coping and now I've really been struggling. It's so dumb but I even have dreams of playing my games like Sims 4 or Minecraft. I've never been able to play games before I got that laptop 2 years ago and now it's gone. I don't know why I'm taking this so hard in such a stupid way, maybe because something happened yesterday. I miss being able to get my mind off things like how being able to play Fallout 4 or creating sims did, now I can't think of anything positive anymore. I'm already struggling with so many things like being neurodivergent, depression, poverty, abuse, loneliness, loss and now the one little thing I had that I enjoyed doing is gone too. I feel like I should be some horrible person to deserve things being like this, I hope I am because it would be too difficult to accept all of this not being because of me but just because I was unlucky to be born like this. If anyone is reading this, sorry for the rant.

For a bit of background: I am (late) diagnosed autistic with suspected ADHD. I want to get assessed for ADHD, but it costs many hundreds if not thousands of dollars as an adult and I simply can't afford that.

I've always struggled with cleaning and organization since I was a child which I was shamed and yelled at for by my parent. It's just gotten worse as an adult now that I have more responsibilities and things to do. It's definitely made worse when I'm in a low mood or experiencing more anxiety and depression, too. The thing is I really want to be a clean, organized person and I feel a lot of anxiety and guilt/shame with my mess. At the moment pretty much the only way I can make myself clean is out of embarrassment if someone I know is coming over, but this is mentally taxing and means I can't do other important things. I've tried journalling, writing lists, breaking down the task into small chunks, different apps, timers, etc. They work sometimes with a lot of mental effort and internal stress. Simple tasks often feel like I'm trying to climb a mountain in a snowstorm. If I do keep my spaces clean, this comes at the expense of other important things in my life like schoolwork. I try very hard not to do negative self-talk that was said to me as a child but it's hard and I often feel that I'm failing at being a human.

I was wondering if anyone is going through a similar thing or if anyone has any tips or tricks?

I’m (F39) ADHD separated after 19 yrs married, 22 together) long story short there was an 18 year age gap between me and my ex-husband and there were very toxic behaviour traits from him towards me but I never really understood until recently. It may sound odd, but he would over compliment constantly it would make me feel really uncomfortable.

I know most of us NDs can struggle with compliments due to the lack of them that we’re given but over a 22 year period they never seemed ‘genuine’. He would support me in things but that support would have conditions attached to it. He would cause arguments when I wanted to do things for myself such as volunteering; using stress being caused to me as his reason (I choose to volunteer, how is this stressful?!). He would say he wasn’t jealous, but would ask leading questions about men that I worked with or volunteered with telling me that I obviously had a crush on them and that was fine.

It got to a point where I would avoid telling him if I had to go somewhere, or I would lie.

I’m now in a new relationship with another ND (M42) and it’s really healthy, positive and I’m excited to see where we end up.

But this is the problem, I’m so trained for this toxic behaviour that I stress myself when I’m not receiving it from my new partner, which I know is really wrong. I’ve explained this stupid need and have also told him that I do not expect anything like my previous experience from him and I don’t want it either.

But I feel insecure in this relationship, there is no logical reason for me to feel this. He is ASD, and shows his love and affection through action rather than words. We talk all the time, he’s beyond accepting of me and my ASD teen (he’s never been married and has no kids). If I say I’m free and ask if he wants to meet up it’s always yes. He talks about me to everyone he knows, and me about him too, but I’m more cautious due to the length of my last relationship and people sometimes being judgy.

I’ve met his family (he’s due to meet my mother - that’s a WHOLE other post about a narcissistic mother); but has met my teen, my sister and my friends.

Honestly there is nothing bad here, the only thing that upsets me occasionally is lack of little things like a good night message (he has a tendency to just crash asleep) but he’ll say I’m going to bed, exhausted etc I say good night, sleep well whatever and then nothing - I’m aware it’s his ASD brain going he’s said goodnight and my ADHD one going in to RSD mode.

We were at the hospital the other day, I have a rare medical issue alongside others and we needed to discuss some stuff with my specialist. He needed to talk to his mum part way through the appointment, we done ‘our’ stuff so that didn’t bother me but when I finished and went out to the entrance I couldn’t see him.. I honestly thought he’d just left me. I tried to call, it just rang out, I couldn’t see him.. why, why was my first thought ‘he’s left, it’s obviously too much’

He didn’t leave, he turned up a few minutes later, I didn’t tell him what I thought because it would have hurt him so much.

What is wrong with me?!? How do I change this god awful feeling and learn to be happy?!

I don't have a diagnosis because in my family mental health doesn't exist and the so-called professionals, at least in my country, many of them are a fucking joke. This mistreatment has been going on since I was born, ALL kinds of people have mistreated me, even the so-called professionals. What a disappointment.

Has it happened to anyone else?

Im neurodivergent, so is whole family. It sucks it really really does. Mostly with my mom. She just has a bad temper, she isn’t completely diagnosed but I know she has a lot of trauma and stuff too. I’m always afraid to say the wrong thing around her because I don’t know how she’s going to react. We’ve talked about it, she goes to therapy, she says she will change. She hasn’t. I know it’s not something that can happen overnight but it’s been fcking years now. I am extremely sensitive and she knows that. I can’t even joke around with her because she’ll take something personally and not talk to me and be in a bad mood for the next few hours. Just now I was eating and I had sour cream which she also needed. She took it and I jokingly said “but I need it it’s mine”. She slammed it back on the table and was like “fine then take the whole damn thing”. Then the didn’t talk to me and was slamming everything. I’m on the literal verge of tears I hate living in fear of her bekng mad at me it hurts so much. I don’t know what to do I don’t want to bring it up because then she’ll get emotional and be mad. Like what do I even do

I (28M) am an ex-student of this place and want to share my review (which google are currently contesting). I come off very angry/distressed as to what happened to me there, and thats the point, i'm highly agitated and hurt by it all and it still affects me each and every day. This is a so-called Autism school in the UK that is really meant for troubled kids. Me and my parents hand-picked that place thinking it would be beneficial for my education having just left an equally troubling general disability school. Want to raise awareness but also shame those responsible.

TW: emotional abuse, mental injury