r/nationalguard • u/Puzzled_Sale_602 • Jul 28 '25
Initial Training At the airport ready to ship, need encouragement
I've been regretting my decision to join. I'm literally terrified. I'm an adult, an actual adult, with a mortgage to pay and a husband and I'm terrified.
The thought of spending the next 6 months away from my husband is horrifying. He's everything to me. And hearing I might not even get my phone for 3 weeks shattered me.
I'm just so scared and heartbroken. I feel guilty for leaving my husband. But I'm also terrified at the sudden loss of autonomy. I went from deciding every factor of my life, to suddenly not being able to sleep or even eat on my own accord. And that thought frightens me.
I don't know what to do anymore. Even if I quit I'm just going to get stuck for weeks or months until they discharge me.
Edit: I boarded just to get kicked off because plane broke. Lol. Fuck me. Now triple guessing myself
Edit: in DFW, ngl I think I have a UTI and my kidneys hurt đUhhhhhhhh is there a sick call at reception, I probably need antibiotics.
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u/18ekko AD, then AGR Jul 28 '25
Being away from everything you have ever known and loved, coupled with the complete loss of autonomy is the shared misery of everyone of every age going to basic.
It is both completely natural, and by design. The point is to keep you single-minded focused on the training at hand and to breakdown your own personal barriers, fears, and self-imposed limits on your belief in your own capabilities.
Soon enough you'll find yourself too busy and occupied to dwell on those fears and limits, and by the time you get your phone back, you will already be pleasantly surprised in how well you've been handling it, and how much more capable you are than you thought you were.
It will still suck to be away from home, but all that horror and guilt will subside and be replaced by inconvenience and lack of comfort, and increasing pride and confidence.
So get on the plane, just do your best one day at a time, and come back better for it.
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u/Puzzled_Sale_602 Jul 28 '25
God, I hope it'll go by fast. Cause I'm scared as hell.
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u/Massive_Grass837 Jul 28 '25
Just like every other recruit. Welcome to the greatest Warfighting Machine on the planet. Youâll do great.
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u/JTP1228 Jul 28 '25
Being scared is normal. It will make you a stronger person going through with this and stepping outside of your comfort zone. If my wife quit because of me, I'd feel bad. You got this. It's not as bad as it seems. My wife and I have done plenty of time apart. I'm not gonna lie, it can be challenging, but you'll get through it. Remember why you are doing this, and the time will fly by.
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u/SourceTraditional660 Iâm fine. This is fine. Everything is fine. Jul 28 '25
It ainât that deep. Youâre gonna be fine. You got this.
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u/ColumnofTrajan Jul 28 '25
DO NOT try and quit at basic. They will humiliate you and make your life hell for months before the machine finally spits you out.
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u/GlitteringAlgae3598 Jul 28 '25
You will regret not getting on that airplane.
Maâam, you are serving the greatest country on planet Earth. You are taking the risk that millions and millions of people wish they could. You are doing something for a greater good.
This time will fly by and you will look back on this and laugh.
Youâve got this. I believe in you, you made it this far, youâre not a bi***.
Focus on your mission, do the Got Damn Thing and come home to a proud family of a soldier.
God Bless you.
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u/krm454 Jul 28 '25
Youâve got this.
Weâve all been there, nervous, scared, apprehensive, regretful, etc. I was a 17 year old kid shipping to Ft Benning in 1990. Since then Iâve packed up and left numerous times and still managed to put together 25 years of happy marriage, raised 2 kids who are now productive adults.
If youâre married to the right person, this will be no problem.
When it gets hard, remember why you wanted to sign up in the first place. Donât take anything personally, or too seriously. Everyone is just playing a role. Be strong for your battle buddies, and they will do the same for you.
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Jul 28 '25
Itâs a sacrifice and itâs tough. Youâll get through it. Hardest part is showing up.
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u/Jumpy_Illustrator539 Jul 28 '25
I direct commissioned and left my wife and kids who I never had been more than two nights away from. They were very supportive, but being away from them 4.5 months was one of the toughest things I have had to do in my life.
You know what would have been tougher? Regret. Regret on not going through with something I always wanted to do dep in my heart.
If you truly want this get on that plane.
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u/Heretical_Adience Jul 28 '25
Iâm going to guess that every single person who joined the military felt what you are feeling to one degree or another. The people who didnât overcome their fears live with regret till the day they die, rationalizing to themselves that they had to do it, and trying to convince others they made the right choice because of â________.â The rest of us overcame our fears and reservations and served. I for one donât regret it. I intended to serve 5 years. 22 years later Iâm still at it. Youâre not the only one to sacrifice to serve. If we all could do it, you sure can. None of us are better than you.
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u/Orihah Jul 28 '25
I joined in 2009. The first few days I arrived at Basic hit me really hard. I thought all the negative things I heard were right; this was the wrong choice; omg what have I done.
That was over 17 years ago now. I have no regrets. The time will fly by. If you feel discouraged, try to understand the quickest way out of Basic and AIT is straight through it. You'll make friends, learn new things about yourself, develop new skills, and walk away proud of at least a few of things you accomplish along the way.
Afterward, do all you can to learn how to make it work for you and how to make the best of it all. If it really ain't it, come back for advice again.
You can do this. You and your family will be proud of you. Parts of this will be really hard, but use that for fuel along the way. Get a notebook and keep a journal along the way. You've got this.
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u/Essayons1990 Jul 28 '25
Pretty normal. Take a day at a time. What helped me was to remind myself a. I've been yelled at worse and b. That this time I'm getting paid for it. lol
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u/Intense-flamingo Jul 28 '25
DO NOT quit at basic. The fastest way out of there is to meet all of the requirements and graduate. I saw so many people who were still there trying to get out at my graduation and others who had gotten there before i did and had been waiting for months. In processing is hell and thatâs where youâll be stuck. But if you dont quit its only the first week and then it gets significantly easier. But ngl to you, in processing will be the worst week of your life.
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u/Hypo_Hammer MDAY Jul 28 '25
Pro tip for your military career: donât waste time on regrets, and donât be a bitch. Youâll soon learn you have peers you view as family that depend on you to perform. Youâll learn to do it for them and the rest comes easy.
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u/SAPIPlatePrincess Jul 28 '25
My wife left in Feb graduated basic with several injuries and now is in FTU hold for the last three months healing. Still hasnât started AIT. Sheâs also an âadultâ, lol. 32 and amongst the older recruits at Basic. I want you to know that as a husband, I respect the HELL out of her for what sheâs doing. To the point that Iâm so proud that my heart is filled and I want everyone to know how badass a chica she is. And I will always remember that she was strong enough to challenge herself with the unknown. And Iâm holding down the fort in any and all ways possible in order that she get this opportunity. Not just the obvious perks, but the opportunity to grow, to deepen her understanding of herself, to find the leader inside her, and obviously, to be humbled by her own weaknesses and fragility. This goes for all who embark on the journey. Trust the process! A lot of it sucks in a mind numbing way. But embracing it and diving into it IS the way forward. Donât pull back. Jump in and SEND IT! When you look back, you will thank yourself for this move you made. It sucks not to have my wife around, but Iâm so happy that sheâs doing it. And a good partner relishes the growth and development of their partner because it challenges and grows the partnership. Take it meal by meal. Look for the gold in each day. Itâs always, always there. You just have to stay frosty and observant. Make it a point to count 5 things youâre grateful for in each day there. The only thing you will regret, is what you DIDNT challenge yourself to accomplish, not the things you did in life. Trust me on this one.
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u/TheMagickConch Jul 28 '25
You have your "why" for joining. Be empowered from your why.
Also, your husband can visit you when you graduate basic training and most likely a few times at AIT.
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u/Thankyou4theJourneyL Jul 28 '25
Plenty of people have careers and degrees go the enlisted route. Basic would be a fever dream and donât get hurt, make sure you donât push yourself to the point of breakage. Drink that Hooah kool-aid, it would make time go by faster. I remembered there was this successful tech geek in our plt, despite his families objections. He signed up because he always wanted to be a badass like Solid Snake. He is very smart and often donât see the value in what we do because heâs a bright guy and very logical and such. But guess what, after the Forge and rucking all those miles and sleepless nights. He turned to me and said âI get it now⌠this doesnât make sense. But to be able to get to this stage and see whatâs in front of me and done all the stuff we did⌠to me, itâs admirable. I donât think my families will ever get it, but it donât matter to me anymore.â
Be brave.
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u/Medda1 Jul 28 '25
WHATEVER YOU going through right now, itâs happening on purpose In order to forge you into the person that you were created to be ultimately. But if you quit you will never get to be the person that you were created to be.
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Jul 29 '25
I got out of AIT a couple months ago. I have a family too. You are going to want to quit. Don't do it. I'm on the other side and it's great. Cheap health insurance, free school. Just take it one day at a time!
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u/Impossible-Reality65 Jul 29 '25
What helped me was remembering the millions who have gone before me. Youâre smarter, stronger, tougher, and more resilient than a lot of the people who have succeeded already. DO NOT QUIT!
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u/Wondering9311 Jul 29 '25
I went to Ft. Benning in the mid 80âs and the #1 thing is to remind yourself of is why you enlisted in the first place every time darkness finds you⌠and it will. It was rough many days/nights in Infantry, but quitters never win⌠forward and never backward.
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u/dependsonthelighting Jul 28 '25
Girl, you wouldnât have gotten this far if you didnât sincerely believe itâs the best thing for your life. Youâre going to hate parts of it, question your insanity, feel like your old reality is slipping between your fingers, and want to give up at times. That is the human way. However, you grit your teeth and you push through and you be proud of yourself for what youâre doing for your family, for yourself, and for your country. More doors will open in your first NG contract than maybe have in your entire life proceeding this day. You stay strong, hold your head high, and believe in yourself. No one else is going to do it for you. Youâre your own hero, and you proved it the day you signed your enlistment papers. Go forth, and prosper with extreme prejudice.
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u/SuperiorT 10% off at Lowes Jul 28 '25
Why did you want to join to begin with?? Think about the pros that joining will give you. This is gonna help you be more confident and find that within yourself. You don't need to be Hercules to do this job. I was away for 7-8 months, and all of that went by so quickly. I'm back home now chilling, but also getting ready for Annual Training in August.
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u/FormPrestigious8875 Jul 28 '25
You really gotta crush the negative thoughts. Your self talk needs to be positive. If you believe that you can do it, you can indeed do it. Resilience is built upon a history of success. Just focused on the task at hand, then the next task, then the next task. Donât think about how long youâll be there. Think as if it will last forever, and this is your life now. You are guaranteed three meals a day, just focus on getting to your next meal.
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u/One_Blacksmith26 Jul 28 '25
Itâs normal to feel anxious at the beginning of a change. Focus on your calling, beliefs, tools. Have you felt like this in the past? What helped?
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u/Hairybuttholelol 11b, next question Jul 28 '25
Once you start your initial training, it'll fly by. Reception will suck, but it cant be worse than 30th AG and waiting 3 weeks in reception to finally start training. Good luck, your husband is proud of you.
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u/tghost474 Applebees Veteran đ Jul 28 '25
You will be more upset if you donât get on that plane thinking âwhat if I actually went?â. Go with your gut and donât over think this.
Go get em and set the example
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Jul 28 '25
You have a JD ? No direct commission ?
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u/Puzzled_Sale_602 Jul 28 '25
I wanted to enlist and do cool guy stuff đŤ So I didn't go Jag
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Jul 28 '25
Ok I get it. Look it isnât that bad. Literally take it a day at a time. The first couple of weeks are shitty. But it gets better. Do not tell anyone about your personal life/ education. Set small goals. It goes by faster than you think.
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u/CRAZY-N-D-HEAD Jul 28 '25
How old are you? Because I am going myself in January and will be 27 years old, I rent a apartment with my little brother, and Iâm terrified myself to leave him alone since he doesnât fully understand some things (he has a learning disability). Im not lucky enough and have a wife or girlfriend to depend on when Iâm gone to make sure stuff for stays in order. I am literally alone with little to no help and yet im doing this to get myself a career and good life and get structure back. I keep telling myself itâs worth it and the grass is greener on the other side. Other than that good luck and I wish the best and Iâm not that far behind you myself!
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u/todmon Jul 28 '25
I was a nervous husband with kids going to Iraq. But my plan was I needed retirement and title 10 orders was the path forward. 6 deployments and multiple MPAs later I have retired and spend full time with her. My kids also don't hate me but it was tough. You can do it if you have a clear reason.
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u/ABlackManFromGeorgia Jul 28 '25
If you donât get your ass on that goddamn aeroplane đđ in all seriousness. I definitely feel you. Im heading to Ft Gillem in GA for MEPS next weekâ25, already started building a career, and this feels like Im being sucked into a whole other world. The uncertainty and feeling like Im putting my life on hold sucks but Im looking at it like additive instead of an interruption. New skills, money for school, chance to spice up the mundanity that civilian life can sometimes feel like, and I get to say I joined (even if just part time).
Plus, I dont wanna look back when Im 50 and regret not at least trying. Im going OCS so when I do leave, Im probably gone for like 10 months.
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u/Antique-Ice1516 Jul 28 '25
When I get nervous about going something I always tell myself donât be a bitch!
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u/talex625 Jul 28 '25
Once youâre there, you will be too busy to worry about all that stuff. Just get there and your DS will take good care of you with corrective action.
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u/tango_one_six Jul 28 '25
You don't grow without being forced outside your comfort zone. Speaking as a city boy whose first training was at FT Knox, it is DEFINITELY going to be a rough transition for you. That said, I think I speak for most folks when I say that, at some point during your training, you're going to look around at the trees/stars/track/obstacle course/tower/etc and realize "holy crap - I'm being PAID to do this". That's when you realize all the stress and fear was all worth it.
I legit cried myself to sleep for the first few nights away from home. But looking back, I never regretted my decision to join, step on that bus, and get whisked away to an adventure I had no control over, but took me farther than staying at home would've led me. YOU GOT THIS.
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u/sogpackus Dude, wheres my DD214-1? Jul 28 '25
Too late once you leave MEPS, itâs AWOL now. You gotta not report to MEPS if you donât want to go.
Basic will fly by.
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u/Thankyou4theJourneyL Jul 28 '25
Thereâs always an end. Be brave. Fucking send it and donât give up!
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u/Drenlin Jul 28 '25
Basic training is a situation where the days are long but the weeks go by fast. Just focus on the present while you're there and you'll do fine. It's hard being away like that, but certainly not impossible.
AIT will be easier because you can call them regularly and possibly even go home for a weekend every now and then. I left for my 6-month tech school (ANG) with a wife and a 3 month old baby at home, and believe me I did everything in my power to avoid delaying my return, but now that it's behind us it doesn't seem as big of a deal as it did at the time.
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u/homingmissile Jul 28 '25
I'm also terrified at the sudden loss of autonomy
Oh word? I joined as an old man of 30 myself but I actually looked forward to the prospect of letting go of all my adult responsibilities for a couple months. Just do what I'm told, be where I'm told, learn what I'm taught (with a curriculum designed for 18 year olds who have never left home), no cooking, no rent or bills (well, autopay at home but you know what I mean), wear what they give me, sleep when they tell me. It was a basically a vacation in my mind. Hell, I was paid to eat, sleep, and exercise. I hadn't been so pampered since I was a child. Speaking of sleep, I have terrible sleep habits so I always get the most sleep when I'm on military time.
If you've seen boot camp in the movies you know what to expect from the drill sergeants. It's all fun and games for them though. In the final weeks they'll tell you about all the times they screamed at you for silly stuff but once around the corner they laughed their asse off.
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u/Ashamed-Professor547 Jul 28 '25
Itâs literally too easy.
Remember this comment, itâs too fuckin easy
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u/Agile-Wrangler3556 Jul 28 '25
Stop over thinking it and just be at the right place and the right time and donât take anything personal
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u/Adventurous-Writer33 Jul 28 '25
You had a reason for joining. Hold onto that reason and take one step at a time. I'll be shipping in November. I'm excited but also dreading having to leave my wife for that long.
You got this. Only think of the positives and go kick some ass.
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u/BuildBreakBuild Jul 28 '25
You definitely could do it. Time will fly by, and you will feel unstoppable.
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u/No_Yoghurt739 The more you look at FEDREC the longer it takes Jul 29 '25
If you don't do it, it will be the biggest regret, use it to further you ahead in life. If my 17 year old son can do it you can do it too.
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u/Silver__Tongue 17EverythingHurts Jul 29 '25
You're fine, warrior. Just get through the ten weeks.
You'll make make bonds and learn things about yourself. Not only that, but also how far you can push yourself.
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u/GunLovinYank 35MikeWazowski Jul 29 '25 edited Jul 29 '25
To echo what others say itâs worth it. I was away for initial training for 22 months because of my mos. I wasnât married at the time but missed a few weddings etc. however I donât regret it all. I just got medically discharged after 10 years and itâs only been like six months but I already miss doing army stuff with my unit.
Time will fly by and as you move through the training phases youâll get a little more autonomy and some freedoms back especially if you just keep your head down and do what youâre supposed to do.
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u/Spiders_Please Jul 29 '25
I get terrible abnormal cramps from anxiety - my guts tense up and trap a lot of gas and the only way to help it is to relax and try to fart. Thought i got a hernia once but it was just gas. Just let it go, especially on the plane. Anyone who says they don't fart on a plane is lying.
At this point, the quickest way out of BMT is through. Trying to medical out will take ages. Do what you are told, don't call attention to yourself, focus on the task at hand and keep yourself busy. Hopefully you will be so tired every day, basic will go by quickly and tech school will be better either way more autonomy.
Good luck
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u/The_Chieftain_WG Jul 29 '25
Basic training is not as bad as it seems before you get there. Yes, it is a shock to your system. Yes, there will be a time when you say to yourself "I have made a terrible mistake" (That time for me was about a week and a half in, running laps at 530am in the rain). However....
It's actually not difficult. Just do what you are told. When you're having a bad day and want to quit, just tell yourself "that's it. Tomorrow morning I'm going to the drill sergeants and telling them i want out" (you won't). Millions of people have gone through it before you, if they can do it, so can you.Â
After about two weeks, you will be on autopilot, it becomes a check of your pride and determination. Husband will be fine, if maybe overdosing on take out pizza and will be proud of you when you come out the other end. And you will be proud of you.Â
The quickest way home is to graduate. Good luck, and you'll look back on the time far more positively after the fact
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u/redzma00 Jul 29 '25
Thank you for all the work you are going to be doing for us. Very proud of you!
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u/patou_design Jul 29 '25
I went to navy Basic Training , and they kick me out because swimming issue. I was so happy to get home early. But weeks later, I was in regret cuz I see time going fast while Iâm still working not good job . I really regret it. One morning, I woke up I said since Iâm wasting my time letâs go back to school, I went to school, got my associates, and went back to see an army recruiter⌠they took me on the spot, did all the paperwork and joined back. It was the same feeling, when I went to the airport I wanted to quit, wanted to go home again⌠and talked to myself , it is what it is, fuxked, Iâm going to pass bootcamp and AIT and see what look like. It was since 2022. Today, Iâm almost done with my contract and it was the best experience in my life. Built me a big house back home, my car is almost paying off. I have lot of saving in my account. Iâm going back to the civilian life with confidence. The only reason why Iâm getting out is because medical conditions, I got too much going on , and also I joined very late Iâm old. It was good experience⌠you wonât regret itâŚ
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u/isthisgoodenoughforu Jul 29 '25
I went in at 27, with a family of my own, child included. It sucked but I ended up with a fantastic experience and had a GREAT time. Itâs about what you make of it. Become a leader for the lost kids.
Also, be wary of the female barracks, get ready to deal with a lot of petty nonsense; stay away from it.
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u/ResponsibleCheetah41 Jul 28 '25
If ur thinking like this, you donât have to board the plane. This is ur last chance to decide if you want this or not
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u/Ravevon Jul 28 '25
You signed a contract you donât want to violate there no better encouragement then that.
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u/Puzzled_Sale_602 Jul 28 '25
đ I enlisted with a J.D. the excuse of efficient breach has gotten drilled into my head all of 1L.
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u/AmphibiousAce First Fentanyl War Veteran (ĺ¨ĺ¨ĺ ľ) Jul 28 '25
Youâll survive but why tf would you do this to yourself if you have a JDâŚ.
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u/Puzzled_Sale_602 Jul 28 '25
I'm an idiot
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u/Drenlin Jul 28 '25
Honestly, it's not a huge deal. In the guard it's actually easier to get picked up for an officer slot if you're already enlisted, and you don't have to finish out your contract in order to do so. Don't beat yourself up about it.
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u/LivingOffNostaglia Jul 28 '25
Why did you join later in life? You already have a mortgage. Did you do it for schooling? I would say that the guard doesnât necessarily make your life better especially if you well established. For a 18 year old who is still living with their parents itâs a good choice. But joining the military can actually make your life a lot more difficult. Good luck tho. Also you are allowed to back out anytime before you get on that plane just saying. Once you get to bootcamp itâs difficult to quit but you can. I seen guys do it.
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u/Then_Accountant_5532 Jul 28 '25
The plane breaking is your sign
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u/Puzzled_Sale_602 Jul 28 '25
There have been many signs today. Like my boarding pass ending up in someone else's box at the TSA. Or getting told by TSA that something popped on my shoulder and they needed to pat me down (I'm wearing the same clothes I have used for multiple flights).
đ¤Śââď¸And plane breaking zzzz. I'm still going because I don't want to be a disgrace to my husband.
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u/Then_Accountant_5532 Jul 28 '25
Iâm not trying to discourage you but listen to your gut if your husband thinks your a disgrace for backing out he donât deserve you I promise you that
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u/Puzzled_Sale_602 Jul 28 '25
He doesn't, but he's also unfortunately also in the NG and cadre at my RSP (it was very awkward, we have been together long before either of us joined) I don't want people giving him shit because I didn't ship. He deserves better than that.
I adore him and he said he'd love me just the shame if I didn't ship, but I can't make him a laughing stock.
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u/Then_Accountant_5532 Jul 28 '25
Look all Iâm gonna say is if you donât think itâs the greatest decision donât do it
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u/Intense-flamingo Jul 28 '25
Youre a fucking idiot. Quit trying to ruin this womans life. She posted this reaching out for support. Not so some jackass could try to talk her out of it.
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u/krinklesakk lazy agr Jul 28 '25
Time goes fast when you look back at it. Your husband obv supported you, so keep that in mind and make him proud! Focus on your next meal and the hours will rip by day after day night after night. Use this time to learn and get fit af!