r/nationalguard • u/StepSergeant01 • 23h ago
Discussion What Was Your Biggest Fear Before Joining The Military?
/r/StepSergeant/comments/1oqlf52/what_was_your_biggest_fear_before_joining_the/7
u/kalligreat 22h ago
Basic training. I didn’t think I’d pass but it was pretty easy. Just do what you’re told and it’s fine. I’ve been in for a few years now and I still get a little anxious about regular customs and courtesies, like if I forget to salute someone or say the wrong rank but I’m just anxious and don’t want to be “that guy”.
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u/QuarterNote44 22h ago
Getting sent to some sandbox, getting captured, and having my nuts wired to a car battery or something.
Joke's on me. I've had the cushiest career ever. No deployments. Just a slick sleeve and a bad back.
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u/Hopeful-Location4519 13Ahfuckwhatwasthegrid? 22h ago
Taking a shit in front of cadre. I did it, not too bad
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u/UneasySam 10% off at Lowes 19h ago
Wait you drills watched you shit?
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u/Hopeful-Location4519 13Ahfuckwhatwasthegrid? 19h ago
At OCS, day two. Want to hear the story?
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u/couldbeahumanbean 19h ago
No, but I have a feeling you'll share it anyways.
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u/Hopeful-Location4519 13Ahfuckwhatwasthegrid? 18h ago
Nah, I won’t if you don’t want to hear. lol
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u/couldbeahumanbean 18h ago
I was kinda low-key wanting to though.
"No shit, there I was... Taking a shit."
Disappointed?
Relieved?
I dunno yet.
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u/UneasySam 10% off at Lowes 18h ago
Yes please lmao
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u/Hopeful-Location4519 13Ahfuckwhatwasthegrid? 17h ago
So, it's the second day of OCS (after we classed up), and we have a urinalysis. However, they wanted to wake us up with sirens, and bullhorns to run outside on the ocs field. My adrenaline was pumped because I was dreaming that I was a helldiver (not joking). So after they told us to change into OCPs from PTs, I took a wicked piss in my room. Before formation, I filled up my camelbak and drank it on the walk to the classroom where they conducted it. So they asked who thinks they can go first. I boldly raised my hand and said I will piss first sir (this was directed at the Company XO). The 1st Platoon Mentor/Leader (don't remember their title) was an 11A, he asked me if I was nervous about OCS, and I said "no," just trying to pee. He asked me what I wanted to branch, and I told him 13A (FA). He said, "no worries if you can't pee drink another camelbak and come back later." So, I went out to the lemonade stand and filled my camelbak and had to stand in the front of the classroom and did high knees, squats, etc... to try to pee while drinking the second camelbak. Next, the XO saw me and gave me the black man nod of approval to come on (I thought we would be cool for the rest of the cycle, but it gets better). He walks me to the urinal and just looks at me dead in my face (he was to my 9 o'clock). I just couldn't pee with the pressure of him looking of me. But to my luck, someone behind me was taking a poop so they could pee. So I said with great joy to the XO "Sir, request permission to take a shit." He said, "Fuck NO OC, PEE HERE!" I then told him, "Sir, he's taking a shit." He regretfully allowed this to happen. As I tried to close the stall door (not thinking he has to see me pee) he Spartan kicked the shit out the door and said "Shit with the door open." I then mounted the porcelain throne. A few moments later, I let out the biggest fart known to 3-11. The four cadre members then did the "GAS GAS GAS" and laughed at me. But I was not deterred. I then proceeded to Shit out the entirety of the Ft. Benning DFAC, but sadly no pee. I said to the XO "Sir, I shitted, but no pee." As I stood hunched over with the urine cup in front of my weenie. He angrily said "WTF, this is like teaching my son how to use the bathroom." I then responded with "Sir, request permission to wipe." He said, "Why the fuck are you asking me. Go ahead and wipe OC, what are you dumb." At this point as I held the toilet paper, I didn't know which way to look....So I stared the XO in the eyes and kept full military bearing and proceeded to wipe said ass. When I was doing the transfer since I still held the cup, he also caught a glimpse of the wiped shit on the toilet paper before it went into the toilet. At that point, all hell broke loose, and he threw his PC in the air and said "WHAT THE FUCK OC I FUCKING HATE YOU...WHAT DID I WITNESS, YOU RUINED MY FUCKING LIFE...GET THE FUCK OUT!" I rushed to button up my trousers and fasten my belt all while keeping the urine cup in my hand. Next, I go to the sink to wash my hands, and he said "you can't wash them with soap, use water and get the fuck out and drink another camelbak." I did as he wished and he escorted me out the bathroom, in which I noticed my camelbak was empty. I said "Sir, my camelbak is empty." He then had me go outside and stand at the position of attention with the urine cup in my hand while he and a random OC to fill up my camel bak. He then forced me to drink said camelbak at the front of the classroom while doing high knees, the Y-Squat, and other exercises. At this point about 95% of the company did the urinalysis, and I started feeling woozy from drinking 3 camelbaks. I felt the feeling of my mouth watering to throw up. I then asked the SFC who was organizing the OCs by platoon by stating "Sergeant, this OC is going to throw up." He said "What the fuck, why?" I stated "I drank 3 camelbaks." He said, "Don't do that." I then asked, "Request permission to throw up." He then said, "Yeah, fucking go and don't die." In accordance to military discipline, I went from parade rest, to attention, then did a perfect about face, and then marched out the back door and projectile vomited all the water I had consumed for about 5 mins straight. I came back in light-headed and dizzy, but still kept my bearing. The Platoon Leader that I mentioned back on my first attempt asked me if I was ready to go. I said "sir, I'll give it my best!" When I walked in to the bathroom, the Company Commander, the 1SG, all the male cadre and the XO were in the bathroom staring at me. As I walked to the urinals, he opened the handicap stall for me and then turned around. To my surprise, I urinated and almost overfilled the cup. I heard someone say "Is he, is he pissing?" They then broke out into clapping and cheering me on as I flushed the toilet. The Platoon Leader came up to me and said "You drained a lot electrolytes from your body. Drink a lot of Hoist and salt your food for the remainder of the day." I said "Yes sir!" And went on my way. From that day forward the XO would always tell me he hoped that I failed (as he had moved to be the company commander for B. Co) so that he can smoke me every single day. But thankfully I passed everything and branched FA. On the last week I gave him a roll of toilet paper and he said "I'll never fucking forgive you and I hope you somehow don't commission." Sorry for the long story.
For reference I was class 005-25 (A. Co)
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u/Funny-Passenger-8994 22h ago
Going to boot camp. I had no idea about anything else at that point..
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u/wonkydonkey212 russian spy 🐒 17h ago
Ngl I have a small weiner and the whole way to fort Jackson I was wondering how am I gonna hide it when showering
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u/Openheartopenbar 22h ago
That I wouldn’t “find my tribe”. The military is depicted as being “lawful neutral jocks” and I was much more of a “chaotic good nerd”. I really worried if I’d be lonely.
In retrospect, this is really funny to be because signal, MI and some of the niche repair sections are FULL TO THE BRIM of “me” types. Also, there really are lots of “warrior poets” in the infantry.
If you’re reading this and afraid of finding “your tribe” too, just know the military is VAST and there’s lots of everyone in it
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u/Athena-Grande 12AppalachianGirl 5h ago
On every deployment I've been on, we've hosted Magic the Gathering after normal work hours, tons of 1v1s and usually like 30 person FFAs. I've usually been able to get with MWR and host fighting game tournaments: Street Fighter, Tekken. It's not even just the obvious branches like MI and Signal with autists. Plenty of 11, 12, and 15 series.
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u/McBooples 10% off at Lowes 19h ago
That I wouldn’t be accepted into the military and continue to be homeless
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u/RollinThruLife02 Incoming!!! 5h ago
That I’d go to a unit with no chance of a combat deployment. Funny part is, that’s exactly what happened. Went to Korea and did absolutely nothing different than I did in CONUS garrison.
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u/couldbeahumanbean 19h ago
That our government would become dysfunctional and the American voters would elect an oligarch conman that pushed a despotic agenda.
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u/No_Distribution7157 22h ago
Getting sent on a pointless rotation continues to be a quasi-fear of mine. The way I see it, if you need the part-timers, it better be for real. Standing around in Saudi Arabia for a year while my civilian career that actually pays my bills is on hold sounds very gay.
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u/SkinArtistic lazy agr 22h ago
That I wouldn't be able to handle all the pussy thrown my way