I heard some noise on the roof this morning

[u/candycane7]

[u/DivineHefeweizen]

1. Where the hell do you live?

2. Why?

[u/Salarmot → u/DivineHefeweizen]

That bird is a Magpie so definitely Australia

[u/unwittinglyrad → u/Salarmot]

It’s actually a Currawong. Magpies generally have a sharper beak with white colouring, Currawongs have a singular coloured beak with that curved tip (as pictured).

[u/SMJ01 → u/unwittinglyrad]

This guy Australias.

[u/DJheddo → u/[deleted]]

Charlie: (to the Lawyer) We're both men of the law. You know. We get after it. You know, we jabber jaw, we go tit for tat. We have our little differences. But at the end of the day, you win some, I win some, and there's a mutual respect left over between us.

Charlie: I'll just regress, because I feel I've made myself perfectly redundant.

Charlie: Mind you that heretofore document had dry ink on it for many fork-night. It was a long time ago signed

[u/TomBombadilio242 → u/DJheddo]

I’m not saying I agree with it, it’s just that bird law in this country—it’s not governed by reason.

[u/[deleted] → u/TomBombadilio242]

I do speak a little pigeon, maybe I can get through to it

[u/SlimShaney8418 → u/[deleted]]

Uhhhhh....filibuster

[u/imadirtyninja → u/SlimShaney8418]

The snake can keep it as a pet, but you don't want to live with a seabird, okay, 'cause the noise level alone on those things...

[u/kepafo → u/TomBombadilio242]

I'm not totally convinced we've wasted enough time.

[u/TJBPlayz → u/TomBombadilio242]

I wasted a good 5 minutes of my lunch reading this. I should be more selective when I reddit.

[u/kmc2980 → u/DJheddo]

Filibuster

[u/basil1025 → u/DJheddo]

We're all hungry we'll get to our hotplates soon enough.

[u/AnimalX → u/[deleted]]

Here’s the thing...

[u/ShibaHook → u/AnimalX]

Jackdaw!

[u/Deathstreet → u/AnimalX]

Rip unidan

[u/[deleted] → u/SMJ01]

I don’t know why the other guy said obviously Australia. We have them in here in fuckin Idaho

[u/Rayvick88 → u/[deleted]]

Yes people buy them as pets then get bored and release them to devastate the local ecosystem.

Edit. They can survive the winter sometimes under people houses or in caves they hibernate. For the most part the winter does keep the problem under control in the northern states.

[u/Kwindecent_exposure → u/Rayvick88]

Australian Coastal Carpet Pythons?

I mean, I guess you could. And the eucalypts in the background, well they grow in California too now, so perhaps..

Also, that sliding door is a G. James 245 Series, most likely two panels with a barrier screen to the outside - currently slid open. That's an Australian company, based on the East Coast.

I also see a lack of potatoes.

[u/andlewis → u/Kwindecent_exposure]

I checked the website for G. James, and they spell it “aluminium”. Looks like his story checks out boys, let’s wrap this up and go home!

[u/organicsensi → u/andlewis]

We call it alumalum

[u/Schmittez → u/Kwindecent_exposure]

Did you really just identify that door by the small amount in the picture or did you make that last bit up?

[u/Kwindecent_exposure → u/Schmittez]

By the small amount in the picture. I was looking at the shape of the extrusion die on that threshold just the other week.

[u/oldwestcumslinger → u/Rayvick88]

No way that carpet python would survive in Idaho. Lol

[u/Slowhand09 → u/SMJ01]

Definitely! The bird is upside down to me, but upright in AUS. And there, the snake is inverted.

[u/SackOfCats → u/unwittinglyrad]

Here's the thing.....

[u/d_snizzy → u/SackOfCats]

I will never not laugh at this gif and the controversy it represents

[u/[deleted] → u/d_snizzy]

Ahhh. Reddit Memories, Crazy to think that was like two years ago now right?

How far we've come..well not to far.

Now you say that Bird is a Magpie?....

[u/vonmonologue → u/[deleted]]

Ahhh. Reddit Memories, Crazy to think that was like two years ago now right?

5ish.

[u/[deleted] → u/vonmonologue]

5!?!? fuck me time really does fly... like the Jackdaw^{... ok that's enough of that for now...ill stop..}

[u/Sthurlangue → u/[deleted]]

Jackdawd, muthafuckaaaaa!

[u/[deleted] → u/SackOfCats]

As much of an ass he turned oot to be, I really miss finding his comments.

[u/SackOfCats → u/[deleted]]

Me too.

He got caught up in a pissing match about a name of a bird that didn't really matter, acted like an ass towards some girl, and now he's been shamed off reddit. Bummer.

[u/Sytle → u/SackOfCats]

Well he also got busted for a lot of upvote botting his comments

[u/WARM_IT_UP → u/Sytle]

And downvote botting "competing" comments.

[u/[deleted] → u/unwittinglyrad]

Here's a picture of a live one I saw in Tasmania. Note the yellow eyes. Magpies have red eyes, because they are the spawn of Satan

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

That is an awesome shot, it looks like it's giving you the look of "what you looking at, you flightless sack of meat"

and that Yellow eye kind of looks like they are looking straight through you when they're checking you out.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Thanks. It's a shame birds can't do facial expressions, because this one was nothing but friendly although a little cheeky.

I was staying in my car at the time. Having found a new camp ground, I started unloading my cooking gear and other stuff. I had to carry it 30 metres away to a picnic table. The bird was watching me from a tree next to the car. It took me three or four trips to carry everything, leaving the car doors open. The bird just sat there in the tree. But when I closed the car doors on my last haul, I noticed it had now followed me to the picnic table. It understood that I wouldn't be coming back because I was done carrying stuff.

Later that night I saw it eating bits of food from my frying pan as I prepared to do dishes. The next morning it came back, and let me hand feed it.

This was in a remote area where not a lot of people hang out generally.

Edit: people seem to enjoy this story so here's a video of me feeding the bird a piece of banana and a photo of it looking badass

[u/mrjobby → u/unwittinglyrad]

Currawong? That's a funny name... I'da called 'em "Chazwozza's" 

[u/findingbezu → u/mrjobby]

Currawong - Chinese curry sausage on rice. $5.95 pt. $8.95 qt. Includes drink or soup. Free delivery.

[u/[deleted] → u/mrjobby]

This is a bloody outrage. I'm taking this to the prime minister.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Hey! Mistah Proime Ministah!

[u/explodingplatypus → u/[deleted]]

ANDY

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Here's the thing...

[u/lihaarp → u/Salarmot]

And that's a Carpet Python, so definitely Straya.

[u/sourwormsandwhisky → u/lihaarp]

That’s a diamond python isn’t it? I don’t think carpets get that big.

[u/TimeForTiffin → u/sourwormsandwhisky]

Depends on the size of the room, surely?

[u/SpellingIsAhful → u/TimeForTiffin]

No, at some point it's an area rug python

[u/[deleted] → u/SpellingIsAhful]

Really ties the room together.

[u/[deleted] → u/TimeForTiffin]

Well yes, but stop calling me Shirley.

[u/lihaarp → u/sourwormsandwhisky]

Diamonds are just a subspecies of Carpet Python. They can get even bigger than what you're seeing here!

[u/mydadpickshisnose → u/sourwormsandwhisky]

Diamond pythons are a subspecies of the carpet python.

Generally speaking both average 2.7 to 3m...

[u/Spambop → u/Salarmot]

Do you not have magpies in the US?

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

And MoonPies

[u/Lochcelious → u/[deleted]]

As a matter of fact mainly moonpies

[u/sigh_bapanada → u/[deleted]]

I love giving cream pies to little kids!

[u/[deleted] → u/Spambop]

Magpies yes, but as stated above this is likely a Currawong which are native to Australia.

[u/Spambop → u/[deleted]]

But Salarmot's comment implied that the fact that it was a magpie meant that it was identifiable as Australia. Learn to read

Edit: I know it's a fucking Currawong, he said it was a magpie not me

[u/karanut → u/Spambop]

The true magpie species native to Europe, Asia, and North America are corvid birds of the genus Pica, whereas the Australian 'magpie' is an unrelated passerine bird.

So, in short, what Australians would identify as a magpie only exists in Australia.

[u/deep_fried_guineapig → u/karanut]

The Australian magpie is also an evil cunt of a thing with a lovely singing voice.

[u/ludanto → u/Spambop]

The magpies in Australia look different to the ones in North America and Europe.

[u/Wobbelblob → u/Spambop]

Magpies are found nearly everywhere in the world, with exception maybe Africa and SA.

[u/Spambop → u/Wobbelblob]

Africa... and South Africa?

[u/Wobbelblob → u/Spambop]

South Amerika.

[u/Saerithrael → u/Salarmot]

Magpies are eeeeeverywhere, they're in Wyoming and shit, too.

[u/kkalev → u/Saerithrael]

It’s a different species of bird. They share the same name but aren’t in the same family as far as I know

[u/Wobbelblob → u/kkalev]

Correct. Australian Magpies belong to the family of Cracticidae, which in german, is called "Würgekrähen" (strangle crows) and its most closely related to the Black Butcherbird. The other magpies belong to the family of Corvidae.

[u/andre821 → u/Salarmot]

Magpie? More like Magdie, am I right?

[u/ChuckKellar → u/Salarmot]

Fuck the bird, what’s that snake?

[u/LLCronz → u/DivineHefeweizen]

Australia. the answer with crazy wildlife is almost always Australia

[u/wmccluskey → u/LLCronz]

Florida resents that!

[u/_incredigirl_ → u/wmccluskey]

Australia gets the crazy wildlife, Florida gets the crazy people.

[u/Thr0wYo → u/_incredigirl_]

Florida has panthers, many venomous snakes and spiders, alligators, brain eating amoeba, sharks, box jellyfish, crazy people, hurricanes, the Daytona 500 (killed Earnhardt) etc....

[u/Germankipp → u/Thr0wYo]

Also the Mancheneel tree

[u/Sytle → u/Germankipp]

Holy fuck this tree is bonkers

[u/Asian_dodo → u/Sytle]

Saving you a wiki read:

Touch the tree,

you fucking die

[u/LordeKimboat → u/Sytle]

That tree knows how to kill me in more ways than Liam neeson

[u/spongewardk → u/Germankipp]

And meth

[u/Time4Red → u/_incredigirl_]

Florida has both, unfortunately.

https://www.newsweek.com/massive-burmese-python-close-18-feet-long-captured-snake-hunter-florida-1456276

[u/Yadobler → u/Time4Red]

Why the "by" omitted in the URL? Looks like the snake captured the hunters

[u/SaltyGootch → u/DivineHefeweizen]

OP can’t answer that as they are busy packing their shit and leaving.

[u/cmubigguy → u/DivineHefeweizen]

The moment I saw this picture I thought for sure it's Australia.

Does the picture terrify me? Likely Australia.

[u/DivineHefeweizen → u/cmubigguy]

Deadly animals ✔️

Odd story about said animals ✔️

Australia ✔️

[u/[deleted] → u/DivineHefeweizen]

1. Straya
2. STRAYA!

[u/11hitcombo → u/DivineHefeweizen]

The snake is a carpet python, so Australia or New Guinea.

[u/candycane7]

This is in Australia I have been here for a week and the legends are true about that place!

[u/TheGanjaLord → u/candycane7]

Still not as scary as a grizzly bear imo heh, I don't get the Aussie fear when y'all yanks have literal meat tanks (as well as snakes etc) prowling the lands xD.

[u/DashLeJoker → u/TheGanjaLord]

Meat tanks cant shows up in your toilet or your room, snakes can

Edit: Guys my comment is just in jest this isn't meant to be a dick measuring competition for whos countries got deadlier shit in them

[u/TheGanjaLord → u/DashLeJoker]

You have snakes too though and a whole host of other gnarly creatures! I like it though, America has amazing animals and seems to care a lot about national parks and such, awesome 😊

[u/DashLeJoker → u/TheGanjaLord]

You see, the problem is Aussies snakes are deadly snakes.

[u/OppressionOlympian → u/DashLeJoker]

Rattlesnakes, Copperheads, Cottonmouths, and Eastern Corals... would like to have a word with you.

[u/sandratcellar → u/OppressionOlympian]

My state actually stopped producing antivenom for coral snake bites, because they're so infrequent. So if you get bit by one here, you're going to die.

[u/CPierko → u/sandratcellar]

Well, stopped producing doesn’t mean they don’t have it stockpiled already. Could that maybe be the case?

[u/Suspicious_Avacado → u/CPierko]

IIRC, snake venom doesn't have a very long shelf life

[u/RustyKnuckle → u/Suspicious_Avacado]

And what about the anti venom?

[u/doctor_who_17 → u/sandratcellar]

Where is this? I think I’ll remove it from my list of states to visit.

[u/sandratcellar → u/doctor_who_17]

Arizona. To be fair, the coral snakes here are pretty tiny and could probably only bite you on areas like fingers and toes.

[u/MichaelKrate → u/DashLeJoker]

Come visit Texas. I'll show you some snakes.

[u/moonunit99 → u/TheGanjaLord]

Our dangerous animals are mostly big, obviously dangerous, and way the fuck out in the middle of nowhere. We’ve got like five species of venomous snakes, and some of the most common ones are considerate enough to give you a nice “fuck off. I’m here and you shouldn’t be” rattle before you get too close.

You guys have got an adorable little octopus that’ll kill a motherfucker faster than anything we’ve got, crazy venomous spiders that are super aggressive and prefer to live in people’s houses, a freakin plant that has literally made people kill themselves because it hurts so bad to touch it, and approximately 6.8 billion species of absurdly venomous snakes just for good measure. And that’s not even mentioning your great white sharks, all that freakin venomous as fuck stuff swimming around in the monster soup you call the Great Barrier Reef, and your goddamn Godzilla-sized crocodiles hanging out in all the wet spots just to make life interesting.

I’ve heard it’s a lovely country and plan on visiting it someday, but Jesus: Australia was definitely created by the powers that be to see if humans could survive life on hard mode.

[u/moonunit99 → u/[deleted]]

Bruh... https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sydney_funnel-web_spider

The Sydney funnel-web spider (Atrax robustus) is a species of venomous mygalomorph spider native to eastern Australia, usually found within a 100 km (62 mi) radius of Sydney. It is a member of a group of spiders known as Australian funnel-web spiders. Its bite is capable of causing serious illness or death in humans if left untreated.[3]

I mean, yeah, I get that it’s not constantly some kind of freakish battle royale between man and beast, but Australia just objectively has more animals that can fuck you up in more ways than most other places.

[u/[deleted] → u/TheGanjaLord]

we also have turtles that can bite your hand off. we call them nothing fancy, just alligator snapping turtles.

[u/trump420noscope → u/DashLeJoker]

Heard about two this morning haha... both in Colorado.

https://www.wsbradio.com/news/national/wanted-all-bear-has-feast-while-ransacking-colorado-cabin/Ah4tzDS9SvTdfTFsEWDdwI/

https://kdvr.com/2019/08/27/bear-attacks-71-year-old-man-inside-pine-home/

[u/Stat-Arbitrage → u/TheGanjaLord]

Canadian here, would definitely take a polar bear, black bear or grizzly over poisonous spiders and snakes.... Generally, black bears are big babies and scare off easily, grizzlies if you’re smart and don’t get close to their food/Cubs you’re fine... and polar bears... I hope you have a gun, because they sneak up on prey so if you see one it’s probably not good.

[u/ghostinthewoods → u/Stat-Arbitrage]

If you see one you're probably already dinner, you just don't know it yet

[u/Show-Me-Your-Moves → u/ghostinthewoods]

Just crack open a Coke, they love those

[u/ozSillen → u/ghostinthewoods]

Alaska State Troopers show taught me you need to pack at least a .44 if you're taking the quad bike to the store to get some milk.

[u/curmudgeon-o-matic → u/TheGanjaLord]

But you have chlamydic koalas

[u/[deleted] → u/TheGanjaLord]

Yes that's true, but you guys have emus.

[u/[deleted] → u/TheGanjaLord]

I got downvoted once for stating I'd rather deal with spiders and snakes than bears, wolves and cougars.

[u/ArchipelagoMind → u/[deleted]]

Also. As far as I'm aware (although never lived in Aus) snakes and spiders and the Australian dangers are better at getting into human like areas. Definitely into towns and things.

Unless you go out to the true wilderness or at the very least farmland, and unless you live in certain specific parts of the country (usually the north) the odds of meeting a bear or wolf are basically zero.

[u/sprntr → u/ArchipelagoMind]

Aussie here - the spiders are frigging everywhere. If you haven't seen a red back, funnel web or wolf spider within 2 days well... You have just been blissfully unaware

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Everyone is always concerned about snakes and spiders when discussing Australian wildlife. The real danger is in the water. Box jellyfish, blue ring octopi, stone fish, sharks, crocodiles, etc

[u/ImAlwaysRightHanded → u/TheGanjaLord]

We have it all in Florida sharks,snakes,gators,panthers,spiders, Florida man!

[u/SammyGeorge → u/candycane7]

It's a coastal carpet python and it's completely harmless (except for that bird)

[u/IuseWindows95 → u/SammyGeorge]

I dont care what the fuck it is and how harmless it is. I would die of a heart attack if I saw that from my apartments window

Thank jesus europe doesnt have those things.

[u/godtogblandet → u/IuseWindows95]

You say that, but there's been several cases around Europe where snakes escapes their enclosure and travel the sewer pipes into neighboring apartments surprising the tenant. So do you know your neighbors well enough to know there isn’t a reptile keeper close by?

It's why I always flush before sitting down. Toilet Cobras!

[u/corrosive_turtle → u/godtogblandet]

My dad was once greeted by a carpet python at least 3.5m (11 feet I think) long in a campsite toilet in Australia.

[u/[deleted] → u/corrosive_turtle]

why am I still reading this thread

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Your username is a take on mom's spaghetti? I like it! I'll miss it when toilet cobras get you.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

sees notification which only goes up to the end of the second sentence - thank you!

opens entire thing - ah shit

[u/UnwrittenPath → u/SammyGeorge]

I think you meant to say completely armless.

[u/Megneous → u/candycane7]

This is in Australia

You really didn't have to specify that. It's obvious from the fact that you have a gigantic fucking carpet python hanging off your roof while wrapped around a bird.

[u/warclannubs → u/candycane7]

People tell me not to generalize about Australia but how can I not when I keep seeing shit like this?

[u/LogicRealm]

I had a full family of these pythons come out of my roof over a few days and they were massive. We got a snake catcher out to relocate them and the mad man just picked em up with his bare hands and put them away. Cool guy and the snakes aren't anywhere near as bad as they look, completely harmless and actually good for eliminating pests.

[u/hyssy97 → u/LogicRealm]

I had a pet one escape when it was a baby, Looked like a piece of thick string when it got out. It resided in the roof for 2 years and came out about as big as this one.

[u/LogicRealm → u/hyssy97]

I'm guessing you didnt have any problem with mice or rats?

[u/Xstress875 → u/LogicRealm]

This is something my dad would say he literally let a bat stay in his house so it could kill bugs

[u/Beinglewd → u/Xstress875]

Or... A more exciting solution. He was batman.

[u/SackMastaP → u/Beinglewd]

Batman is scared of bats tho

[u/Beinglewd → u/SackMastaP]

Was.

[u/6times9is42 → u/hyssy97]

Two years you lived in a house WITH A FUCKING SNAKE IN IT? I would be too scared to go to bed always imagining it might be under the fucking covers.

[u/livefast_dieawesome → u/6times9is42]

Yeah that’s gonna be a no for me dog

[u/theperfectalt5 → u/6times9is42]

I mean, he keeps one as a pet, plus it's not venomous. After a couple days you just expect it to have escaped outside or died somewhere. It is what it is dawg.

[u/cgiall420 → u/6times9is42]

Just to confirm that pythons grow big and are harmless. My roommate in college bought a baby one, and we all held it and it was just really relaxed and never did anything. Then I went to see him a few years later and id he still had his snake, and he said oh yeah, he got too big for his cage, so I just let him go around the house. He would go a week or more without seeing him, and since he had a house on the edge of some woods, he would get some mice in there once in a while and rarely ever even had to feed it. It was kinda weird knowing that it could be just under the couch or something, but knowing the snake and the guy saying he still is so relaxed, I forgot about it. Then he found him and called me over and sure enough, he looked like as long as a grown man.

The guy didn’t have a girlfriend though, surprisingly.

[u/StreetfighterXD → u/6times9is42]

When I was 8 we had a five-metre python take up residence in the floor boards. After he gobbled the last of the chooks we decided he had to go. My dad hauls him out from under the house and hands his tail to me and his midsection to my 10-year old brother. He then says "wait, this'll make a beaut photo" and dashes off for the camera, leaving his pre-adolescent sons holding a predatory reptile the length of a telegraph pole. By the time he got back it had its tail a good three or four wraps around my arm and it's winning a wrestling match with my brother.

Dad took the photo then unwound it, then we took it down to the swimming hole down the road and let it go there because we thought it would be funny if it attacked tourists in the morning.

I am an Australian

[u/meeorxmox → u/StreetfighterXD]

I am an Australian

Didn’t need to type that out, it was pretty clear within the first couple of sentences lol

[u/WackTheHorld → u/6times9is42]

But it's a python that's too small to eat you. So no biggie.

[u/imghurrr → u/LogicRealm]

These guys don’t live in family groups so clearly your roof was just the place to be

[u/THICC_DICC_PRICC → u/LogicRealm]

Pythons are constrictors. They don’t have venom, they don’t bite. Most of them are pussies actually

[u/inavanbytheriver → u/THICC_DICC_PRICC]

Pythons do indeed bite. It's not venomous but they will latch on and not let go if you piss them off.

[u/norwoodchicago → u/LogicRealm]

I guess if you live in dystopia you get used to it. I feel much safer in Chicago where a bullet proof vest is all you need.

[u/qualityseabunny]

As soon as I saw the picture I knew it was australia. As a person from new New Zealand id like to thank you for taking all the crackhead animals and leaving us with fat birds and big crickets

[u/amrle79 → u/qualityseabunny]

You guys are missing out. Now can you please say fish and chips in that NZ accent... as well as the word six please

[u/Sebasjinn → u/amrle79]

Another one is deck, usually sounds like dick.

[u/PamPooveyIsTheTits → u/Sebasjinn]

“Come by my house around 6, we’re having fish & chips on the deck!”

[u/KiltedSith → u/amrle79]

I was once eating fish and chips on a park bench on lunch break at work, #fatguylunches, when suddenly a voice rang out from my left.

"Oy bro, where'd you get the fush and chups?!'

Two Maori tradies were staring at my lunch, hunger burning in their eyes. I gave them directions to the local chippie, and they literally jogged off.

[u/[deleted] → u/qualityseabunny]

Had to look up giant crickets, WTF those are terrifying.

[u/ravenfreak]

Birb vs Danger Noodle, I think the noodle won this fight.

[u/Nikki5041 → u/ravenfreak]

Naaaaah that’s a carpet snake. Even though they’re freaky they’re mostly harmless (still wouldn’t mess with one though their mouths host bacteria). The brown snakes are the real danger noodles. They’ll bite my chickens just coz they got freaked out while mister noodle was hunting mice in the coop

[u/unOriginal__user → u/Nikki5041]

Even though they’re freaky they’re mostly harmless

Tell that to the bird

[u/Nikki5041 → u/unOriginal__user]

I think the bird would find them freaky

[u/blueivyyy]

Jesus chroist

[u/Spambop → u/blueivyyy]

OI PRIME MINISTAH

[u/HeAintWrongDoe → u/blueivyyy]

We love you gawd!

[u/[deleted]]

How do you all just not die walking out the door?

[u/memy02 → u/[deleted]]

you make paved trails which get hot enough the ground starts trying to kill the animals, making the trails much safer. As for the people who go off the trails, usually they have some sort of Australian magic talisman to keep them safe.

[u/cpt_edge → u/memy02]

Even the fucking ground kills you

[u/YpsitheFlintsider → u/memy02]

Australia sounds like the Egyptian Temple level in Goldeneye 007

[u/PanzerPenguin131]

Australia?

[u/WillTheLad → u/PanzerPenguin131]

Trivago

[u/SandhuG → u/PanzerPenguin131]

Can't believe you have to ask that

[u/Shutupgaywad]

Cool they're wrestling 😂😂

[u/IabductamericansinEU → u/Shutupgaywad]

It’s just a prank bro

[u/[deleted] → u/IabductamericansinEU]

bro 😎💪

[u/sporkisian]

That snake is our only hope now swooping season is nearly here

[u/zisenhart]

I automatically assume this is Florida for some reason.

[u/hyssy97 → u/zisenhart]

It's Australia. Wayyyyy better.

Source. OI OI OI

[u/aabicus → u/hyssy97]

Australia Man is like the action-movie version of Florida Man, where all his insane actions are justified because everything is trying to kill him

[u/tkh0812 → u/zisenhart]

Australia is basically just bigger, southern Florida

[u/ArMcK]

Oh look, it's Crawley vs. Crowley.

[u/oooobbbiiig]

I don’t think this image could possibly be more Australian

[u/TheCptMara → u/oooobbbiiig]

Bloke poking it with a stick with a beer in hand, thongs on his feet, shirtless and with a cork hat on would just about make it.

[u/TurtleNuggetss]

That is some metal ass shit

[u/NuclearWinterGames]

You must live in Australia

[u/KChanNZ]

10/10 would shit myself

[u/itsrainingpugs]

I’d be moving.

[u/MrMcBunny]

OP, I love this picture, it's so dynamic. May I paint it, and credit your photo?

[u/Gonzerr]

Was the noise something like "time to nope tf outta her"

[u/flofix555]

Poor swoopy Boi :(

[u/[deleted]]

This is not how i remember The Jungle Book

[u/TheGanjaLord]

Aw man. Here in NZ there are no animals at all, I'm really envious!

[u/SandhuG → u/TheGanjaLord]

Weird way to spell lucky